‘I don’t know if I can do this,’ Quinn said. ‘It seems pointless.’
‘OK, let’s say you don’t. What happens then? You turn up to work in two weeks’ time, keep working for him? Wait until he feels confident enough that he does it again? Or goes on to his next victim; someone who’s not as strong and brave as you are?’
Quinn chewed her lip. Hannah felt cruel, pushing her so hard, but she knew Quinn would regret it if she didn’t come forward, knew she was tough enough to withstand what lay ahead of her. Finally, Quinn nodded. ‘OK. OK, I’ll do it.’
Hannah put her hand over Quinn’s. ‘You’re doing the right thing.’
Hannah’s phone started ringing again. Ethan. He’d be wanting to know where she was, when she would be home, when they could start their holiday. She glanced at Quinn. She’d just promised to be there for her; she couldn’t back out on that. She answered the call.
‘Hey, babe.’
‘Are you almost done? We’re all ready to go.’
‘Listen, I’m going to be a while yet, sorry. Why don’t you guys go on without me and I’ll meet you there later?’
‘Are you serious?’ Ethan sounded irritable. ‘How much longer are you going to be? We’ll just go a bit later.’
Hannah rose, walked into Quinn’s bathroom and closed the door. She didn’t want Quinn to hear Ethan’s voice and be made to feel like she was an inconvenience. Or for it to give her an excuse to back out of this.
‘Quinn’s in trouble.’
‘Why? What happened to her?’ To his credit, Ethan actually sounded concerned.
‘I’ll tell you later. You go ahead with the kids and get settled in the house. I’m not sure how long I’ll be, but I’ll get there when I can. Likely tonight.’
Ethan sighed. ‘If you’re sure. Don’t know how I’m going to manage with all three of them on my own, though.’
Hannah had learnt over the years to ignore comments like this for the good of their relationship, but now she felt like slapping him. ‘You’re a big boy; I’m sure you’ll cope. I have to go. I’ll let you know when I’m on my way.’
She hung up before he could retaliate and returned to the living room where Quinn still sat motionless at the table. ‘He’s pissed off, isn’t he?’
Hannah gave a dismissive wave. ‘Nah, he’s fine. Are you ready to go? I’ll drive.’
‘We could just do this when you get back from your holiday?’ She looked faintly hopeful. ‘I don’t want to cause any more trouble between you and Ethan.’
‘You’re not causing trouble, and Ethan will survive. Come on, let’s go.’ She took Quinn’s hand and helped her to her feet.
‘I’m not as tough as you think I am, you know,’ Quinn said.
Hannah squeezed her hand. ‘Then I’ll be tough for you.’
Quinn hung behind Hannah as they walked into the police station. There were a few people sitting in the chairs in the waiting area. A bored-looking policewoman sat behind the desk.
‘How can I help you, ladies?’
Hannah put a hand on Quinn’s back and motioned her forward. ‘My friend would like report a crime.’
Quinn reluctantly moved up to the desk and clutched its edges with her fingers. ‘I was … I was raped.’
She said the last word so quietly that the woman had to tilt forward in her seat to hear. Her face softened. ‘I’m very sorry to hear that. What’s your name?’
‘Quinn Stafford.’
The woman wrote the name down on the notepad in front of her and gestured towards the chairs behind them. ‘Take a seat and someone will be out to talk to you very soon.’
Hannah led Quinn over to the seats and they sat down. A guy in a grey hoodie with three-day stubble sat a few chairs up from them, compulsively scratching a spot just below his throat. One of his knees was jiggling up and down at high speed. He kept glancing at them, and Hannah could tell it was making Quinn edgy. She shifted her body towards Quinn to partly block the man’s gaze. They didn’t speak.
After a few minutes, a policeman came out from the office. ‘Quinn Stafford? Come through.’ When they both stood up, he held up a hand. ‘I’m sorry, your friend won’t be able to come in while you make your statement.’
Hannah had known this was likely, but hadn’t mentioned it to Quinn in case she backed out. Now, as Quinn looked at her beseechingly, she felt guilty for the deception. She shouldn’t have pushed her into coming before she was ready. The need to be a supportive friend competed with the knowledge that the longer Quinn left this, the less likely a conviction would be.
