by Piper Stone
“Thank you.” Nuzzling into his chest, she gave a single whimper. “I don’t know about the job. I guess I’ll have to figure that out soon enough.”
“Is this something you want to do?” Leaving everything he’d worked so hard to achieve wasn’t something he really wanted, but maybe he could keep the company and open a satellite office. That was possible.
“I don’t know. The very notion of not working for a little while sounds appealing too,” Shannon said as she laughed. “Somehow, I don’t see myself as a house frau.”
He couldn’t resist smacking her on the ass. “You’d never be that. Still, I’ll support you no matter what you want to do.”
“God, I love you.” Her hand grazed over his groin more than once. “Mmm…”
They remained quiet for several minutes, holding each other as the waves continued to creep along the shoreline. He was so hollow inside and needed the same moments with his past to be able to make anything right. The problem was, he didn’t have any idea where his ex-wife was. She certainly wouldn’t want to see him again.
“Atonement.”
The single word cut through the darkness. David didn’t realize he was shivering until she wrapped her hand around his arm.
“You okay?”
“Sure.” He was anything but okay. There was no reason to ruin their time together, their shared confidence this trip would help. “Just thinking.”
“What is atonement for?”
There was no way he could answer the question without getting into a seriously ugly conversation. “I think for my behavior toward you, my inability to forgive and let go of things. I’m like a dog to a bone.” His laugh was clipped. Just let it go. Please let it go.
Shannon squeezed his hand. “Maybe that’s enough for tonight. Assignment or not, how about a midnight swim?”
“Now, I like the sound of that.”
Giggling, she pulled away from him. “Race you back to the bungalow.”
“And you think you can best me?”
“In all things.” Giving him a playful wave, she took off running down the beach.
“Spanking!”
Shannon finally looked at her phone a little after three. She was having trouble sleeping. Perhaps the humidity or maybe her nerves were getting the better of her, but she remained on edge. Padding through the gorgeous space, she pulled out a small bottle of wine from the bar refrigerator, a wine glass from the conveniently placed rack, and grabbed her phone before walking outside. The night was beautiful with warm breezes and she could almost see the glow of the ocean in the shimmer of moonlight.
She glanced at her phone and seeing two calls and two texts from her office number, she knew instinctively who had called. Jameson was on the prowl for some reason. The single message was curt, but professional, and the urgency in his voice pattern was interesting to say the least.
“Shannon. There’s been a development. Call me. There is no choice here. I need to speak with you before nine in the morning.”
The message was followed by two text messages.
Call me. You know I need you like you need me.
Need? The arrogance was damn amazing. Jameson wasn’t going to leave her alone. Well, she refused to give in. She glared at the phone before placing it on the deck table. She opened the bottle of wine and poured the entire contents into her glass. A walk on the beach might do her some good.
The moment she walked down toward the shoreline, the sight of the grouping of chairs on the beach was so inviting. A quick glance back at the darkened space of the bungalow gave her a little peace. David was sleeping. Maybe he was relieved she’d come clean, well, almost clean anyway. He didn’t have to know the fact that Jameson was determined to own her.
As she eased onto the lounge chair, she realized she hadn’t even processed Jameson’s comment about owning her. Hell was going to freeze over first. She couldn’t help but laugh. Here she’d said the very words to David. Ownership. How many times had she read a blog or written one? She’d kept a memory stick full of blogs and articles she’d written. At last count, she certainly had enough for a book, but they were more like ramblings. Could she actually be considered a writer in this regard?
Shifting on the seat, she brought the glass of wine to her lips. Maybe she could do just that. Write. Now wouldn’t that be a kick in the pants? She giggled and thought about all the delicious articles she had written. She was a damn good writer. Hmm…
Shannon leaned her head against the back of the lounger, gazing up at the almost full moon. The lovely orb was so beautiful, so alluring. She became mesmerized in the moon’s beauty, the way the warm glow seemed to cast a warm haze over everything, especially the ocean. She polished off her wine and held the glass to her chest. Coming was indeed the best decision they’d made. Tomorrow, they were going to make such incredible headway in learning more about the lifestyle as well as repairing their relationship. Tomorrow was going to be the beginning of the rest of their lives.
Sighing, she closed her eyes, exhaustion settling in. What a whirlwind of a week. What an amazing and terrifying and… She yawned, took another look at the sky and allowed her thoughts to go to a very warm and inviting place, one of David and moments shared… and those… times when he…
He studied her as she made giggling and gurgling sounds until he knew she’d fallen asleep. The wine glass slipped from her hand, dropping to the sand. There was no sound, only a tiny spatter of granules. There were times he was stunned by her beauty, by the way she laughed or talked, smiled at strangers and simply enjoyed being alive. Then the dark moments he’d seen in her had been terrifying. But he was determined to fix everything. Everything. There was little he wasn’t going to do to keep her safe and happy.
