Before three hours had passed, the rest of the guys had returned to the hotel. I could hear them even before I saw them. Damn bands making a commotion. As he walked through the lobby, Elijah shot me a look, but I just shrugged. Elijah kept walking.
I could ask Crow the address of their rehearsal space, but I refused to stoop that low. I had to maintain some pride. Anyway, if I rushed there, I might cross them on the way back. Or they could be somewhere else. Anywhere in this city. Waiting in the lobby was the best option. She had to return sometime.
I was pretty sure the autograph girls had walked through the lobby more times than necessary. They had other people with them, too. I didn't pay them much attention, and even though they kept glancing in my direction, they didn't bother me again.
My head got heavy, and, despite my determination to watch that damn door, I must've dozed off. One of the staff shook me awake.
"I'm afraid you can't sleep here," he said. "You'll have to go to your room."
I shook my head, trying to clear my thoughts, not sure where I was at first. The hotel lobby? Yep. Still no Polly, though. Unless she'd slipped by while I was sleeping.
"Sorry, sir, but we need to get you to leave the lobby. We've been trying to ensure your privacy, but it's becoming a bit difficult."
As the befuddlement left my brain, I followed his gaze. A group of about 20 girls on the other side of the lobby, a rope barrier had been erected around them. The two autograph girls stood in the middle of the group.
When my gaze hit them, a couple of the girls screamed. That was bullshit. I could see why the staff were concerned. Those girls were causing a nuisance for the other guests.
I apologized.
"No problem. It's just that the group is getting larger, and we were worried they might do something..."
I nodded and stood up. More screams from those girls.
"Damo, marry me!" one of them screamed as I walked to the elevator.
I wondered if, ever in the history of the world, a proposal like that had had any effect. It seemed unlikely.
"Where's Polly?" one of them shouted.
That was the question. Where was she? Those groupies knew as much as I did.
"Are you dating her? Please don't date her."
"She's a bitch."
I'd been so wrapped up in my own problems, I had no idea what'd been going on with social media since Miles had dropped his bombshell. It made sense that people thought we were dating. We hadn't denied it, and Polly hadn't officially left the tour. I pressed the button for the elevator, thinking the fangirls would soon get bored and leave.
Then I heard screams. Ear-piercing screams, like the world was ending.
"There she is!" someone shrieked.
I turned to see Polly entering the lobby. Then all hell broke loose.
Polly
WE HAD TO BE PERFECT before we left the rehearsal space. It was now or never, with the audition in the morning. Preferably not "never".
"Once more," I said.
"I'm getting my scarf," Fay said. "Otherwise, I'll die of hypothermia before we ever get to play."
The heating had stopped working in the rehearsal studio, and it felt like an icebox, but I wasn't leaving until we'd done one last run-through.
The thought of seeing Damo again tomorrow made my belly feel like lead. How would he respond? Would he be angry or cold? I'd put good money on cold. At least his coldness would be fair. He wouldn't let his emotions sway him. Still, he'd be judging us. Our future was in his hands. If it'd been like that at the start, before we'd ever joined the tour, I'd have been more than happy to audition for him, but this audition was different. It seemed to me that it wasn't just our music being judged, but me, as a person.
I'd play it cool. I could be as cool and emotionless as he was. I'd been working on it as hard as I'd worked on the music. My heart might be breaking on the inside, but on the outside with Jax and Fay, I'd been all sunshine and smiles. There'd been one morning in the shower when I'd let myself cry, but my tears had washed away with the shower water and no one had seen them, so that didn't count.
I'd timed leaving and returning to the hotel so we'd have little chance of running into Damo. I tried not to look for him. I tried not to think of him. Every time he entered my mind, I pushed those thoughts away. I had to focus on my playing.
I'd only played guitar on our songs before, in rehearsal or mucking around. Miles hated me doing it. But it hadn't taken that long to pick up the basics. Trouble was, I wanted to be way, way beyond the basics.
"Okay, let's be perfect," I said when Fay came back.
"Did you hear about Damo?" she asked.
My chest tightened. What the hell had happened? My mind raced through every possible scenario, the worst possible things.
She had that look on her face like she was bursting with the news she was holding in, but at her age, she was like that about everything. A broken nail, a bad score in her game.
"Tell me."
"The show tonight--it was a disaster," she said, all wide-eyed. "He couldn't play. He fucked up onstage. Man, even someone like him can bum out."
"Says who?" I asked her. I hoped she was exaggerating. Damo never fucked up.
She held out her phone and showed me the report. Hell, it was true. It wasn't a totally bad review, but it did mention Damo not being with it.
Jax exchanged looks with me. I knew what he was thinking. This was my fault. Damo never made mistakes. He was the consummate performer. Always focused, always working it. I'd screwed that.
