Tipping her head back, she met his eyes. In the beam of moonlight, his dark brown gaze was alive with glimmers of desire. All of the calm repose she’d known briefly scattered, but the surge of sensation fueling her now had a different source. Longing. Curiosity. Recklessness.
But leading the charge was a pure and primitive hunger.
Lilly curled one hand around the back of his head and captured his mouth with a quick but resounding kiss. Beneath her hand, which still rested on his chest, she felt the tremor that raced through him. His fingers curled more firmly against her skull, and his gaze searched hers, delving deeply, reaching into her soul. “Lilly?”
She kissed him again, this time lingering to explore and arouse. When, after several moments, he drew his head back, his breath fanned her face with shallow pants similar to her own. He whispered her name again, stroking her cheek with his thumb. “Is this really what you want? I need to hear you say it. I want you to be sure.”
“Yes,” she said, before she could change her mind. For once she wanted to follow her heart instead of always listening to the voices of reason or doubt that filled her head. She’d earned a night of escape, hadn’t she? And she couldn’t deny the near feverish yearning that pounded in her veins. Her desires had been dormant for months, and now awakened, they roared and paced, clawing at her for release. “Oh, yes,” she repeated and tugged him close for another kiss.
Dave wrapped his arms around her, rolling to his back so that her body stretched along the length of him. She closed her eyes, savoring the feeling of being held against the strength and sinew of his taut frame. She pleasured in the evidence of his arousal, wiggling her hips to entice him more. He answered with a low growl and squeezed her bottom with both hands, pulling her closer still. Careful not to bump his injured leg, she slid her foot up his good calf. She teased him with her toes while her tongue delved into his mouth with sensual strokes.
Ripples of sweet sensation flowed through her with each kiss, each caress of his hands against her eager skin. When he skimmed his touch up, beneath her nightshirt, the calluses on his palm scraped lightly along her spine, sending fresh sparks shooting through her. His hands continued up until he was coaxing the nightshirt over her head.
She levered up, helping him with her bedclothes, and with a quick flick of her wrist, she discarded it on the floor. She hovered over him, her breasts bare and peaked. He cupped one breast and rolled the nipple with his thumb, while his thirsty gaze drank in her nakedness. “So beautiful,” he murmured.
“Now you.” She sat up, straddling him, and tugged his T-shirt off over his head and let it drop on the floor next to hers. Smoothing her hands over his chest, she admired the sculpted muscles he’d acquired through strenuous ranch work. He may not have been on the job in recent months, but the firm ridges and plains of his pecs and abs reflected years of conditioning.
When she reclined against him again, her sensitized breasts tingled as she pressed her body, skin to skin with his. He shifted her to her back and fitted himself between her legs.
Lilly explored him with her fingers, her lips, learning what he liked, what made erotic rumbles vibrate in his throat. They took turns discovering each other, hands roaming, teeth teasing and tongues seducing. When he hooked his thumbs in her panties, she raised her hips and slipped out of them while anticipation thrummed to her core. Removing his shorts and briefs took more care, so that they didn’t disturb his injury. Then he opened the drawer of the nightstand and took out one of the condoms there.
“How did you know there were—?” She swallowed the rest of the sentence, the obvious answer coming to her as soon as she spoke.
Dave lifted one eyebrow as if asking, Do you really have to ask?
She recalled finding condoms in other places throughout the house as she’d packed drawers and closets. She shoved all the implications of that from her mind and focused on Dave as he sheathed himself and turned back to her.
Lilly cradled Dave in the V of her legs and raised her hips to welcome him. Heat clambered inside her and coiled low in her belly as he joined their bodies with a long, slow thrust.
She clung to him, knowing that something more profound was happening between them than sex for escape. As good as he felt, moving inside her, her arousal coiling tighter with every stroke, the most intense sensation centered behind her ribs.
