The doe walked another two steps closer before stopping. We stood and looked at each other, as I smelled the sweet scent of wildflowers and fresh grass on the air. I could smell rain coming but for the moment there wasn’t a cloud in the sky.
“You needn’t be afraid, Tori. I am Winona, which means firstborn daughter. I am to be your Other.”
“How can I hear you in my head?” I spoke aloud, not certain I could trust replying in my mind.
“You and I are to be joined. You will be able to hear me and I will hear you. There is no need to vocalize with me. Do you have questions of me before we join?”
“A lot of questions. How will we be joined? What does this all mean? Do you stop existing outside of my mind then? What of your family?”
I felt more than heard Winona’s amusement.
“You do ask many things. I think this will be fun for me. My family, as far back in time as we know, has always been amongst those to join as Others. The how you will learn as we go. I don’t exist in the way you think of, in earthbound terms. I exist on a different plane and will continue to do so. I will also be linked with you so that we may use each other’s wisdom and senses. You will be able to assume my form and in turn, I will be a part of you in your form.”
“So, you’re going to live in my head.”
The doe in front of me moved a bit closer and seemed to peer at me with great deliberateness.
“No, Tori. I will share in your soul as you will share in mine. All the best of us both will remain. I will not take over your human life and when you assume my form, I will have more control then. It is the way it is and has always been.”
“I know that things will change but I don’t understand any of this right now. Can you explain?” I was hoping Winona could explain but at the same time I was amazed that I had accepted that I was talking to a deer, in my head, and asking her for guidance.
“I can’t explain the magic that will happen, just that it does. So it was for my mother and father before me.”
“Wait, if you have parents, then were they someone else’s Other? Were they in both places at once?”
“Dimensional explanations are difficult at best, Tori. Yes, I have a mother and father that I still see from time to time. When their Other is asleep they may travel back to us and visit for a time. That is how my life will be as well. I am their daughter but also the daughter of their humans. Now, we must go, it is time.”
“Wait, the daughter of their humans? That makes no sense. And go where?”
“There is no time. The call has started. I feel it. We must part and meet again shortly.”
Winona turned and galloped away. At least, I assumed a deer running would be called a gallop. I clearly had a lot more to learn.
I was standing, bewildered, in the meadow when I heard Sara call to me.
“It is time, new daughter of the herd. Rejoin us so that we may guide you to your Other.”
I was back in the circle around the fire pit. Dena sat on my right side as before and Sara stood in front of me. I felt Janice to my left but sensed that she had moved a bit farther away.
“What happened? Where’s the pretty meadow? Do deer gallop?”
I was all over the place with my questions pinging through my head and some started to leak out of my mouth. Embarrassment without drinking. Fun.
Kerstin stood across the fire pit from me. “Raise her up. It is time.”
Sara and Dena hoisted me to my feet. I stood between them looking around me for the wildflowers and the herd of deer. “Where is she? Where’s the rest of them?”
“Hush now,” Sara soothed me. “We’re going to show you how to join now with your Other. She sought you out faster than we expected which is good. You have a strong connection. This will be over soon.”
Kerstin came to us and stood in front of me. She started a chant as she strode across the small circle and stopped after she had been in front of me for a few moments.
“Now, Tori, now is the time. You will assume the form of your Other and join. Think of her, your Other, think of her form as she approached you. Remember her eyes, her ears, her coat. Remember her as she moved and as she communed with you. Focus on that image, the image of your Other.”
Dena shed her robe and transformed to a doe in less than a minute. She nudged me with her head. I looked at her and then at Kerstin, confusion painted across my features.
“Let go now, Tori. Focus your mind’s eye on your Other. Seek her out by name. Call to her in your mind. Feel her approach you.”
The glen faded for a moment and I felt pain rip through me. I could see Winona in my mind, I could hear her calling to me. She called me to join her. Another bolt of pain shot through me and I felt myself convulse forward. I threw my hands out to catch myself but they were hooves.
I looked around and saw that I was seeing things as I’d seen them the day my vision altered. I’d lost reds again and greens were different. For some reason, it didn’t bother me this time. The pain had stopped and I tried to step forward only to land on my face.
Winona let out a snicker, almost like a horse whinny. “You must learn to use my body now. We are joined Tori. Now you must spend time learning this body as I will spend some time learning yours.”
“Seriously?” I thought back at her. “I’m a deer now?”
“Look down at yourself. Do you not see?”
“Actually, not well. What happened to my eyesight?”
“This is close to how I see. We use scent and hearing more than sight. I have been told that when we join, over time our eyes will work more as your human ones do even in animal form but we still won’t see quite the way you do.”
“Oh. Right, I can get used to that. This is amazing, but I’m nervous. Can I shift back?”
“You will when it is time. First, you must learn to move in my body. Then we will run. After, you will eat a bit and then we can make the move to your body.”
