“I still like cycling, and I’m going to start again when we get back home.”
“You’re confusing me.” This time I grabbed Simone’s wrists in each hand, settling her on top of me.
“How?”
“You say you’re going to start cycling again when we get back home.”
“Wanna cycle together?”
“Alex, I wanna do more than cycle with you.”
Simone
To his credit, Alex offered to find a hotel room instead of his tent.
“Don’t you like camping?”
“Sure, although there are far more people than I usually prefer.”
“Hiking style of camping?”
“You ever gone bush before?”
“No.” The idea had never occurred to me. “But I’m willing to give it a go.” With Alex, not on my own.
“We can pack up the tent in a few minutes and find you a nice, comfy mattress on a bed we can try breaking.”
“Or, we can stay here and keep the rest of the world at bay.”
“You don’t want to check in with your family? Stay with them tonight and we’ll hang out again tomorrow?”
“You trying to get rid of me, Alex?” I pulled Alex into the tent. “If so, be blunt and tell me face to face. No ghosting and no breaking up by text.”
“The only thing I’m trying to get rid of is your clothes. You are far to overdressed for this tent.”
In the end, I didn’t contact my family or old friends. The only contact Alex had with the outside world, was when he ducked out to get us food. I hung around the campsite, surrounded by tourists and no chance to run into anyone I knew.
I felt loved.
Bike ride, making love. Lunch and then making out. Hand in hand, we walked the end of the beach just talking about random stuff.
Including the death of our previous relationships.
“If he hadn’t died, I would have hated him for taking the coward’s way out.”
“Breaking up by text.”
“After five years, I think I deserved to see the white of his eyes while he ended things.”
“Absolutely. Although seeing the person who once looked at you with love have no passion or anything, hurts like shit.”
“Hadn’t thought about it like that.” I didn’t want to ask, but needed to. “Would you take her back?”
“No.” Alex didn’t even draw breath before answering. “You know that semi we lost last year?”
I nodded. We’d crushed every game up until being knocked out in a semi-final we should have walked over.
“There’s no do-over. We had one short and it fucked up. Yeah, we can reform the team, play another season, but it won’t be the same.”
“No going back?” I asked.
“Not when the best view is out in front.”
We’d sat on the sand until nightfall. Kissing and not kissing. But mostly in silence. Whatever we were, it wasn’t defined in any way that could be explained or made sense.
Alex picked a bottle of chardonnay for me, a six pack of beers for him, and more fish and chips on the way back to our tent. We lounged around the picnic area before ending the night with a full repeat of the night before.
“Fuck, babe!” Alex rolled away. “You’re gonna be the death of me.”
“Better get fit then.”
“Or you could do more than lie there and take it!”
“As if I had a choice.” I laughed. “Here’s a hint, you put your head down there and I’m not pushing you away.”
Although I did enjoy playing sixty-nine. A lot.
And at the time, Alex didn’t seem like complaining.
We’d gone past just sex for the sake of fucking our exes out of our system. Ill-defined, unplanned but definitely the beginning of something.
We didn’t need to say the words, because it just was.
“This was,” Alex started before kissing my forehead. Naked, again. In his arms, again. Underneath a purple fluffy throw rug he’d bought earlier in the day. “An incredible day.”
My kisses were my reply.
Yes, there was still a lot to sort out. Exchanging phone numbers would be a start. Even working out how to tell our friends back home. After all, it would look as though this weekend had been planned and Alex’ colleagues might even think we’d started dating before he was single.
And the guys on the football team, especially the ones I’d brushed off as not being ready to date? I had my own explaining to do.
Details. Mere details.
Two days ago, I was trying to find my future.
One day ago, I found a man who wanted to be my today.
Now, I felt confident enough to believe in the future, in everything as long as I can do so in Alex’ arms.
Alex
What the hell just happened?
A second night of no sleep, for a start. Blame it on the unfamiliar sound of the surf calling my name, or the unfamiliar deep breathing of the woman lying in my arms who’d called my name several times last night, the night before. And in the early hours of the morning.
And would do so again, if I had anything to do with it.
I carefully unwrapped my legs and arms from around the still sleeping Simone, brushing the long strands from her face, again. The sun had barely started showing itself from beyond the ocean and I couldn’t resist the call of the waves any longer.
After all, that’s why I’d come here. To surf, not to actually start a new life with a woman.
It had all happened so quickly, before I had a chance to catch my breath and think.
Yeah, we knew each other so it wasn’t a random hook up. But we weren’t exactly friends before. So what were we now?
A woman I knew so well, but not her number to send a text to let her know I’d be out on the waves for a couple of hours. Inviting her to continue our conversation for another day! At least for a start. Rummaging through my backpack and truck, not a damn piece of paper to write on, not even an old petrol receipt.
Surely even without leaving a message, she’d have to know that after yesterday and last night whatever we had was worth exploring further. Over a late and leisurely breakfast, lunch and definitely more extreme kissing.
