by Tyler, Q. B.
“Hey, what is it?” I press my lips to his shoulder and he wraps an arm around me before pressing his lips to my temple.
“This is what caused so many of our problems before and I’m just wondering if you’re ready to go back down this road right away?”
“Well, no…I don’t know.” I tell him, and I’m honestly not sure. I’d suffered through so much loss already, and I don’t want to jump back down this rabbit hole without having the facts about what my body can handle. “But if we’re not, then maybe we should consider using condoms or I can go back on the pill…”
“Maybe we need to go see someone?” He pulls me into his lap and I see the sincerity radiating from him as his gaze locks with mine. “I don’t want to put us through,” he pauses, “whatever we went through. I can’t bear to go through it again. I can’t lose you again.”
I am such a fucking asshole.
It’s been a week and I haven’t told Olivia that I have my memory back. I’ve just been pretending that nothing has changed. That everything is fine. Well, better than fine because Olivia and I have been inseparable in every way possible the last few days. I’ve tried to keep her at arms’ length while I figure out how to tell her the truth, but then in my clearer head, I remembered what my wife was doing in our time apart, and I’ve been feeling possessive ever since.
Fucking David.
I just want some time with her before I tell her the truth. A truth which would lead to having to dig up everything that happened while we were apart. I knew talking about Amanda would hurt her, and it was the last thing I wanted to do. Amanda had truly just been a mistake. A woman I slept with in a weak moment.
More than once, my subconscious sneers.
After the initial time, that set our separation in motion, I was devastated over losing Olivia and Amanda was there. She let me use her to try and fill the void. It was wrong and stupid and pathetic, and it happened way fewer times than I’m sure Olivia imagines, but I was drowning in self loathing and pity and frustration as well as still mourning our miscarriages and I just wanted a moment where I didn’t hate myself or my life.
Amanda did provide that moment of peace.
Before the shame that came with sleeping with her overwhelmed me further.
We weren’t dating or living together. I never promised her more. I called her when I was drunk and lonely and she listened to me go on about Olivia. She listened to me cry over being estranged from the other half of me. She let me be sad over everything we’d been through the past year. But I’d been transparent with her, which is why I was furious to hear what she had to say to Olivia. Not to mention saying that I loved her?
And of course, because I’m a pussy, I couldn’t refute all of this yet.
I tried to tell her once a few days ago. We’d just made love and she was sleepy and warm and cuddling against my side under the low lighting of our room. The words “I remember” were on the tip of my tongue when I heard her whisper my name and then the gentle sound of her breathing.
I thought about waking her up and confessing everything, but I couldn’t bring myself to do it. I knew there was so much we had to work through once I told her I remembered everything and after six months of being apart from the other half of me, I was relishing in reconnecting.
I push a hand through my wet hair aggressively as tension builds in my body. I begin rinsing the rest of the shampoo from my hair when I sense that I’m not alone. I open my eyes, blinking them several times and see a figure on the other side of the glass. Instantly I feel the tension leaving my body. I wipe the condensation from the glass, clearing some of the fog to see Olivia leaning against the sink, giving me a sinful smirk. She’s still in her clothes from work, a tight pencil skirt that had me rubbing my cock the second she left this morning and a light blue blouse that makes her skin glow. Her lips are nude, but are painted with something glossy that makes me want to shove my cock between them. I open the door slightly and give her a lascivious grin as she does the same to my naked body. I watch as her nipples poke through the silky fabric and I want nothing more than to suck them into my mouth. “Why don’t you quit staring and get your gorgeous ass in here?” I ask her as I run my hand up and down my shaft.
She shakes her head as she bites her lip. “We’re getting drinks with Lys and Wren, remember?” I groan as I shut off the water and make my way out of the shower. Drops of water fall from my body and I watch as Olivia follows the trails of water slide down and drip down my cock.
