by Sarah Morgan
It was going to be fine.
* * *
Josh followed Archie and Kat into the sea at a safe distance, making a mental note to have a stern word with Louisa when Kat wasn’t around. The girl was up to her tricks again. Not that he’d objected to the idea of a swim, but he liked to be in control of his own love life and he certainly didn’t want Louisa’s help, no matter how sweet and well meaning she was. From the moment Louisa had innocently suggested a swim he’d known what she was up to. Fortunately Kat seemed oblivious but, then, she didn’t know Louisa as well as he did, he thought grimly.
And Kat was right, of course.
How could any relationship between them ever work? He never dated single mothers and, apart from his patients in A and E, he’d never spent any time with a child in his life.
Josh dragged a hand through his hair and squinted into the sun, watching from the water’s edge as they plunged into the water, gasping and shrieking as the cold waves closed around their legs for the first time.
Why did she have to be so beautiful?
But he knew it was so much more than that. Kat was clever and sharp and she challenged his mind.
But she had Archie, he reminded himself firmly. And that made all the difference. Josh cursed softly. He was nobody’s idea of a father figure, that was for sure. He didn’t want that responsibility.
Not that the boy wasn’t sweet, because actually he was. Josh’s eyes narrowed as he watched the boy dive fearlessly into the water, his skinny arms and legs moving smoothly as he swam. Before he’d met Archie it had never crossed his mind that a child could be good company. But Archie was good company. And funny.
Josh gave himself a mental shake. Since when had he had anything at all in common with a six-year-old?
‘Josh!’ Archie’s shout cut through his thoughts. ‘Come in and swim.’
Unable to find a reason not to, Josh waded in, wincing slightly at the cold. ‘This is bracing,’ he muttered to Kat, and she laughed, not quite meeting his eyes.
He’d already sensed that she wasn’t used to flirting with men. Had there been no one in her life since Archie’s father?
Suddenly he wanted to ask, wanted to know everything about her. He, who preferred to keep his relationships light-hearted and superficial.
What the hell was happening to him?
‘English sea, Josh.’ She looked at him then, her eyes challenging as she dipped her shoulders under the surface. She rose, gasping, her hair falling sleek and wet past her shoulders. ‘Oh, my goodness—that is truly freezing.’ She laughed and he found himself captivated.
She looked like a mermaid. An extremely beautiful mermaid. And those amazing green eyes were enough to bewitch a man into doing something stupid. Like forgetting that he didn’t date single mothers.
He swallowed and decided that cold water could only be a good thing in the circumstances. He dived under the water and surfaced next to a thoroughly overexcited Archie.
‘You’re a good swimmer.’ He scraped a hand over his face to clear the water and smiled at the boy. ‘Did you learn at school?’
Archie shook his head. ‘My mum taught me. She thinks everyone should be able to swim.’
‘Then your mum is a sensible lady.’ Josh looked at her, watching as she swam up to them. He was trying hard not to notice just how good she looked in a swimsuit.
He tried to remind himself that Louisa was obviously matchmaking like mad and he tried to remind himself that Kat had a child.
Those things alone should have been enough to make him run fast and hard in the opposite direction.
In fact, there were so many reasons why he should back off he couldn’t count them.
‘Will you race me?’ Archie tugged at Josh’s arm, his expression excited. ‘First person to Mum wins.’
Kat laughed and obligingly swam away from them to position herself as the finishing line. Josh watched her go and then looked back at Archie. What the hell was he supposed to do? What were the politics of swimming with a six-year-old? He didn’t have the first clue. Was he supposed to lose? Or was that considered patronising? He didn’t want to do the wrong thing.
‘I get a start.’ Archie waded in front of him, glancing over his shoulder at Josh who was still wondering how to play it.
‘You get a start?’
‘Of course.’ The little boy grinned. ‘Because I’m so much smaller than you. Otherwise it wouldn’t be fair, would it?’
Josh felt a rush of relief and then wondered what was happening to him. He cared about Archie’s feelings and the realisation shocked him. He’d never considered himself to be interested in children.
