by Jan Spiller
These people tend to live on an emotional plane where there aren’t a lot of ups and downs—everything just goes along on an even keel, where nothing is too great or too terrible. They also see themselves from this point of view: “Well, I’m basically a good person…” This is because they tend to avoid experiencing life’s intense pleasures and pains, which also inhibits their ability to see their own individuality and uniqueness in a dramatic and vital way. This tendency to avoid emotional passion blocks intimacy because the other person feels that the things they do and their own unique specialness aren’t seen or appreciated. The Leo North Node person may tell them, “That was great,” but if the emotion isn’t there to back it up, the words don’t ring true. Others think that the native is “just saying it” and don’t “feel” that the native is really that involved with them. When they do connect emotionally before giving the compliment, it really brightens up the other person’s day.
Contrary to their unconscious memories from impersonal past lives, this is supposed to be a PERSONAL lifetime for them—a life of passion. Their challenge is to pursue whatever it is that makes them feel happy and excited. But until they become aware of their destiny, they tend to avoid passionate enthusiasm. This is why it’s beneficial for them to have emotionally dramatic experiences: riding a roller coaster, participating in extreme sports, and any other activity that helps them feel the joy of being alive and being totally present in the moment. As they become more involved in the passion of extraordinary experiences and special people, they also become more aware of their own uniqueness. This strengthens their confidence that they can use their abilities and talents to create happy experiences in their life.
Leo North Node people do well in situations involving intense drama. When they are in the throes of it, they intuitively just trust and respond. When they have too much time to think about something is when they get into trouble. Often, these people feel like they’re wandering through their lives trying to figure out what they should be doing. They look at their history and try to “find the correct path,” or they try to discern a path that is of service and part of some deeper larger thing. Actually, their struggle to find their path is their search for an outlet for their creativity, which involves a very different process than what they’re used to—following their heart instead of their mind. The key is for them to pay attention to what they’re attracted to. This means noticing their own responses to things—what they relate to, what makes them feel comfortable, and what makes their heart happy. These are the correct things for them to pursue. And the stronger the connection they feel to a particular direction, the better they will be at it and the more joy it will bring them. However, they usually feel unsure about trying anything, because they often don’t sense the connection until whatever it is “takes hold” of them. So what works is for them to give things a try, and then they can see what inspires the creative passion of their inner child.
In fact, their job in this lifetime is to exercise their creativity. In visualizing the Big Picture of what they want to create in their lives, they are learning to listen to—and incorporate—what their heart has to say, so that their goals will include emotional satisfaction and play, as well as success from a rational point of view. For example, Leo North Node people have the idea that first they need to decide what they “should” do at a certain point in their lives (i.e., “It’s time for me to settle down, get married, and have a child.”). Then they use logic to choose the “right candidate” with whom to proceed. However, making these kinds of decisions from a position of logic and rationality creates a dry and unexciting life. The challenge is for them to envision what they want to create, “put it out there,” and then see who shows up that triggers their vitality. THAT is the person with whom they can build a passionate and satisfying life.
Creating Happiness
Leo North Node people are learning to take responsibility for creating their own happiness rather than waiting for others to create it for them. And it isn’t a matter of looking into their past to see what they used to enjoy and then trying to re-create a similar situation. It has to do with looking at the here and now and creating something that makes them happy within the context of their current circumstances.
They are learning to successfully actualize the opportunities for personal self-expression that are right in front of them. In the process, their own innate creative energy is evoked and they can begin to identify their true individuality instead of constantly acting out a part to please others. The habit of seeking direction can get in their way. After receiving a compliment, they wait to see what others want them to do, to give them a direction. Actually, they are learning to create their OWN direction by following what makes them happy when they are pursuing it.
Even though this is the highest path for them and the only way they can experience fulfillment, they may resist making any commitments that involve taking action. This is due to a fear of entrapment. Leo North Node people really value freedom. They fear that once they start on a path and become totally involved, then that’s what they’ll be doing and those are the people they’ll be with—forever! Then they’ll be trapped and won’t be able to do other things. It’s a primal fear for them—doing the same thing, no creativity, no change—“You’re stuck, you’re trapped, and then you die.” What they fail to take into account is that they can exert their will, engage their energy, and create an outcome that evolves as they go along, so that it makes them happy. The catch-22 is that they fear if they become totally involved, they’ll be trapped—when just the opposite is true. It is only when they do become totally involved that their creative vitality is evoked and they truly enjoy their experiences. If they are not totally involved, they are likely to just go along with what other people want, because the creative force of their own individuality hasn’t been sparked.
