by Kelsie Rae
I wasn’t kidding when I said I wanted to give this thing a real shot. Even if we both have to take it slow for our own personal reasons.
Still, I hate how insecure she feels about herself. It guts me. Turning off the screen on her phone, I rest it in my lap and search for a way to convince her of the truth.
She’s gorgeous.
“Do you remember when you were showing me the pictures of Zion National Park in your office?”
“Yeah?”
“Do you remember why you told me you loved it so much? Taking pictures?”
Her lips stay tightly closed, but I can see the spark in her eyes. She recognizes where I’m going with this.
“Beauty is in the eye of the beholder. Isn’t that right, Marcy?”
“Ben––”
I cut her off. “I promise you that I think you’re breathtaking. I’m just glad that these pictures”––I wave her phone back and forth between us––“are able to give you a glimpse of what I see every time I look at you. And I don’t mean the filters or the touch-ups either. You’re perfect the way you are.”
I move in slowly so that I don’t startle her before pressing my mouth to hers in another lazy kiss. “But I’m going to need copies of these pictures sent to me as soon as possible. Think you can do that, Marce?”
Her breath of laughter fans across my face and lights up my dark soul like a damn Christmas tree. “I’ll think about it.”
“Good girl.”
22
Marcy
My phone vibrates as soon as I take it off airplane mode. Anthony set up a group chat when we were first introduced. It includes me, Sway, and him, and it's blowing up with messages.
Sway: We’re almost there! Just hanging out in Taffy. Let us know when you land, and we’ll pull around to the pickup spot.
Anthony: And when Sway says Taffy, she means her car. It’s a white Honda Pilot. Figured it might be a good idea to translate Sway’s verbiage for you.
Sway: OUR car. What’s mine is yours, babe. ;)
Anthony: OUR car. Happy now, Sway?
Sway: Definitely. Especially because we’re texting each other even though we’re sitting side by side.
I can almost see Anthony rolling his eyes in the driver’s seat, but I keep reading.
Anthony: Better hurry up, Marcy. This girl is dying to see you and Little Miss.
Sway: He’s not wrong. Hurry! Hurry! Hurry!
“What’s so funny?” Ben interrupts while assessing my big, dopey grin.
“Anthony and Sway. They’re one of the funniest couples I’ve ever met. Apparently, they’re here, so once we grab our luggage, we should be good to go.”
“Perfect.”
Quickly, I type out my response.
Me: I’m hurrying! Ben and I are just grabbing our luggage. Then we’ll meet you out front.
Sway: Mmmk. See you soon!!!
After making a quick stop at the bathroom, we grab our bags and bring them to the curb outside of the airport. It’s late, and I’m exhausted as I wrap my arms around myself and search the pickup area for a white Honda Pilot that is apparently named Taffy.
“Over there,” Ben murmurs, pointing to my left.
The car is still running as Sway flings the front passenger door open and rushes toward me with open arms. Her pink hair rustles in the wind before she pulls me into a monster bear hug. “You’re here!”
“Hey!” I greet her with just as much enthusiasm. “We made it.”
“How was the flight? Were you uncomfortable or anything? Oh, and are you guys hungry? I know it’s late, but we can pick something up on our way to your hotel.” She continues to pepper me with questions while Ben puts our luggage in the rear of the SUV before guiding me into the back seat. Sway follows and hops back into the front without missing a beat as she waits for me to answer her.
“We had a big meal before getting on the plane, but thank you. As for the plane ride, it went by fast, and was pretty smooth too, so no complaints here.”
“Says the girl who never complains about anything,” Ben razzes next to me.
I stick my tongue out at him as Anthony tosses in his two cents. “Ya know, he’s got a point.”
Gasping in mock outrage, I clutch my chest. “Excuse me?”
Ben laughs and squeezes my knee. “It’s not a bad thing, babe. We just want to make sure you’re comfortable, that’s all.”
“Well, I am, thank you very much.”
“Then we wouldn’t have it any other way,” he returns before planting a quick kiss on my forehead. I kind of love when he does that.
“Speaking of being comfortable….” Sway turns in her seat and stares straight at Ben. “Is there any chance you’re allergic to cats?”
Confused, his gaze bounces back and forth between Sway and me. I give him a shrug before he answers, “No?”
“Perfect. Anthony and I foster cats.”
His head cocks to the side, convinced he heard her wrong. “I’m sorry, you…foster cats?”
“Don’t worry. I thought it was weird too,” Anthony pipes up from the front.
“Whatever, Anthony. You know you love them.” Sway smacks his shoulder then explains, “When the shelter isn’t able to find them any homes, they usually have no choice but to put the cats down unless they can find a foster home, which is where we come in. They stay with us until we can find a permanent home for them.”
“Really?”
“Yeah. When I found out in high school that I couldn’t have kids, I decided to put my nurturing instincts elsewhere and become a vet. It didn’t take long for me to realize how shitty the neglected animals are treated when there’s a huge lack of resources, so I started donating my time to help spay and neuter the animals. Then one thing led to another, and I wound up with thirty cats in my house.” She snickers as Ben’s entire face blanches. “I know. It’s crazy. Don’t worry, though. We’re planning on curbing the numbers once Little Miss is born so we can get into a routine. But right now, we’re pretty packed with cats, and we didn’t want to bring you by if you had any allergies, which is why I brought this up in the first place.”
