The cold air was doing a delicious job of hardening her nipples and when his mouth covered one, his fingers rolling the other, she felt a transport of ecstasy that nearly drove her out of her mind. She clutched on his hair, yanking hard and in response he bit down on a pebbled nipple making her back arch off the ground.
Dougal turned his attention to the other to repeat what he had done to the former, ripping low moans from her throat. He gave her breasts one final kiss and began kissing and licking her way down her belly, pausing to twirl his tongue in her bellybutton.
It was then Lili felt a sharp kick to her belly, breaking through the haze of pleasure. She looked up, confused. The kick came again just as sharp and the scene began dissolving until she was back on her pallet, warm and no Dougal.
Chapter 5
Predawn was Lili's favorite time. Especially a moonless one but with the brightest of stars or during the full moon when the moon hung like a bulbous luminous coin atop a spread of dark speckled velvet.
All was asleep, except the guards manning the ramparts and the crickets. Lili felt she had the castle to herself and she could roam wherever she pleased in the outer bailey of course and she often roamed the herb gardens that she labored with Mistress Eubh to keep free of the wee bugs, planting garlic cloves in a protective circle about the other plants. It led directly from the kitchens and the smell comforted her, even though it had become a scene of violence for her these past days, it still hadn't lost the charm it had for her. At times, she went to the chapel. She was mostly there on her own and the peace centred her, and sometimes father Colum kept her company. Tonight, she was headed for different place.
Leading from the herb garden, through a small gate was a small plot of land the laird had allocated to Mistress Eubh as her garden. Since kitchen and cleaning maids weren't allowed in the inner bailey unless for their work and Mistress Eubh had served the laird and his family faithfully for thirty years, he had given her a place where she might plant her flowers and she and anyone she chose might go there to relax.
Mistress Eubh had mostly planted roses, roses of different species, each as beautiful as the next and they flourished alongside the tulips imported from the Netherlands, the moon white lilies and the bulbous peonies. A carpet of heather crawled over from there until it rimmed the little pond at the garden's centre.
To Lili, this was the most magical place in the castle apart from the garden in the inner ward. She had never been to the garden in the inner bailey before, but she heard it was as large as a cathedral and filled with exotic flowers imported from the east, all to satisfy Lady Caitir. In the early days of their marriage, the Laird had attempted to replicate the famous hanging gardens to please his new bride, but he had failed both the replication and pleasing Caitir. Lili had heard from Ailbeart that the crumbling ruins of the Laird's attempt at romance still remained covered by ivy and other creepers. The thought of something magnificent slowly crumbling to dust and fading from memory made her sad. Lili wanted to see it before time completely toppled it over, it would be like wandering into the land of the sith. Land of wonder and splendour. But her kind wasn't allowed in there, she wasn't a lady's maid to accompany lady Seonag there, so the garden would remain a dream to her.
Of all the kitchen servants, Ailbeart had been the only one to have visited there, several times Lili was sure. But then again, where hasn't Ailbeart been? He has even been to the library! Lili was in awe of him and slightly envious, she had only been to the laird's solar and chambers to give him his decoction and sooth him with her harp when he was feeling restless, and equally scared for him. Even with his knowledge of secret place and passages, Lili thought it was a matter of time before they caught him. So with that thought in mind, when Ailbeart had offered to show her the garden, she had politely declined.
Tonight, Lili took a covered lamp with her and a small eating knife that was slightly blunted but would serve her well in defending herself if another drunk man, McLagan or Domhnall, attacked her. She was determined to have no one rescue her but herself, she wouldn't want to get herself into another situation with Master Dougal. Her mind flicked to the last time the both of them were together alone and a hot blush stained her cheek. Closing her eyes, she willed the thought away and quietly stole out of the kitchen, through the rows of herbs and into the magical world lit by moonlight.
