“I know. I’d be the same about my mom.”
He would be. His mom was the sweetest. She loaned me the money for a bus ticket to LA when I decided to quit college.
Brad’s voice brightened. “Good news on the Christmas project you gave me. The last delivery was completed early this morning.”
“I know.”
“Her roommate told her?”
“Yeah.”
“Camaro Montepulciano. That girl’s a piece of work.”
“How so?”
“Smokin’ hot, but exasperating attitude. Fought me at every turn.”
Sounds familiar.
“Nice thing you did for them.”
“Jewel doesn’t see it that way.”
“Why the hell not? You ever see the inside of that apartment?”
I barely registered his question. My focus was elsewhere, across the hall where the water was still running. Jewel had been in there a while. Steam billowed out into the hall. I put far too much stock in the fact that, even though she hadn’t invited me to shower with her, she hadn’t closed the door.
“I don’t even think it’s a real apartment.” Incredulity raised his voice. “It’s barely big enough to fit two twin beds side by side. Only a single bulb dangling from a wire in the ceiling. Brackets and old shelving on unpainted drywall. The one window they have is barred and nailed shut. The refrigerator didn’t even work.” He sighed. “Are you listening to me?”
“Yeah.” I raked a hand through my hair. “I suspected it was bad.”
“Bad doesn’t cover it. And the inside is Taj Mahal compared to the outside. Drug paraphernalia in the hall. Homeless people sleeping in the stairwell. One of my delivery guys got robbed. Another one got shot at.”
“Fucking hell.” I rubbed my pounding temples. Jewel couldn’t go back to that. But how could I stop her when I didn’t have the power to keep her here?
“She really isn’t hitting you up for any money?”
I huffed out a laugh. “She almost left when she found out about all the stuff I had you do.”
“Incredible.”
“She is.”
“You’re into her,” he said after a pause. When I didn’t deny it, he switched subjects. “Hey, I listened to the songs you sent over late last night. Good stuff.”
“Thanks.” It was high praise, coming from him. Brad was nearly as exacting as the ice queen of Black Cat Records.
“I’ll send them on to Timmons today.”
“Already?” I wasn’t sure I wanted her frosty displeasure dampening my creativity at this point in the process, especially with all that was up in the air with my mom and Jewel.
“You need her approval. It’s a radical departure from your last album. I like it, but she’s your producer. She’s got to sign off on it.”
I sighed. “Sure. I know.”
“Your girl has a nice set of pipes. Perfect foil to your voice. She’s a little rough, but unpolished works for that ballad. Can I make a suggestion?”
“Fire away.”
“Make the part with you two in combo a progressive bridge: Could be the one. Is the right one. Will always be the one.”
“That’s perfect.”
“That song feels big.” The line went silent for a few seconds. “This thing with you and her, is it like that?”
“It’s exactly like that.”
“I was going to hassle you about getting a nondisclosure from her.”
“No releases.” If I did that, I’d lose her for sure.
“So, what are you going to do about her?”
“I don’t know, man.”
“Go with what feels right.”
Good advice, usually. It’s what he told me about pursuing a career in music.
But this was different. Bigger.
Chapter 33
* * *
Jewel
“Who were you talking to just now?” I knotted my robe tighter as I stepped into the bedroom.
“Brad. My manager. One of my closest friends. The guy who sent all the stuff to your apartment because I told him to.”
“Did you tell him to come get it and take it all back?”
“No.” Narrowing his eyes, Rush stalked toward me. His jeans were buttoned now, but he still hadn’t put on a shirt.
I curled my fingers into fists at my sides, focusing on my nails digging into my palms and not on how sexy he was.
“It stays.” His expression turned as steely as his gaze. “All of it.”
I shook my head. “I can’t repay you.”
“I don’t expect to be repaid, Jewel. It was a gift. It’s Christmas.”
“You bought me the clothes. The paints. The scales between us are already unbalanced. You can’t refurnish my entire apartment.”
“Is that what you’re worried about? The scales between us?”
I nodded.
“This isn’t about economics. It’s about me as a man and you as a woman. You’re too good for me. They’re already unbalanced.” Directly in front of me now, he reached for my hands and tugged me into him. “Look at me, Jewel.”
His hard body aligned to mine, I had to crane my neck to keep his handsome face in view.
“The things I have, the things I can afford to do because of my job . . . they don’t mean shit if I can’t share them with someone I care about. And I care about you. Don’t you get that?”
“But—”
“You gonna throw at me again the way we started?”
“Yes, I—”
“The fact that we haven’t been together very long?”
I nodded.
“Do you think every story starts like a fairy tale?”
“No.” I shook my head. My gran had been the last in our family to have a beginning like one of those.
“How long do you think is long enough to know how you feel about someone? A day? Two days? A week? Because we don’t have that amount of time. You won’t give it to me.” His square jaw firmed. “But after spending night after night, day after day, hour after hour in your company, I know how I feel.”
“How?” I whispered.
“I feel desperate, Jewel. Desperate to keep you, no matter what it takes.”
“I don’t—”
“You’ve backed me into a corner with your restrictions.” His eyes flared.
