Never Again, No More 4

by Untamed

  I nodded. “Yes, I do.”

  “Thank you.”

  “I better go home. Ryan is probably livid.”

  Lincoln lifted my face to his. “If I never get this opportunity again, I want you to know that I love you. I always have, and I always will.”

  My eyes misted. It took everything inside of me to keep from getting choked up. “I gotta go, man.”

  He bent down and kissed me softly, sweetly, and gently. I was so lost in that kiss that my eyes were still closed even after he pulled back. “Open your eyes, baby. I’m done. Go home and get your answers. I’ll be waiting.”

  My eyes slowly fluttered open as I came out of my Lincoln land trance. “I . . . I . . . am. I’m going.”

  I picked up my keys and purse and headed to the front door. Lincoln walked me to the door and then stood back. As I gripped the handle, I noticed he wasn’t leaving.

  “I have to lock up,” he said, as if he was reading my mind.

  I nodded and turned the handle to leave. I swore, a part of me wanted to shut the door and stay, but I forced myself out, because staying was not the solution.

  When I got in my car, I picked up my cell phone. It’d been three hours. Ryan had called me twenty times and had left six voice messages.

  Great, I thought. Now I have to deal with his attitude, but he’s got another thing coming.

  He was giving me truthful answers tonight, ’cause I could promise him, he didn’t want it with me.

  Chapter 11

  Ryan

  “Are you sure she said she had a meeting to go to?” I asked Johanna, holding the phone between my chin and shoulder as I tried to warm Lexi’s bottle.

  “Yes, Mr. Westmore. That’s what she told me. Do you need me to come back to the house to help? Or perhaps try to call her? I’m sure she should’ve been home by now,” Johanna offered.

  “No. It’s okay. I’m sure she’ll show up. If she’s not here in thirty minutes, I’m calling the police.”

  Johnna offered her apologies again before we disconnected the line.

  “Dad, can you check my homework?” Ray asked.

  “And I need my clothes ironed for tomorrow,” Junior chimed in.

  “Okay, just give me a second.” I dropped Lexi’s bottle as I was trying to dial Charice’s number, and it hit the floor with a loud thud, waking Lexi up.

  “Wanhh,” Lexi wailed.

  “Shit!” My frustration only made her wail louder.

  “Dad, do you—”

  “Everybody, shut the hell up!” I hollered, causing Lexi to scream harder and the boys to stare at me in disbelief. Taking a breather, I looked at my kids. “Okay, I’m sorry, boys, and I’m sorry, baby girl,” I said, apologizing, as I put her on my shoulder and patted her back. “Where the fuck is your mother?”

  Not only was I worried about her well-being, but I also needed rescuing. How she did this every day, I did not know. I was here by myself feeding the kids hot dogs and chips, because I couldn’t cook, and trying my best to do the things that Charice normally did for the kids.

  Ray picked up the bottle and washed it off, and Junior retrieved Lexi’s pacifier. “You need help, Dad,” they said in unison.

  Leave it to my sons to bring a smile to my upset face. It was a soothing balm to my soul. “Thanks, you guys. I’m sorry for yelling. I’m a little tired and frustrated. Ray, leave your homework on the table, and I will check it later. Go ahead and take your bath and put your pajamas on. Junior, I’ll take care of your clothes in the morning. Go ahead and put your pajamas on too.”

  The boys scurried off, and I put Lexi in her bouncer with her pacifier so that I could test her bottle. Too hot. I filled a pot with cold water and placed the bottle inside it. Leaning against the counter, I shook my head with worry. Where the hell could Ricey be? She wasn’t with Lincoln, because he wasn’t at home. What if she was off somewhere with him, though? No, Ryan. No. Don’t think like that. Ricey would not do that to you. Never.

  The only problem was no one was at her studio, and I could’ve shot myself for not getting Kira’s number. She had to know who Ricey was with or where she had gone. I had no idea who she had this supposed meeting with. Her building was paid for, and I knew all the contractors, attorneys, and real estate agents involved with the sale. In fact, if any problems arose, they’d contact me before her. I’d assumed maybe she was meeting with a potential teacher, but I had let that theory go three hours ago.

