by Sarah Morgan
Was there the briefest hesitation?
‘I don’t know.’ Mrs Watson shook her head firmly.
‘Right.’ Ally watched her carefully. ‘Well, we’ll have to think about it.’
Lucy’s words about Kelly’s mother not being keen on drugs came back to her, and she frowned briefly. Was that what was happening? Was she withholding the drugs? She made a mental note to follow it up as soon as Kelly was out of hospital.
* * *
Ally heard the laughter as soon as she pushed open the door of the barn.
Charlie was lying on her stomach on the big rug in front of the fire, her legs swinging from left to right, and Sean was sprawled across from her in the process of loading small white balls into a tunnel.
‘Hi, Mum!’ Charlie grinned delightedly. ‘We’re playing Hungry Hippos. I’ve won twice.’
‘She’s violent,’ Sean murmured wryly, smacking Charlie’s hand gently as she leaned across to steal a ball. ‘That’s mine, you cheat!’
Charlie giggled furiously and then pounded the plastic hippo with her hand until it swallowed the ball.
‘I’ve won another one!’ she whooped, and wriggled into a sitting position, her blonde hair awry as she beamed at Sean.
Ally dropped her bag and sank onto one of the squishy white sofas which had been her biggest indulgence. ‘So, how was the party, tuppence?’
‘Oh, great! There were some brilliant costumes but mine was the brilliantest.’
‘The most brilliant,’ Ally corrected automatically.
‘My mask was scary, wasn’t it, Sean?’
‘Terrifying.’ Sean’s eyes gleamed and swivelled to Ally who was feeling thoroughly agitated. Whatever she’d been expecting, it certainly hadn’t been a cosy domestic scene, with Sean playing with her daughter. Somehow she’d thought he’d be reading quietly on one of her sofas while Charlie played in her bedroom—instead of which he was lying on his side on her rug, his jeans clinging to the hard muscle of his thighs, a glimpse of dark hair showing on his chest as his shirt buttons gaped slightly. He looked devastatingly male and thoroughly at home.
Surely he’d said he didn’t like children…
She bit her lip and dragged her gaze away from the question she saw in his.
‘Dr Nicholson has got to go now, darling, so finish the game quickly.’
Sean watched her, one eyebrow lifting, and she felt thoroughly flustered. What was he thinking?
Suddenly he gave a soft smile. ‘I’m not in a hurry.’
Damn the man! His dark eyes teased her gently and she swallowed hard. He knew she wanted him to go but he wasn’t going to take the hint.
‘Can’t he stay to supper?’ Charlie bounced onto the sofa next to her mother and crossed her legs. ‘I could dress up again and scare you.’
‘No, thanks, you might give me nightmares.’ A wicked glint appeared in his eyes as they met Ally’s. ‘And I’m having enough trouble sleeping as it is.’
Ally coloured and got up quickly to hide her embarrassment. No way was this man staying to supper. She’d choke!
‘How was Kelly?’ He rose in one fluid movement and suddenly he was standing right next to her, tall, well muscled and very, very male.
‘Fine. Much better.’ Why wouldn’t he stop looking at her? It made her feel peculiar…
‘Can’t Sean stay to supper, Mum?’ Charlie wheedled, and Ally gave Sean a threatening look.
‘You’re much too busy this evening, aren’t you, Sean?’
‘Me?’ He raised his eyebrows and smiled innocently. ‘Not unless my bleeper goes off. I’d love to stay to supper.’
‘Yippee!’ Charlie leapt off the sofa and charged into her bedroom, leaving Ally grinding her teeth in frustration.
Sean gave a low laugh and dropped onto the sofa. ‘It was kind of you to invite me.’
Damn the man! Ally took a deep breath and struggled with her temper. ‘I did not invite you! I don’t want you to stay to supper and you know it!’
‘Why?’ The sharp question and the look in his eyes made her heart stumble.
‘Because I’ve already told you I don’t want you getting close to Charlie.’
He raised an eyebrow and stretched out those long legs. ‘Close to Charlie or close to you?’
