by Piper Stone
“Oh my God. Why didn’t I see that in his picture?”
“He looks a hell of a lot different in his mug shot.”
David scanned his memory banks. “Shit, I remember now. Some barroom brawl that got out of hand. He ended up killing some guy, but there was more to the story, wasn’t there?”
“There was.”
“Tell me,” David demanded. “What the hell was it?”
“Mark killed the quarterback. Don’t you remember? The man who died was Wallace ‘Jonesy’ Jones? They were on their way to the Superbowl that year. The two were best buds until they got into a fight and Jonesy ended up dead.”
David shifted against the doorjamb. “No wonder Shannon moved to a place she had no ties. I would too. I’m surprised the Press isn’t all over it right now.”
“Both he and his manager are keeping the truth quiet. There are rumors flying around, though, already that he’s going to try and play football again. I think the proverbial shit is getting ready to hit the fan though. If he’s really playing football again, I guess he’ll want to try and square things with Shannon. PR stuff.”
“Football again? He’s got to be in his late thirties,” David scoffed.
“A bit younger. I think Shannon had herself a younger man. Anyway, he was in a lot of trouble prior to the arrest, significant anger issues. There’s an awful lot of covering up going on, but I’d bet there’s a whole lot more to the story than what’s out there. I think you both need to settle into a locked room and just talk.”
“Shannon must be blaming herself. But for what?” David asked more to himself.
“Well, the scuttlebutt was regarding his wife and Jonesy.”
“Of course. An affair.”
“I don’t think she wants to tell you for the obvious reasons. And Jonesy is black. For a Southern girl, even if it was thirteen years ago, I would guess it’s not a good thing.”
David nodded. People who held secrets and lies were damned. “Thanks for the information. Hold down the fort.”
“Gladly, my man. Gladly. Just remember what I said. We all have secrets. We all have something we are terrified of others finding out.”
David stood silently, thinking about the words. Bruce was right. He was going to do anything to save his marriage, including being the man she needed.
By the time David arrived home, it was dark. He’d driven around the block several times. While he wasn’t a praying man, he did ask whatever higher being there had to be for strength to simply talk to her, discipline her, then beg her for forgiveness for being such an idiot. This was going to be one of the most difficult things he’d ever done.
The house seemed dark, but he could sense her presence the moment he walked inside. Her perfume lingered. As he moved into the kitchen, following the routine he was so used to, he found himself grieving for both of them. He loved Shannon so much and he understood her pain, with regard to the act Mark had committed, more than he wanted to admit. As he eased his briefcase into the chair by the kitchen desk, he glanced into the living room. There was a single light on. He moved toward the banks of cabinets, turning on the light over the sink. The warm lighting allowed him to see she’d spent some time cleaning. His beautiful wife cleaned when she was nervous.
His heart was racing, his mind reeling. He sighed and gripped the edge of the counter before moving toward the living room, stopping short as he noticed one of the hardback chairs was missing. “Oh, Shannon.” The moment he walked into the living room, he exhaled. Seeing her naked, her nose in the corner was stilling. She almost never merely succumbed to the moment of discipline. Even in her state of knowing she was in the wrong, she fought every step of the way, giving him reasons and excuses why she could be a better girl.
Her head was lowered, her hands by her sides and he could tell her breathing was ragged. “Good evening.”
“Good evening, sir.” Shannon didn’t move, didn’t make any attempt to look in his direction.
The woman who pushed hard at everything and anything seemed humbled, and his heart was about ready to break. She needed him to be strong tonight and he wasn’t certain he had it in him. Old fears nagged at him, a gnawing that had been eating his stomach for months. Even the dreams had turned into nightmares, nearly crippling him. “I appreciate your text.” He noticed the chair positioned in the center of the room. Both a belt, a short strap and his favorite wooden paddle strategically positioned on the seat.
“Thank you, sir. I wasn’t trying to interfere. I just…” Shannon’s voice was rattled. “I just wanted to make certain you knew I felt so horrible for what I did.”
“What exactly are you apologizing for, Shannon?” David walked toward the chair, leaning over and fingering the implements. He had to smile. She hated the paddle more than anything. She begged him not to use it. For her to offer it meant she was entirely remorseful. Deep inside, he continued to struggle with what to do. For both of them, this seemed to be a crossroads, one he was unsure how to handle. He desperately wanted to ask about Mark, but knew she had to come to terms with his release.
“For not telling you everything. For not coming home when I should have. For coming home drunk and for…”
Glancing in her direction, he raised his eyebrow as he picked up the belt, running the strand through his fingers. “For?”
“I know you must think there’s something going on because I was so late. I promise you, this is about work.”
“Hmm… Interesting since Bruce saw you kissing another man.” The words were blurted out before he could stop them.
This time she jerked around, an initial look of horror turning into one of understanding she was being disrespectful. Shannon shoved her face back into the corner but clenched her fists. “He took advantage of me, of my state of inebriation, sir. He did.”
