by Zoe Sugg
“Oh yes. He was really grumpy last week but ever since he met you he’s been all smiley again.”
“Oh good.” I really want to ask her why he was grumpy but that feels way too inappropriate.
“You make me happy too,” Bella says to me shyly.
“Ah, thank you.”
“And you make Princess Autumn happy, doesn’t she, Princess Autumn?”
Bella picks up the doll. “Oh yes,” she says in a squeaky little voice, waving the doll about. “She makes me very happy—even though she didn’t give me a name.”
I look at Bella and I laugh. Everything will be OK. I’ll sort things out with Elliot as soon as I get home, but for now I have to make the most of my time with Noah—and Bella—and Princess Autumn.
31 December
It’s the People, not the Place
Once, when my family ended up on a day trip to a place called Cow Roast and we realized that, despite its epic name, there wasn’t really anything much there apart from a row of houses, a pub (that was shut), and a petrol station, my dad gave us a really cool piece of advice. He said that it doesn’t matter what a place is like, what matters is the people you see that place with. If they are up for adventure then you can make anywhere fun. We made Cow Roast fun that day—playing hide-and-seek in some nearby woods and meeting an old lady who invited us into her cottage for tea and scones.
Even though New York is one of the least boring places in the world, seeing it with Brooklyn Boy has made it even more exciting. And the weirdest thing is that in the week I’ve been here, I haven’t been to a single tourist attraction. Instead, Brooklyn Boy has been taking me to all of his secret favorite spots. Yesterday, we drove out to a beach in New Jersey and although it was deserted because of the winter weather it was magical. We wrote our names in the sand and drank hot chocolate from flasks and I took some great pictures of a boardwalk (which is an American promenade). And I survived the drive—there and back—without having a panic attack!
Another night, we visited an art gallery called Framed because Brooklyn Boy had heard there was a really cool photography exhibition on there. The theme of the exhibition was hope and all of the photographers had interpreted it in totally different ways. My favorite was a picture of a little girl with her face pressed up against a toy-shop window. But the best thing about the exhibition was going with Brooklyn Boy: because he’s friends with the gallery owner, we got to go in at night when it was shut to everyone else. (This was doubly good for me because it meant that no one else saw when I tripped over some rope on the ground. It turned out that the rope was a piece of modern art called The Snake. Personally, I think it should be renamed The Health & Safety Hazard.)
So my dad was definitely right—it’s the people you see a place with that really matters. Brooklyn Boy has shown me a really private and personal side of New York I never would have found on my own.
How about you guys?
How have the people you’ve been with made a place really fun and exciting?
Wishing you all a super-fun New Year’s Eve—with super-fun people!
Girl Online, going offline xxx
Chapter Thirty-Three
In the olden days, people used to talk about time as if it were a person. They used to call him Father Time. According to Elliot, Father Time was an old man with a long white beard who carried an hourglass everywhere. I’ve decided that he also had a really mean sense of humor. Think about it. Whenever something horrible happens to you—like you’re stuck in an algebra exam, or you’re having a filling, or you fall over onstage and show your underwear—time goes by so slowly that every second feels like an hour, but whenever something really amazing happens to you—like you might actually be falling in love for the very first time—time goes by so fast you blink and an entire week has gone.
It’s New Year’s Eve morning. We’re leaving tomorrow. We’re leaving tomorrow and I’ll be leaving the person I think I’ve fallen in love with. In the days since Christmas my list of evidence that Noah is my soul mate has grown and grown. I haven’t put any more about it on my blog, though—there’s no way I want to upset Elliot again. But, in my head, the list now includes things like:
• we both love to read books with killer twists at the end
• he takes me to special places I’d never find on my own
• I know exactly where I’d take him if he were ever to come to Brighton
• he loves my photographs and thinks I could exhibit in a gallery
• when he says this he makes me feel talented and confident and strong
• he hates selfies too
• we both love crunchy peanut butter
• he makes me say things like “we both love crunchy peanut butter”!