Satisfied no one was around, she turned out the light and sat on the carpet of heather at the edge of the pond and let the peace that blanketed the garden day and night flow through her. Sighing, she lifted the thick fat braid she had plaited her hair into and set about untangling it, her blue eyes bright. Then, unconsciously, she started humming under her breath. Her mind recognised the tune and provided the next and the next, but the words eluded her. It was the same tune she played to the Laird to calm him into sleep and the only thing she probably remembered of her past.
Sometimes, she wanted to remember something fierce and strained her mind until she developed a headache. Those times were when she was feeling chafed by the lowliness of her place in the Domhnall castle, other times she didn't even remember to try, happy as she was here. Everyone was so good to her here, except the Lady Caitir who viewed the servants as beneath her and fraternising with them as a dirty act. Before he became bedridden, Ailbeart said the Laird used to come down to their various stations and talked to them, genuinely interested in what they were doing. Mistress Eubh confirmed he had been doing so since he was a lad.
“Ye shoulda seen him then,” Mistress Eubh had concluded with a slightly rueful smile on her face.
Lady Seonag was kind and gentle and the young lad Lucas was uncertain, a bit spoilt but a good lad; master Dougal had an unsavoury reputation, and everyone was a bit scared of him, but he wasn't cruel or deliberately unkind. The only one that was hostile, the only mar in the pretty tapestry Lili has woven of her life here was the Lady Caitir. Although the lady was hostile and equally contemptuous to all the help, Lili couldn't help but feel - in their limited encounter - that she hated her. The discovery shocked her, and she had pondered night upon night as to why but was no closer to finding the truth. Lili thought it could be the Laird's dependence on her music and by extension, herself but she couldn't be sure unless she confronted the woman and demanded for answers, a feat that was unlikely.
Lili shook her flaxen hair out, combing through the thick tresses with her fingers. A chilly breeze riffled through the wavy silky mass, lifting a few of the long strands across the slender column of her throat. She brushed them back, burrowing her hand through the hair and lifting it free from the neck of her cotton bodice to ripple down between her tense shoulder blades, welcoming the warm cover her mane gave her neck and shoulders. Her blue eyes narrowed against her reflection in the pond. She looked like a distressed woman with the weight of the world on her shoulders. She hasn't been able to sleep all night, her mind full and even if she was final able to, her dreams held no escape for her. Master Dougal pursued her into the dreamscape as he thrust himself into her walking life. The shafts of moon light played on the still water of the pond as she shifted restlessly, her fingers pulling at the small purple flowers as her mind wandered. 'That's not a verra thoughtful request.' Master Dougal had said that night in the Chapel. Then he had kissed her after. Just a brush of lips against lips, but it was enough to shake her world.
Why had he done it? Lili wondered. Then he turned right around and treated her like a lack witted child. For a moment, Lili had thought he had desired her, mayhap Moire rejected him and he had come seeking her out but then Moire had let him have her and he had no use for her again.
“Men are simple and straightforward animals,” Ailis had said to her while they scrubbed pots. “Take yon Ailbeart for one, he sleeps when he wants, moans about when he is hungry and slinks off when ‘tis time to work.”
With regards to Master Dougal, Lili disagreed. There was nothing straightforward or simple with his dealings with her and they often left her confused, frustrated and a
ngry. If only he didn't affect her so then her life would be easy, and Moiré’s sly look would stop bothering her.
On a side it was clear that Moire was the desirable one. She was tall, red-haired and voluptuous, her tilted and unusually coloured eyes gave her a wicked worldly look that enticed men to her. For a man with a dastardly reputation, Moire was the woman for him, clearly not Lili who every sly look and glance shocked. And she should be grateful that Moire had thoroughly ensnared a dangerous man's attention so it wouldn't wander to people like her whom it would destroy. But that thought brought bile to her throat every time it went through her mind, and the bitter feelings she had towards Moire deepened. She tried to stop herself each time she had a dark thought towards Moire, telling herself It wouldn't do to quarrel because of a man, especially a man who had no thought towards her but to use her.