“And why did you allow yourself to get in that state? Why? You knew we needed to get ready for the trip. You also knew I would worry. Your initial call was cryptic. Your attitude on the call was worse. Then you came home drunk off your ass. How and what am I supposed to think?” He realized his voice had risen and she was cringing. Exhaling slowly, he dropped the belt and counted to five. Her single moan was a tearjerker.
“You’re right. What were you supposed to think, sir? I was caught off guard by what Jameson wanted and…”
“Jameson?”
“My boss, sir.”
David studied her mannerisms. She was trembling. Because of his anger or her guilt? “Not your immediate boss.”
“No… I mean, not right now. I mean…” Shannon swallowed audibly.
Even from where he stood he could tell she was biting her lower lip. “Which is it, Shannon? Who is this man?”
“He’s on the Board of Directors. I promise you, he was just talking about the work we’re doing and nothing more.”
“But he seemed to think sexually harassing you is all right? Doesn’t he know better?” David could tell he’d struck a nerve. Shannon and this Jameson had a history. He was still debating spanking her, unsure of his anger that was brimming just below the surface. Right now, given his mood, he knew he could use too much force. The last think he wanted to do was hurt her, no matter how upset or frustrated he was.
“I…” Darting a quick glance in his direction, she lowered her head and breathed out. “We had a brief fling when I first started with the firm. Now, he thinks he can lord it over me.”
“Why would he think that?” There was something else she wasn’t telling him.
“Because he’s an arrogant jerk who uses his position.”
David heard a ring of truth in what she was saying. “And you don’t feel anything for this man?”
“No!”
“Hmm… Said a little too quickly. You do, don’t you?”
Shannon shook her head. “No. I don’t. It was literally one night, and I saw it as a mistake. I told him as much and he didn’t like it then, nor does he now.”
“And this just resurfaced again?” David
placed the belt on the couch and picked up the small strap. They’d purchased the thin leather together online. While the implement had only been used twice, the aftereffects were fairly harsh. “Or are there other things you’ve been keeping from me?”
“No, no. He just came back into town for a Board meeting.”
“From where?” He placed the strap on the couch and wrapped his hand around the handle of the paddle, pulling the heavy wooden piece in front of him. He admired the perfectly drilled holes. She’d told him the pain was nearly excruciating for her, but very effective in reminding her when she’d done something against the rules.
“From Miami, sir.”
For some reason, he hadn’t expected the answer. Thoughts of the glossy internet pictures came to mind. Maybe she wasn’t in lust with this man, but he seemed enamored by Shannon. The thought made his stomach turn. “And he’s going back?”
“Yes, sir. He is.”
With you or without you? He wanted to ask, but didn’t. David slapped the edge of the paddle against his hand.
“Oh!” Shannon moaned as she jumped. “Please spank me, sir. Please. I know I need to learn to obey and I know I’ve been so willful with you. I know that. I honestly realize now how much I want to change. I want to submit to you in ways I’ve never even thought about until just recently. I long to just give you full control. I know I haven’t been very good about following the rules, but please don’t lose faith in me or in us. I love you and want us. Okay?”
David remained quiet. Her words were so chilling, so heartfelt. Suddenly, he felt like he needed air. “I… I’m too angry to spank you. You betrayed my trust.”
“Not intentionally, sir. Really. You have to believe me.”
There was almost a sound of utter desperation in her voice. Tears formed in his eyes and David didn’t want to lose control in front of her. He needed to be by himself. “Just stand where you are. I’ll be back in about thirty minutes. Then we can talk.”
“No! Please don’t go. Don’t leave me here. Spank me. Whip me. Do what you need to do, I don’t care if it’s harsh. I promise you.”
“Shannon, I do just need to be alone.” His voice cracked. He was already failing at what he’d set out to do. He couldn’t be the man she needed. There was no way. He was a phony. A fake. He was…
“Oh, please, sir. If you walk away now, you won’t return. I know you so well.”
Sadly, she didn’t know everything. David sighed as he contemplated what to do. “I just need some time to think. Stay here. You are being punished, just not in the way you think you need. If you’re truly ready to follow all of my rules, then begin now.” He could tell she was contemplating and gave her a few seconds before laying the paddle down and slowly walking toward the door.
“Please!”
In a move completely uncharacteristic of her, Shannon raced to him, dropped to her knees and wrapped her arms around one leg. “Please don’t go. Don’t do this. I love you and want this to work. I can’t tell you how sorry I am. I just can’t. Please.”
“Shannon.” Tears slid down his face. He blinked furiously, trying to hold them back, but as they cascaded down his cheeks, he had to fight a gurgling sob.
Shannon nestled her head into his leg, weeping uncontrollably. “I love you. I love you so much.”
His heart was being ripped in two. Clenching his eyes shut, he placed one hand on top of her head. “No more secrets. No more lies. None.”
“No! No, sir. None and I love you and I… I need you so much. I love you and need you and want our marriage to work. Don’t lose faith. Please!”
David held her head tightly and controlled his breathing. Raw emotions poured through him, catching him completely off guard. He hadn’t been prepared for the onslaught of current sweeping through every cell. Shannon, his beautiful wife, the woman he’d vowed to protect in sickness and in health, was breaking down. She was opening the doors to her very soul. “Shannon.”