“I’m sorry…did you say thirty cats?” Ben repeats, still hung up on the number.
Anthony interjects again, “Our record is thirty-seven, but only because two of them were pregnant when they were brought in.”
“It’s chaos, but we have a pretty good system,” Sway tells us as if she’s had this conversation a thousand times before. “Honestly, you probably wouldn’t even think much of it unless we gave you the actual numbers. That being said, I know cats aren’t everyone’s cup of tea, so if you’d prefer to go out instead of coming to our house for dinner, we get it.”
“Honestly, you’ve piqued my curiosity,” Ben replies. “As long as Marcy doesn’t have to change any kitty litter, I think we’d love to come check it out.”
“Kitty litter?” I pipe up.
Resting his hand on my knee, Ben explains, “Cat litter can contain a parasite that causes toxoplasmosis infection, and since you’re pregnant, you can pass it onto the kid if you get it.”
“Really?”
“Yeah.”
“That’s crazy.”
“Don’t worry, though. Anthony lost a bet. He’ll be cleaning the kitty litter for the next month, so I won’t put you to work…this time.” Sway winks.
Enthralled, I ask, “Lost a bet? Well, now, I gotta know the terms.”
“Anthony’s grumpy old cat, Jasper, refuses to sit on anyone’s lap but his. Anthony started getting a big head about it, so I made him a bet that I could get Jasper to sit in my lap by the end of the day. Anthony didn’t believe I could actually pull it off, so we bet that the loser has to clean the litter boxes for a month, and guess who got Jasper to sit in her lap?” She looks over at her husband with the cockiest expression I’ve ever seen. Hell, she’s practically daring him to disagree with her, and it doesn’t take long for him to do exactly that.
“You che
ated!” Anthony argues, slamming his hand against the steering wheel, though his amusement cracks through his icy exterior as he laughs. “I didn’t exactly expect you to bribe the guy with a six-ounce filet of salmon!”
“Worth it!” Sway quips, shamelessly bragging about her success as we pull up to the hotel. “Are you sure you don’t want to stay with us? I feel bad leaving you here––”
“Sway, let them enjoy their vacation,” Anthony admonishes. “We’ll see plenty of them over the weekend, and they’ll still be able to have some alone time to do whatever they want. Besides, do you honestly think they’d want to stay with us on their first vacation together? Call me crazy, but if it were us, I’d want a little privacy.”
Sway covers her open mouth as soon as she pieces together what Anthony is eluding.
“Oh my gosh, I didn’t even think about––”
“I appreciate the offer, Sway,” I tell her. Please stop talking. “That’s really sweet of you.”
“Anytime. Seriously. With everything you’re doing for us, I guess I just feel like I’ll always be in your debt, but I can definitely see the appeal of a little”—she coughs—“alone time.”
My face heats up as an awkward laugh bubbles out of me. “Umm…I’m not even going to address that last part.” I peek over at Ben to find him grinning from ear to ear. Covering my cheeks, I scramble to change the subject. “As for the whole debt thing, I’ve already told you that I didn’t sign up for this to get anything out of it. I did it because I knew there were good people out there who deserved the chance to be amazing parents, and you two definitely fit the bill.”
“And I think you’re one of the most generous people I’ve ever met, but I’ll leave it at that,” Sway announces. “We’ll pick you up tomorrow night around six for dinner. Does that sound okay?”
“Yeah, sure.”
Pulling up to the front of the hotel, Anthony puts Taffy in park then turns in his seat. “We figured you guys could do whatever you want tomorrow during the day, whether it’s sightseeing, or just hanging out at the hotel, or even coming to our place early. Then I’ll smoke some ribs, and we’ll eat dinner.”
“Sounds great. Thanks for being so accommodating,” I tell him.
“Anytime. Let me help you with your bags.”
“I’ve got it,” Ben interjects. “Thanks, though. We’ll see you tomorrow.”
The bags are placed on the curb in record time before Ben insists on carrying both of them to our room after we’ve checked in.
Once we unlock the door and step inside, I catch myself staring at the giant king-sized bed in the center of the room.
We haven’t had sex since the incident, and we sure as hell haven’t talked about it either. It’s been killing me.
I want Ben. I want him bad. Especially after his comments on the plane. I was even tempted to squeeze into the damn sardine-sized bathroom to give it a go, but my insecurities took over.
They always take over.
As if he can read my thoughts, Ben presses his hand against my lower back and guides me inside the rest of the way before letting the door close behind us. His thumb casually rubs back and forth against my lacy top, but I doubt he has any idea how much it turns me on. Such a simple touch. Yet I’m close to combusting.
A lot of things have brought me close to combusting lately.
Damn sexual tension.
“I’m going to call Krista. She told me to let her know when we got here.”
“Okay. I’m going to hop in the shower.”
His mouth quirks up in the corner as he scans me up and down. “Shower, huh?”