Moving from the shadows, he eased over her slumbering body. She seemed so frail in her current state, bare feet and messed up hair. And he’d never loved her as much as he did right now. He was unable to resist and leaned over, touching her face. There were light beads of perspiration covering her cheek. Taking the tip of his index finger, he wiped a drop away, easing his finger to his mouth. He darted his tongue out, licking the sweet salt and every part of his body tingled.
Shannon stirred, her eyes fluttering open briefly. Very slowly her head turned, nuzzling into the lounge cushions. Her right hand seemed to involuntarily slide down from her lips to her neck, finally settling in between her breasts. A single moan escaped her lips.
He couldn’t help but think she was more beautiful in her vulnerability tonight than he’d ever seen her. Leaning over at the waist, he pressed one kiss across her cheek as he brushed his fingers down the length of her arm. Allowing his hot breath to cascade across her sleeping form, the whisper was husky, filled with an intense and very agonizing need. “You are all mine.”
Minutes later, he turned away, walking into the darkness, tears streaming down his face. Clenching his fist, he brought his hand to his mouth. No matter what he had to do, she was going to belong to him.
Chapter 8
“You’re both fighting who and what you really are,” Stephen suggested. He sat back in the leather chair, his elbows on the arms, his fingertips pressed together.
David sighed yet, he nodded. “Aren’t we all?”
“Some more than others,” Shannon said under her breath. While she meant herself, she could tell David had bristled under his calm demeanor. “Especially me.”
“I think you both are.” Stephen’s statement sounded so certain.
“Meaning?” David challenged.
Shannon curled her legs under her and gazed outside. This was the second rather intensive and private session they’d had together with Dr. Robbins and she had a feeling it wasn’t going to be the last. Both she and David remained on edge, disjointed, no matter how many times they’d talked or taken long walks on the beach. Two days after arriving and they were barely making any headway, at least in her opinion. And the damn phone hadn’t stopped ringing. She’d finally turned it off this m
orning. There was no one she either needed or wanted to talk to.
“Meaning…” Stephen shifted in his seat. “That you’ve both been married. That’s very obvious to me. Whatever happened in your previous relationships is truly keeping you both from opening up completely to each other.”
“Yeah, we’ve both been married. Hasn’t half the world?” David’s question was more of a growl.
“But not every relationship ended with as much guilt as either of yours.” A slight smile curled in the corner of Stephen’s mouth. “Am I right?”
Stealing a look at David, she could see a flash of real anger in his eyes. While he tried to mask his feelings, Stephen caught on immediately.
“What happened, David? What is so terrible that you can’t allow yourself to let go with Shannon?” Stephen turned his head and sat up in the seat. “And what happened that makes you so utterly terrified of hurting Shannon?”
“I’m not afraid of hurting her!” David quipped and rose to his feet.
“David, sit down. He’s just trying to help us,” Shannon said quietly. The edge was evident. He was terrified of causing her pain.
David glared at her defiantly and walked toward the bank of open French doors.
“We’re all afraid of losing control, terrified that we will destroy what, sometimes, is so precious in our lives.” Stephen turned his gaze on Shannon. “Shannon, do you feel David uses excessive force when he disciplines you?”
“No, not enough.” The words came easily to her. She’d known from the first spanking David was holding back, as if she would break.
“Tell him what you want. Tell your husband what the woman inside is longing for in a domestic discipline relationship.”
“Strength. Love. Understanding.” The three words were easy for her, the simplicity of their meaning brought tears to her eyes. Why? Wasn’t this what all couples who entered into this lifestyle wanted?
“Listen to your wife. She knows, even better than you, what her body and soul needs,” Stephen said, his voice filling with softness.
“How would you know what my wife needs?” David snarled as he shot a nasty look in Stephen’s direction.
Shannon dropped her head into her hands. “This is what always happens. You run away every time we talk this way, as if allowing me to express my fears isn’t good enough.”
“Good enough?” David snapped, then shook his head as if realizing they had an audience. “There is no right or wrong in this. Isn’t that what you would tell us, Dr. Robbins?”
“Please call me Stephen and that’s exactly what I would tell you, but you both have to come to terms with the fact you’re going to make mistakes. You’re going to have difficulties. There is no perfect rule book of what to do, when to do it, or what’s perfectly right. Only you as a couple know what’s right and not right for you both. But that doesn’t mean you stop or berate yourself. You simply try something else.”
David and Shannon looked at each other. She had no idea what to say.
“And if that doesn’t work? If you don’t think you have the stomach for maintaining the lifestyle any longer?” David finally managed.
“What is it that you both want, I mean really want to achieve?” Stephen asked.
“Balance,” Shannon said without hesitation. “Peace.”
“And you, David? What is it that you really want in your life with Shannon? What do you have to have in order for your marriage to survive?”
David looked from Shannon to Stephen, his eyes full of trepidation. He shoved his hands into his pockets and tipped his head back. “I’m a lousy husband.” Several seconds passed.
“No, you’re not.” Shannon moved toward him.
As if knowing she was approaching, David took a step back, holding up both hands. “Yeah, I am.”
