Goddess Forsaken: A Fated Guardian Paranormal Romance (Rise of the Lost Gods Book 1)

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Goddess Forsaken: A Fated Guardian Paranormal Romance (Rise of the Lost Gods Book 1) Page 12

by Nicole Hall


  What else would she learn about herself from him?

  He buried his nose in her hair and let out a satisfied hum. Lindsey didn’t catch any words, but she understood the sentiment. She hadn’t been this relaxed in…possibly ever.

  Dax left a trail of kisses along her neck and jawline. “I’m not sure I can move my legs. How’re you feeling?”

  Lindsey surprised herself by giggling. She slapped a hand over her mouth but the giggle continued. “Fantastic, but now I’m sticky as well as filthy.”

  Dax rolled them over so she lay sprawled on top of him. “How about that shower?”

  To Lindsey’s great pleasure, the shower was indeed big enough for two. She’d have to thank Sabine later. Dax suggested they move to his room after they got clean, and he didn’t have to do much convincing to get Lindsey to crawl into his bed while he raided the fridge for food.

  After an impromptu picnic of grapes, orange juice, and peanut butter sandwiches, Dax had laid down, pulled her against him, and covered them both with the blanket. Lindsey couldn’t imagine a better morning. She curled up with her head on Dax’s shoulder and traced designs across the ridges of his abs.

  He stroked her back, from her nape down to the curve of her ass and up again. She didn’t think Dax intended the languid movement to tempt her, but that’s how her body reacted to it. Everything the man did tempted her, but lying next to him naked added a pleasurable new layer.

  Lindsey didn’t usually spend time with her sexual partners after the fact, preferring a quick getaway. They’d served their purpose, and she had no more use for them. She’d been accused of being cold, but until Dax, she hadn’t seen the benefit of cuddling. Honestly, she still didn’t see the benefit, but she loved the freedom it offered her to explore his body on her terms.

  Dax grunted and pushed the blankets to his waist. “This all feels so decadent, but also juvenile. Like, I never get to spend the day in bed with a sexy woman, but I’m also pretty sure I had that lunch as a kid.”

  She’d eaten more than her fair share of peanut butter sandwiches because they were cheap and easy to make. If she’d been thinking, Lindsey would have suggested ordering pizza, but she’d switched off her brain some time ago.

  “We still have the option of getting dressed and going god hunting.”

  Dax scoffed. “If I ever choose an activity that requires clothes over being naked with you, assume I’ve been replaced by a pod person.”

  The implication that there would be more instances of naked time together reminded Lindsey of her previous plans to keep things simple. “We should make some ground rules.”

  Dax’s hand stilled for a moment. “If that’s what you need.”

  Lindsey propped her chin on her stacked hands. “It’s what we both need. Clear expectations make for healthy partnerships.”

  His brow furrowed, but he didn’t correct her definition of their relationship, though she could see he wanted to. “Okay, first rule, no pajamas in bed.”

  She pursed her lips. “I’m not sure you get to decide what I wear at night in my own bed.”

  He nodded. “Right. I changed my mind. That’s the second rule. The first rule is that we share a bed. Safety in numbers and all that.”

  Lindsey tried her best to keep the smile off her face because it would only encourage him. “We’re not making that a rule, but I’ll accept it as a strong suggestion. I was thinking more along the lines of no ties beyond what we have now. No drama if things don’t work out.”

  “Oh, better idea for the first rule. We’re going to need some silk ties—"

  She put her fingers over his lips to quiet him, but the plan backfired when he met her eyes and kissed her palm instead. “Joking aside, I know you want clear boundaries between us. I’d prefer no boundaries, but I’ll work with what makes you comfortable. I’m stating right here that I’m not looking for a fling. I want a real relationship with you. Until you’re ready for that, I’ll be whatever you need, but I won’t share you. If we’re doing this, it’s only you and me.”

  His answer both elated and frustrated her. She’d been trying to make sure he knew they’d go their separate ways once the god mess was over, but his absolute surety that he wanted her sank deep into her heart. If only she could believe he wouldn’t change his mind.