“Yes. Is that a problem, sir?”
“Of course not. But I’m going to have to insist you leave your change of clothes in here.”
“Is that right?”
“Mmmhmm,” he hums, the low rumble doing strange things to my chest. “Oh. And did you send me the pictures yet?”
“Why, whatever are you talking about?” I quip though I know exactly what he’s talking about.
Prowling toward me, he pulls me into a heated kiss, sliding his tongue into my mouth while simultaneously weaving his fingers through my hair and tilting my head back to the angle he prefers.
I moan softly against him. Helpless.
When he pulls away from me, we’re both panting before he whispers, “I’m taking this at your pace because I know I screwed up. But just know that I’m ready for the next step whenever you are, and I promise I won’t break your trust again.”
He places another kiss against my mouth, then smacks my ass and retrieves his phone from the right pocket of his jeans, clearly dismissing me. I’d be offended if I didn’t notice the tent in the front of his pants. My teeth dig into my lower lip to contain my triumph as the evidence strokes my crippled ego.
Apparently, I do have that effect on him.
“I’ll uh…I’ll be out in a few,” I call out as he sits on the edge of the bed.
“Take your time,” he grunts in a pained voice.
Laughing, I blow him a kiss. “Soon, okay?”
There’s something in his expression that makes me sober. I can’t quite put my finger on it, but it screams honesty. And patience. And an overall acceptance that has my heart pitter-pattering louder and louder every single second that I’m locked in his gaze.
“No pressure, Marce,” he murmurs. “Like I said. Take your time.”
We aren’t talking about a simple shower anymore. I know it, and so does he.
We’re talking about my insecurities, and how he practically drenched them in fertilizer the last time we slept together, creating a giant mess of self-doubt. Now we’re…we’re an official couple with a label and everything.
And here he is, trying to weed out each and every one of those insecurities. The only thing standing between him and my issues is…me.
I swallow down the golf-ball-sized lump in my throat and reiterate, “Soon. I promise. Tell Krista hi for me.”
“I will. And, Marce?”
“Yeah?”
“I’m serious. Take your time. I’m not going anywhere.”
And my heart melts a little more.
23
Marcy
The next morning, I let Ben sleep in and sneak out of bed to get ready. My hair hangs loosely around my shoulders in natural waves after I wash my face and start applying some eyeliner in the bathroom. I move a little closer to the mirror to get the perfect line, but my stomach bumps into the counter, making me oomph in protest.
Damn giant belly.
I try again and stand on my tiptoes.
Success!
Through the reflection, I catch Ben leaning against the bathroom doorjamb with the softest of smiles painted on his handsome face. I fell asleep in his arms last night. No sex. Just snuggles. It felt nice to be appreciated without putting out first. It felt nice to be appreciated—period. It’s moments like those that really do me in. The ones that don’t feel forced. The ones that feel as natural as breathing.
They give me hope that I’m not the only one falling.
Please don’t let me be the only one.
Pausing my application, I glance over my shoulder at him while praying he can’t read my mind. “Hi.”
“Hi.”
“Can I help you?” I tease.
“Nah. Just enjoying the view. You look beautiful this morning.”
“You don’t look too shabby yourself.” The guy still lacks a shirt, but I’m definitely not complaining. And with gray sweat pants hanging low on his hips? Pretty sure I could die right here a happy girl.
“Seems like you’re enjoying the view too,” he notes with a devilish smirk. “You brought your camera, right?”
I scoff. “Sweet, naive Ben. Do you know me at all?”
“I’ll take that as a yes.”
“And you’d be correct. But are we talking about using my camera for today's activities, or are you offering to model for me right here and right now? Because I’m pretty sure I
could sell photos of you without your shirt on and make a million bucks.”
“A million bucks? Would we be splitting this fifty-fifty or…?”
“Seventy-thirty, obviously. I mean, I’m the one doing all the legwork. You just get to sit there and look pretty.”
Chuckling, he moves behind me and wraps his strong arms around my chest, pulling me against him until my back is pressed to his front. The mirror frames us perfectly and fans the flames licking at my skin.
Is it hot in here?
His lips brush against my cheek as I stare at the handsome man behind me. He closes his eyes and smiles.
“I think you’re the pretty one, but deal. Seventy-thirty it is. On one condition.”
“And what’s that?”
“You asked if I know you at all, and I think that I know you quite well.”
“Oh, really?”
“Yeah, which is why I planned the entire day to cater to you.”
My eyes narrow in suspicion. “Is that right?”
“Damn straight.”
“Is this a trick?”
He laughs. “No trick. Just a chance to prove that I see the real you. So I’m going to ask you this one more time. Did you bring your camera?”
“And I’m going to answer with the same six words. Do you know me at all?”
Pressing his lips against my cheek a second time, he smiles against me. “Damn straight. Now finish getting ready. We got shit to do.”
He smacks my butt for good measure then drops his gray sweatpants to the floor to give me a mouthwatering view before hopping in the shower. I freeze while carving the image into my memory like Moses chiseled the Ten Commandments into rock. Because a naked Ben deserves to be worshipped.