“David. Talk to me. You’ve said maybe five sentences about your ex-wife in the entire time you’ve been married to me,” Shannon reached out for him, horrified when he flinched. Everything was coming down to the past, just like Stephen had pointed out. Everything.
“Just like you told me everything about Mark, the ex-con who killed your lover?” David winced when he said the words.
The words were like a knife in her chest. Suddenly unable to breathe, Shannon reeled back. “You… you’re going to throw that in my face when you… when you won’t talk to me?”
“Both of you need to calm down. We’re finally getting to the crux of the problem between you,” Stephen motioned to David.
“The crux of the problem? You don’t know my life or our life.”
The anger pushing from every pore in David’s body frightened her for the first time. He was so full of demons, so terrified of his own actions. Why? “What did you do?”
Stephen stood and moved between them. “You can get past this. Let’s sit down and really talk about this.”
“The past isn’t going to fix what’s broken between us right now,” David insisted. He turned back toward the door and walked outside, moving out of ear shot.
Shannon moved toward him, but Stephen stopped her, his look imploring.
“I think it’s time that I had a conversation with him very much alone. David is obviously reeling from something in his former life, a moment or a trauma he can’t get past.” Stephen took her hand. “But you’re both doing very well. Very well. Just relax and go enjoy the afternoon. I think we’ve come to a breaking point with him. I also think you’re really ready to embrace the lifestyle, the needs you’ve had buried deep inside for longer than you realize.”
Shannon wanted to believe him, but the single look in David’s eyes was horrifying. “I am. That’s what’s so amazing, I am.”
“Then he didn’t win.”
“David?”
“No, the man who hurt you so desperately, the one who made you question everything you are as a woman.”
She was no longer surprised about what Stephen saw in either her or David. They were raw with emotion, living and re-living a past that had placed suffocating chains around both of them. “You’re right. How sad it took me this long to figure out why I was hurting to badly.”
“Losing sight of trust isn’t as easily dealt with as so many people think. You can’t simply put an ugly past into a neat box. When you hide behind words or actions, they’ll always haunt you.” Stephen nodded toward David. “He’s almost shut down completely. I’m surprised he’s functioning the way he has been with you. Now, go enjoy the afternoon and I’ll release him as soon as I can. I do hope you’ll both come to the couple’s session later and I’d like to see you in the morning alone as well. You’re making incredible progress.”
“Why do I feel like there’s a huge ‘but’ coming next?” Shannon groaned. Even David’s shoulders were tense.
“No buts, just a realization every couple is very unique.”
Shannon nodded, darted another look at David and grabbed her shoes. “Thank you for helping us. I just wish…” Her voice strangled, she stopped what she was going to say before the words came out in a full sob.
“What do you wish, Shannon?”
“Never mind. Just, help him if you can.”
“Shannon, please remember that your demons aren’t completely gone either. You have to face every moment of them.”
The words were chilling. “I know.” As she walked outside into the bright sun and the warm breeze, she continued to feel an encompassing chill.
She kept her head down as she walked toward the bungalow. As she walked inside, she stood admiring the space. This was nothing short of paradise. Dropping her sandals by the door, she noticed what appeared to be a note in an envelope. Jameson was now trying snail mail. She jerked up the envelope and slammed the door. His actions were getting out of hand.
“What an asshole.” Tossing the envelope on the coffee table, she went to grab a bottle of water, determined to ignore whatever he had to say. Jameson wasn’t going to rule her life. She was here to work on her marriage, spend time with her husband an
d nothing else. Nothing.
Ten minutes later, she was basking in the sun on the deck when curiosity was getting the better of her. Her hand was wrapped around the white linen, ripping the lip when a sharp knock on the door startled her. “Shit.” The moment she opened the door, she became irritated as hell. “How fucking dare you!” The odd sensation from the first night swept through her. She remembered falling asleep outside and had experienced a dreamlike state. Someone other than her husband had been standing over her. But that didn’t make any sense.
Jameson leaned against the doorjamb, his foot in the doorway. “You refused to answer your phone or your emails after repeated attempts. What do you think I was supposed to do?”
“Just as I asked you to. This isn’t a matter of life or death, for God’s sake.” Shannon attempted to shut the door in his face.
He pushed the center of the door, keeping it open. “Do you remember the developer I mentioned, the testy one who was offering us up some very rare opportunities if we delved into all his needs?”
“So what?”
“Do you remember?”
“Get out of my doorway, Jameson. I don’t need this right now,” Shannon said through clenched teeth. She longed to punch him.
“Hear me out, Shannon. The entire Board is asking for your help. I’m not trying to waylay your vacation or push you in any one direction or another. No matter what you think, that’s not at all what I’m here for.” Jameson’s eyes were imploring.
“Then what are you here for?”
“Invite me in and I’ll explain why I need you.”
Shannon wanted no part of David coming back from what was turning out to basically be a series of marriage counseling sessions only to find Jameson sharing a drink. Somehow, she knew the arrogant ass wasn’t going to go away so easily. To book a flight six hundred miles away took balls. “No.”