  I prayed nothing had happened to her, since she hadn’t answered or returned any of my calls. In my gut, I knew something wasn’t right. I just hoped it had nothing to do with the one and only Lincoln Harper. I wasn’t crazy by any means. As much as I hated to admit this, deep down, I knew a part of Charice would always love Lincoln—probably a little more than she should, and especially since Lexi was born.

  That fucker was a thorn in my side. Sometimes I swore I should’ve reported his ass to the team during his night out getting blazed. True enough, I had been the cause for it, but he’d been a grown-ass man. Just like Smokey told Craig in the movie Friday, “I didn’t put that joint to your lip and make you smoke it.” In the same way, I had only encouraged Lincoln to get blazed with a few bullshit lies. What’s a lie when you’re fighting for the woman you want? Nothing.

  I’d stop at nothing to keep Charice. If that meant stripping Lincoln of everything he’d worked hard for and anyone he loved, I’d do it. Go hard or go home. Always. Lincoln didn’t get that. He had too much heart. I had heart only for the things I wanted, and anything else be damned. That was why I was who I was today. Ryan Westmore, number one running back in the league, highest-paid running back in the league. And while he had been busy having a heart, I had been busy stealing his woman—who was my high school sweetheart anyway—making her my wife, and raising his daughter as my own, along with our two boys. Hopefully, with the way I’d been putting it down on Ricey lately, I could do what was next on my list—get her pregnant again.

  If we had another daughter, then she wouldn’t leave. Her feelings for Charity would take over, and although Lexi was Lincoln’s, it wouldn’t matter, because by then, I would have given her everything she wanted: a husband, a family, and a career—the life she had dreamed of. With any luck, I could knock her up with twins or triplets again. Money was no object, so if I had to hire a whole team of nannies and maids to help her, I would. There’d be so many damn Westmores running around there, she wouldn’t give a good hot damn about the one child being a Harper. And, well, as long as Lexi’s name was Westmore, we could just pretend that she had come from me anyway.

  I smiled to myself, thinking about how I could even raise Lexi to hate Lincoln. Plant all kinds of shit in her head about him not wanting her, so he left Charice, and I took them in. Damn. By the time she would be old enough to want to know him, she’d hate him so much, she wouldn’t care to know a thing about him. A flash of Lexi calling me Dad in front of Lincoln’s face was enough to bring me to laughter. Fuck with me and get fucked up. Period.

  I pulled off my dress shirt, laid it on the back of the stool at the kitchen island, and checked Lexi’s bottle. She was so cute as she sat there smiling at me. I rubbed my finger across her cheek, and she reached for the Rolex on my wrist. “Don’t worry, little mama. You’ll have your own one day. Daddy will make sure of it.” I picked her up and strolled into the hallway.

  “I could get used to this,” I said aloud as I looked at myself in the hallway mirror and laughed.

  Damn. I kinda look like Pooch, I thought as I looked at my reflection. I was wearing a wifebeater, dress slacks, and gators. Nah, that nigga was way too hood for a stunna like me. But we had the same mindset, though. We protected what was ours at all cost, and for that, I respected him like a muthafucka. Locked up or not.

  I went back into the kitchen and began to feed Lexi. I’d almost finished feeding her when I heard the garage door lift. Charice. I willed myself to stay calm, since I needed Charice to see that I wasn’t always ready to act
a fool, even though I always was. I didn’t want to come off as the abusive type. I was never that. My mama would kill me for hitting a woman, but I was definitely going to regain control over Charice, though. Back in the day, I’d kept her ass on a short leash. Now, with this newfound love I had for her, I’d given her some rope, but if she’d been with Lincoln, I was going to tighten that muthafucka with a vengeance. Watch me.

  She jumped when she came in and spotted me. “Ryan.”

  “Charice.” I gave her an inquisitive glare. “You do realize the hour, don’t you?”

  She nodded. “Yes. I had a—”

  “Meeting?” I raised an eyebrow.

  “Yes,” she said, sitting her purse down. “I can get Lexi.”

  “No, I have her.” I took the bottle out of her mouth. “She just fell asleep anyway.” I put her up on my shoulder and patted her back. She burped and went right back to sleep. “Put the bottle in the refrigerator while I lay her down,” I instructed Charice before I went to put Lexi in her nursery.

