A buff, tall guy guards a small door in the back. He opens the door and says, “It’s good to see you around, Tuck. Are you here to play?”
“Nah, I’m just watching. Make sure you ask the team to keep an eye on Sage,” he says and turns to me. “Sage, meet Glenn. He’s part of my parents’ security team. They usually call the big team when they expect a full house.”
“It doesn’t get better than the Deckers, Hades, Hutchence, and Hendricks on stage,” Glenn says. “It’s a security nightmare, but you can’t stop these guys from doing whatever the fuck they want.”
Tucker laughs and waves at him. He takes my hand and pulls me toward a narrow hallway that opens up in five different directions. “What is this, a maze?”
He laughs and points at the signs on the ceiling. “Eighties, Nineties, Live Music, Switch, and Classic Rock. We’re heading to the venue where they have live music.”
“So, they have one room per decade, but what is Switch?”
“They change the theme by week. I haven’t been here in a few years, but they used to have Elvis week, Twenties, Rock and Roll; you name it, they had it at some point.”
“Sounds like a fun place,” I say, bummed that we’re not heading to that room and wishing it had some jazz.
“Maybe we can come another day. I’ll ask for the calendar on our way out so you can pick your week,” he suggests as we continue our way to the venue. He opens a small door where there’s a staircase.
“This place is creepy,” I state.
He doesn’t stop, just climbs the stairs, assuring me that I’m safe as I follow behind. When he opens the door, I’m taken aback. It’s like a small apartment.
More like a living room with comfortable couches, and there’s a small marble counter in the back. Toward the front, there’s a big window, and you can see right to the stage.
“Tuck!” A young girl with auburn hair screams, before she launches into his arms. “You came.”
“Winnie, I wasn’t expecting to see you tonight,” he says, twirling her around the room.
“Dad and Grandpa Chris are playing. I begged our parents to bring me,” she says and then frowns when she spots me. “You brought someone.”
“Winter, meet Sage,” he says, releasing her. “Sage, this brat is my youngest sister, Winnie.”
“She’s Mae’s aunt?” she asks, looking at me closer with those indigo color eyes, and she reminds me so much of their mother, who is actually sitting on one of the couches, knitting and watching me.
I’m not sure if she likes me or not. The first impression she had of me is being a bitch. That same day, she told me I shouldn’t grieve alone. She suggested therapy or at least meditation to help me with my loss.
During the funeral, she spoke to my grandparents and was pleasant with me. Still, I’m not sure if she’s forgiven me for being insensitive.
“Hi, Mrs.…” What is her last name? Tucker has so many of them that I don’t know what to call her.
“Thea,” she offers then moves her eyes to Tucker and says, “Are you playing?”
He shakes his head. “I came just for an hour to get out of the house and educate this lady in the art of good music.”
His mom laughs and shakes her head. “How are things with Rocco?”
“He’s been in his room since we arrived back from the funeral,” he tells her and looks back at his sister. “Aren’t you supposed to go to bed at nine?”
“It’s Friday night. My bedtime is ten,” she says with a huff.
I want to ask if she should be in a bar. She’s a minor. However, I keep my mouth shut because I’m sure they know something I don’t. Plus, the music starts before I can even ask when the show begins.
Tucker pulls me close to the window. “This is so cool,” he says excited. “They have two drums sets. The right one is where Z is playing, the left is my dad.”
“Keyboards?”
“My cousin, Grace. She’s a genius. If we’re lucky she might play the cello,” he says and then points at the guys in the front. “That’s Jacob. The guy with the bass is Grandpa Chris. He can play any instrument you give him. Porter and Kaden are the ones on the side of the stage. I’m sure they’re waiting for their turn.”
“Why aren’t you playing?”
He shakes his head and gives me a don’t ask look.
“The only way to play is to be on good terms with the owners,” his mom says out loud.
He sighs and doesn’t even acknowledge his mom’s remark.