Without meaning to, against every warning she’d given herself, she’d allowed her heart to become involved with what was happening between her and Dave. Not just in a physical way, either. A spiritual one. Dave had recognized the link and begged her to surrender her feelings from their first kiss on the top of the mountain.
She was even more certain she’d developed a fragile bond with Dave when, in the moments after they’d each climaxed, he propped on his elbows to hover over her and gave her the most beatific smile. Warmth filled her to bursting, seeing the joy and affection that lit his face. She couldn’t contain the returned smile that sprang from deep within her.
And she knew she was in big trouble.
* * *
Wayne woke from a restless sleep, shivering, aching, disoriented. Where was he? Darkness swallowed him. Fecund, nauseating scents filled his nose. He tried to shift, to get comfortable, but was wedged in a narrow space. The walls scraped him. The surface below him jabbed with sharp angles and hard lumps. When he moved, something near him moved, too. He heard the scratching, the flapping, the squeak. A bat? Why—?
Another shudder rolled through him. He was hot. And cold. And his side throbbed.
His mouth felt dry, but he couldn’t form any spit.
He wiggled an arm up to his side, and when he touched the place that pulsed painfully, a sharp jolt of agony streaked through him. He groaned and cursed and gritted his teeth.
Taking shallow breaths, because breathing deeply made his side hurt worse, he tried to clear his mind. He had pain pills...somewhere. But his tumor had never hurt like this before.
Focusing, remembering, took effort, and his confusion was unsettling.
First things first. He turned his hand to feel the rough wall beside him. Rock. He was in some kind of narrow cave. Hiding. Police. Gunshot wound.
One blurry memory led to another. The next racking chill felt like last year’s flu. The fever. The aches. His hand skimmed up to his tender, pulsing side. The wound was hot. Infection.
The woman had warned him. Lilly.
He was ill. Maybe dying. Lilly could help him. But he was tired. So tired. Another chill rolled through his stiff muscles, and he closed his eyes. Just a little more sleep.
* * *
Dave slept hard for several hours until Lilly’s restless tossing finally dragged him out of his slumber. He rubbed his eyes and stretched when he realized Lilly had climbed out of bed. Peering toward the foot of the bed, he found her pulling on her undies and nightshirt. “Hey, you all right?”
She lifted a startled gaze. “Sorry. Didn’t mean to wake you.”
“Couldn’t you sleep?”
“I did, but then I had a bad dream.”
“Understandable. About Wayne?”
She frowned. “No.”
“Then what?”
She hesitated and shook her head. “You don’t want to know.”
“I do. Especially if talking about it will help.”
“I’ll be back in a sec.” She left the bedroom, and he heard the hall bathroom door close.
He threw back the sheets, swung his legs off the bed and clicked on the bedside lamp. A glance at the alarm clock told him the sun wouldn’t be up for a couple more hours. He gathered his own clothes off the floor and was donning his shorts when Maddie jumped up on the bed and trotted over to him.
“Breakfast?” the cat inquired with a meow.
“Sorry, girl. Still sleep time.”
Maddie bumped his arm with her head. “Pats then?” her purr asked.
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Dave rubbed the feline’s cheek and yawned. “Go back to sleep now, okay?”
“What?” Lilly asked as she returned.
“Just telling Maddie that it wasn’t really morning and to go back to bed.”
Lilly chuckled, but the laugh sounded forced. Something was definitely wrong. As she slid under the covers, she worked her legs around Maddie, who’d settled down in a crouch. When Lilly rolled over to sleep on her back, folding the sheet across her chest and closing her eyes, Maddie snuggled against her hip with a purr.
Dave searched for a way to lighten the mood, cheer Lilly up. “I found the tattoo, by the way. Lower back, center. Base of your spine.”
She angled a quick half grin at him. “Yep. See? Never say never. You saw it after all.”
“So...a butterfly. Because it represents hope to you? And...love, you said?”
Her smile brightened, and she patted his chest. “Very good.”