  When I came back, Charice was leaning against the kitchen counter.

  “She’ll be out for a while.”

  She looked up at me. “Are the boys asleep?”

  “Yes. I just put Junior in his room. He fell asleep playing with Ray.”

  “Okay. Sorry I was so late tonight.”

  “Uh-huh. Did you get my phone calls?” I asked, trying to control my temper.

  “Yeah, I did. I was really busy,” she said nervously and turned around to grab a coffee cup.

  I walked up behind her and kissed her neck so I could sniff her. She smelled just like Lincoln’s cologne. I shook my head. Muthafucka. I got your ass, I thought. I stepped back, and she tensed up. Then she slowly turned to face me.

  I folded my arms across my chest. “Interesting fragrance you have on. It smells a lot like a very familiar cologne.”

  She swallowed hard. “Ryan, can we talk in the sunroom?”

  “Sure. Ladies first,” I said, sweeping my arm away from my body and allowing her to lead the way.

  We walked into the sunroom, and I sat down on the wicker sofa as Charice began to pace. Stay calm, Ryan. Leaning forward, with my arms on my knees, I asked, “What’s up?”

  “Ryan, I don’t know how to say this, but I have to. There are just some things I’m so confused about, and I need to get them straight in my mind—”

  I tapped the table. “Ricey, let’s cut the crap,” I interrupted her. “Get to the point. Who were you with?”

  She stopped pacing, turned to me, and folded her arms. “Fine. Lincoln showed up at the studio today, looking for a place to enroll London.”

  I shrugged. “Okay. Did you sign her up? We’ll take his money. That’s never been an issue for me.”

  She huffed. “Wow. You hate him that much?”

  “No, I dislike him, and last I checked, you did too, right?” I eyed her questionably.

  “That’s not the point.”

  “What is?”

  “He saw Lexi. He knows.”

  Shit. Fuck me. My plan was for him to find out years later, not now. I had to think quickly. What could I do? Nothing was coming up. Shit. Fuck. Damn. Shit. I stood up. “Okay, so what does he want?”

  She rolled her eyes. “What do you think? To be a part of her life and have her named changed to Harper.”

  “Over my dead body.”

  “How can you stop him?”

  “The same way I . . .” I paused. “We can think of something.” Damn. I almost fucked up.

  “What were you going to say, Ryan? The same way you did what?”

  “Nothing. We need to concentrate on—”

  “The same way you stopped him from telling me about your Cowboys-Giants scheme with your free-agent contracts?” she blurted.

  “You know? I mean, I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

  Charice approached me, her arms folded and her gaze stern. “Even when you’re caught, you refuse to stop lying. Just admit it, Ryan. I know everything.”

  I stood up from the wicker sofa and started pacing. I rubbed my head, trying to figure out my next move. I had known that if that bastard ever found out Lexi was his daughter, he’d do exactly what he’d just done. He’d tell Charice everything that I had done. Sue me for wanting my woman back. So what? I’d take the hit. Finally, I had deduced that Ricey loved me, so it didn’t matter what Lincoln told her.

  Stopping my pacing, I turned and faced Charice and gave her the cold, hard truth. “Yeah, I did. I lied to the Cowboys administration to get them to release Lincoln. Yes, I was gonna leave anyway. The Giants were paying more. What loyalty did I have to a team who couldn’t pay me my worth? And to see the man who claimed to be my best friend go down was an added bonus.”

  There, I’d said it. I’d finally admitted my dark secret to Charice. Since she now knew anyway, perhaps I’d score more brownie points with my honesty. Then we could hash this bullshit out and move on with our lives. I was sick of Lincoln holding this blimp of a secret over my head anyway. Now he had no power and no woman. It was a win-win for me.

  What caught me off guard, though, was that when Charice glanced up at my face, she had tears in her eyes.

  “And you’d take London and Lexi away from him just to split us up?” she said, shaking her head.

  Now I was mad. “I wasn’t in that decision alone, Ricey. You had your hand in not telling Lincoln about Lexi. You could’ve told him before you agreed to be my wife, but you didn’t. And as far as London goes, well, he didn’t lose her, obviously.”