‘But she’s my lawyer,’ Quinn said. ‘Can she come in if she’s my lawyer?’
The jolt of pleasure that went through Hannah at these words took her by surprise. It had been so long since anyone had referred to her by her profession. It felt good. Really good.
The policeman shook his head. ‘I’m sorry, but we’ll need to speak to you on your own. Don’t worry, you’re in a safe place.’ His eyes turned to Hannah. ‘You’re welcome to wait out here, or you can go home and we’ll call you when we’re finished. It might take some time.’
‘It’s OK, I’ll wait,’ Hannah said. She put a hand on Quinn’s shoulder. ‘I’ll be right out here, OK?’
Quinn nodded, then turned and followed the policeman through the door.
After Quinn had made her statement, Hannah drove her to North Adelaide to the rape and sexual assault service for a forensic medical examination. By the time they left, Quinn’s gait was unsteady, her eyes glazed and unfocused. Hannah had to help her into the passenger seat of her car, where she slumped against the door, looking out of the window and not speaking. Hannah didn’t know what to say. She wanted to ask her how she was feeling, but the answer was obvious.
It was almost seven o’clock by the time they got back to Quinn’s house. Hannah still hadn’t called Ethan to update him on her progress, nor had he been in contact with her. She’d have to make her exit quickly and start driving if she wanted to get there before dark. As soon as Quinn had unlocked the front door, she went straight back to her seat at the dining table and rested her chin in her hands.
‘Are you hungry?’ Hannah asked. ‘Do you want me to make you something for dinner before I go?’
Quinn shook her head. ‘I can’t eat.’
‘A cup of tea, then?’
She shook her head again.
Hannah sat down at the table with her. ‘You did the right thing. You know that, don’t you?’
Quinn shrugged listlessly.
‘Can I call your mum?’ Hannah suggested.
‘No! God, no. I can’t tell her … not yet, anyway.’
‘I don’t think you should be on your own tonight.’
‘I’ve been on my own for a long time, Hannah.’
These words made Hannah want to cry. ‘What will you do tonight?’
Quinn shrugged again. ‘Dunno. Watch a rom-com on Netflix, that’ll cheer me up.’ She gave a barking sort of laugh.
Hannah studied her, but she refused to make eye contact. ‘Well, if you’re sure.’
‘I’m sure.’ Quinn flicked a hand at her. ‘Go! Be with your family.’
Hannah stood up and bent to kiss the top of her friend’s head. ‘Take care of yourself, OK? Call me if you need me.’
‘I’m fine. Go!’
Hannah reached the door and had her hand on the doorknob when she turned for a last look at Quinn. She sat very still at the table, her hands in her lap, staring straight ahead, her eyes unseeing. If Hannah came back tomorrow, Quinn would still be there, in that same spot, in that same position.
‘Come with me,’ Hannah said.
Quinn’s eyes focused in on her. ‘What?’
‘Come to the beach house with me.’ Hannah crossed the room back to the table. ‘You’ve got two weeks off work. Get away for a week, take your mind off things.’
Quinn shook her head. ‘I can’t. I don’t want to get in your way.’
I don’t want to a
nnoy Ethan, she didn’t say, but the meaning was clear in her tone.
‘Don’t be silly. The house is huge. It’s got five bedrooms and one of them is downstairs with its own living area. You can spend as much or as little time with us as you want.’
‘But it’s your family time,’ Quinn said.
‘I’m around them twenty-four hours a bloody day – you’ll be helping me out. If I’m looking after you, Ethan will have to pick up the slack with the kids, and I know that’ll make you happy.’
The ghost of a smile touched Quinn’s lips.
‘Go on,’ Hannah said. ‘Go and pack, I’ll wait.’
Finally, Quinn stood up. As she passed Hannah, she touched her arm. ‘Thank you,’ she said softly.
While she was in her room unpacking her bag for Melbourne and re-packing it for Carrickalinga, Hannah sent a text to Ethan.
I hope you don’t mind, but I’m bringing Quinn with me. She can stay in the downstairs bedroom. She’s really fragile and I don’t want to leave her alone. We’ll be on our way in five minutes. H x
She didn’t wait for a reply.