One approach these people can use to get them past their fear is to experiment with making commitments for a given project—or for a certain period of time—and then involve themselves 100 percent for the duration. If they have a time limit, and they visualize a scenario of what it’s going to be like, it helps their mind to relax and makes it less scary. Then they can put themselves wholly into it in order to see if that particular person or activity “grabs them,” because they know they can rechoose at the end of the time period. For example, I have a friend with this nodal position who had done a lot of sculpting earlier in her life, but wasn’t sure she wanted to invest her time and energy in classes to find out if it was something she wanted to do again. Then she saw an ad for a class that was only a month long—and it was perfect. She was able to safely put herself into it 100 percent, and as it turned out, sculpting “grabbed” her again right away, and now she’s happier than she’s been for a long time. And with her creative energy going full blast, her happiness is contagious, so her husband and friends feel happy just being around her.
When Leo North Node people finally allow themselves to focus on how to create something in their current circumstance that will make them happy, a plan will occur for them to follow. For instance, maybe they want to create more excitement in their primary relationship. They might decide: “Well, for one month I am going to do something a little romantic every day. It doesn’t have to be overwhelming, it could just be a simple note.” As they begin implementing their experiment, the responses they get from their partner can help them see where they need to make adjustments in their approach. It’s like a game, and once they get into it, the whole process is enjoyable because they’re following a plan that they initiated and that makes them feel happy. In fact, it is this PROCESS of intense creativity and the feedback they get from their environment that can allow them to see the Big Picture of what they want to manifest, and to continue to reformulate it at a higher level.
They are learning that for them, mental understanding follows creative action, and looking for the Big Picture in order to express their creativity actuall
y blocks their creative energy. It would be like an artist who wants to know exactly how their painting will look before they are willing to pick up their brush. In their relationships, this trait prevents intimacy because they sit back and wait for the other person to initiate—and the other person experiences them as passive and uninterested. The native can get past this impediment and experience emotional closeness by deciding on a goal they would like to experience in the relationship—something that would make them feel happy. Then, by continuing to be fully present with the other person, little by little they can co-create that outcome by simply staying in the spontaneous flow of creative energy that will naturally occur once they have decided what it is they want to create. They are learning that taking responsibility for creating their own happiness—instead of trying to please everyone else—is actually what brings happiness both to themselves and to those around them.
Overcoming Confusion and Distraction
Leo North Node people allow themselves to be constantly distracted by a myriad of outer activities: overwork; the television or music going all the time; hobbies that consume them; etc. It’s almost as if they are running away from something. This distraction blocks intimacy because there’s always somewhere else they have to be or something else they have to do. So the other person can’t be intimate because they’re constantly being postponed. Over time, the native’s life becomes very superficial and doesn’t bring them emotional satisfaction. The vitality that can be created by being fully present with another person isn’t formed, and the energy that originates when two people give their full attention to sharing core concerns and coming up with creative solutions isn’t developed. As a result, the passion and power often leave their relationships.
Someone with this nodal position can also get distracted by other people’s expectations of them, and by what they expect of themselves. A lot of their confusion revolves around their concern over what “role” they should be playing in a particular situation. Intimacy can’t develop when they aren’t being themselves. Instead of being in the here and now with the other person, they relate to them through the filter of their own confusion. This confusion is also about what they want. “Am I committed here, am I not committed here? Do I want this relationship to continue, or don’t I?” They don’t know whether they want to put their full energy and willpower into creating a particular result, so they hold back their level of involvement. This blocks intimacy because they are not committed to doing whatever it takes to create positive, happy outcomes in their relationships.
These people feel like they’ve been turned loose in an art store and they can create anything they like—but they don’t know where to start or what to do. They feel a lot of pressure because they’re so concerned about what they’re “supposed” to be doing, or “could” be doing, or “should” be doing—and it distracts them from being in the present moment. They are confused by all the options in front of them and they keep wondering: “Which direction should I go?” They are hoping for someone else to tell them what to do. This position of “I don’t know what I want to create” interferes with intimacy in their relationships because they fear they can’t be themselves or respond spontaneously to others until they have the ever elusive “Big Picture” of what they “should” create.
Their mind is running 100 miles an hour, so when they’re with another person they’re filled with distractions: “What color should I paint the walls” or “What am I going to do if the baby wakes up?” This blocks intimacy because it takes them out of the creativity of the moment, and they’re focusing on themselves. They may even get angry because they feel like the other person is taking time away from them being able to focus on figuring out what it is they “should” be doing. The other person doesn’t know why the native is angry—and the native doesn’t even understand it themselves. They just know that there’s something else they’re supposed to be doing, and the truth is that they don’t really WANT to focus on it, because it’s scary. If they actually made up their mind to create something, they would have to put themselves on the line and face the fear of failure or rejection.