“David. David.”
He took a step back and cupped both sides of her face. The haunted look in her eyes terrified him and he’d seen a look such as this before. His breath skipping, he took a step back, closer to the door. Her look turned to one of horror.
“No!” Reaching out, she draped her body on the floor, the sobs becoming dry heaves.
Debating for another five seconds, David made his decision, one he hoped was the right one. In three long strides, he sat down on the chair. “Shannon.”
Shannon jerked her head up, the look of desperation turning into relief when she saw him sitting in the chair. “David, oh David.”
“Come here.” He kept his eyes pinned on her as she crawled toward him, her tears black from mascara. She appeared so vulnerable, so open, that all he wanted to do was cradle her in his arms, telling her everything was going to be all right. Instead, he knew she needed him to be stronger than he’d ever been, giving her clear direction with his mannerisms as well as his words. This might be the single most defining moment he’d had with her, and their marriage.
She sniffed and nodded, lowering her eyes as she crawled forward.
My God she’s so beautiful, so trusting. David was shaking as she came closer and he could hear the thumping of his heart in his ears. He wasn’t normally afraid of many things, prided himself on being able to handle controversy and difficult moments. But this… this was almost too much. He managed to grab the paddle, but his hands were sweating so much he nearly dropped the wooden piece. She couldn’t see his weakness, his own personal fear. David continued to pat his lap.
Shannon rose up onto her knees and wiped her mouth. “Thank you, sir. I really want to… to obey you.”
“Do you really? Do you truly want me to be head of this household?” She kept her head down. He very gently took a single finger, lifting her chin. “Please look at me. This is important.”
“I know. I know.”
“Then do you really want me to be in charge?”
A slight smile crossed her lips. She wrapped one hand around his wrist and nuzzled into his hand. “What you don’t realize is that I want more than just to obey the simple rules you laid out for me.”
“Meaning?”
Kissing his hand, she inched closer, a look of adoration. “I um… I’ve thought about more.”
“I’m not following you,” David whispered, but he had an idea of what she was going to say. For her to even long to submit to him was beyond his scope right now. He was a terrible HOH, so how could he be more?
“I want you to own me. I think about becoming your submissive.”
She’d said this for the first time in her life. For him, the moment was like a hard slap. Not only did she allow herself to say them, but he could also tell by the very intense look on her face that she was dead serious. Now he was shaking like a leaf. “Then we’ll talk, but first things first. What you did last night was reprehensible. Do you understand what could have happened?”
“I… but… yes.” Immediately, she slumped.
Now, he felt like an asshole for pushing away her honest thoughts. “Shannon. I’m sorry. I’m in no way belittling what you said to me. Your honesty in what you need, what you desire, is amazing to me.” When she refused to look into his eyes, he gripped her chin, brushing his thumb back and forth across her lips. He turned her head, forcing her to look into his eyes. “Listen to me. I can’t wait to talk to you further about your desires, but we have to get past last night. Can’t you see that?”
“I… yes, sir.” A look of resignation, as well as acceptance, was evident in her eyes.
He could also see a moment of admiration and respect, and he wasn’t so certain either was deserved. “Good.” Easing her over his lap, he rubbed up and down her spine as she whimpered softly. The trust she placed in his hands was phenomenal. “God, I love you.”
“You are my everything.”
“You are my salvation.” Wrestling with his demons wasn’t something he was good at, but at this moment, every vision
from the past, every ugly moment shared with his ex-wife, all his anger was gone. For he was going to be the man Shannon needed, the one she deserved. Somehow. Someway.
“Please God, don’t let me fail.”
Crack!
Chapter 6
They hadn’t cuddled this tightly in months. David’s aftercare was always gentle and loving, but tonight, he was completely different. She’d heard his quiet prayer, the words said with tears in them. Please God, don’t let me fail. The words were so daunting and so telling. As she lay in his strong arms, her leg curled around his, her hand placed over his heart, she listened to the quiet sounds of his breathing and wiped a tear. Shannon was trying so hard not to break down, but given everything that was going on, she was no longer certain about the strength of their love.
She moved her hand away first, her leg second and rolled very slowly toward the edge of the bed, fighting the tears. Finally getting to her feet, she managed to move further into the shadows.
“I was very wrong. An idiot.”
The level of anxiety in his voice was almost startling. “About us?” The words were choked out, barely audible.
“Us? No. About me. I’m the idiot.”
She heard the rustle of sheets, and try as she may, couldn’t get out of the room. David managed to snag her around the waist, pulling her into the heat of his chest. “Don’t! How could you love me? How could you ever trust me?”
“How could you ever trust me? I’m the one who almost threw everything away. Me. Do you hear me?” Turning her around, David placed his hand on the back of her neck. “I love you. I want us. I want this trip and most importantly, I want our marriage. There will never be anyone else I can ever love. No one.”
The conviction in his voice was so strong. The tears in his eyes were heartfelt. She licked the salt from her lips and cupped his face. “And I love you so much. I’m not having an affair with that man. In fact, I don’t want anything to do with him.” Come clean about the job. Tell him. “We need to talk. We need to talk about so many things.”