I needed to go out and clear my head, but surely, she knew our connection went far more than physical; although if I was honest at least with myself, I’d been tempted to do things with Simone that I’d never wanted to try before.
Which scared the hell out of me.
Who the hell was I? And what did it say about me as a person if I could turn off the anger, hurt and crap as if it had been a switch just waiting for me to find it. How the hell could I turn my back on four years just because a gorgeous brunette fluttered her eyelashes.
Okay, Simone had done a lot more than flutter, but still—
One night with Simone could have been passed off as an accident. Too much to drink and no inclination to look past the first woman who paid me any attention. Yesterday could have been two lonely people working through their shit.
But last night blew my mind.
Sitting on the beach, talking about random shit. The woman had me talking about emotions and crap. Like a fucking pussy. I never talked about shit like that, with anyone.
Not even with my ex.
Stone cold fucking sober and I’d been talking about feelings. Anger. Hurt. My occasional need for revenge. Jealousy and then relief.
Fuck. I’d even admitted to Simone that the sliver of relief that my ex had the guts to call time so I didn’t have to.
I’d said things that I couldn’t take back. Done things with Simone that I didn’t want to take back.
Fuck, I’d come here to clear my head and now this woman had invaded more than my body.
Surf, that’s what I needed. Giving up on the hunt for paper, I popped inside my tent but the softest kiss goodbye didn’t even stir my sleeping princess. Part of me wanted to lie back down and wait for her to wake. But—what if she assumed we were
more than we were? But—what if she woke and had all the same fears? What if she demanded I admit to feelings or a future that I wasn’t ready for? But—what if—
Before I changed my mind, I zipped up the tent and headed down to the beach.
Paddling out to the break, all the crap didn’t seem as important. Sitting out on my board, waiting for the first wave and I felt connected to life. Nothing like sitting out on my board to remember the insignificance of a childhood romance gone bad.
My first ride was a bust. Embarrassingly so.
Paddling back out, the second wave was poorly timed and worthy of the scorned looks from other real surfers.
This time, my paddle back beyond the breaks hurt more than my pride. My screaming muscles reminded me how long since my board and I had spent any quality time together. Obviously, the surf wasn’t good enough for most of the locals who could grace their waves at any time, but for those of us willing to brave the less than perfect conditions, the surf had enough carriage to keep us coming back for more.
Waiting for the next set of waves, I had enough fresh air to clear my head without the naked beauty of Simone distracting me.
After hearing her story, I needed to be sure. No one would win if I started something only to walk away and risk hurting her. No, I needed to be sure of my feelings before heading back to shore.
Firstly, was I over my ex and even ready to move on?
Yeah, my first love had shattered my ego before shredding my heart by deciding that a life in the town we grew up in, and with me was a fate worse than death. She’d been more dramatic, throwing around words like staid and boring.
“Are you kidding me?” She’d yelled in one of our last fights. “There is a whole world out there waiting for me.” Only now did I remember the me not us. “I can’t think of anything more oppressive than living and dying in the same town. Are you insane?”
Months later, I tried to look back objectively. She hadn’t wanted to be seen as the bad person, breaking my heart because we weren’t right for each other anymore. No, she needed to be cruel and compare me to the first guy who offered her a shiny future before wrapping her new happiness in a tidy bow and throwing it in my face. Taking every fucking opportunity to humiliate me in front of her family and my friends.
Still, the whole point of getting away was to press a reset on my life. Start again with fresh eyes and a new outlook.
I didn’t miss her. Didn’t want her. Wouldn’t even take her back if she begged and offered me the world.
Simone Drucker.
Wow. Nothing prepared me for seeing her at the pub; and if anyone had warned me about the last two nights, I’d have laughed myself silly.
I didn’t see it coming.
Yeah, we’d hung out back home as part of the touch football team. We’d laughed and joked around, but I’d always been careful not to cross the line. Not that I’d realized there was a line to be crossed.
Simone on one side, watching me.
Me, waiting for my ex to pull the pin and release me from what would have been a lifetime of compromise—mine—and heart-ache—ours.
Being with Simone as more than friends was beyond description. I hadn’t laughed so much in months, if not years. Joking, teasing, flirting until we’d had no option but to take it all the way.
Again, and again. Her body felt like silk, and the little cries she made when coming made me want to explode!
So engrossed in thinking about the night before, I completely missed the next set of waves, to the chagrin of another group of surfers who’d been waiting for me to take my turn.
What the hell was I doing here?
Sitting on a board with a bunch of blokes when a wonderful woman awaited my kisses? Idiot.
The sexy Simone who believed in commitment, love and wanted a family. Fuck, all the things we’d talked about last night. Really talked, and listened, and talked more. We had so much in common, even down to wanting the freedom of owning our own small businesses.
Screw surfing. I’d rather be lying in a cramped tent screwing the sexy and insatiable Simone.