  She pointed at herself. “I did what I did because I was hurt. Not out of revenge. You knew that, and you had no problem capitalizing on it because it went so perfectly with your scheme. And to lie and say that I’d killed his baby, when you knew the emotional scars I had from the baby I had to abort when you cared more about the league than you did me or our kids was heartless.”

  I threw my hands up. “Okay, sue me. I lied a little bit. Did I do some shady shit? Okay, yes. But if I didn’t, I wouldn’t have you, and we wouldn’t have the family that we have now. So, what are you saying, Charice? Huh? That you regret marrying me? You regret our family?”

  “No,” she said weakly. “I don’t regret my family, but—”

  I stood back and put my hand up. “Oh, wait. I know what this is. I get it. I finally get it.”

  She looked confused. “What?”

  “You just regret marrying me,” I said, pointing to myself.

  “No, Ryan—”

  I nodded. “Yes, that’s exactly it. You want to be with Lincoln. My scheme interrupted your hopes of being with the great Mr. Harper. Isn’t that it? I mean, why else would you be so upset over what I did? What I did wasn’t fair or right, but everything I did, I did for you—for us. Now I’m being ridiculed for it by you, of all of people. So what? You don’t want to be married to me no more, Charice? Is that it? You want to be back with Lincoln?” My questions were harsh and intense as I closed the gap of personal space between us.

  “I just need to think,” she cried. “I just want to know that you’re not this monster of a man. I want to be able to trust and believe in you, Ryan. I want to be able to stand by my decision, knowing that I mean more to you than the chase to get me did. Is that too much to ask?”

  Her words stung me. I hadn’t expected this outpouring of her heart. I thought she’d go into a tantrum or defend Lincoln’s honor, because she was so noble. Then I’d feel justified in my actions and my response. However, this conflict had more to do with me. She believed in me. She believed in us. She loved me. That melted the ice block caging my heart. I loved Charice, I honestly did, but I wouldn’t pretend that a part of my love was fueled by my incessant need to prove that I wasn’t the man she wanted and loved. I hated to admit it, but my love for her and my feud with Lincoln over her heart ran neck and neck in terms of importance to me. The chase was just as thrilling as the capture. It was who I was.

  I pulled her to me
and held her face in my hands, wiping her tears away with my thumbs. “I’m trying so hard, Ricey. I am not a monster. Not to you. I just love you so much that it clouds my judgment. I saw my opportunity to have you back, and I took it. Can you really blame me for that? I just wanted my family back.”

  “But, Ryan, at any cost? If we were meant to be, couldn’t you trust me enough to let me make my own decisions?”

  Everybody with these fucking soft-ass hearts. She wanted me to feel sorry for what I’d done to Lincoln. I didn’t. Hell, I couldn’t. The nigga was my best friend, and he had stolen my babies’ mother from under my nose and had been about to wife her. Ain’t a man alive who’d feel sorry for the man who’d done that to him, especially not me. However, I had to show human decency to keep my wife. I figured I’d just steal a page out of Casanova’s playbook. He had got my Ricey with his charm and sincerity, so that was what I would keep her with.

  Sighing and kissing her forehead, I managed to conjure some fake tears. “You’re right. Hindsight is twenty-twenty. I didn’t realize how badly I truly affected you or Lincoln with my actions, and looking back, I was wrong for what I did to both of you. All I ask is that you please give me a chance to make it right. If it would make you happy, I will agree to let Lincoln change Lexi’s name and be a part of her life. We can get with our attorney and have an amicable agreement set up with visitation, child support, and the name change. And I will personally apologize to him for all the ill things I’ve done. It’s time to let bygones be bygones for the sake of the children. I love Lexi too much to risk her growing up to hate me, and I love you too much to lose you over past mistakes,” I said, playing to her sensitive and loyal sides.

  Lincoln wasn’t the only one who knew Charice. I was the king, damn it. I’d had her head and pussy wrapped in a cloud since tenth grade, and it was time to reclaim that fucking throne permanently. I was done playing games with that muthafucka.

  Charice smiled demurely. “You’d do that? For Lexi and me?”