“Oh really? Because you’re looking at me like you have no intentions of going anywhere tonight.” I take a step closer to her and grab her jaw and rub my thumb over her pouty lips. She kisses the pad of my thumb leaving traces of her lipstick and gives me a devilish smile.
“Later, I want that…in my mouth.” She reaches down, running her hand up and down my cock once before letting go and gliding out of the room like she hadn’t just sent me from six to midnight.
“Tease!” I call after her as I grab a towel from the rack and wrap it around my waist. I follow her back into our bedroom and watch as she slides her skirt down her legs and pulls her blouse over her head leaving her in a tiny thong and a lace bra that she’s pulling off her chest and instantly I need my hands on her. It’s as if I can’t get enough of her after the six months of being apart.
“Olivia.” Her name rumbles in my chest and it sounds like a low growl as it leaves my lips. She yelps and turns around and I’m on her instantly, pulling her into a deep kiss as my hand finds her nipple. “Call Alyssa and tell them we’re going to be a little late.”
“But…”
“Now.”
“So are you ready for the Hamilton Inquisition?” Olivia asks as we sit in the back of our Uber.
I chuckle, thinking about our well meaning but very nosy friends that are bound to have a lot of questions about Olivia and me getting back together. Especially Alyssa. I sigh thinking about the bodily harm I’m sure she’ll threaten if I hurt her best friend again. “If you can handle Alyssa, I can handle Wren.”
“Oh God.” She laughs as she rubs her forehead. “Alyssa means well, Bennett. She cares about me.”
“So do I, baby,” I tell her. “No one needs to protect you from me.” She twists her mouth and I catch the glistening of her eyes. I pull her closer to me and press a kiss to the back of her ear. “I’ll protect your heart better this time, I promise.”
She looks up at me and kisses my lips gently, sliding her tongue against mine once before pulling away. “I believe you, Clarke. I trust you.”
We beat Alyssa and Wren to the restaurant despite our slight delay because those two were notoriously twenty minutes late for everything where Olivia and I were always five minutes early. I slide her jacket off of her and take a minute to let my eyes rove over her. She was wearing a black dress that falls off her shoulders and comes down just below her knees, with the sexiest pair of heels that I can’t stop picturing wrapped around my waist as I fuck her later.
She takes her seat and I move my chair slightly closer to hers so I can touch her. Just like it’s always been. If Olivia and I are in the same room we are touching in some way. It’s as if our connection is magnetic somehow. I press my lips to the bare skin of her shoulder, letting my tongue dart out to taste her and she squirms in her seat which makes me hard in my slacks. Turning Olivia on does nothing but turn my cock to granite, as if it knows it needs to be inside her. “You are the sexiest woman in this restaurant. Every man in here wants to be me right now.” I twirl one of her black wavy strands around my finger before tucking it behind her ear.
I look around the room and sure enough I catch the gaze of a few men raking their eyes appreciatively over my wife. She looked breathtakingly gorgeous and I can’t resist the smug grin from sliding across my face telling them, she’s mine. I’m no stranger to putting men in their place and after being separated, I’m more than ready to stake my claim over my wife if someone looks at her sideways.
She turns
towards me and immediately her hand finds her hair. “And you’d do well to remember that,” she sasses and pecks my lips. I’m about to respond with a cheeky comment of my own when I hear a gasp. I turn towards the source to see Alyssa staring at us, with her jaw almost on the floor and Wren staring at us with the largest grin on his face.
“Oh My God.” She darts around the table and pulls Olivia into her arms. “What? How? When?” Her eyes are wide and I’m fairly certain she hasn’t blinked once since she approached the table.
“One question at a time, babe.” Wren chuckles as they take the seats across from us.
“You’re kissing, you’re…clearly fucking,” she says as she looks around the restaurant. “Okay, I need a drink.” Her eyes find mine and then move back to Olivia. “Liv.”
“Lys,” She gives her a pointed look, which I know means now is not the time, “everything’s fine.”
“How did this happen? It’s been like two weeks.”