I became aware of a tall doe in front of me. It was Sara though I’m not sure how I knew. She was licking at my face to get my attention. She nudged me with her head and assisted me in standing. I was wobbly at first but grew steadier in moments. The other doe with us, Dena, nudged me along and I took a few steps.
“Good. You can leave some of this to me as you acclimate. Eventually, you will be able to shift to our animal form and use it with ease. I will help you as needed, especially with our diet while in animal form. If you shift outside of a safe place like this with experienced shifters watching you, I will teach you to spot potential danger as well.” Winona spoke gently in my mind and I was grateful for her guidance. This wasn’t coming naturally to me and without her help I would probably stumble and fall many more times.
I let myself walk and then run with Winona guiding us. She taught me to eat some berries and leave others until they grew riper. Without my color vision working the way I was used to seeing, I had to rely on scent more than vision for color cues. I also had to adjust my preconceived ideas about my height. I was no longer as tall as I had been and I was speedier than normal with my four legs.
Finally, I stopped by the stream that The Center had run through from natural springs buried deep beneath the surface. I drank, though I made a mess of it and Winona chided me gently. Lapping at water as a deer was a lot different than cupping my hands to bring water to my mouth.
Dena found us by the stream and after getting her own drink she nudged me in the direction she wanted to travel. She led me back to the glen where Kerstin and Janice still waited. Sara was there as well but still in her animal form. Kerstin laid out some vegetables for us to eat.
“Does this mean she wants us to change back?” I asked Winona.
“Yes, but don’t worry. Over the next few days or weeks there will be plenty of shifting practice for you. At least I was told that it was part of us learning each other. I must spend time in your form as well. That is what I think they want.”
I ate some of the vegetables and waited. I re
alized that I wasn’t certain how to get back to my human form. Panic started to set in until Winona reminded me.
“We have guides, Tori. They will shift and we will follow. I suspect they will give us instruction but can it be so different from your shift to this form? What did they have you do?”
“I had to picture you. I was supposed to think about you, how you looked when we met, and then I was wracked with pain. Is that going to happen again? I mean, if we turn back?”
“There will be some pain but now it is shared pain. I will take some of the pain in the transition each time. The better we get at it, the faster it becomes. The faster it is, the less time for the pain to trouble us.”
“Right. Makes sense. Should we try?”
“Yes. Let’s both focus on picturing you. I know what you looked like to my animal eyes but I don’t know what you look like in human sight. Can you show me a picture?”
I tried and I must have succeeded because the next thing I knew, we were both groaning in pain until I found myself panting on the ground, naked and back in human form.
Janice brought a fresh robe over to me, dark blue this time. She helped me sit up and wrapped me in the robe’s warmth. Then she gave me a bit of a hug as she helped me to my feet. Standing on two legs felt strange.
“This is how you always stand, is it not?” Winona asked.
“Well, sure but I assume I got a bit used to the other way.”
“That and you are feeling that it is strange for me. Learning to speak with you was one thing. Learning to spend much of my time in this form will take more time to adjust to I think.”
“Will we always have this much conversation?”
“Probably not. Much of what we do by mind communication to each other now will become commonplace and easy after we have bonded more fully.”
Janice spoke to me but I missed what she’d said.
“I’m sorry, what?”
“I get it, internal conversations. Over time the two of you will learn, or invent, your own shorthand. Plus you’ll both learn to listen for outside speech and other cues that leave you able to interact with the world around you.”
“Right. So, what were you saying?”
“I just wanted to know how it went. I think I can theorize, based on your conversation and that you’ve learned to shift back without anyone teaching you that part.”
“Oh, that was more—”
“Don't say my name,” Winona warned me. “Use the term Other, or deer, or even my deer. Only share my name with those that are your most intimate partners. To know my name can give them power that you shouldn’t share lightly.”
“It’s fine, Tori. I know she must have stopped you but I was about to as well. We only share the names our Others tell us with our spouses or herd leaders. Of course, Kerstin is safe as well considering her role in your life and the herd.”
“I have a lot to learn, don’t I?”
“Don’t worry, we’ll get both of you there.” Janice promised as she guided me toward the picnic table to await the others for my debriefing.
THE DEBRIEF WENT well and I was shown back to the conference room changing area for my clothes. Once I’d changed I rejoined the other women in the conference room where I found a fresh buffet had been set up with dinner selections. I heard my stomach growl and headed for the food.
After filling my plate with more food than normal for me, I grabbed a bottle of water and headed for the same seat I’d been in earlier. Janice again sat to my left and Dena to my right. I tucked into my food while keeping up a running explanation of the human things to Winona. The idea of food being prepared was new to her. I asked if she minded if I ate meat and thankfully, as long as it wasn’t kin, she had no problem.
I cut into the chicken parmesan from the buffet and rejoiced in the crunch of the coating and the richness of the sauce and cheese. Then I realized, I wasn’t the one rejoicing. Those feelings were from Winona.
“Janice, you were right. This is going to take some time to get used to I think. No wonder you guys wanted to keep me here longer. I totally get it now and I’m on board. Even though I’m not out in public a lot, I don’t know that I could even drive myself home right now. She has a lot of questions running through my head.”
