by Ken Lozito
Connor remembered the Vemus soldiers they’d fought on the Indianapolis. They had thick, dark skin, were massive in size, and were extremely strong.
“The Vemus are, in fact, two separate organisms that have formed a symbiotic circle. They depend on each other to thrive. Many scientists believed that the Vemus didn’t show up until they were exposed,” Dr. Kramer said.
“Exposed?” Tobias asked.
“Disturbed is perhaps a better word. Earth scientists weren’t sure, but they couldn’t find a credible theory as to how the Vemus spread so rapidly. This leaves us with two or three possibilities. First is that the Vemus are a biological weapon that was created in a lab and simply grew out of the control of its creators. The second is that chance brought the two organisms together and it spread itself through the food chain to the point that by the time people became aware of its existence, it was already too late,” Dr. Kramer said.
“And the third?” Connor asked.
“The third is the most far-fetched. One or both of the organisms are not Terran based. A meteor crashed into the Pacific Ocean and brought one or both of the organisms to Earth,” Dr. Kramer said.
“And we can never be sure,” Connor said.
“No, we can’t,” Dr. Kramer said.
“Even if we knew the origins of the Vemus, why would they come all this way for us? That’s a tall order for a disease,” Dr. Mendoza said.
“We modified it,” Connor said.
“No, that can’t be right,” Dr. Kramer said.
“It is right,” Connor said, pressing on. “When the Vemus started spreading to animals on land, there was a tremendous loss of life. In a panic, our scientists tried to modify a strain of the virus so it would avoid humans. I have no idea what they did, but I do know that after they modified the virus, it seemed to seek out humans exclusively.”
“You’re oversimplifying what happened,” Dr. Kramer said.
“Am I? I don’t think so, because that’s what the records say happened. You said it yourself. The two organisms depended on one another. One of those organisms was a virus that was capable of rewriting its DNA, but after the scientists got through with it, they had augmented its ability. Instead of simply being able to rewrite its DNA, it could store DNA from any infected host. I can give you a firsthand account of how the Vemus are highly adaptive to situations. I saw them change forms to get us as we left their ship,” Connor said.
Ashley cleared her throat. “The basis for any living organism is to reproduce as part of its life cycle. When the Vemus started targeting humans to the exclusion of all else, it found a species of more than twenty billion throughout the solar system.”
“This doesn’t explain how the Vemus were able to track us over sixty light-years. How does an organism fly spaceships, use weapons, and plan attacks?” Dr. Mendoza asked.
There was a heavy silence throughout the meeting room.
“Like I said, we modified it. Made it stronger,” Connor said.
More than one committee member’s face became ashen.
“Stronger, yes,” Franklin Mallory said, “but some of their tactics denote a lack of imagination. They can execute basic attacks, but they haven’t done anything complex as far as strategy goes. That’s why we were able to stop them before.”
Mallory gave Connor a pointed look, and Tobias steered the discussion to the preparations being made. Connor had already drafted what he thought was the best strategy for when the Vemus invaded, and it hadn’t been well received. He felt as if Wil and Kasey were standing behind him, judging everything he said and did, and he didn’t think they approved either.
4
After the meeting ended, Tobias asked Connor and Frank to stay behind for a few minutes. Connor glanced at the clock on the wall. He just wanted to get out of there. He’d had enough of being around these people for the time being.
When the room cleared, Tobias regarded him for a moment. “When I asked you about the state of our readiness, I didn’t think you’d dash all hope of our survival.”
Connor sighed. “That’s reality. I can’t spread false hope.”
“I wasn’t asking you to, but we need everyone to keep working. We’re barely holding together as it is, but if you take away all hope, they’ll just give up . . .” Tobias paused for a second. “What’s going on with you? You don’t need me to tell you all this.”
Connor looked away. The image of his dead son came to his mind and he could hear his son’s bitter words in his mind, twisting him up in knots. “It’s been a rough few days.”
“I’m sorry, did you say days? How about months or years? We need you focused,” Tobias said.
“I’ll be fine. I just need to get out of here and get some air,” Connor said.
He hastened toward the door and was out of the meeting room before anyone could reply. He hardly saw the faces of the people he passed as he fled down the hall. There were too many faces, all looking to him to protect them. Everywhere he went people looked to him to give them hope, but deep inside he was hollow. He felt he had nothing left to give. He would fail them all and then his life would be over.
Connor rounded a corner and nearly collided with another person. The exit to the building was within sight and he hastened toward it, muttering an apology. He knew his security detail was likely closing in on him, but he just wanted to be alone for a while.
Connor shoved his way through the side exit of the congressional building and took several deep breaths of fresh air. He was greeted by the scent of freshly mown lawns, sliced by paved paths that led throughout the campus. The sun gleamed and the blue sky overhead had hints of green to it that were unique to New Earth. He jogged down a path through the gardens.
He was well away from the building when he heard his name being called, and something in the voice penetrated his angst. Connor spun around and saw Lenora running toward him, her long, thick hair trailing behind her. The sight of her made his pulse quicken, but the respite was short-lived. Connor glanced in the direction she’d come from and saw the personal transport ship she must have used to fly here.