‘I’ll say “go”,’ Archie yelled, still wading forward, and Josh smiled.
‘Hey!’ His voice carried and he saw Kat listening. ‘Isn’t that far enough? Give me a chance!’
‘Go!’ Archie yelled with no warning at all, and ploughed forward at the same time, his arms and legs moving like windmills as he thrashed through the water towards his mother.
Josh diplomatically waited for a few seconds and then started a steady front crawl, keeping one eye on the child. He held himself one stroke behind the boy, hoping that was the right thing to do.
‘I won, I won!’ Archie was leaping around in the water, whooping with delight and Josh was amazed by how good it made him feel.
‘I couldn’t catch you!’ He wiped the water from his eyes. ‘What a swimmer you are!’
Kat was laughing and shaking her head. ‘Not in the slightest bit competitive, my child, as you can see.’ She picked Archie up and smiled at Josh, a curious look in her green eyes. ‘That was sweet of you.’
She looked surprised, as if she hadn’t expected him capable of considering the child’s feelings, and he was forced to admit that he was pretty surprised himself.
Partly because the psychology of a child’s mind wasn’t his strong point and miraculously he seemed to have got it right, but mostly because he was having such a good time.
Usually, if there was a race, he only derived pleasure if he was the winner. It would never have occurred to him that he could have got such a high from seeing the boy’s pleasure at winning.
‘Can we do it again, Josh?’ Archie was clearly ecstatic about his victory. ‘This time I promise to give you a chance,’ he offered generously, and Josh pulled a face, watching as the boy wriggled out of his mother’s arms and waded forward to start the race again.
‘Not sure if my ego can take being thrashed twice in one day.’
Kat laughed. ‘Coward.’ Drops of water clung to her dark lashes and her hair hung down her back. He noticed that it was much darker when it was wet and he also noticed that her swimsuit revealed every line and curve of her body. Suddenly Josh forgot about Archie. He forgot everything except the woman standing in front of him.
Her laughter faded and he saw uncertainty flicker in her eyes as the look in her eyes reflected his own. ‘Josh…’
The urge to lean forward and kiss her soft mouth was almost overwhelming. He wanted to touch and taste. He wanted to take—
A flash of animal lust shot through him and he turned away with a soft curse, reminding himself of all the reasons why this was not a good idea.
‘Josh!’
With something approaching relief he turned his attention back to Archie, who was yelling his name.
Cold water.
He needed seriously cold water.
Dipping under the surface, he swam underwater until he reached the boy. ‘Do you really want to race again?’ The trouble was, this time he didn’t want to hold back. He was pumped up and almost bursting with frustration and what he really needed was a burst of intense physical activity to calm his libido. ‘I’ve got an idea.’
‘What?’
‘I’ll race against your mum and you can be the finishing post.’
Archie nodded enthusiastically. ‘Mum!’ he shouted, and bounced in the water. ‘I’ll wade over there and you and Josh can swim to me.’ He st
arted off and Kat frowned.
‘No, Arch, not on your own. You’re not a strong enough swimmer.’
Josh swore softly. ‘I’m sorry, I didn’t think of that.’
‘I’m probably just being paranoid—you know me and worry.’ Kat swam quickly after her son and Josh let out a long breath.
What did he think he was doing? One small success and suddenly he thought he knew everything there was to know about children.
Hardly!
He had absolutely no idea what they could do at different ages, as he’d just proved. Left to his care, Archie probably would have drowned.
Suddenly furious with himself, he waited until Kat had reached Archie and once he’d satisfied himself that she had the child and his responsibility had ended, he turned and ploughed into the waves, swimming out to sea with a powerful front crawl.
He swam until his shoulders ached and his eyes stung from the salt. Until his lungs shrieked for air and his legs felt leaden. He swam until his mind was calmer and his body should have felt soothed.
But it didn’t.
Finally he gave up and returned to the beach to find his brother standing on the shore. There was no sign of Kat or the boy.