“I didn’t mean to.”
“I want to wake up with you in my arms. I want to spend my days talking to you and making you smile, my nights making love to you. I don’t want to miss a single sunset without you beside me to share it.”
“I want that too. But—”
“No buts. Let’s do it. What’s stopping us?”
“I’m me. You’re you. You leave in two days. I go back to . . . to . . . doing what I have to. There’s no happy ending for us.”
“There’s none because you won’t consider it. What are you afraid of, Jewel?”
“You. Us.” And being left behind. Falling short. Feeling abandoned. “Picking up the pieces afterward . . .” Like I did after losing my parents, Landon, my gran. “I’ve done it before, but I just don’t know if I can do it again.”
“Baby, I’m not going anywhere that you can’t come with me.”
“You say that now. But what about tomorrow?”
“When I change my mind about us, you mean?”
“Yes.”
“I’m not that dipshit who abandoned you.”
“I don’t think you are, or I wouldn’t be here with you. But I need more time to be sure.”
“What’s more time going to tell you that you don’t already know about me? I’m just a simple guy underneath all the rock-star trappings, a little more clueless about relationships than most. But I know this is real. The way I feel . . . the way I think you feel about me. We work together.”
Amazed and confused, I blinked up at him. “You want me to just go where you lead. To follow you wherever and throw caution to the wind. And you want me to make that decision right now.
”
“Yes.”
“No.” Tears sprang to my eyes. “I can’t. I’m sorry. Today, tomorrow . . . yes, you have all of me, all I have to give. That was the original deal. That’s the way we can go on if you still want me to stay until the end of the week.”
• • •
Rush
I pulled in a breath, trying to rein in my temper. “You’re afraid?”
“Yes, I’m afraid. Those rock-star trappings of yours are luxuries to me. Food. Shelter. Safety.”
“I realize that.”
“From a distance, maybe, imagining my pitiful existence from your ivory tower. But that’s my life.”
Stunned and frustrated, I stared at her. Jewel didn’t trust me. She was rejecting me because of how rich I was, yet the truth was I was poor . . . at least, when it came to the things that really mattered.
I backed away from her, the first time since I’d met her that I didn’t want to pull her closer.
“Should I go?” Her eyes were wet, and her bottom lip trembled.
“Give me a minute, darlin’.”
I couldn’t look at her right now. This amazing woman was everything I wanted, but she didn’t want me. Trying to hide my emotions, I turned my back to her. Yet even turned away, my eyes were drawn to her, drinking in her reflection in the mirror above the dresser.
Before I could look away, her eyes met mine in the mirror, reflecting my own anguish and desperation. One of her arms stretched out toward me, and I couldn’t resist her. I spun around and quickly eliminated the short distance between us.
“I can’t think straight when you talk about leaving.” I took her hands and wrapped them around my neck, moving my body close to hers. She was warm, and she molded perfectly to me. “Give me those days. I’ll take everything you have to give. I’ll consider that time a greater gift than anything I could ever give you.”
Her golden eyes widened as if with wonder. She was so beautiful, she took my breath away.
“I want to do right by you, Jewel.” I reached up and lifted a tendril by her face, tracing one of the ribbons of copper fire in her hair. “The last thing I want to do is hurt you.”
Chapter 34
* * *
Jewel
“Where are we going?”
I sneaked glances at Rush as he steered the Porsche onto the highway after pulling away from his condo. Only a few moments earlier, he’d abruptly informed me that we were going out.
The news disappointed me. I’d wanted to spend the remaining time we had left in the condo, just the two of us, but that was an unrealistic dream. He had things to do before he went to see his mom, and I needed to stop clinging to him.
Yet, with less than forty-eight hours left, all I wanted to do was touch him. Unable to stop myself, I placed my hand on his thigh.
He took one hand off the steering wheel and pressed it over mine. “Keep it there.”
“I plan to.” I lifted my chin.
Yes, I needed to start the process of letting him go, but I couldn’t seem to bring myself to do it. Not just yet. Not until I was forced to. All of me—that was the deal, until the very end.
Rush smiled at me. “I have a surprise for you.”
“I’m not big on surprises.” I thought of the load of gifts with Cam at the apartment.
“You’ll like this one.”
“Are you sure?” I gnawed on my lip and looked out the window, noting the change of freeway.
“I’m sure. But I can’t tell you in advance. Do you want me to ruin the surprise?” He flicked on his blinker and took the next exit.
“Is it work related?”
“No.” He zipped around turning traffic to go straight at the end of the ramp.
“Is it an errand for your mom?” I asked as he did a U-turn under the next underpass.
“No.”
I saw the sign then. I hadn’t noticed any on the freeway. Not the hidden signs he couldn’t see to reveal the desires of my heart regarding him. The one outside the car—a literal sign for our destination.
He glanced at me and grinned at my awed expression. “For you, Jewel. Surprise.”
“The Getty Museum? You brought me to the Getty Museum?” A huge smile on my face, I bounced in my seat. “How long can we stay?”
“It opened ten minutes ago. We have the entire day.”