“Is that your ship?” Connor asked.
Lenora frowned. “Yes,” she said.
“I need to get out of here. Can you take us somewhere?” Connor asked.
Lenora eyed him for a moment.
“Please, I just need to get away from here,” Connor said.
“Yeah, sure. Let’s go,” Lenora answered.
They hurried toward Lenora’s ship and climbed aboard. Connor glanced out the window and saw Sean Quinn, along with Connor’s security detail, racing toward them.
“Should we wait for them?” Lenora asked.
Connor shook his head. “No. Just take off,” he said, his voice sounding strained.
Lenora engaged the thrusters and the ship lifted off the ground. Once they were above the buildings, she flew them away from the city. Connor used his implants to shut down the transponder inside the craft.
An alert appeared on the heads-up display, and Lenora glanced at him. “What’s going on?”
“They’ll track us through the transponder. I just need to get away for a while,” Connor said.
“It’s not going to fool Sean,” Lenora said.
“I know,” Connor replied.
He’d trained Sean well, and he had the makings of a great leader. Too bad he might not get the chance.
Lenora took them away from Sierra, and after a few minutes she set them down in an open clearing surrounded by trees. A hundred kilometers away from Sierra and New Earth looked as if it had never been inhabited by humans.
Connor’s heart was racing as he hastily climbed out of the seat. He opened the hatch and his shoulders brushed against the sides as he went out before it fully opened.
“Where are you going?” Lenora asked, following him.
Connor stepped out onto the grassy field, and the soft ground yielded to his heavy footfalls. His breath came in gasps. He kept thinking about how they were
all going to die and it was all his fault. He hadn’t fought hard enough for what they needed. Perhaps he had even started to doubt that the Vemus were coming for them, and he’d bought into what Stanton Parish had been saying. He felt so small and insignificant compared to the vastness of everything around him. They were still so new to this world that there would be nothing to mark their passing if everyone in the colony died.
Lenora’s brows drew up in worry. “You need to calm down.”
Connor swallowed hard. “I can’t.”
Lenora placed her hands on his shoulders. “Look at me. Look into my eyes.”
Connor did as she asked.
“Good. Now just take slow, deep breaths. Do it with me.”
Lenora took a deep breath and Connor tried to follow along, but he couldn’t feel his hands and he was becoming dizzy. His chest tightened and he pushed away from Lenora. He backed away, his gaze darting back and forth as if he were about to be attacked.
“It’s okay. You’re fine. It’s just the two of us here,” Lenora said soothingly.
Connor just wanted to run. He needed to run. He spun around but felt something jab into his back. There was intense heat, the strength went out of his muscles, and he collapsed to the ground. Lenora caught him and eased him down. His vision faded and he blacked out.
He heard Lenora speaking as he began to wake up. There was something soft under his head. He opened his eyes and found that he was lying on the ground in the same field she had taken him to. He drew in a deep breath and blew it out. His heart was no longer racing.
Lenora put her comlink away and came over to him.
“What did you do to me?” Connor asked.
“I used my stunner on you. You were having a panic attack and weren’t thinking straight,” Lenora said.
“A panic attack?” Connor repeated, frowning. “That can’t be right.”
“Why? Because you’re the great Connor Gates? The CDF general who singlehandedly defeated the Vemus?”
Connor didn’t reply. He knew she was baiting him. Instead, he sat up. “How long was I out?”
“A few hours. I called Ashley and she told Sean I took you somewhere to rest,” Lenora said.
Connor stood up and rolled his shoulders. “You stunned me?”
“You were about to go running off. So it was either stun you or chase you through the forest and then stun you.”
“And you left me on the ground?”
“You needed the rest,” Lenora said.
He could think more clearly, but he still felt tired. “How’d you even know where to find me?”
“Noah called me. He’s worried about you.”
“I’m fi—”
“Don’t you dare tell me you’re fine! You’re not fine. Having panic attacks and telling everyone they’re going to die is not fine,” Lenora snapped.
Connor clenched his teeth and sighed. “I don’t want to fight with you.”
“That’s because you know I’m right. Everything that’s happened is exacting a toll on you. You can’t compartmentalize everything no matter how hard you try,” Lenora said.
“What’s that supposed to mean?” Connor asked.
“Wil and Kasey. They were your closest friends. You have to grieve.”
“They’re dead. There’s nothing I can do about that.”
Lenora’s gaze hardened. “They deserve better than that.”
Connor threw his hands in the air. “What do you want from me?”
“All you’re stating is facts—they’re dead. What you’re refusing to admit is that they mattered to you. That their loss means so much to you that you can hardly stand it,” Lenora said.
“I’m sorry. Roaming around Sierra weeping isn’t going to help anyone,” Connor replied.