‘Neither.’ She stared at him fiercely, her chest rising and falling as she breathed. ‘Please, Sean…’
He rose suddenly, catching her arm in a firm grip when she would have backed away.
‘Oh, no, you don’t. Not until we’ve talked about this.’ His fingers bit into her forearm as he pulled her back towards him. ‘Are you still trying to say there’s no chemistry between us?’
There was a long silence as they stared at each other and then she sagged slightly.
‘No.’ She stood still, her breathing irregular. ‘No, I’m not saying that.’
His expression softened slightly and he brushed her cheek with gentle fingers. ‘Then why won’t you just let things take their course?’
‘Because it isn’t worth the pain you’ll cause Charlie and me,’ she said bleakly, trying without success to pull away from him. ‘It just isn’t worth it.’
He stared down at her for a long moment, a muscle working in his jaw, and then his head came down and his mouth captured hers, his kiss hot and demanding.
She gave a gasp of shock and tried to pull away, but long, strong fingers clamped the back of her head, preventing her escape, while his other arm slid down her back and pulled her firmly against him.
It was a kiss like no other she’d ever received—fiery, erotic, gentle and demanding all at the same time—and soon she forgot that she’d ever wanted to escape. All she wanted was more. His touch was totally addictive and, instead of pulling away, she leaned against him, feeling the hard muscle of his thighs pressing against her, wanting to feel every male inch of him against her.
The hand behind her head tightened and he made love to her mouth with a skill and expertise that left every feminine nerve ending in her body crying out for more.
Tentatively her hand travelled up to his neck touching the surprisingly soft hair at the back of his head, her heart pounding as his tongue danced with hers, dominating but at the same time gentle, encouraging her more timid response.
Her senses whirling, her free hand lifted to his chest, feeling the solid strength of muscle under the thin fabric of his shirt, feeling the steady thud of his heart. Ally could think of nothing but the way he made her feel. The way no one had ever made her feel before…
Sean growled something inarticulate and then dragged his mouth away from hers, trailing hot, biting kisses down the length of her throat before cupping her face in his hands.
His breathing was harsh and uneven as he stared down at her. ‘Now tell me it’s not worth it, Ally.’
And with that he released her and turned on his heel, leaving her with limbs trembling and heart pounding, wondering what had hit her.
CHAPTER FIVE
ALLY closed the door of her consulting room and sank into her chair. She couldn’t concentrate on the flickering computer screen in front of her. She couldn’t concentrate on the list of patients waiting to be seen or the mountain of results to be checked. In fact, she couldn’t concentrate on anything. It was a cold Monday morning and all she could think about was Sean and the way it had felt when he’d kissed her.
Why had she let him do that? Why?
She gave a groan and closed her eyes. The truth was that he hadn’t given her any choice. At least not in the beginning. But after that…well, after that she’d been as keen as him. Something had sparked between them, something she’d never known could happen.
She opened her eyes and lifted her chin. Well, it wasn’t going to happen again. It was only a kiss, for goodness’ sake. She could live with a kiss.
Straightening in her chair, she bit her lip, her emotions tumbled. How was she going to face him? He hadn’t stayed to supper on Saturday night. He hadn’t even stayed to have a co
nversation. He’d just kissed her until she’d been a gibbering wreck and then had walked out, leaving her to deal with the aftermath of her unleashed emotions. And now she had to face him.
Pulling herself together, she picked up the stack of results on her desk and started going through them, noting which were fine and which needed follow-up.
A tap on her door made her jump, and her hands trembled as the door opened and Sean strode in, closing the door firmly behind him.
Ally stared at him warily and he gave her a wry smile.
‘Don’t look like that. I’ve come to apologise.’
‘What for? Forcing me to kiss you? Taking over my home?’ Ruining a perfectly peaceful existence by making her feel things she didn’t know it was possible to feel? She glared at him, anger masking the other emotions that wrestled inside her.
He gave a short laugh and raked long fingers through his cropped hair. ‘Like I said, I’m sorry. I suppose I’m just not very good at taking no for an answer.’
‘Well, you’d better learn fast because it’s the only answer you’re ever going to get.’ Ally turned back to her pile of results, determined that he wouldn’t see how much her hands were shaking.