Sighing, Lili lifted her hair off her neck and shoulders, allowing the breeze to cool the heated nape of her neck. She lay on her side on the heather, trying to focus on the crickets' chirruping and banish all thought of Master Dougal and Moire.
She wasn't aware when sleep finally came for her, her fingers were still pulling at the flowers.
Chapter 6
“Ailbeart has gone missin’,” was what greeted Lili when she had stumbled back into the rousing kitchen at dawn.
Lili rubbed the last of sleep from her eyes and noted her bones still ached. She had had barely two hours of sleep, but her head felt lighter even if her body longed for the hard warmth of her pallet.
“He canna be missin’ Mistress Eubh, he's probably slackin’ off like he always does.” Moire said, carrying a sack of flour, the fire from the already lit great hearth making her light eyes gleam. Lili thought she looked like a cat that had had too much cream.
She has probably been with Master Dougal all night. Bile rose to her throat and she angled her body away from Moire before she saw the dark emotion in her eyes.
Mistress Eubh flapped her great arm at Moire to keep silent before continuing as though she hadn't spoken. “He was missin’ yesterday as weel. That dog of his has been howlin’ up a storm. There he is now, acting as innocent as a wee lamb.” She gestured towards a table underneath where a great beast of a dog lay.
As though aware they were talking about him, his eyes opened and he turned a soulful look towards Lili before giving a great woof! And bounded out from under to great her with sloppy kisses and tugging at the fabric of her skirts with his teeth.
Ailbeart named him Wee Laird. He had been one of the Laird's hound before he had gotten one of his legs trapped in a bear trap. Half-lame, blind in one eye and old, he had wandered the castle like the Muckle Black Tyke until Ailbeart had adopted him. Now, he limped behind his new master everywhere he goes and snapped at everyone else, except Lili, but those were on occasions when he was hungry - which was every half an hour - and Ailbeart wasn't around to feed him.
He was looking at her now with big eyes, one fierce brown and the other a milky grey, panting for a treat. Lili bent to scratch behind his ears and he rolled unto his back for further ministrations but Lili gave him two solid pats on the belly before asking if there were any leftover scraps.
“I dinnae ken where he could be,” Lili said to Mistress Eubh, pushing her hair back from her face while Wee Laird gnawed happily on the leg of a chicken. “He doesna tell me where he is going before he disappears.”
The kitchen was now fully awake and they were going about, heating up porridge to take to the Laird, his family and his guests. Moire had retreated to a work bench and was kneading dough to be turned to bread or buns. With the hand fasting being only two days away, Mistress Eubh needed every hand on deck to hasten with the preparation and although Ailbeart had no specific job in the kitchen, he took care of the little odd jobs they couldn't afford to do. With him missing, their workload would increase significantly, that was what worried Mistress Eubh.
“But ye'll find ‘im…” Mistress Eubh said anxiously.
“Can we not ask the guards to keep an eye out for him? I feel that they'll find him quicker than me.” Lili didn't share in Mistress Eubh's worry. Ailbeart had so many hiding places that it would be almost impossible to find him unless he returned or wanted to be found.
“What if he is found in the Laird's keep? Lady Caitir promised a whipping tae the next servant wanderin’ the halls without cause. I'd like ter give the lad a gude hidin’ myself. Take the dog wi’ ye, ye'll find him easier that way.”
It took a while to persuade Wee Laird to abandon his meal and follow her, even so his eyes kept looking back longingly at his half-eaten meal.
“It's nothing but bones left, it'll choke ye.” Lili told him as she tried to imagine where Ailbeart could be hiding.
Although it wasn't like him to keep away from the kitchen for a long period, it wasn't unusual. Sometimes when Mistress Eubh was too harsh with her scolding or he was feeling off, he would often disappear for hours but nothing more than a night. He was aware of the stress Mistress Eubh was under and although he had many faults, he wouldn't torture her with his absence. Something must have really gone wrong. He could be lying in one of his secret places with a broken leg or worse. Or he could have fallen from the walls he liked scaling and broken his neck.