“God, you can be such an ass. You could teach a rock about being stubborn, and when it graduated from the Connor School of Stubbornness, you’d still have more to teach it. Why is everything black and white with you? It’s either hot or cold. I’m not telling you to run around crying uncontrollably, you idiot. I’m telling you to acknowledge their loss. Accept that they’re gone. You don’t have to be okay with it. In fact, you shouldn’t be,” Lenora said.
Connor looked away from her. He knew he was keeping everything locked up inside. He felt it all pushing against the walls he’d built, but he was afraid that if he let it out, there would be nothing left.
“Wil was right there in front of me. I should have been able to save him. If I hadn’t left him in the computing core . . .” Connor’s voice trailed off.
Lenora came over to his side and stood next to him, rubbing his shoulder with one of her hands.
“He was dying and he was still concerned with the data he’d found on the ship,” Connor said.
“He knew it was important,” Lenora replied.
Connor’s shoulders slumped.
“What’s the video log you keep watching?” Lenora asked.
Connor’s shoulders stiffened, and he wheeled away from her.
“Noah told me you keep watching something that was retrieved from the Indianapolis,” Lenora said, leaning toward him.
A wave of fury washed over Connor. How dare that little shit pry into his personal logs! “Did he say what it was?”
Lenora shook her head. “No, just that you watch the same ten-minute video multiple times a day and have been doing so since he gave you the files. What’s on it?”
Connor balled his hands into fists, thinking how he’d like to pummel Noah for poking around where he shouldn’t. But that would be stupid because it was those same instincts in Noah that Connor had come to count on over the years.
“What’s on it?” Lenora asked again.
A long moment passed before Connor spoke. “It’s my son,” he said softly and looked away from her.
“Your son?” Lenora muttered in disbelief. She walked in front of him.
“He died on the Indianapolis. Our team made it to the bridge of the Indianapolis two months ago and there were signs of a battle having been fought there before. I think that’s where he—” Connor said, his voice cracking.
Lenora looked at him, her brows drawn up in concern. “That’s awful, Connor. I’m so sorry. Why didn’t you tell anyone?”
Connor felt as if he were standing on the edge of a cliff and all it would take was a slight breeze to push him over it.
“Who would I tell? You? The last time we spoke we ended up screaming at one another,” Connor said.
Lenora’s face reddened. “I would have listened,” she said. After a few moments, she continued. “What was he like?”
Connor swallowed hard as sorrow tried to close up his throat. “Young. He looked strong and bitter, with eyes that had seen too much. He didn’t want to record anything. Wilkinson asked him to do it. He was more of a father to him than I was.”
“You can’t do this to yourself.”
“What? Admit the truth?”
“That’s not fair and you know it. You didn’t leave him behind. You were forced onto the Ark against your will. You didn’t leave your son behind. He was left behind because of what Wilkinson did. You want to punish someone, punish him,” Lenora said.
“Wilkinson was just trying to protect me.”
“Fine, then just accept that none of this was fair and there’s nothing you can do to change anything,” Lenora said.
Connor’s eyes became misty. “My son hated me, blamed me for leaving him.”
“You’re not to blame—”
“Aren’t I? I was the one who volunteered to lead the Ghosts, to do my duty.”
“Why does anyone have to be blamed? It doesn’t make any sense. His memory of you is that of a small boy who missed his father,” Lenora said.
“That’s right. A father who should have protected him.”
“You can’t do this to yourself. This guilt you’ve been carrying around is eating you up inside. It’s not right. It happened. You made your decisions and then life happened.
You can dwell on it and keep punishing yourself for everything that’s out of your control or you can move on,” Lenora said.
“Move on,” Connor sneered. “Just like that. Brush it to the side and pretend it didn’t happen?”
“That’s not what I meant and you know it.”
Connor looked away from her and shook his head. “I have to take responsibility—”
“That’s crap. You’re trying to make yourself feel better because you regret how everything turned out. You’re not doing this for your son. You’re doing this as a way to atone for leaving. You’re feeding your regrets. That’s not how it works. Give yourself a break. You can’t live your life based on hindsight. No one can,” Lenora said.
Connor pressed his lips together. “It’s not right,” he said.
“There is no right and wrong. He was about to die. He must have been angry and scared. Did you even consider that?”
“Of course I did, but . . .” Connor said, his voice dying off. The words just wouldn’t form in his mind.
“Mitch Wilkinson was a manipulative son of a bitch. You have this unshakable perspective that everything he did was to protect you, right?” Lenora asked.
Connor jutted his chin out and then nodded.
“In that case, he didn’t have your son record a message so he could yell at you. Wilkinson knew it would cause you pain, but if you’re right about him, I think he just wanted you to see your son. See the man he grew up to be. He wanted you to know that he did look after your son just like he promised you. He didn’t send the message so you could torture yourself. So stop it. You can’t fight the Vemus if you’re weighed down by guilt,” Lenora said.
Connor stood there, allowing himself to come to grips with what Lenora was saying. His brows pushed forward and he felt his body sag. He was so tired.
“Stop pretending you’re in this fight alone.”
Connor was about to deny it, but she was right. How had he come to be so lost?
“I don’t know if we can survive,” Connor said at last.