CHAPTER EIGHT
QUINN
As soon as they’d stepped into the Carrickalinga beach house and walked up the stairs to the main living area, Quinn could tell Ethan was pissed off.
‘We finally made it!’ Hannah went over to kiss the kids, who sat in a row on the couch in their pyjamas, watching an animated movie. ‘I’m exhausted!’
Her eyes darted nervously to Quinn; no doubt she felt guilty for complaining in front of her. Despite Quinn’s initial reluctance, and Ethan’s obvious annoyance, she was glad she’d given in to Hannah and come here with her. With every kilometre she’d put between her and Simon, she’d felt more herself. With a few days to clear her head, she’d be totally fine by the time she got home. She’d finally responded to Amal’s increasingly alarmed texts on the way here, telling her something had come up and she’d reschedule the holiday soon. Maybe she’d even be up for it by next week.
‘Hi, Quinn,’ Ethan said with a smile that didn’t reach his eyes. ‘I hope everything’s OK.’
She couldn’t bring herself to address this statement. ‘Thanks for letting me stay with you guys. I’ll keep out of your way.’
‘No problem.’ He glanced at his wife.
‘I’ll probably go home in a couple of days,’ she said.
‘You should stay for the whole week,’ Hannah said.
Quinn made a noncommittal noise and went over to join the children on the couch. At least they wouldn’t look at her like she was damaged goods. ‘Pretty good holiday house, hey kids?’ she said.
‘We got an Xbox for Christmas!’ Jet shouted right in her ear.
Sam immediately began to tell her how he’d been trying to teach Jet how to play Minecraft, while Grace climbed into her lap and regaled her with the entire list of Christmas presents she’d received, and Jet tried to yell over the top of both of them, all at the same deafening pitch. Quinn had no idea why kids had to be so loud when the person they were talking to was mere inches from them. But there was a kind of comfort in their chaos as well; she allowed their rowdy enthusiasm to drown out the images that kept parading through her head, all the little details that had started to come back to her since she’d gone through it all with the police.
‘Hey, guys, leave Quinn alone, will you?’ Hannah said. ‘She’s had a big day.’
‘They’re fine, Hannah, let them go,’ Quinn said.
‘Well, Grace should be in bed by now anyway,’ Hannah said.
‘I’ve been trying!’ Ethan said irritably. ‘But I don’t know how I’m expected to get them all to bed on my own.’
‘Doesn’t seem to be an issue when I do it five nights a week,’ Hannah snapped.
Quinn stood up, lifting Grace with her and swinging her onto her hip. ‘How about I take Grace to bed and read her a book? Would you like that, Gracie?’
The child nodded vigorously, her soft hair tickling Quinn’s face. ‘I need to do a poo first,’ she pronounced.
‘OK, we might let Mum handle that one, hey?’ Quinn deftly handed Grace over to her mother.
Hannah gave her a wry smile. ‘The day I never have to wipe another bum is going to be the best day of being a parent.’
‘I will have to take your word for that.’
Hannah took Grace off to the toilet, and Quinn and Ethan cast about the room awkwardly. The boys had fallen silent, their eyes trained on the television screen once again. Despite the tension in the room, it was quite gratifying to watch Ethan tidying the kitchen and wiping down the bench. Quinn wondered if he ever did that at home, or whether he sat on his arse on the couch, beer in hand, while Hannah did everything.
Fucking Ethan.
‘That was a big poo, Mummy!’ came Grace’s voice from the bathroom.
Quinn and Ethan both laughed out loud at the same time, then met each other’s eyes. Ethan smiled slightly. ‘Do you want a glass of wine?’ he asked.
Quinn did, but now Grace ran back out from the bathroom and hugged her around the legs, gazing up at her. Quinn sincerely hoped she had washed her hands.
‘Read to me now!’ she commanded.
Quinn shrugged at Ethan. ‘I’ll have to take a rain check on the wine. I have my orders.’
Grace fitted her soft little hand (wet, thank Christ) into Quinn’s. ‘Come and see my room!’