I gave up on the waves, allowing the next small set to carry me back into the shore.
Hopefully, Simone was ready to be awaken with kisses and coffee, although we’d have to leave the tent for the coffee. Hell, I’d keep kissing her on the way into town to get it.
Except she wasn’t in the tent.
Her clothes, bag, phone were all gone.
Fuck.
At first, I didn’t dare leave the tent, waiting in hope that she’d gone up to the shower block and would return. Then I waited in case she also had the need for coffee and had gone to get us breakfast. Now that I’d trained up Simon the barista, she even knew where to go.
The heat of the day made the tent almost unbearable. Sweating up a storm, I moved to the truck, figuring if she came back—when she came back—we’d laugh about our misunderstanding. I didn’t want to risk moving away from the tent, not even as far as the picnic area in case she came back and couldn’t find me.
But by mid-morning, I had to face the bitter realization the woman who had walked into my life, turned it upside down and made me at least consider a happily ever after, had walked out as quickly as she’d appeared.
All because I’d been a selfish prick and gone for a surf without waking her, letting her know.
All the reasons for running away to a strange town where I knew nobody came back to bite me on the ass. Other than trying to run into Simone or Eddie again at the pub tonight, I didn’t even know where to start to look. Waiting until chance helped me tonight wasn’t even an option. I had too much to lose—we had too much to lose. I couldn’t sit around here and wait all day to find out if she felt the same.
And if she didn’t, well—I didn’t have a plan B.
“Stu, it’s Alex—” I tried to keep my tone casual and relaxed. My friend was the registrar for the touch football competition we all played in. “Look, I’m trying to track down one of the girls who played with us last season, Simone.”
“Strange way to find a date!”
“Nah, mate. I’m trying to track down her brother.” Breath in and out, repeat, I reminded myself. There could be a reason she dumped me and if I couldn’t find her or make it right, if things didn’t work out, the last thing we needed was to be the subject of gossip. “We lost touch a while ago but I know he lives in Wollongong, I’m in town and thought he might want to hit the waves.”
“What’s this brother’s name,” Stu challenged.
“Eddie, but she calls him Teddy Bear. He hates it, but what’s he gonna do.”
“Didn’t even realize you knew her that well.”
“I don’t, and I didn’t even know he was her brother until it came up in conversation one time. I’d have asked her myself before I left town, but didn’t have time. Do you have contact info for her or not?”
“Give me half an hour. If I’ve got it, I’ll text you.”
“Thanks, mate.”
“You realize that she’s been waiting for you to notice her?” Stu threw out.
“Unlikely.” But interesting. Shit. I needed to close down the rumour mill before it started.
“Believe what you want, but I think surfing with this Eddie will end up being coffee with the sweet Simone.”
“Just get me her number.”
True to his word, within half an hour, not only did I have Simone’s number but also her parent’s address.
Stu: Thought you’d appreciate her next of kin details—just in case you need to get her emergency care.
Funny fellow, then again, I didn’t care how the information came my way as long as it did.
Shit. Shit and double shit.
I had every right to second guess hooking up with Simone. I had every right to take some time out, chill a little and make sure my actions weren’t about to plunge me back into a world of heart ache and crap.
You had every right, but what about Simone’s feelings?
How the hell could she abandon me like that? As if we meant nothing. As if I meant nothing, to her.
Simone
All good things must come to an end.
Friday night, hook up.
Saturday and Saturday night, fuck like wild rabbits.
Sunday morning, wake up alone.
I’d already played this game once before, and lost. I didn’t need a map for Alex to show me the way. He’d come looking for a way to smash out of his post-breakup funk. I’d sensed last night that he’d started to have second thoughts. I didn’t blame him.
Making love took a level of emotional energy that sex didn’t require. We’d moved from sex to the more intimate stuff at some point between breakfast coffee, bike ride and walk along the beach.
It was terrifying. The idea of letting go of all my anger and hurt, allowing myself to be vulnerable and trusting another person again? Even thoughts of going so far as to introduce him to my family—who were never going to blindly accept any guy. Eddie had been texting me almost hourly.
His early morning wake up texts hit the raw nerve. As much for what they said as for the rapid fire delivery.
Eddie: Hey sis. Gonna bring him home or set him free?
Eddie: Remember, I’m your brother and if you come home sporting a dirty smile, it better be because you’ve checked the cricket results.
I hated cricket. It was the most boring game on earth, but Eddie loved it and we spent most of summer with him defending cricket to the hilt, while I mocked it as if it was my only religion.
Eddie: I’m assuming you haven’t called me because you’re trying to find makeup to hide the bite marks. I’ll lend you a turtle-neck. Mum won’t know and I’ll pretend not to notice.
Eddie: Come home. Mum and dad are worried.
Eddie: At least text me—proof of life would be helpful.
Eddie: A text isn’t enough. Tell me something only you would know.
Have you met Alex: friends to lovers romance Page 7