She and Dena shared a grin while I continued to devour the food on my plate. I was ravenous and cleaned my plate before going back for seconds of salad and bread. And I might have grabbed a brownie while I was at the table.
Sara and Kerstin joined us in the room and dished up some food for themselves before taking their seats at the table. To be honest, I’d been so food focused that I hadn’t even noticed the mother and daughter were missing from the group.
“Eaten your weight in food yet?” Sara asked as she daintily cut her salad and added some dressing.
“Close enough, I think. Am I going to be this hungry all the time, or is this just because of the shifting?”
“Your metabolism is going to speed up so yes, you will be hungrier but in part this was a result of the shifting today as well. You probably didn’t eat much in your wanderings and we only gave you enough food to generate shifting power. You probably exerted yourself a lot in your explorations.”
“So I’m not at risk for suddenly needing to increase my pants size by a power of twelve? Good to know.” Then I had to explain pants sizes to Winona.
“No, but the rate at which you seem to be getting questions asked internally might make you a contender for headaches. Please, let Kerstin or someone know if that happens. It is to be expected and fades over time as you and your Other establish a working relationship and she learns more about your world. You’ll spend more than sixty percent of your time in this form so she has a lot of adjusting to do first. We have treatments for the headaches that will be more effective than standard human treatments.”
We finished our meals and moved the plates aside. Kerstin finished a review of my training and practice schedule for the next couple of days with everyone and we dispersed for the night. Janice walked me back to my room and I asked her in for a moment.
“Would you like a drink or anything? I was going to make some mint tea.”
“I have time for a cup, thanks.”
“Why didn’t you shift with us?” I asked as I put the water carafe into the microwave to heat the tea water.
I busied myself with getting bags of tea and mugs ready. I was a little nervous to hear her answer and I didn’t look up until the water was ready and I poured it over the tea bags. As the scent of mint wafted up I realized it was time to face Janice.
I handed over a mug and sat down on the couch with my own mug. It was still steeping and too hot so I busied myself putting it down on the table.
“Tori, look at me.”
I did, though it was with some trepidation.
“I didn’t shift because I didn’t want to spook your Other. There was enough newness and still is for now. I’m happy to shift with you in a day or so, but first you both need to bond and learn more about each other. Now that she is with you, she can learn that we are friends and I’m not a risk. Then, when I do shift into my coyote form, she won’t feel threatened by me.”
“So, you did want to, right?”
“Yes, Tori. I did and I do. Let’s take it slowly until you’re both more settled in. I’ve discussed a bit of this with Kerstin and—”
“And what? Why did you talk to her about me?”
“Well, at first I was spending time with you as part of my job and she’s the boss. When I figured out that I might be developing feelings I needed her counsel on how to deal with it. I’m no longer on your case. I’m with you during your training as your friend and as support but not in a professional role.”
“Oh.” I was sort of at a loss. Janice had basically just declared interest in me and I thought she was amazing and gorgeous but I had just joined with my Other and I was confused.
“Relax. No pressure. I wanted you to know, that’s all. I think if I had
told you I was interested before your joining you would have said something mutual and now it’s too hard because you have your Other in there with you. I get it. We’ll take things super slow because nothing will or could happen until your Other and you are more fully integrated. I just wanted to make my interest known.”
“Thanks for understanding. I’m not usually one to get involved with people anyway. Now, so many changes and literally someone sharing my attention right now isn’t the best time for exploring anything. Just so you know, I think I am interested. I noticed you and I hadn’t noticed a woman as a potential date in a long time.”
“Well, on that note, I’ll let you get to whatever you were planning on doing while I go home for some sleep. I’ll let Kerstin know that you’re ready for your monitor and medication.”
“More stuff?”
“Yeah, well the first night can lead to some weird dreams as the two of you work things through. So, for the next few nights there will be a monitor for certain and medications as needed just to help you sleep.”
“Right. Makes sense. I’ll go grab a shower. Just let her know to come in and I’ll be out fast. I know she must want to head home too.”
We exchanged a very brief but wonderful hug. Then Janice was gone and I headed into the next room to shower and get ready for bed.
Kerstin was waiting in my living room with Olivia when I left the bedroom.
“Hey Olivia. Hi Kerstin. Ready to wire me?”
“Sure am. This is just a precaution while your hormone levels settle down. If you were to have a dream that incites a fight or flight reaction it would be possible for you to shift. We need to be aware if that happens so that we can come in, feed you and aid you in shifting back.” Kerstin explained all of this while Olivia set up the monitor on me and ran her test with it.
“No problem. I wasn’t planning on going out anywhere tonight. I might see if I can read a bit but she’s pretty talkative right now.”
“Perfectly normal,” Olivia said. “The first week or so can be busy in your head. Once you two find a rhythm, you won’t talk as much. Things start becoming smoother.”
Stranger Than Fiction Page 23