‘Thought you were swimming across to France,’ Mac said mildly, handing Josh a towel. ‘Glad you changed your mind. Louisa’s made enough food for an army.’
Josh took the towel. ‘You need to tell that wife of yours to stop matchmaking.’ He dried his face and slung the towel round his shoulders. ‘I can arrange my love life without her help.’
And he didn’t want her driving Kat in the opposite direction.
‘Is she helping? Oh, dear.’ Mac turned to walk back towards the house and Josh fell into step. ‘That’s the end of you, then.’
Josh glared. ‘The woman interferes!’
‘Well, I know that.’ Mac stifled a yawn. ‘If she didn’t interfere, we wouldn’t be married now, as you well know. And if you hadn’t also interfered, I never would have met her.’
Josh kicked the sand moodily. ‘I don’t interfere.’
‘You arranged for Louisa to move in with me last Christmas,’ Mac reminded him dryly. ‘If that’s not interfering, I don’t know what is.’
‘That’s entirely different. I just knew you were right for each other.’
‘Kat’s not right for you?’
Josh thought of her green eyes and lush curves. He thought of her sharp brain and her quick tongue. ‘She’s fine.’
‘But?’
He looked at his brother. ‘I don’t mess with single mothers.’
‘So?’ Mac shrugged as if the problem had a simple solution. ‘Don’t mess with her, then. Take it seriously. For the first time in your life take a relationship further. Who knows? You might find that you like it.’
Josh stopped as though he’d been shot. Suddenly he felt as though he was suffocating. Take a relationship further? He never took relationships further, and that was when women had no ties. Kat had ties. She had Archie. What about Archie? The responsibility stifled him.
‘No.’ He shook his head and ran a hand over the back of his neck. He was sweating. It was the heat, he decided. Just the heat. ‘It’s too complicated. The risk is too great.’ He thought of Archie’s huge smile. ‘And I’m not about to upset a child.’
‘Well, that’s good to hear, but can you walk and talk?’ Mac jerked his head towards the house. ‘We need to get going if you want to eat this side of Christmas. That’s why I came to get you. When Kat and Archie reappeared without you, Louisa thought you’d drowned. And I don’t see why you’re so freaked out. The fact that you care about upsetting a child has to be good. It means you care about him. It means there’s hope for you.’ He slapped his brother on the shoulder. ‘You might even make a half-decent uncle with a bit of training.’
Josh stared at Mac. How could he care about Archie? He was just a kid.
But he already did care about him and the realisation stunned him. He’d never had a relationship with a child before.
Mac sighed. ‘Josh, get a grip. And wipe that soppy, distracted look off your face or you’ll never hear the last of it from Louisa and neither will I. She’s already choosing her hat for the wedding.’
The word ‘wedding’ exploded like a bucket of cold water over his head and Josh blinked.
Of course, that would be exactly what a woman like Kat would expect. A wedding. And he wasn’t the marrying kind.
There were other women with curves and green eyes, he reminded himself firmly as he strode off through the dunes towards his brother’s house. Other women with brains. Women who didn’t come with more baggage than a jumbo jet.
And the only way to be totally sure that he wouldn’t hurt Archie was to find one of them. Quickly.
* * *
The food was delicious.
Kat supervised as Archie filled his plate and then went to sit on the rug that Louisa had placed in the shade.
‘Don’t let Hopeful eat your sausages,’ she warned as she dropped a kiss on his head. ‘This time they’re for you.’
‘That dog has already eaten loads,’ Louisa grumbled, adding dressing to a huge green salad and lifting a bowl of shiny black olives. ‘Help yourselves, everyone. Not you, Hopeful.’ She tried to grab the dog but he dodged her and bounded over to Archie, who waved a finger at him sternly.
‘Sit.’
Hopeful sat.
Four adults stared in astonishment.
Playing to his audience, Archie looked at the dog.
‘Lie down.’
Hopeful lay down, his head resting on his paws.
Louisa made a sound in her throat and Mac laughed.
