"I'm sorry," I said.
"Huh? What? Why?"
"If I hadn't come on this tour, none of this would've happened. Then you wouldn't have the worry."
He sat up, lightly holding my shoulders.
"Don't ever blame yourself. This is your job. You should be able to do your job without some bastard attacking you. You're on his tour but you're not his property."
That much was true.
"I was still stupid. I should've stayed well away from him."
"Alice, it's his fault. All of it is his fault. The guy is a total jerk."
Savage stood up and started pacing the room.
"You'll probably hate me for this but I want you off the tour. Come back with me. Your editor will have to understand. I know you take your job seriously but you can't stay around a guy who tried to rape you. No one would expect that from you. You might think I'm overbearing and trying to take control of your life, but this one thing I want."
Every argument I could make fell away. I'd known this tour was a mistake from the moment I'd gotten on that bus. I didn't want to do the job. But pulling out of a commitment because I wanted to be with my boyfriend was one thing, pulling out because I'd been attacked was a whole other thing.
Savage was right. I'd have stayed on this tour just to prove my point but that would never work.
I'd been trying to hide from the truth, thinking I could take today off then go on with the tour like nothing had happened. The truth was, I'd feel sick to my stomach every time I saw Molloy. Even being in this room with the door locked didn't make me feel safe. The only thing I wanted was to get far away.
I nodded.
"You'll come with me?"
"I'll come with you."
Alice
EVEN LEAVING THE MOTEL grounds made me shaky. Rationally, I knew no one was around but I had a fear that someone from the tour would try to stop me. I didn't want to see any of them. I didn't want to talk to them. I didn't want people asking me questions.
I just wanted to get out of this place. Since I'd gotten here, everything had gone wrong.
Savage carried my bag to the cab. Soon, that miserable motel and all the shit of this tour would be just a blur behind us. That's exactly where I wanted them.
"How did you know?" I asked Savage, once we were on the way to the airport.
He sighed.
"Is this another thing you'll think I'll get angry about?"
"Yep."
"I'm not an angry person." I inched my hand along the seat until my fingertips touched his.
"I had someone watching you."
He had his head down, as though he expected to get reproached by me. It was just as I'd expected.
"Frankie?"
"How did you know?"
"Dude, I'm not an idiot. The guy came in like a knight in shining armor to rescue me. He's a nice guy but he doesn't have telepathy."
He squeezed my hand and I edged closer to him.
"It's good to see you," he said. "I didn't get a chance to say that before."
"It's good to see you too."
That was an understatement. I'd huddled under my blankets all day not even having the energy to watch Netflix. I hadn't been capable of making a single decision.
But now all that had been swept aside. Maybe this would be career suicide but I would've never survived staying on that tour. Even though I'd told myself to tough it out, deep down I'd known I'd never manage it. I'd just needed someone to tell me it was okay to leave.
All my life, I'd never quit a thing once I'd started. I believed all those sayings about quitters never winning. I stuck things out to the bitter end, no matter what. But there were times when quitting was the only option.
Then something occurred to me.
"Your show tonight?"
"I cancelled it."
"Hell."
"It's okay."
He could say that but cancelling a show this early in the tour would not look good. Too many people wanted to see him fail. I should've thought of that. I should've thought of a lot of things.
"It's only one show," he added.
"It's one show too many. You have to make sure you do the rest of the tour. You can't let your fans down."
"I'm sure they'd understand if they knew."
"But they don't know. There are always people who will think the worst."
He put his arm around me and I rested my head on his shoulder. We didn't talk for the rest of the ride. We didn't need to, we just needed to have our bodies touching.
We got to the airport and checked in.
I wasn't sure we should be checking in together but Savage didn't seem to care about us being seen.
"We're flying first class?" I said when we got in the queue.
"Of course," Savage said. "I can't fly economy. I'm too famous."
"Wanker."
We walked to the first-class lounge.
"It's true. I'd get bothered the whole time. Anyway, I can afford it, so why not? Hey, ever thought about joining the mile-high club?"
I tried to tell if he was serious or not.
"No way. We can't. People will know and..."
He drew me to him, his arms around me, and talked quietly into my ear.
"If you are a bit shaken from that whole Molloy thing, I can back off for a while."
He really was serious this time. His words almost made me cry again.
"I'm fine," I told him.
"I mean it, don't force yourself to make me happy. If you need time, you have all the time in the world. I'm happy just to be with you, even if it means holding you tight or whatever. The sex is only a small part of it."
The words Savage said meant more than I could ever tell him. My heart sang from the nearness of him.
"It might be a small part for you," I told him. "But I'm pretty eager to catch up on missed time."
I pulled away from him. We shouldn't be touching like this in public. Even if I was eager to be with him, a busy airport was no place for getting intimate. We might be in the lounge with all those rich people but even rich bastards aren't immune to posting celebrity gossip.
We boarded the plane and wow, first class. The seats were huge. I couldn't even reach the seat in front of me if I wanted to. Dating a pop star had some advantages.