And tomorrow I’m going to have to leave him, fly across an entire ocean away from him, back to my phoney so-called friends and my barely-talking-to-me best friend. As I lie in my bunk and stare up at the ceiling, I feel hollowed out with sadness.
Unable to stand it anymore, I get out of bed and head downstairs. As I cross the hallway, I hear Sadie Lee’s voice coming from the kitchen.
“Don’t you think you should tell her?”
“No!” Noah’s voice is so insistent it makes me stop dead. “I don’t want to ruin it. It’s been so cool—”
“Morning, Penny!” I jump and turn to see Dad at the top of the stairs. Argh! I hear the scraping back of a chair in the kitchen and Noah appears in the archway to the kitchen.
“Hey, Penny. Hey, Rob. You guys want some pancakes?”
“Is the Pope a Catholic?” Dad says, bounding downstairs.
I force myself to smile at Noah but as I go to join him in the kitchen, I can’t stop thinking about what I overheard. What were they talking about? Am I the “her” that Sadie Lee mentioned and, if so, what did she think Noah should tell me?
All day long the question bugs me, not helping my growing tension about leaving tomorrow. As I set about the horrible job of packing my suitcase, I start going over everything in my head, searching for clues that Noah might have been keeping something from me. In the whole time I’ve been staying in his house I haven’t seen a single one of his friends. He hasn’t seemed to have heard from anyone either, but then he is on his cell-phone detox. I’m still not entirely sure what he’s been doing on his gap year either. He mentioned something about a part-time job in a store downtown but it was in the past tense. I sit down on my case with a sigh. Here I go again, searching for negative things instead of focusing on the positive. Noah took me to the art gallery. He introduced me to his friends there. He wouldn’t have done that if he had something to hide. I don’t even know that it was me Sadie Lee was talking about. The fact is, I only have a few hours left in New York. I can’t ruin them with my stupid fears.
In the afternoon we all sit down at the kitchen table to play American Monopoly—well, all apart from Bella, who sits under the table playing with her dolls.
“Are you looking forward to Times Square tonight, Pen?” Dad asks as he hands out everyone’s money. Dad’s always the banker whenever we play Monopoly. He always wins too. I’m not entirely sure these two facts aren’t related.
“Yes,” I reply, but the truth is I’m not looking forward to it at all. We’re going to Times Square to see in the new year, but as soon as the clock strikes midnight it will turn from the year I met Noah to the year I have to leave him. I feel the overwhelming urge to cry, and begin studying the differences in the American Monopoly board to stop myself. But it’s hard to be riveted by the fact that the stations are all called “railroads” when it feels as if your heart is breaking. Noah takes hold of my hand under the table. I look at him and smile.
“You OK?” he mouths to me.
I nod.
“I can see you holding hands,” Bella calls out in a singsong voice from under the table.
Noah and I look at each other and laugh.
“You know, I was thinking,” Noah says to Sadie Lee. “Why don’t you all go out
to Times Square with them and I’ll babysit Bella.”
“I don’t need babysitting,” Bella yells. “I’m not a baby!”
“OK, I’ll big-girl-sit Bella,” Noah says. “You deserve a night out, G-ma.”
Sadie Lee stares at him. I stare at him. Why is he offering to babysit on our last night together?
“But what about Penny?” Sadie Lee says.
Yes, what about me? I want to yell.
“Well, I was thinking that Penny might want to babysit with me?” Noah looks at me hopefully.
I instantly grin. Spending my last night at home with Noah is way more appealing than being swamped by the crowds of people at Times Square.
“Big-girl-sit!” Bella yells, correcting Noah.
“Big-girl-sit,” Noah says.
“But surely Penny wouldn’t want to miss Times Square at New Year’s?” Sadie Lee says, looking at me.
“I wouldn’t mind at all,” I say. “In fact, I’d prefer it.”
“You would?” Dad looks at me and raises his eyebrows.