‘Why?’ His voice was hoarse and heart-stoppingly male. ‘Because you want to protect Charlie? Maybe she doesn’t need protecting. People come and go all the time—it’s a fact of life.’
‘Not for everyone.’ Ally stared at the results without seeing them. ‘Some people are lucky enough to have constancy and permanent relationships, and that’s what I want for Charlie. I don’t want her hurt.’
He paced over to the window, the tension visible in those broad shoulders as he stared out across the fells. ‘So you refuse to take any risks or have any fun of your own in case it ends up hurting Charlie.’
‘And me.’ Ally stared bleakly at his broad back. ‘In case it ends up hurting me. Which is what you’d do, Sean.’
He turned then, his dark eyes intense. ‘You don’t know that.’
She knew that. Dear God, she knew. ‘You’d break my heart, Sean—’
‘This is totally illogical.’ He raked long fingers through his hair and made an impatient sound. ‘What is it you want? Guarantees? There are never any guarantees—people never start a relationship knowing how’s it going to end.’
‘You do. You’ve told me as much.’ She held his gaze steadily. ‘You’re very honest about the fact that you avoid intimacy and you don’t want children, so a relationship with you can only have one ending—and it’s not the one I want.’
He stared at her for a long moment, his jaw tense. ‘There are reasons for the way I feel.’
‘Share them.’
There was a rap on the door and Helen entered with a pile of notes, smiling briefly as she noticed Sean.
‘Oh, hello, there, Dr Nicholson. I didn’t know you were in here.’
To his credit, Sean managed a fairly genuine smile. Ally was ready to scream at the practice manager for her lousy timing. Sean had been about to open up to her, she was sure of it, but instead he glanced at his watch and gave Ally a brief nod that reflected none of the intimacy of their conversation only seconds earlier.
‘I’d better get on. I’ve got patients to see.’
And with that he strode out, leaving Ally in a worse state than she’d been in when he’d entered the room ten minutes before.
Helen discussed a few problems with her and then left, leaving Ally to pull herself together before the stream of patients started.
Her first patient was Jenny Monroe, looking white and strained, a small bandage visible under her tights.
‘Hello, Jenny.’ Ally pushed her own problem to one side. ‘I gather you managed to get an appointment very quickly?’
Jenny nodded. ‘They rang me the day after because they had a cancellation. I had it taken out, but they said they think it’s malignant. I have to go back on Thursday for the results.’
‘I’m sorry, Jenny.’ Ally felt a rush of sympathy for the young woman. Why was life so unfair? Jenny was so young and the diagnosis of malignant melanoma was a serious one.
‘They said that they’d have to measure the thickness of the mole and that will give them an idea of how serious it is.’ Jenny looked sick and suddenly burst into tears. ‘I just keep thinking I’m going to die.’
‘You mustn’t think that!’ Ally said firmly. ‘You don’t have all the facts yet, and when you do we’ll just make sure you have the very best treatment. You aren’t going to die, Jenny.’
Jenny sniffed and took the tissue Ally offered her. ‘Thanks. I suppose I’m just being stupid. People do survive cancer, don’t they, even if they’re told they’re not going to?’
‘They do, indeed. Positive thinking is terribly important in fighting any illness, Jenny,’ Ally agreed, ‘but you haven’t been told any of those things—you’re just letting your imagination run away with you. With luck it will have been caught in the very early stages—you’ll probably just need regular checks.’
‘I read in a magazine about using interferon for skin cancer—would I be suitable for that?’
Ally blinked. Nowadays patients were so much better informed than they used to be, and it was always quite tough on the GP who had to be three steps ahead of what was being printed in the press.
‘Skin cancers haven’t generally responded well to chemotherapy, but you’re right that alpha interferon has shown some very promising results. I’m not sure exactly which patients it’s suitable for but when we have more details from the hospital we can ask the consultant. You could ask them at your next appointment. It’s important that you understand the treatment they’re recommending.’