I have so many questions, but I follow his lead. We watch, standing right in front of the big window. I’ve been to concerts before, but this is different.
Something happens. Maybe it’s the music, Tucker’s scent, or just the warmth of his body so close to me that makes my heart slam into my rib cage. I take a deep breath to steady myself.
“Are you okay?” he asks.
I nod and fan myself. “Is it me or is it a little hot in here?”
“We have some water and sodas,” Winter offers. “We can’t have alcohol up here, or they wouldn’t be able to bring us kids.”
Thea’s phone buzzes. She stops knitting and looks at Winter. “Time to go, sweetheart.”
“But, Mom!” she pouts. “I’m sixteen.”
“Sorry, Winnie. You know the rules.”
“They suck,” she complains and looks at Tucker. “You should take me out tomorrow.”
Tucker looks at me and smiles. “Fine, let’s show Sage the town. Maybe Nana will let me bring Mae. She needs some fresh air.”
“If you need me to babysit her, I have my CPR certification,” Winter says excitedly.
“Is it okay with you?” he asks his mom, who nods. “I’ll text you in the morning to let you know when I’ll pick her up.”
“It was good seeing you, Tuck,” his mom says as they’re leaving.
“Am I missing something?” I ask, staring at the closed door. “You seem to have a strange relationship with your mom.”
He shakes his head and looks at the time. “Do you want to stay longer or go home?”
“You wish you were downstairs, don’t you?” He nods. “What happened?”
“I had a fight with my parents, and I’ve yet to apologize,” he says with a sigh. “Maybe I should stop being so damn stubborn but… When I fix things with them, I—it’ll happen soon.”
He looks at the stage with nostalgia, and I reach for his hand to give him some strength or maybe … I’m not sure why I do it. I just want him to know that he’s not alone.
“I don’t miss the stage as much as I miss playing with the band.”
“It’s okay to miss it, and maybe you should tell them. You guys could come back and play just for fun—when everyone is ready.”
His eyes find mine, and I see it, the unsaid words.
Why is it that we just keep them to ourselves?
Will we ever be able to open up, become friends? I stop, because what’s the point of thinking any deeper? Maybe today, he just needs this, and I’m just happy to come along.
“Thank you for sharing this with me,” I say and enjoy the music and his company.
30
Tucker
“He’s high again,” Nana complains, as she walks out of Rocco’s room carrying Mae.
“How the fuck does he get the drugs?” I ask, desperate. “He doesn’t go out of the house.”
“Where’s Zeke?” Ethan pulls out his phone.
“He hasn’t come around the house since we told him Rocco was high,” Nana reminds him. “Let me quote him, ‘He’s not dealing with his underlying issues. He’ll find ways to get drugs. I dealt, but I don’t think I’m strong enough to be around him. I wish I could stay and help, but I have to take care of number one.’”
I rise from my seat, taking Mae with me, and head to his room.
“Patrick,” I say, as I swing the door open. “What the fuck are you doing?”
“You have a baby,” he says, laughing. “I had one, I think. M
y wife died because of her—maybe because of me. I shouldn’t have knocked her up, and she’d still be here.”
“Patrick.” I raise my voice.
“Sienna calls me Patrick. She says that’ll push away my past and give me a new life. She doesn’t know that’s what the crack whore called me,” he says and looks at me again, and his face falls apart. “Sienna died. I lost my sunshine, Tuck. She was everything to me. I finally found my home, and she left me. I … I should go to her.”
“Rocco, let me help you,” I offer, stepping closer.
“Get out, man. I don’t want her to see me like this. She deserves better. I’m just like my mother, and she shouldn’t be around me,” he tells me. “I don’t want this kid to end up in a foster home. Do you think Z will help me with the lawyer? I need Z, but he doesn’t want to answer my calls. He hates me.”
“Is everything okay?” Sage steps inside the room. Hannah is right behind her, and she takes Mae away from me and leaves the bedroom.