Lili banished those thought from her mind. Ailbeart was fine. He was her only friend in the castle. The only one she could sincerely talk to without fear of him gossiping to others. After all he had found her in the loch and they were both outsiders. Ailbeart was the sole survivor of a bandit raid on their small clan. A boy of five then, he had wandered through the woods for days, wounded from a blow to the head and starving. The chief's hunting party had come across him in the woods and that was how he came into the castle. There was a rumour that the blow he had received to his head when he was a child had made him a bit slow and prone to daydreaming, so they let him be most times. If Ailbeart dies, Lili would be left adrift.
The entire outer bailey was awake now. As Lili passed through the hedges and into the courtyard before the inner bailey's gate, she could hear the ringing of hammer on steel coming from the smithy and the rumblings of wheels. She saw two familiar figures bearing huge lumpy sacks and making their way through the massive gatehouse and into the crowding courtyard. It was the chandler Samuel and his apprentice, Rob.
Lili waved at them thinking to ask them about Ailbeart.
“Mistress Eubh wants new candles for the Great Hall,” the Chandler informed her. “Has us workin’ hours.” He shook his head ruefully. “Canna wait for a time when there was no hand fasting tae prepare for.”
“’Twill soon be over,” Lili said sympathetically. “Have ye seen Ailbeart?”
“The mooncalf?” said Rob with a smirk Lili did not like.
Lili felt a surge of annoyance towards the apprentice.
“Ailbeart,” she said. “Have ye seen him? Mistress Eubh has been looking for him. He hasn't been seen since yesterday.”
Samuel scratched his beard distractedly. “Aye, I did. But only for a moment. He was talking ter Father Colum. If ye are lookin' for the lad, ye should go see Father Colum.”
“Thank you. Come on, Wee Laird.”
The dog did follow but not before he snapped playfully at Rob's heels. The boy jumped in fright, dropping his sack of candles and Lili hid a smile.
“Good boy,” Lili said to him.
Father Column saw Ailbeart last yesterday as well. The boy had come for his confession, a rather odd thing, and then he left but to where the priest had no idea. Although Lili was curious as to what he had confessed, she had an idea what it was about and thanked the father.
“Seems like we'll have to search the inner bailey then,” Lili said to Wee Laird with a sigh, “and hope the lady Caitir is in a fair mood when she catches us.”
Wee Laird whined in response, a mournful look in his eyes. He turned it towards her.
“Ye canna be hungry again. Alright. I'll feed ye after we find Ailbeart, a big haunch of meat.”<
br />
Wee Laird slobbered at that and Gabe a big woof! of acceptance. Lili chuckled.
“Now where could your master be.”
The garden in the inner bailey was a sure place that Ailbeart could be but how would she get there without being noticed? She has no skill of slinking about the castle like Ailbeart and no knowledge of secret places to pass unseen. But he might not be in the garden and she could waste time getting there and getting out.
“Where else could he be? The garden. The library. And... The Ràild tower. Yes! He'll be there.” The tallest tower in the castle and the one place everyone was scared to go into for the fear of the ghost of the former blood thirsty chief. Everyone except Ailbeart and her.
They were under the stone span that joined the refectory with the main body of the chapel. The little yard in the shadow of the span was full of oak trees and heather, and if she looked up past the stone walkway she could see the jagged thrust of Ràild Tower, hulking above the other building like a grey stone giant hunkered over.
While there was no specific rule about going into the tower with or without cause, with everyone's fear of the place there was no need to. But it seemed that was where they would be going.
Lili clicked her tongue at Wee Laird and set across the bustling yard with him. The drawbridge had been let down over the moat, and Lili and the dog passed over croaking frogs which Wee Laird eyed hungrily but nonetheless pressed on with her into the inner bailey. No one challenged her, they must have assumed she was on a sort of errand or on her way to play for the chief.
Healing the Highlander's Heart Page 4