“But the band, the album,” I said. “Your music. Your mom.”
“They can wait. Today and tomorrow, it’s just you and me.”
Rush parked the Porsche in the garage. We entered the station and rode the hover train up the hill just like all the other visitors. When we disembarked, he stopped for a few fans who recognized him and graciously signed a few autographs. Once he was done, I grabbed his hand and dragged him up the steps to the welcome rotunda.
“Hurry!”
He chuckled, tugging on my hand to slow me down. “We have until five thirty, Jewel.”
I gave him an annoyed look, and he lifted his hands in surrender.
“Okay, okay, I get it. It’s like you at the art store all over again.”
“Um, no,” I said, stopping once we were inside. Beige Italian travertine beneath my feet, glass all around, and a sweeping staircase to the upper level beckoned. Spreading my hands wide, I gestured grandly. “The paint store is where you go to dream. This is where you see dreams come to life.”
“Dreams, huh?” He came forward, an intense look in his eyes as he traced my smile with his finger. “I’m touching one right now.”
“I don’t think you’re allowed to touch the ones displayed here,” I whispered, my chest too tight to speak louder. Talking about dreams reminded me of our conversation in bed last night, and his vow to make our wish into a reality. I so wanted to believe in that.
“That’s okay for me. They don’t tempt me the way you do.”
“Thank you for my surprise.” I was mesmerized by his thoughtfulness, his words, the seriousness in his gray eyes. By him.
His expression brightened with his sudden grin. “I have a few ideas on how you can thank me later.”
“Such as?”
“Naked. Multiple poses. Like art, but interactive. Plan on it taking hours.”
I shook my head at him and smiled.
“I love that smile.” He grabbed my hips and pulled me into him. My sundress, a pale yellow one with daisies that reminded me of the ones in Gran’s meadow, swirled around my calves. “Let’s get this dream thing started. Yours first, mine later.”
• • •
Rush
“Slow down, babe.” I tugged Jewel to a halt in front of the fountain. “Let’s get something to eat before we do the sculpture garden.”
Doing her was more what I had in mind. Only knowing how much she would love this place had convinced me to ditch my original naked plans for the day. Well, not a plan, exactly, just a desire to take her again and again, hoping to show her how much she meant to me.
“I’m not hungry.”
“You are.” I shook my head. “That beast that bays when you go too long without eating is scaring the other people in the museum.”
She stared past me in the opposite direction of where I wanted to take her, a perfect metaphor for our relationship at the moment.
“Let’s go this way.” I curled my fingers tighter around hers and hooked my thumb over my shoulder. “I’ve got a little private picnic set up for us over on the lawn.”
“That sounds nice.” Her expression brightened, outshining the California sun. “Lead the way.”
Oh, if it could only be so easy with her and me.
“C’mon,” I said. “It’s this way.”
You can do it, McMahon. I wasn’t normally one for pep talks, but unfamiliar territory called for extreme measures. You’ve reasserted your role and your vision for the band. You can do it with her too.
Only I was afraid I couldn’t. With the guys, I had a history. With her, I only had a total of a handful of days.
When
we turned the corner around a waist-high hedge, she stopped and her mouth dropped open. “Wow. You can see all the way to downtown from here.”
I forced my gaze away from her pretty face to take in what she saw. “You could from a lot of the vantage points inside the museum, but you were too busy looking at dreams to see what was outside the glass.”
I’d been just as guilty lately, but in a different way. I had been too busy being dazzled by her to realize what I had. What I feared I could lose.
She tilted her head, scanning my face, seeming to consider my words, maybe even able to peer into my head to hear my thoughts. “The blanket, the food, chilled sodas, when did you have time to arrange all of this?”
“While you were sitting on that viewing bench staring at the Van Gogh.”
“An amazing painting.”
“It reminded me of you.”
“How so?”
“The white iris.”
Frowning, she shook her head. “I’m not pure.”
“You’re beautiful. You stand out, like a diamond among the more ordinary gems. I’m not interested in ordinary.”
She searched my eyes. “Thank you,” she said softly.
“Don’t thank me for telling the truth. Sit.” I gestured to the blanket. “Let’s eat. And you can tell me what your favorite things have been so far.”
I served the sandwiches and replenished her glass with ginger ale while she spoke around mouthfuls and sips. She was so animated, so excited, her face practically glowed. She was mesmerizing and more beautiful than any woman I had ever seen.
I wanted to clasp her to my chest. I wanted to lay my heart at her feet, then lay her out on the grass and make love to her. I wanted to have her in every way a man can have a woman. Then I wanted to do it all over the next day, and the day after that.
I settled for pulling her between my legs when she was finished eating. The other would have to wait. Not too long, but just not quite yet. I didn’t want to scare her.
“Mmm.” She dropped her head back to my shoulder as I sifted through her hair. “That feels so good.”
My cock lengthened, and I glanced around, considering. The hedge sheltered us somewhat from the vantage point of the museum, but I couldn’t have her here. There were too many people nearby. Too many potential interruptions. Once I started, I wouldn’t be able to stop.
The Right Man Page 22