I stretched out.
"I'm a wanker, right?" Savage said, laughing at me reveling in the luxury.
"Well, I can see there are some advantages to this."
Just as I said that, the cabin crew arrived with glasses of champagne. I could definitely get used to this.
The only thing I didn't like about it was there was a whole solid console between the seats, not an armrest you could easily raise. That imposed a distance between Savage and me.
He took hold of my hand.
"It's going to be okay," I said.
I wasn't even sure myself what I meant - me or us or the whole thing.
The future stretched out before me, more uncertain than it ever had been in my life but, for the next few hours, I didn't need to think about anything. I had a crew to feed me when I got hungry, a warm blanket to cover me and the best man in the world to hold my hand. If that didn't make everything okay, nothing would.
Savage
ALICE HADN'T BEEN JOKING. As soon as we got back to my hotel, she pulled my shirt off.
"Sometimes I think you just want me for sex," I said.
"Not just for sex, but the sex is good. We've been together for hours without touching. I can be strong, but not that strong."
Then she kissed me, so the words I had to say got lost.
We made it to the bed, clutching at each other, ripping each other's clothes off. Having her in my arms was a million times better than talking on the phone. I'd forgotten how sweet she smelt. The touch of her and the look of pure lust in her eyes was almost more than I could take.
"I need you," I said. "I need you so much."
"I need you too. I missed you every minute of every day we
were apart."
The sight of the bruises on her body made me wish I'd killed Molloy. Anger boiled up inside me again. I pushed it away because I wanted to focus my attention on pleasing her. No way would I waste my thoughts on him, when I had her beautiful body here with me. Those angry thoughts could wait.
She trailed butterfly kisses down my stomach. She got me so hard, I could barely stand it. When those kisses moved to my cock, I thought I'd explode. As much as I enjoyed it her mouth doing its magic down there, I pulled her up beside me. I wanted our bodies touching and her skin against mine.
I kissed her gently, much more gently than I wanted. I needed to rein in my desire. I wanted this to last forever.
When I got to her nipple, she flinched.
"Sorry."
"It's just a bit tender."
My heart ached for her. I licked the tender skin, wishing I could heal her with just my touch.
She arched her body toward me. I was so glad she was willing. I'd been telling the truth when I'd told her I'd wait until she was ready but I much preferred that she let me please her. I wanted to make sure this wiped away all the horrific touches she'd endured. If that meant tenderly licking every part of her, I was more than happy to do that.
I moved down lower but she pulled me to her. We both needed to feel our bodies pressed together. She laid on her side, her body melding to mine.
I ran my hand down her side. She shuddered and moaned. Then I moved my hand to her leg, trailing my fingers along her thigh. She hooked her leg over mine, opening herself up to me. I slowly moved my hand to her butt, drawing her leg up to my waist.
She'd become so eager for my touch but I toyed with her, running my fingers along her slit.
My cock nudged her, wanting her attention. She wrapped her hand around it.
Then I slowly spread her open, pushing my fingers into her wetness.
When my fingers found her clit, she gave a gasp. The sexy smile spread over her face.
It only took minutes before she screamed my name.
Alice
"WE HAVE TO GET OUT of bed some time," I said. "You need to do a show tonight."
Savage sighed. He'd put on an extra show, rescheduling the one he'd cancelled.
"I guess I do."
I laughed. He seemed so reluctant.
"But I'll be waiting for you as soon as you get off stage."
"That makes it so much more worthwhile."
He gave me a cheeky grin.
"It'll be weird."
"Huh?"
"I've not been to a show in years without my camera. Just watching stuff with my eyes, I'm not used to that."
My camera had been smashed beyond repair. I had a spare but even so, I wasn't on this tour in an official capacity.
"Molloy should compensate you for the camera. And for the lost income for the rest of the tour."
Shit, the dream-like euphoria began to dissolve. I had to call Eleanor and tell her I'd left the tour. I had to tell her before anyone else did. It was unlikely anyone had even noticed yet. I'd only been gone for one day but, as soon as they started packing up and moving out, it'd be totally obvious.
I tried to explain things clearly but she didn't take it well.
"You can't just leave the tour."
"Did you hear what I said? What he did?" I tried to control my voice.
Savage tidied up the room. I think more as a way to keep busy while I was on the phone than from any need to clean. A scowl came over his face.
"Things like that happen on tour. I thought you could look after yourself. You can't just run off when things get a bit out of hand."
"Things weren't 'a bit out of hand.' He tried to rape me. He would've succeeded too, if the roadie hadn't stepped in. The guy is a pig. He has no respect for anyone."
"I don't care. I have no fucks to give about the guy's personality. We need photos for the article and his management need stuff for their social media and other PR. If you leave the tour, what happens then?"
I had a head full of things to say. I would never have called Eleanor a friend but I did expect some back up on this. It wasn't like I'd just flaked.
Then I realized no matter what I said, she wouldn't listen. I was just wasting my time.