“We reconnected,” I interject. This was what I was afraid of. Alyssa getting in my wife’s mind and making her listen to reason. Reason being, I had hurt Olivia. I may not have single handedly ruined our marriage, but I was certainly the final nail in our coffin. Olivia knew that. But I also know that she and I have been shut off from the outside world in this carnal bubble, and Alyssa could be just the person to pop it.
“How can you reconnect when you don’t even remember what caused the disconnect in the first place?” And this is where things were about to get messy.
“Lys, baby, now isn’t the time. Let’s just be happy that our best friends are working towards reconciling.” Wren rubs her back in an attempt to rein in her temper, but I can see she’s not prepared to let this go.
She opens her mouth to continue when our server interrupts, and I think a silent thank you for the intrusion. After we’ve gotten our drinks, the table is tense and quiet as Alyssa stares at us over the rim of her glass of her vodka martini eyeing us. She sets her glass down, and some of the liquid sloshes out with the force.
“Do you know what you did to her?”
“Alyssa…” My arm is still resting on the back of Olivia’s chair so I feel her tense next to me.
I clear my throat before setting down the Hendricks and lime I’d ordered much to Wren’s irritation over consuming alcohol in my ‘condition.’ “I do, Alyssa, and I very much appreciate you having Olivia’s best interest at heart, but I do need you to back off.”
“Easy for you to say, you think everything is perfect between you two.”
“Olivia has been very clear on what happened between us.” My eyes flit to Wren, urging him to help but he just narrows his gaze slightly at me before turning to Olivia. He puts his drink to his lips and I scowl at the thought that he is literally no help.
“Really? Because I doubt she knows why you stayed with that God awful skank.” She snorts. “It’s certainly not like you do.”
“Alyssa. Bathroom.” Olivia stands, and I reluctantly let her go, though I grab her hand as she tries to leave the table and tug her closer to me as I stand up as well, and press my lips to hers. It’s not an obscene kiss, but it’s still full of the passion our kisses always have. It still crackles between us when we pull apart. Her eyes flutter open and a dreamy smile floats across her face. “What was that for?” she breathes out.
“I’ve never needed a reason to kiss you.” I hold her chin between my thumb and index finger before pressing another kiss to the corner of her mouth. “Go,” I whisper, and she ushers Alyssa away.
Wren raises an eyebrow at me and I raise one back. “What is your problem?”
“Nothing.” He shrugs.
“What is it, Hamilton. You’ve been looking at me weird all night? What the fuck?”
He looks over my shoulder and scans the restaurant before leaning forward slightly. “You’re different.”
I narrow my gaze, wondering what he’s getting at. “Different?”
He shakes his head. “We’ve been friends for how long now?”
“I don’t know, Wren. A hundred years?”
“Right.” He chuckles. “I know you almost as well as Liv does. But I certainly knew you better in the six months you guys were apart.”
“Okay?”
“It’s just funny…” He takes a sip of his drink and points at me. “That you ordered the drink you didn’t start drinking until after you and Liv separated.”
My heart slams into my chest. “What?”
“I took you out one night, one of the many nights I let you drink yourself into a stupor and all but carried your sorry ass home. You went on and on about how you and Olivia used to make old fashioned drinks together and you couldn’t order them anymore. You had to try something new. Under any other circumstances, I may not have remembered something like that. But I was sober, and you proceeded to throw up all over the men’s room later that night.”
I’m quiet, letting his words sink in because I don’t want to confirm the truth, but I’m also unsure how I can deny what he’s saying.
“Are you just never going to tell her?” His eyes are hard, and for the first time in months, I can see the disappointment in his eyes. The scolding. The anger. He shakes his head and puts on a smile just as I hear familiar voices just behind me.
“Miss me?” I hear in my ear before she takes her seat and I nod, the words failing me.
“Liv and I think we should go to Envy,” Alyssa says as she downs her martini.
I look at Olivia, cocking my head to the side. “Now?”