“He’s high,” I mumble.
“Patrick,” Sage says sweetly and steps close to him. “I know it hurts. I miss Sienna too, but it was time for her to go.”
“You don’t know shit,” he says, raising his voice. “She had dreams, and I was working hard to make them happen. I promised to give her the stars for as long as she lived. What the fuck am I supposed to do now?”
“Fight for Mae. Make sure you love her the same way Sienna loved you,” she answers, and my heart stops as I look at Rocco’s face turning red and the vein in his forehead throbbing with anger.
“Ethan!” I shout, getting closer to them, putting myself between Sage and him. “Stop, Sage.”
She doesn’t, her voice is louder, “Sienna would be fucking disappointed if she saw the way you’re ignoring your daughter. She’d hate to see that you’re not living in the home she created for you, raising your baby. A baby you’ve yet to acknowledge. How do you think Sienna would feel if she saw you?”
As Ethan steps into the room, I push her toward him. “Get her out of here.” I turn around before he punches me in the back of the head, but it’s too late. He hooks me right in the left eye.
“You, bitch!” he yells.
“Calm the fuck down,” I order him.
“What gives her the right to talk to me like that?” he says, all worked up, pushing me, trying to get past me, so he can go after Sage.
“Should I call the doctor, security, or do I restrain him?” Alex asks, entering the room.
I laugh and say, “Try your best.”
Alex goes behind him and pushes him to the floor, putting Rocco’s hands behind his back and pushing his head down toward the floor. “Done. Go and check on Sage. And put some ice on that eye.”
“Are you okay?” I ask.
He nods. “Do you think he’s the first guy I’ve had to restrain? I competed with assholes who loved to celebrate by getting drunk or high.”
When I go downstairs, Sage is on the couch, pale and drinking from a mug. Ethan is right beside her. He looks at me and chuckles. “He always gets you.”
“Fucker,” I say.
Hannah glances toward the staircase and asks, “Should I go upstairs?”
I shake my head. “No, Alex is controlling him. I think it’d be best not to push him harder.”
“Okay, when are you guys leaving?” Nana asks.
“We should probably stay,” I suggest.
“No, you made a promise to Winnie, and Sage needs a distraction,” she disagrees with me, and when I turn to look at Sage, I realize Nana is right. Sage needs to get out of here. “My parents are coming over. Ethan and Alex will be here too.”
“Are you sure?”
She nods and disappears for a moment. Then, she comes back with a bag filled with crushed ice. “Here, put this on for a few minutes before you leave.”
“Five siblings,” she says, as we pull out of my parents’ driveway.
We took Winnie to lunch and then walked around downtown, window shopping outside some stores and actual shopping in a few others. They both like to buy accessories: rings, necklaces, and hair pins. Sage promised to bring a few pieces from the bookstore that my sister might like, while Winter promised to make her a necklace. Like Mom, she’s pretty crafty and loves to make jewelry.
“How was it growing up with them?”
“There wasn’t much growing up with them. Piper was six when…” I stop and sigh.
My family history isn’t a secret—my mom published her biography a few years back. Still, I don’t like to share much about my upbringing with strangers, and even though we’re starting to talk more than just a few words at a time, she’s not my friend yet.
Is she?
“We’re not at that stage yet,” I say, half joking and half wondering what’s going to be the progression of our relationship.
She has a boyfriend, and I don’t want to be the guy who is pining for a taken woman.
“Stage?” she asks, and there’s some amusement in her words.
I’m glad she’s relaxed, and hopefully, she’s forgotten all about the incident we had earlier with Rocco.
“Yes, there’re several stages to a friendship. Acquaintances just greet each other and exchange empty words during parties. We’re past that one.”
“How exciting. What’s next?” She claps a couple of times. “Drinking buddies or teasing me like you do with Hannah.”
“I don’t know. Nana is my only female friend, and I was seventeen when we met. Probably our teasing will be different—mature,” I respond, as we arrive at our destination.