‘Finally, that dog listens to someone. Looks as though we can cancel the hearing test, Lu.’
‘It’s amazing.’ Louisa tilted her head on one side and watched as Hopeful lay at the boy’s feet, gazing up at him. ‘He never, ever does as he’s told. Archie, you obviously have the knack.’
Archie munched his sausage and basked in the praise.
‘Maybe he likes children,’ Kat suggested, and Louisa patted her rounded stomach.
‘I really hope so. He’s going to be my babysitter.’
Mac rolled his eyes. ‘I can’t believe I’m hearing this. That dog isn’t going anywhere near the baby—we’d better get that straight right now.’
Josh helped himself to food and Kat concentrated her attentions on her own plate. She was trying so hard not to look at him that her body was aching with the tension.
Since he’d returned from the beach with Mac he hadn’t glanced once in her direction. And she hadn’t glanced at him. But she felt him. With every bone in her body, she felt him.
When he’d swum out to sea, she’d understood exactly what he’d been doing.
He was putting as much distance between them as possible, as if the few moments of fun they’d had together had placed an intolerable strain on his bachelor genes.
She bit her lip. He’d been fine until Archie had asked him to race. Which meant it was Archie who was the problem.
Impatient with herself, she sighed. Well, of course it was Archie. Why did that come as a surprise? A man like Josh didn’t want to spend his day with a child. Or with a woman who worried about her child. He was used to women who worried about their hair and their nails and what they were going to wear. She never had time to afford more than a cursory glance at her appearance. And when she was with Archie she was just pleased if she got through the day without wearing ketchup.
All right, so there was chemistry between them but a relationship needed more than chemistry to make it work.
She watched Archie discreetly feed a sausage to the dog and felt a twinge of sadness. Things could have been so different and it would have been wonderful to share the load with a man who shared her strong belief in family.
But unfortunately Paul had only believed in himself.
‘He’s a lovely boy.’ Louisa followed her gaze. ‘Am I allowed to ask what h
appened to his father?’
‘He wasn’t interested in Archie.’ Kat’s tone was flat. ‘We don’t see him. But it’s hard. Archie is getting to that age where he notices differences, and he’s starting to ask about his dad.’
‘Hmm.’ Louisa looked at her thoughtfully. ‘And what do you say?’
‘That relationships don’t always work out.’ Kat nibbled her chicken. ‘That families aren’t always a mummy, daddy and two children. The usual sort of stuff that you say to justify being on your own.’ She looked at Mac and Josh. ‘You’re so lucky, being part of this family.’
Josh might be a confirmed bachelor, but there was no doubting his strong attachment to his brother and Louisa. And she was sure that if there was anything he needed to learn about being an uncle, he’d learn it.
‘I know how lucky I am.’ Louisa’s tone was soft. ‘I’d been looking for the right family to join for a long time. The Sullivans are nearly perfect.’
Kat looked at her. ‘You were looking for a family to join? What do you mean by that?’
Louisa helped herself to more chicken. ‘Didn’t manage it as a child so I always promised myself that when I grew up, I’d find the right people. I was a homeless waif,’ she confessed. ‘I spent my childhood in foster-homes and in care. Too much of a handful for anyone to want to adopt me. Maybe that’s why I identify with Hopeful.’ She glanced at the dog who was now sprawled over Archie’s legs like a blanket. ‘I know what it’s like to be a misfit.’
Kat couldn’t hide her surprise. ‘I—You were in care?’
She found it impossible to believe.
‘Close your mouth, you’re about to swallow a fly,’ Louisa teased. ‘What’s wrong?’
Kat struggled to put her thoughts into words. ‘It’s just that you seem so…happy. And yet you obviously had a really difficult childhood.’
‘It was the pits.’ Shadows flickered across Louisa’s face but then faded, blotted out by her smile. ‘But I always told myself that the past didn’t matter, only my future. And I was determined not to let the before spoil my happy-ever-after, if you see what I mean. I knew what I wanted. To belong. And now I do. And, yes, I know I’m lucky.’