  Nothing lasted forever.

  Lindsey considered calling a halt to whatever was happening between them, but that seemed like too little, too late. He knew where she stood, and he’d been right before. There wasn’t a good reason to deny them both when indulging would help her control her magic. Besides, she liked waking up next to him. Liked knowing he was hers, at least for now.

  She nodded. “You and me.”

  Dax kissed her palm again then set her hand back on his stomach with a pat. “New topic. Did you see Calliope yesterday?”

  Lindsey winced when she remembered the workshop. “Yeah, we had a somewhat heated discussion and she disappeared. Or I locked her in the storage space. One of the two.”

  “Don’t you think it’s weird that she wasn’t here for all the excitement?”

  “I think she wanders a lot farther than Sabine realizes. As for missing the excitement, I’m glad she’s not here. She’s been pushing me to forge a connection with you from the first day. It pains me that she’ll get to be all righteous because we had sex.”

  “At least the sex didn’t disappoint.”

  “It was…” She trailed off, unable to find the right description for what she’d experienced.

  “Combustible?” He threw in an eyebrow waggle, and Lindsey laughed.

  “Well, that’s a word for it.” She traced a crescent-shaped scar the size of her palm along his side. “What’s this from?”

  He glanced down, but Lindsey had the feeling he knew exactly what she was asking about.

  “Shark bite.”

  She poked him in the ribs. “You know, I want to call your bluff, but with you, it could be true.”

  Dax’s lips twitched, and he covered her hand with his, probably to prevent any more poking. “It’s from my sister. We were fooling around, and I sort of got impaled.”

  “Please enlighten me. How does one get sort of impaled?”

  “We were pretending to sword fight using these two swords I’d gotten for my birthday. The grass was wet, and my sister didn’t have great balance to begin with. She lunged forward and slipped. I caught her, but the sword dug into my side and kept going. Turned out the swords were sharper than we’d thought. Luckily, she didn’t hit anything important. The details are pretty gross. Just assume lots of blood and a skin flap that the doctors had to stitch back together.”

  Lindsey wasn’t sure if she should laugh or be horrified. “How old were you?”

  “I was thirteen. Beth was eleven, but she was taller than me so we sparred a lot.”

  “Who would buy a kid sharpened swords for his birthday?”

  Dax clutched his chest in mock affront. “Hey. I was a newly minted teenager, and I made sure everyone knew it. The swords were from my grandma. Somehow she didn’t expect Beth and me to immediately try to kill each other with them.”

  Being an only child, Lindsey didn’t have any personal experience with siblings, but judging from Dax’s wistful tone, being impaled by his sister was a fond memory. “Did she win the battle then?”

  “Yeah, but we were both a lot more careful after that. For a while.”

  “It sounds like you were tight with her. Do you two still try to kill each other when you get together?”

  Dax’s smile faded to a faint curve of his lips. “Not for a long time. She died when she was fifteen. I was supposed to take her to some party, but I had a bad feeling about it so I backed out. Her friend picked her up, and they got sideswiped on the way there, only a few blocks from our place. I heard the sirens and rushed over, thinking I could help. There she was, covered in metal and blood, already gone.”

  Lindsey grimaced and cursed her stupid mouth. “I’m sorry.”
She wanted to say more—to offer comfort—but she didn’t know how. Dax had clearly loved his sister, and he probably didn’t want to be answering questions about her death.

  She pressed a kiss to his chest, and he threaded his fingers through her hair. Dax eased her head back so he could lean down for a lazy kiss. The simple touch of his lips sparked the need inside her again, but he pulled back after a moment.

  “I don’t have anything to hide from you. Ask any questions you want, and I’ll answer them freely.”

  Even with the encouragement, Lindsey didn’t feel right probing for information. He could tell her about his feelings in his own time.

  “It’s okay. I already know the important part. She was loved deeply, and you miss her just as deeply.”

  Dax kissed her again, briefly, then laid his head back against the pillow with a sigh. “Since we’re in a sharing mood, how long have you had the tattoo?”