She laughs. “Like the way you tease Hannah is PG, and you’ll be teasing me at a rated R level?”
As I turn off the engine and I look at her. “That’s a possibility. If I like you enough, I might crank it up to MA—only for mature audiences.”
She’s still chuckling as we walk toward the door. “Thank you for today. I just wanted to help Mae. Rocco … he needs help.”
“We’re trying our best. I’ve yet to learn how the fuck he’s getting his fix. I have to check with the security guys.”
“I might look through my catalog and see if I can find a book to help us,” she suggests.
“Maybe I should take you back home tomorrow,” I say, looking at her old car. “You shouldn’t be driving that car across states.”
“It’s a good car,” she protests.
“Well, from now on, you have to call us, so we can fly you back and forth. It’ll save you some time, and we won’t worry about you.”
Her big eyes travel over my face, landing on my lips. She smiles and pushes a hand through her auburn hair. I’m at a loss for words. There’s so much I want to tell her, but also so much I want to hold, because this can’t be going anywhere.
My life is a fucking joke right now. So even when I want to bring a hand to her face, cradle her cheek in my palm, and feel her soft skin as I kiss her lips, I don’t act.
“What time do you want to leave tomorrow?” I ask, pushing away my need and using my head for once.
“I was planning on leaving after dinner,” she offers. “Maybe earlier, if that doesn’t work for you.”
Knowing she’s staying another day feels right. We have another day with Aunt Sage. I’ll probably volunteer to stay with Mae while Alex and Nana get out of the house.
Hopefully, I can persuade someone to come and help me take care of Rocco. After his stunt, I’m not sure if Sage is safe around him.
31
Sage
The next morning, I wake up to the smell of fried bacon. I slept through the night. If Mae woke up while I was out, I didn’t hear her. It’s the first time in a long time that I go to bed after midnight.
I always like to read before I fall asleep. Last night, I followed my usual routine, except, instead of reading in bed, I went to the music room where Hannah, Tucker, Ethan, and Rocco played music for a long time.
They’re so talented. I wouldn’t have thought that what the
y played was brand new music or that they’re recording it. Hannah agreed to write some lyrics for it.
Ethan promised to drag Zeke to the studio so they could add the drums. Rocco remained silent and only played along. He didn’t speak at all.
Once Alex said, “It’s time to go to bed,” he went to his bedroom.
I send a quick prayer to God and to Sienna that, yesterday, he hit rock bottom, and he’s going to get better.
When I arrive at the dining table, everyone, including Rocco, is already eating breakfast. He looks different. Or maybe the same as he used to look before Sienna died.
“Good morning,” I greet everyone.
“Morning, sleeping beauty,” Tucker says, handing me a plate. “Coffee, tea, or juice?”
“Coffee,” I say, looking at the kitchen counter where they have serving plates with bacon, waffles, eggs, and fruit. “This is better than a restaurant.”
“Did you think I was joking when I said they should open an inn?” Tucker places a mug with coffee on the table. “Sugar, crème, milk, or dark?”
“In the mornings, I always drink my first cup black, the second with some milk and a teaspoon of brown sugar. After ten, I only drink tea—with a teaspoon of honey,” I tell him, and I’m not sure why I’m giving him more than he asked for.
Embarrassed by my answer, I pretend I didn’t speak and grab some bacon and fruit.
“We’re visiting my parents,” Hannah announces. “Are you going to Sunday family dinner, Tuck?”
“No, I’ll cook something for us. Sage isn’t leaving until eight—I’m taking her back,” he states, then looks at me. “Is that a good time?”
I nod in response.
“The fridge has everything,” Alex says.
“Except sausage,” Nana adds with disappointment.
Tucker and Ethan make gagging noises.
“Ugh, you two need to grow up,” she says exasperated.
“We?” Tucker says, offended. “You’re the one telling us your man didn’t give you sausage for breakfast.”
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