She nods and the second she bursts into giggles, I wonder if they stopped off at the bar on the way from the bathroom. I lean forward and press my lips to hers, sliding my tongue through her lips and instantly taste the tequila that is not on the table. When I pull back, she gives me a sheepish look knowing she’s guilty and I shake my head. “Everything okay?” My eyes float to Alyssa and then back to Olivia and they both nod.
“Yes, we just want to dance.” Olivia smiles and leans forward, whispering in my ear and slowly sliding her hand up my thigh. “And you know how I get after I drink tequila.” Her lips and teeth graze my ear before sliding back in her seat.
Well damn.
Envy is a nightclub located on the Upper East Side known for its rooftop that looks over the city with the best view of the Empire State Building. I don’t foresee us making our way up with the weather ticking a degree cooler with each passing minute, but I wouldn’t be surprised if Alyssa and Olivia have the wild idea to go up there for a photo once they’re drunker. We make our way down the long hallway and I don’t miss the way Alyssa’s eyes flit to me every once in a while, making me wonder if Wren had shared his hypothesis.
His very correct hypothesis.
Or if she’s just feeling skeptical for Olivia.
We enter the main bar area, and I smile remembering how many nights the four of us ended up here. The lights are low and my eyes scan the perimeter looking to see if any of the red booths are available, but with it being a Friday night, I see the familiar reserved signs perched on top of all of them. I lean down grazing Olivia’s ear and she visibly shivers. “Do you want me to get us a table?”
She turns in my arms and I can see the excitement in her chocolate eyes. God, she’s fucking beautiful.
“No, I want to dance!” She grabs my hand pulling me towards the dance floor, moving through the hordes of people. I’m not going to lie, being almost forty I’m not always thrilled about going to these types of bars, but for Olivia, I’d do anything, and the way she’s shaking that delectable ass of hers as we move through the crowd makes me more than pleased to be here. “We should have gotten a drink first, but I love this song.” I chuckle thinking about my wife’s obsession with Beyoncé as I grip her hips, pulling her towards me and holding her ass against my groin, hard.
I push her hair to the side exposing her neck and let my tongue dart out to taste the sweat clinging to her skin already. She sways to the seductive beat, pushing h
arder against me and running her hands up her body and behind my neck. I grip her hips harder, holding her as close as I can to me, my chest pressed directly into her back. I briefly wonder if she had more shots than I initially thought for her to be grinding this obscenely against me, but to be honest, I don’t give a fuck.
It has been so long since I’ve held her like this, since I’ve felt her soft curves pressed against me as we grind on the dance floor. She drops her hand, bending over, dropping her body completely, her ass never leaving my dick before moving back up. She spins around and puts her hands behind my neck, pressing her body flush against mine and I push my leg between hers, letting her rub her pussy against me and I’m grateful her dress isn’t too short. I grab her ass anyway, both in an attempt to keep her dress in place and to keep her pinned to me as she continues to hump my leg. Her eyes are slightly glazed and dilated and staring straight at me as she continues to move to the sultry song.
I lean down, my lips hovering just above hers as my fingers dig into her hips. “You’re dancing like a little slut, Olivia. You must want me to fuck you here.”
She bites her bottom lip, her eyes dancing with excitement, and I recall all of the times we defiled a bathroom in a club when neither of us could wait to be home after simulating sex on the dance floor and taking too many tequila shots. “What can I say? I’m drunk in love.” A wicked smile plays at her lips at the fact that it’s the song that’s playing and I run my nose down the side of her face, pressing my lips to the base of her throat.
“Are you wet for me?” The song is loud and so is the bar, but it doesn’t stop us from having a conversation and she nods like she’s heard every word loud and clear.
“Touch me and find out.”
I pull back and look down at her, looking at where we’re pressed together, knowing that no one would know if I touched her. If I ran my hand along her slit I knew to be dripping for me. I lick my lips, and she grips my jacket with both hands, tightening her hold. “Touch my pussy, Clarke. Feel how my clit pulses. Feel how I tremble when you touch me.”