"I don't really care what happens. Fuck him. Fuck him and his tour. No photos for social media? Whatever. He's damn lucky I'm not going public with this."
"Don't you dare go public. You'll only make yourself look bad." Eleanor sighed. "He's cancelled shows for the next few days for some reason. That gives you five days to get your shit together and get back on that tour."
Savage sat down beside me, giving me courage. Without his support, I might've caved.
"I've got my shit together. I will not rejoin that tour under any circumstances. Even if I wanted to, Molloy smashed my camera. I've only got my spare but no lenses, nothing."
The smashed camera hurt me a lot. I'd had that camera forever. My parents had bought it for my birthday when I was a teenager and, as soon as I'd had it in my hands, I'd known this was it. This was what I needed in my life.
We'd been through so much together. I knew it was only a material thing but it was my favorite material thing. The fact that he'd smashed it up in a rage like that just made him even more of a pig.
"I guess I can get someone else to take over. I'll mail you with the legal stuff, since you're breaking your contract."
I sighed when I got off the phone. At least I'd gotten it over with.
"Didn't go well?" Savage asked.
"Nope. Not at all."
"Don't let them screw you over. Fight. If you need a lawyer, we'll get one. We'll get a whole team of lawyers. She can't blacklist you. And, if she does, we'll think of something. The two of us together. We will win because when we're together, we are stronger than anyone."
I smiled at him. It might be crazy but I believed him.
Alice
WHEN I GOT OUT OF THE shower, Savage was fully dressed. That disappointed me. I'd been hoping for more bed time before we went in for the show.
"Get your clothes on, love. We're going shopping."
That didn't fill me with enthusiasm. I hated shopping.
"Hurry up," he said, "because you look so damn tempting in that towel but this is important."
"I don't need anything," I told him. "I have everything I need right there."
"Yeah, maybe, but I think you're going to like this."
That got me intrigued. There wasn't much I liked better than sex with Savage. I threw on a clean t-shirt and my jeans, which probably weren't that clean. Then I dried my hair and tied it back in a ponytail and slapped on a bit of makeup.
"Will this do?"
"Yes, you look gorgeous."
I wasn't so sure about that but passable was enough for me. Still, when Savage said I looked gorgeous, it made me feel gorgeous.
"I've got them to shut the shop down for an hour so we have to hurry."
Wow, you could do that? People would shut down their whole shop for you? I would never get used to Savage's level of fame. I spent my life around rockers but, as soon as the photos were done, my involvement with them ended. I'd never thought about their personal lives to that extent.
We got a cab across town.
"Is it clothes?" I asked.
"Nope, but we can go clothes shopping some time."
I'd rather not but I didn't want to say that to him.
"Is it shoes?"
"No."
"Perfume?"
He shook his head. Then he turned to look out the window to hide his grin. That infuriated me. I hated secrets.
Finally, we pulled up outside a store.
I jumped out of the cab and gazed at the window display like a kid at Christmas.
A camera store.
Not just any store but this place seemed like it had everything I could ever dream of.
"Knock yourself out," he said.
"I couldn't..."
"I mean it. Anything you
want, you can have. Cameras, lenses, weird shit that I have no idea about."
"I do need a couple of lenses."
"Don't do that thing where you think you can't spend my money. I have more money than I'll ever need and watching you spend it will give me more happiness than the money ever will."
He could say that but I wasn't about to get all grabby-hands. I'd get the basics so I could work again. That was it.
He took me by the shoulders.
"Stop thinking that. I can read you. I want to fulfil your every camera-buying fantasy. So, go, shop."
I laughed, still not convinced.
We walked into the shop and one of the staff locked the door behind us.
"What's your best camera?" Savage asked. "The best, the most expensive, the absolute greatest?"
The woman got out a box and sat it on the counter. I looked at it, then told her what I actually needed. The most expensive wouldn't do the job. I needed something I could work with.
While we talked, Savage walked around the shop, grabbing things and putting him in a pile. A useless pile. The man might know music but he obviously had no idea about photography.
I sorted the pile into the things to keep and the really useless junk that he'd just randomly picked up.
"Ah, this frame?"
I held up a photo frame with all cutesy love hearts around it. It said, "I lurve you" in handwriting across the bottom.
"That's definitely staying," he said. "We are going to take a photo of us and put it in that frame. And I will carry it everywhere."
The dude was such a softie. And, even though the frame was way too cutesy, I loved the idea. I loved that he wanted to do that.
While I was looking at things, Savage pulled out my old camera.
"Can you fix this?" he asked them.
The woman called a man from the back of the store. They both looked my camera over.
Finally, the man screwed up his face and shook his head.
My heart sank. Of course, they couldn't fix it.
"We can but it'd cost more than buying a new one and it might take us quite a while."
"No matter how much it costs, I want it fixed," Savage said. "It's her camera and it means a lot to her."
Rock Mayhem: 8 Complete Rock Star Romance Novels Page 18