They think that when they marry, at least in terms of deciding on a significant other, they have finally made a commitment. They feel that once they’re with “the right person” they will be able to see the Big Picture and everything will be okay. But even after marriage, they confuse themselves with the fear: “What if this isn’t the right person? I might meet someone else in the future.” Naturally, this thought blocks intimacy because it causes them to distance themselves from their partner and hold back from giving 100 percent to make the relationship the best it can be. It also blocks intimacy because their partner feels unimportant and taken for granted. They feel they can’t connect with the native because he or she is so distracted and distant, so they also begin to pull back. Then the relationship goes to a superficial level because the Leo North Node person isn’t really available or willing to create any real depth. In fact, unless the native “wakes up” to what they’re doing and chooses a different approach, the danger is that they can end up with no intimate attachments or sense of emotional satisfaction in their life.
Learning to Create Results
Leo North Node people are afraid to get involved and start things without knowing where they’re going. Without the Big Picture, they don’t have the sense of security they think they need in order to make things happen. The challenge for them is to visualize the Big Picture of what they want in their mind and move forward to create that result—rather than wait for it to happen or for someone else to provide it. If they don’t do this in relationships, it blocks intimacy because they abdicate personal responsibility for creating a happy result themselves. Then they are likely to go along with what the other person wants rather than to actively pursue their own dream and express their own individuality. The consequence of this is that their true inner being is never really available to create intimate relationships with others.
They also postpone taking action because they fear that without the Big Picture, they might start something and then falter. Their anxiety keeps them from relaxing into the creative process. Their best bet is to just engage their creative energy and start something new. Then they can see if their heart likes this direction—if they have fun and if the path before them keeps opening up in ways that make them happy.
In relationships, this tendency to postpone involvement blocks intimacy—as well as their creative energy—because intimacy requires spontaneous creative exchange. The communication needed to form the connection isn’t rote, it’s responsive. Also, when they aren’t open to combining with the energy of another, they don’t get the information they need from the other person that would allow them to see the Big Picture of how they could create a joint goal.
Often, when Leo North Node people do go in a new direction, if the situation becomes emotionally charged or demands more hands-on guidance, they tend to withdraw and allow themselves to be distracted into something else. If they don’t get the response they want right away, they usually just give up. They think they need immediate gratification in order to have the strength of purpose to continue applying their energy in the situation, but creativity doesn’t work that way. This is where they need to enlist their willpower. For instance, when someone starts a new business, a tremendous amount of hard work, time, money, and energy is required at the beginning—usually without any immediate feedback of success. But you have to keep applying more energy to get things moving in a new direction, and it’s cumulative. Assuming that your plan is in alignment with the needs of others, as you continue applying creative energy, sooner or later a breakthrough occurs and your business becomes more and more successful.
However, if someone with this nodal position starts a business and they encounter difficulties, or problems with employees arise, rather than becoming more involved to make it successful, they may lose interest and simply walk away. They need to
learn that striking out in a new direction is always met with opposition. In fact, this “second force” is part of the creative process, requiring the individual to muster greater strength, focus, and willpower to break through and establish the new channel of energy. Opposition actually highlights the exact point where more energy and tenacity is needed in order to create the desired result.
Leo North Node people have the power to accomplish this if they involve their passion, but instead they tend to start one thing, then something else will pop into their minds and they’ll move on to that. Carrying things through to completion requires determination, and determination is strengthened by completion—it’s another catch-22. By committing themselves to completing whatever they are involved in—even the little things—before allowing themselves to be distracted by the next thing, they can begin to access the substance of their own inner strength. They often learn this secret of self-renewal from their own projects. If it’s something they think of and want to do, they won’t stop until it’s completed. This process gives them great satisfaction, and they shine.
If these people were to frame sharing intimacy with a loved one in this same way—as a “project” with an outcome that is important to them—they would easily be able to establish the closeness they seek with others. For instance, if in their existing family relationships they were to commit to really being involved with the person concerned, the natural next step would be to continue applying energy in order to make the relationship work—for themselves as well as for the other person. In a romance or other new relationship of their choice, if they’re prompted by their own inner feelings of happiness to become really involved, then the next step is for them to take action and lay the groundwork that will lead to a successful, happy outcome. This is what creates the intimacy. And until they make the commitment and invest the energy, they are blocking intimacy because they aren’t really fully present in the relationship.