Hannah and Ethan kissed Grace goodnight in turn, and Quinn allowed herself to be led into the bedroom straight off the kitchen. She sat on the edge of the bed while Grace bounced around the room like a lively rabbit, showing her every single thing in the room. Finally, she calmed down sufficiently to hand Quinn a stack of picture books, then got into bed and pulled the covers up to her chin.
Quinn began to read to her, varying her voice for every character, but she was only halfway through the second book when Grace’s eyes grew heavy. She remained for a few minutes, watching the child’s tiny chest rising and falling with sleep. She was about to get up and leave when the hushed voices of Hannah and Ethan filtered through the wall behind Grace’s bed. Quinn’s whole body tensed.
‘Why did you bring her here? This is our holiday, not a free for all!’
‘I’m helping a friend in trouble!’ Hannah hissed.
‘What the hell has she gotten herself into now?’ Ethan said.
‘You don’t need to know the details.’
‘Of course not,’ Ethan said bitterly. ‘All I need to know is that you put your friend before your own family.’
‘That’s not fair!’ Hannah said, her voice beginning to rise. ‘I do everything for this family. I take one afternoon to be there for Quinn when she needs me and you practically accuse me of abandonment.’
There was a heavy sigh that Quinn knew came from Ethan. ‘If she had to come, she could at least have booked her own place. What took you so bloody long, anyway?’
‘I took her to the police station so she could give a statement,’ Hannah said flatly.
‘The police? What the hell did she do?’
‘You really are a bastard sometimes, you know that?’ Hannah spat.
‘Why are you getting angry with me? I haven’t done anything!’
‘She was raped, Ethan. And not by some random, either. By her boss.’
Shame swathed Quinn at the thought of Ethan knowing the truth. She’d almost rather let him assume she’d committed a crime than know what had been done to her. She rose from the bed and marched out to the kitchen. Ethan and Hannah were both huddled inside the walk-in pantry. They started guiltily when they noticed her.
‘The pantry backs straight onto Grace’s bedroom,’ Quinn said. ‘Just so you know.’
‘I’m sorry.’ Hannah’s face was red. ‘You weren’t supposed to hear any of that.’
‘Obviously. Look, I’m going to go. I’ll book a hotel tonight then go home tomorrow.’
‘Quinn, no,’ Hannah protested. ‘Please stay.’
Quinn
turned away and picked up her bag from where she’d left it beside the bench. ‘Really, Hannah, it’s OK. I understand.’
‘No, Hannah’s right,’ Ethan said. ‘Sorry about those things I said. I was wrong.’
Quinn looked around at him in surprise.
‘You should stay,’ he went on. ‘You’ll be helping us out, really. One adult per child.’
Quinn met Hannah’s eyes, and her friend stepped towards her. ‘Please stay. Don’t worry, you don’t really have to help out with the kids.’
After a moment, Quinn nodded. ‘OK. Thanks.’
‘Now how about that glass of wine?’ Ethan said.
The next morning, Quinn escaped the house before anyone else was up and walked along the empty beach alone. The sea was still, glistening pale blue and silvery gold as the sun rose. She’d hoped to find peace out here on her own, but now her experience at the police station yesterday crowded in on her. She hadn’t discussed any of it with Hannah, and Hannah hadn’t asked for the details.
Everyone had been understanding and gentle with her, of course, but things had gone just as she’d expected. The police had wanted to know why she hadn’t reported the rape straight after it happened. They told her that they believed her, then asked whether she was absolutely sure the sex hadn’t been consensual. She hadn’t mentioned what had happened at the Christmas party, but she now realised she’d missed her opportunity to frame the incident in her words before Simon twisted the story to his advantage when they brought him in for questioning.
The nurse who had performed the examination told her she’d done the right thing by coming in, that the first week was the best time to detect forensic evidence. But of course, it would’ve been better if she’d come in right after it’d happened; every shower she’d taken since would have erased more of his DNA. Her lips had pressed together when Quinn told her she’d thrown the ripped underwear into a public bin out the front of her work. She’d asked whether Simon had used a condom – once again the image of the condoms in his desk drawer had flashed through Quinn’s mind – and she’d had no choice but to admit that she didn’t even know. How could she not have taken notice of something so important?
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