  Lindsey raised a brow, willing to play along if it lifted him out of his sadness. “I wasn’t sure you’d noticed.”

  “I am a master of observation. Especially when it comes to your naked body. Tiny flame tattoo on your hip in the bikini zone. Spill it.”

  She smiled at the memory. “It was my present to myself on my eighteenth birthday. One of the few things I splurged on. I was finally on my own, and I wanted to prove it by paying someone to permanently mark my body.”

  “Why a flame?”

  Why not? Lindsey wanted to throw that flippant answer at him and change the subject, but he’d told her about his sister. She’d endured years of emotional abuse from her mom, but in comparison, her past didn’t seem quite as bad as the death of a loved one. She frowned. Now that she thought of it, she had no idea if her mom was even still alive.

  Lindsey focused on the foot of the bed and took a deep breath. “I had to read the Divine Comedy in high school, and one of the lines stuck with me. ‘From a small spark great flame hath risen’. I like the idea that beginnings aren’t all that important. It’s what comes after that makes a difference.”

  Dax wrapped both arms around her for a second and squeezed her into a tight hug. “I had to read that too. Want to know the line I remember? ‘Do not be afraid. Our fate cannot be taken from us; it is a gift’. My grandma had said something similar my whole life, and it made me wonder if that’s where she got it.”

  The note of sadness in his voice helped her move past her discomfort. She tilted her head to look up at him. “Are you close to your grandma?”

  His hand found its route again, soothing more than enticing now. “We were. She died not too long ago.”

  She thunked her head against his chest and groaned. “I’m sorry, Dax. Just to be clear before I put my foot in my mouth again, do you have any other dead relatives I should avoid mentioning?”

  He laughed and lifted her chin to brush a kiss across her forehead. “No. Just those two.”

  “See, I’m really not good at the whole girlfriend/boyfriend thing.”

  “I disagree. Would it help if I called you my sugar mama?”

  Lindsey’s shoulders shook with laughter. “Please no.”

  “No, huh.” Dax stroked his chin. “How about paramour? No? I’ve got it. Love bunny.”

  “You can call me what you want, but it’s not my fault if I accidentally light your hair on fire.”

  He cocked his head and stared into the distance for a moment. “Do you think it’s a coincidence that your magic manifests as fire?”

  She rolled her eyes. “Do you think it’s a coincidence that we both remember lines from the Divine Comedy? Or how about that we both ended up house-sitting the same house for the summer? Oh, here’s a good one. You happened to know the exact kind of sword I had the random urge to buy a couple of days ago.”

  “I’m getting some very disbelieving vibes from you.”

  “You’re right. You are a master of observation. I’m not a big proponent of coincidence. Even before I found out that the Fates were real and messing with people’s lives. Now it seems like a front for meddling gods.”

  Dax’s phone rang, and he leaned down for a lingering kiss before rolling out of bed. “Hold that thought.”

  Lindsey curled up in his empty spot and watched him search the floor for the jarring ring. He checked under the bed around the nightstand, growing increasingly frantic, until he pulled his phone out from the space between the headboard and the wall. Dax held his prize up in triumph, so she offered him a golf clap while he answered it.

  All the playfulness drained out of her when she heard Ana’s name. The lady friend from yesterday. The one who’d been with Dax when he’d found her.

  Lindsey remembered the push and the bright rush of panic when she’d reached for Dax. Something else niggled at her mind. Something important that she needed to remember from right before that moment. Unfortunately, she couldn’t tear her attention away from the naked man in front of her.

  Dax sent her a quick glance, then assured Ana that everything was fine. He smiled softly, and Lindsey knew it wasn’t for her. She kept her face carefully docile. This was another new sensation for her—raging jealousy. She hadn’t cared enough about the other men that had drifted through her life to be jealous.

  What a shitty time to break that habit. Dax laughed and demanded pizza in repayment for something as Lindsey fought to regain control of her irrational emotions. They were friends. Dax was allowed to have friends. Encouraged even. So what if Ana was beautiful and funny and limber?