I pray to the God of Gullible Parents for a miracle.
“Are you worried about all the crowds?” Mum says, looking at me concerned.
I hardly dare breathe—could my miracle have been granted so soon?
“Yes,” I say, and it isn’t strictly a lie; I do hate big crowds.
“Maybe it would be best if we all stay home tonight,” Mum says. “We have got to get up early for our flight tomorrow.”
“No!” I practically yell. I take a moment to calm myself down. I don’t want to give the game away. “I’d feel horrible if you just stayed in because of me and, anyway, there’s no point feeling bad about it. I’d be way happier babysitting.”
Bella emerges from under the table looking really cross. “I’m not a baby!” she says to me with her hands on her hips.
I laugh and pull her up onto my knee. “I know you’re not. I’m sorry.” Bella snuggles into me and I wrap my arms around her.
“I sure am gonna miss you, Penny,” she says.
“I sure am gonna miss you too,” I say in a fake American accent.
Everyone laughs, then Dad starts to nod. “OK then, if you’re certain,” he says.
I look at him and smile. “Yes, I’m certain.” I don’t think I’ve ever been more certain of anything in my life.
• • •
Once Mum and Dad and Sadie Lee and Sadie Lee’s friend Betty have headed off to Times Square, Noah asks Bella what she’d like to do.
She tilts her head to one side and thinks about it for all of a second before answering, “Please can we play princesses?”
Noah laughs. “Oh man. Who do I get to be? Princess Noah?”
Bella shakes her head. “No, silly. You’re the famous rock-star prince.”
“Good role,” I say, nodding my approval to Noah.
“Right,” Noah says, looking distinctly unimpressed.
“And Penny is Princess Autumn and I’m Princess Bella the Third.”
Noah looks at me and raises his eyebrows. “What happened to Bella the First and Second?”
“They were killed by an alien pig.”
I bite down on my bottom lip to stop myself from laughing.
“Go and get your guitar then,” Bella says to Noah. It suddenly dawns on me that I haven’t seen Noah play the guitar since the day we met.
“And, Penny, you have to dress up like a princess.”
“I don’t think I’ve got any princess clothes.”
“What about the dress?” Noah says. “The one you were wearing the night of the wedding party.”
“Oh yes.”
I run upstairs to Mum and Dad’s room and find the dress in Mum’s luggage. This time I don’t put the shoes or headband on. I stay barefoot and let my curls tumble loosely over my shoulders.
When I get back to the living room, Noah is sitting on the edge of the sofa strumming a beautiful black guitar with a pearly white fret board.
“OK, still majestic,” he says as soon as he sees me.
“Why, thank you, Prince Rock Star.”
“You’re welcome, Princess Autumn.”
Bella, who has gotten changed into a gorgeous satin princess dress in deep purple, looks at me and claps her hands. “This is going to be so much fun!” She turns to Noah. “Play her the song.”
“Which song?”
“The song,” Bella says, looking at him pointedly. “You know, the one you wrote about her,” she whispers loudly.
Noah’s face flushes. “Oh, no, I can’t, it’s not finished yet. How about I do one from Frozen? Bella’s seen the movie Frozen about seventy million times,” he says to me with a grin.
Bella claps her hands together. “Yes! Sing ‘Let It Go.’ Please!”
Noah plays a few chords on his guitar, then starts to sing.
Bella starts dancing around the room with her teddy bear. “I love this song,” she says to me breathlessly.
And as Noah carries on singing, I fall in love with it too. His voice is so beautiful, so soft and husky. The kind of voice that really makes you pay attention. I glance over at him and see that he’s staring at me intently while he sings. Is he singing it to me? Does he actually mean the words he’s singing? As the song builds and he gets to a line about overcoming your fears, he looks straight at me and I feel shivers run up and down my spine.
“Dance with me,” Bella says, pulling me up from the sofa.
I hold her hands and we start spinning around and around, faster and faster. It’s as if Noah’s voice is carrying us and it makes me feel powerful, invincible, fearless, and free. It makes me feel head over heels in love.