“Hey, I do listen.”
Lilly rolled her head to face him. “When my mom gave me my first butterfly—that key chain from Dollywood—”
“Yeah?”
“She said she wanted it to remind me that even though our dad had gone—he’d left just a few months before that trip—she’d always love me and knew I had lots of good things to look forward to in life.” She chuckled softly. “And then she said, ‘Every lily needs a butterfly.’ I know it’s corny, but...that’s why they’re sentimental for me. Why I started collecting butterflies.”
“And your mom died a few years back?” he asked.
She heaved a sigh. “Like six...no, seven years now. I’m the last Shaw.” She curled her fingers against his shirt and narrowed a curious glance at him. “What about your family? Are they still alive?”
“Dad is. He’s in Laramie. And I have a brother in the army. Not sure exactly where he is. Army won’t say.”
“Are you close?”
He hesitated. “I love my family. But... I don’t know what defines close. We talk every now and then. We’re on good terms, but we don’t call unless we have news to report.”
Her expression dimmed, and she lowered her gaze. “Don’t take them for granted, Dave.”
He hummed an acknowledgment, regretting that her dark mood was back.
He didn’t need to search too hard to know what, if not Wayne, had upset her. “Want to talk about your bad dream?”
“No.” She shifted slightly, giving him part of her back without rousing Maddie, and grew silent.
Seeing how easily Lilly had closed him out stung. He twisted his lips and rubbed his chin. “It’s time we addressed the elephant in the room.”
A wariness filled her eyes, and she angled her head to stare at him. He could see her pulse flutter in the hollow of her throat. After wetting her lips, she whispered, “Helen.”
* * *
“Helen,” Dave confirmed, and Lilly felt a stab of grief in her chest.
Damn it, she’d wanted to avoid this, wanted to pretend her feelings for him were just the result of shared trauma. That once they both returned to their regular lives, they’d put these past few days behind them. But then they’d made love, and she’d felt more alive than she had in years. Something real had developed between them. Something wonderful and terrifying. Something that felt a lot like a betrayal to her sister. So how did they traverse these dangerous waters?
Lilly spread her hands and shook her head. “I’ve been trying to decide what to say to you about this, and... I. Just. Don’t. Know.”
“Lilly, we are the two people in the world who loved and respected Helen the most.”
“Exactly!” She angled a sharp glance at him. “Which is why nothing should have happened between us!” She swallowed the knot in her throat, digging deep for the courage to ask the hard question. “How do I know I’m not just a replacement for her? Are you sure I’m not just filling her shoes? Her sister the convenient stand-in?” His expression said he was galled, but she plunged on. “A rebound to ease your grief or guilt? Because that’s what my dream was about. She was so mad when she found out we’d slept together. So hurt.” Lilly wound the sheet around her fingers. “Dave, I’m sorry, but...making love was wrong.”
“Absolutely, unequivocally, no. To all of the above. You are not a stand-in for Helen.” Sitting on the edge of the bed, he exhaled a frustrated-sounding huff and shifted to face her. “And if making love was wrong, then why did it feel so right to me?”
His question kicked her in the chest, stealing her breath. Because, in so many ways, it had felt right to her, too. She bit the inside of her cheek and rasped, “Don’t say that.”
His eyebrows dipped in consternation, and his dark umber eyes grew sad. He took her hand and laced their fingers. “It’s the truth, Lilly. Not talking about it doesn’t make it go away.”
She shook her head, trying to process the tumult in her head. “How can it ever be right when Helen—”
“Helen is gone.”
She grunted at his bluntness and pulled her hand from his.
He dropped his chin to his chest, contorting his face with misery. “I miss her, too, Lil.” A beat later, he raised eyes bright with passion to hers. “But how can I ignore the fact that I’ve felt truer, deeper feelings for you in the last three days than I felt with her in all the months we were dating?”
She squeezed the sheet in her fists and shook her head. “Don’t put that on me.”