  Dax held the phone in place with his shoulder and walked into the bathroom. Running water obscured the rest of the conversation, but Lindsey didn’t need to hear more. She pressed her lips together. Dax had insisted on the monogamy clause, and she trusted him to adhere to it. But that didn’t mean she’d lay around warming his bed when there was work to be done.

  She sat up and tossed the blankets off, then paused after two steps toward the door. If Calliope were in the hall and caught Lindsey doing the walk of shame back to her room, she’d never hear the end of it. Lindsey glanced at the open bathroom door and caught a snippet of Dax’s teasing voice. Clenching her jaw against the inner bitch that wanted to break free, she took her chances with the hallway.

  10

  Lindsey

  Lindsey managed to change into clean clothes and make it all the way into the kitchen without seeing Calliope. She paused in the doorway and glanced over her shoulder at the stairs. Dax hadn’t come looking for her, so she assumed he was still in the bathroom chatting with his good friend Ana.

  She grabbed a banana and ate it while she started the coffee-maker. If Calliope was right, Lindsey’s morning with Dax should have cleared up any blocks to her magic. She lifted her hand and stared at her palm while the rich smell of brewed bean filled the kitchen.

  After several seconds of intense concentration, Lindsey slapped the counter in defeat. She could feel the power, just out of her reach, but she couldn’t get to it. All her worries about using Dax seemed to be for naught.

  Could they all have been wrong? She glowered at her cup as she doctored her coffee, then transferred her annoyance to the damn cat. Calliope was supposed to be the expert, and she apparently had no fucking clue.

  What if Dax wasn’t who the Fates had chosen for her? Would that make things better or worse? Lindsey scalded her tongue on her first sip and cursed aloud. She’d wanted Dax from the first moment, and the feeling had only strengthened as she’d gotten to know him. Emotions aside, her magic didn’t affect him. He had to be the one.

  They needed a bond, but the one they had clearly wasn’t good enough. Lindsey sighed into her coffee and took a large swig. She’d touched him from halfway across the forest during the fall. That proved they had some kind of connection. What more did the Fates want?

  Lindsey emptied her cup and set it aside. Just to be sure, she’d try one more time. She took a deep breath and tried to will the fire into existence. All she created was the beginning of a headache from clenching her neck mu
scles so hard.

  Failure pissed her off, so Lindsey chalked it up to not enough information and went in search of Calliope. For once, the cat was exactly where Lindsey thought she’d be—sleeping in the front room.

  She crossed her arms and considered several rude wake-up calls, but Lindsey’s frustration was only mildly caused by Calliope. She drew the line at spurious acts of petty retribution.

  “Time to wake up, Calliope. Some things happened while you were missing yesterday. Your disappearing act isn’t very helpful, by the way.”

  Calliope sat up from her sun spot in the windowsill and blinked sleepily. I patrol the forest. She yawned wide then jumped to the coffee table where she curled her tail around her legs. You’ve made progress. Excellent. Shall we start magic practice in earnest?

  Lindsey’s brow furrowed. “What?”

  You’ve finally consummated your relationship. I’ll admit, you’re more stubborn than I anticipated, but—

  “How do you know Dax and I had sex?”

  I can smell him on you.

  Lindsey pinched the bridge of her nose and took a couple of deep breaths. She hoped it was a cat nose thing and not a magic thing, but she wasn’t going to ask. It didn’t matter anyway. “I don’t have access to my magic.”

  I don’t understand.

  “We spent the night together, but my magic is as trapped as it was before.”

  That can’t be right. I felt sure this would work.

  Lindsey straightened as a cold suspicion slid over her. “That what would work?”

  The cat’s ear twitched, a lone sign of her distress. Don’t give me that tone. I was honest with you from the beginning. I told you demigod magic was dependent on a bond between both parties. Since you were focused on your own issues, I attempted to speed along the relationship.

  “And how exactly did you do that?” Was this morning another example of magical manipulation?

 

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