Jenny bit her lip. ‘I can’t, Dr McGuire. Once they start talking about cancer I know I’ll just clam up. I hear that one word and then I don’t hear anything else.’
Ally leaned forward and gave her hand a squeeze. ‘Well, that’s why it’s a good idea to take someone with you. Can your husband take time off?’
‘He has to look after the twins. My mother’s away…’ Jenny’s eyes filled again and Ally reached for the phone, tapping in a number and then covering the receiver while she talked to Jenny.
‘When’s the appointment?’
‘Thursday at four o’clock.’
Ally uncovered the receiver and waited. ‘Mum? It’s me. I need a favour.’
She listened and smiled while her mother made the usual remarks and then her face sobered. ‘Could you babysit two eight-month-old twins for an hour while their mother goes to hospital for an appointment?’ She talked for a few minutes more then replaced the receiver and scribbled her address on a piece of paper.
‘This is where I live. My daughter Charlie is five and my mother will be looking after her until I finish evening surgery, so you’re welcome to drop your two off on your way to the hospital. That way you get time to concentrate on what’s being said and what you want to ask.’
Jenny took the piece of paper and gazed at it, her expression slightly stunned. ‘Are you sure…?’
‘Absolutely.’ Ally gave her a gentle smile. ‘And if you still don’t feel you’ve asked all the questions you want to ask, I’ll have a word with Mr Gordon.’
‘Bless you, Dr McGuire.’ Jenny tucked the paper safely inside her purse and blew her nose loudly. ‘I’ll probably be OK once I know what’s going on. It’s just the uncertainty that gets to me, you know?’
Ally nodded sympathetically. ‘It must be very tough, but try and stay positive. The other people you might find useful to get in touch with are the support group Cancer BACK UP. They’re in London but they have a helpline, with trained nurses giving information and answering all sorts of questions which you might not want to ask the doctor.’
She flicked through her address files and scribbled down another number which she handed to Jenny.
‘Now then, I’ll tell Mum to expect you on Thursday, and in the meantime give me a ring if you’re really fretting about anything.’
Jenny stood up and smiled, looking much more relaxed. ‘I can’t thank you enough…’
‘Nothing to thank me for,’ Ally said gruffly, standing up, too, and walking to the door with her. ‘I’ll see you soon.’
She watched Jenny go and sent up a silent prayer that the tumour would have been caught early or, better still, be benign.
* * *
The rest of the week was a busy one with the beginnings of a flu outbreak which kept her and the partners busy.
Ally collapsed into a chair in the staffroom with a groan after one particularly busy morning.
‘My muscles ache.’
‘Flu?’ suggested Lucy helpfully, handing her a mug of coffee and reaching for the biscuits.
‘I hope not!’ Ally took the coffee but waved aside the biscuits. ‘I can’t afford to be ill. I’m the doctor.’
‘Well, you’d better wear a mask, then,’ Lucy suggested cheerfully, ‘because everyone I’ve seen this morning is brewing something hideous.’
‘Oh, thanks!’ The phone buzzed and Ally reached across to answer it, all her senses suddenly on alert as she saw Sean walk in. ‘Hello?’
She listened for a moment and then reached for a pen and a pad. ‘Yes, she’s my patient. Fire away.’ She scribbled for a minute and then gave a grin. ‘Brilliant. Thanks a lot… Yes, I’ll tell her.’
She replaced the receiver and smiled at Lucy. ‘That was the lab. Felicity Webster has immunity to chickenpox so that’s one worry gone.’
‘Oh, that’s good.’ Lucy smiled and snuggled into a chair, folding her legs under her. ‘I saw her in Sainsbury’s last night. She looked as though she was about to deliver any moment. When’s she due?’
‘Not for another two weeks.’
Lucy shook her head slowly. ‘No way is that woman going to last two weeks. She’ll have delivered by Saturday if you ask me.’
‘Clairvoyant, Lucy?’ Sean dropped into a chair next to her and stretched out his long legs.
Lucy yawned. ‘No. I just know when a woman’s about to deliver.’
Ally laughed. ‘You should go and work in the obstetric unit, then they could throw away the ultrasound. Are you all right? You look exhausted.’