He blinked and jerked his chin up. “Put what? I’m just telling you how I feel. I thought that was what women wanted!” Then, mumbling, he added, “Geez, I can’t win.”
Sympathy plucked her heart. She understood his confusion. Shared in it. Sitting up, she raked the hair back from her face. “I’m just saying... I don’t want you to feel more for me than her. It only adds to the guilt—”
He seized her hand again, clinging to it when she tried to retract it. “I’m not trying to make you feel guilty. But we need to deal with whatever it is that’s happening between us.”
She straightened her back, determined to make him accept her position. “No. We need to put a stop to whatever is happening. We can’t pursue this.”
He flipped one palm up, his expression stunned. “That’s your answer? Ignore what we have together? Pretend there isn’t enough chemistry here to open a biotech lab?”
Pain swelled in her chest. Regret brought tears to her eyes. “I know we have chemistry, Dave. Tonight proved that in spades. But my head keeps telling me that no amount of chemistry or emotional connection is enough to overcome the—” she swallowed the lump in her throat “—betrayal it would be.”
“Betrayal?”
She nodded. “Helen was my sister. She loved you.”
He nodded slowly. “And I don’t want to sound insensitive, but...we can’t build our lives around loyalty to someone who’s not here anymore.”
“Are you saying loyalty means nothing to you?”
“No! You’re twisting my words,” he said, aiming a finger at her. Flattening his hand on his chest, he added, “Loyalty is very important to me. Do you really think I haven’t thought about Helen these last few days?”
She shook her head.
After a moment, he took a slow breath and said quietly, “It’s not like you came busting into town and seduced me away from her while she was alive. I don’t see any betrayal here.” He reached over to scratch Maddie’s cheek as the cat resettled after being jostled by Lilly’s restless movement. “The fact that you’re worried about Helen’s posthumous feelings only confirms that. That’s all that your dream meant.”
Lilly ran a finger under her eyelashes to dry the moisture that had leaked onto her cheek. She flopped back on the pillow again and heaved a sigh. “I don’t know, Dave.”
“I do know, Lilly.” He brushed her hair back from her cheek and traced the line of her jaw with
a knuckle. “And the fact that you love your sister so much and are still protective of her all these months after she was taken from us just...makes me love you more.”
She darted a stunned gaze to his. “Love?”
“Yeah. That’s what I’d call it.”
She released a shuddering breath. “Oh, Dave. I’m...scared.”
His brow furrowed in confusion. “Why does it scare you to hear me say I’m falling in love with you?”
“Because I have feelings for you, too, and it just makes it harder to do what I have to. And because I know how much losing this—” she waved a hand between them “—is going to hurt. It already does.”
“Don’t do this, Lil. We can figure it out.” The heartache in his tone ripped at her soul.
“I’m sorry, Dave, but my mind is made up.” She climbed out of the bed and aimed a finger at him. “I’m going to the other room. Don’t follow me.”
* * *
Wayne woke again, bathed in sweat and as miserable as he’d been in days. The chill was gone, and he knew that meant a brief reprieve from the building fever. The cave was dark. Still night then, but surely it was getting near morning. He figured searchers would start looking for him again at daybreak. He’d heard the helicopters, the voices on the mountain yesterday. If he was going to get help from Lilly for his wound, he needed to get moving before daylight.
And when Lilly had finished treating his infection, he’d take his revenge.
* * *
To his credit, Dave gave her the space she asked for. It was Lilly, an hour later, staring at the ceiling and imagining every rustle and creak outside was Wayne returning, who chose to go back to the guest bedroom. Dave’s deep, even breathing assured her that he was asleep, Maddie beside him. Feeling like a coward, she crawled under the covers and turned her back to him. Just being in the same room with him made her feel so much safer she wanted to cry. How was she going to face the months to come without him? How had she fallen so far so fast with someone so wrong—and at the same time so right—for her?
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