Chapter Thirty-Four
After two hours of singing and dancing and acting out elaborate storylines involving beautiful princesses and rock-star princes and alien-pig invasions, Bella is limp with tiredness.
“I think somebody might be ready for bed,” Noah says, putting his guitar down.
“No!” Bella cries, but it’s really halfhearted and she rests her head in my lap.
“I tell you what, why doesn’t Penny read you a bedtime story while I do a bit of clearing up down here.”
Bella immediately springs upright. “OK!”
Noah looks at me and smiles. “Take your time,” he says. “I’ve got a few things to sort out here.”
I nod and pick Bella up. “Come on then, Princess Bella the Third.”
Once I’ve gotten Bella in bed, I put Princess Autumn on the pillow next to her.
“I’m gonna be so sad when you go,” Bella says in a tired little voice.
“I’m going to be really sad too,” I say, smoothing down her hair. “I was thinking—maybe Princess Autumn should stay with you.”
Bella’s eyes open wide. “For real?”
I smile. “Yes. I think she’d be happier here.”
Bella nods. “I think you’re right. And that way, every time I feel sad about you I can play with Princess Autumn instead.”
“Exactly.” I tuck Princess Autumn in next to Bella and start telling her a story about Prince William and Princess Kate and the day they had to rescue the Queen from an alien-pig invasion. Eventually, she falls asleep. I kiss her on the forehead and I’m just about to leave when Noah comes in.
“Good work,” he whispers as he sees her asleep. “I’ll just kiss her good night. I’ll see you down in the basement.”
I nod and a weird sensation of excitement and fear courses right through me to the soles of my feet. Finally, Noah and I are going to be alone together.
As I go down into the basement, I see some twinkling fairy lights at the far end. At first I think it’s coming from a Christmas tree but it’s the wrong shape. I go past the sofas and see that the lights are coming from the pool table. But it doesn’t look like a pool table anymore because it’s got blankets draped over it and fairy lights strung all around it.
I hear Noah coming down the steps behind me.
“I built you a tent,�
� he says. “I remembered what you said about it being your favorite place when you were younger, where you felt safe and . . .” He breaks off, looking embarrassed.
Completely without warning, my eyes fill with tears.
“Was it a dumb idea?” Noah asks, looking at me. “Oh crap, you’re crying. It was a dumb idea. I’m sorry, I—”
“No,” I interrupt. “It’s one of the nicest things anyone’s ever done for me.”
Noah smiles. “Seriously?”
“Yes.” I look up at him. “Thank you for listening to me. For remembering what I say to you.”
Noah frowns. “Why wouldn’t I remember?” He grabs my hand. “Wait till you see what’s inside.”
Giggling, I follow him over to the tent. He’s pinned a handwritten sign to one of the blankets.
THIS HERE IS PENNY’S TENT. KEEP OUT!
. . . unless your name is Noah.
He pulls back an opening in the blanket and gestures at me to go in. I get down on my knees and crawl inside. The entire floor is covered in different-colored cushions and the edges are lit by a string of fairy lights that are fading in and out. In one corner there’s a tray of Sadie Lee’s homemade mince pies. In another corner there’s a tray with a jug of lemonade and a couple of glasses.
“This is amazing,” I say, as Noah crawls in after me.
“Are you sure?” He looks at me with such intensity, as if he’s trying to read my mind, to make sure that I’m telling the truth.
“Yes! It’s way better than the tents I used to make. I never had fairy lights for a start.”
Noah grins.
“Or a—” I break off, embarrassed.
“Or a what?”
He stares at me. We’re so close I can feel his breath on my face.
“Or a handsome prince.” I look down at the cushions.
“Penny?”
I look back up at him. He’s looking really serious.
“Yes?”
“I really like you.”
“I really like you too.”
“No, I mean, really like you. I like you so much it might even be . . .”
I look at him, willing him to say it.