I put down the guitar. I was still using the loaner one because I'd had no time to go out and buy one. Good thing I hadn't wasted my money.
"Let's go back to the hotel," I said. I sounded grim even to myself.
"Huh? We were doing another run-through."
I hated to voice my feelings, but I had to be fair to Jax and Fay. "I'm pulling out of the tour."
I'd said it. I might be the world's biggest bitch doing that to them, but I had to. I couldn't go on pretending I should be here when I'd just caused pain for Damo. Everything I'd done had hurt him. He'd have never screwed up onstage unless he was in a whole world of pain. I'd been the reason the rumors had started. I'd punched Miles, and I'd been the one who'd turned the whole tour into a media circus, and that would never stop while I was around.
I waited for both of them to scream at me--punch me, even. But nothing.
"If that's the way you feel," Jax said. "I know I tried to talk you out of quitting before, but you've had time to think things through. I don't agree, but I'll respect your decision."
Fay pouted. "I hate your decision, but I'm still in the band, right? I get to play with you guys even if it's not a European tour?"
I nodded.
"And I got to come to Berlin. It's been a fun adventure. You do what you need to do, Polly. I haven't even been around to have a vote in this. So, can we leave soon? This freezing hell, I mean, not Berlin, 'cause I need get a hot drink."
I rushed over and hugged them both close to me, my decision to be unemotional be damned. These two were the best. I loved having this band with no egos and no bitchiness.
"God, Polly, your hands are like icicles," Jax said. "We need to get out of here. And screw it, get a real cab. I'm not waiting outside in the freezing cold for hours for a damn Uber."
Now that I'd made the decision, all I wanted to do was tell Damo. Even though sending him a text was tempting as hell, I knew I had to do it face-to-face. I couldn't be pathetic enough to not face him. He'd be asleep by now, though, so it'd have to wait until morning. I'd never sleep tonight, even though my body was drooping with exhaustion. My mind would never stop.
Luckily, the cab came fast. Now that I'd stopped playing, the cold really hit me.
"God, there's a crowd at the hotel," Jax said as we pulled up. "Something going on in town that we don't know about?"
"Nothing I can think of," I said. "But I'm as out of the loop as you are."
"I've checked all
the 'what's on' listings," Fay said. "Nothing much happening except The Freaks' tour."
There'd been a few girls loitering around the hotel while we were there. Not anything to worry about, just a few groupies desperate for a glimpse of the guys. Other than that, the place had been pretty chill.
We got out of the cab and headed into the hotel. Hopefully, we could get through the crowd and up to our rooms without a fuss.
"There she is!" someone screamed as I walked in the door.
Huh? What was happening?
I didn't have time to process a damn thing before a mob swooped in on me. They pushed me to the floor. I screamed, but my screams just mixed into the cacophony of screaming all around me. These girls were vicious and bloodthirsty, and they were all gunning for me.
Someone pulled my hair. Someone else kicked me.
I called out again. Without meaning to, I called Damo's name. Not that he'd hear me. He'd be upstairs, asleep in his bed.
Before they stuck again, I got my hands up to protect my face. All I could see around me were legs and feet. Hands reached out for me, striking blows. Pain pounded through my body.
I heard Fay scream. I hoped she was okay. I couldn't do a damn thing to protect her.
If I could curl into a ball, I'd be safer, but I had no room to move. I couldn't get to my feet. I couldn't even fight back. There were a mob, and they wanted my blood.
I wasn't sure how long I'd been on the floor, but I heard some authoritative voices, and the blows stopped. Even though the attack had stopped, I didn't want to get to my feet. I had no idea where they'd come from.
"Leave Damo alone!" I heard someone yell as they got dragged off.
Stupid girl. That's what I'd intended to do. She didn't need to attack me.
Then strong arms closed around me, picked me up off the floor and carried me somewhere. I couldn't open my eyes, but I knew that scent. Maybe I'd gone into some kind of hallucinative coma, but I could swear it was Damo.
Damo
THOSE CRAZED GROUPIES had all been corralled into a corner of the lobby until the police could arrive. I lifted Polly up and carried her over to one of the sofas. I wanted to take her to my room, but first I wanted to be sure she was okay, no bones broken, that kind of thing. If need be, I'd take her to the nearest hospital.
The hotel manager came over to me as I was examining her, and a young girl rushed to her side. I tried to push her away, thinking she was one of the groupies.
"Let me go. I need to know if she's hurt," the girl said.
Then Jax came over to join us. "It's okay. She's Polly's cousin."
I barely took that in. I'd expected Polly's cousin to be older. And a guy.
"Fine, but we need to clear some space around her." I glared at the hotel manager. He seemed the most superfluous one here.
"We need to know if you want to press charges," the hotel manager said. "It could get complicated."
I hesitated, still more concerned about Polly than anything else. She gave a little groan, and I reached for her hand, then gave it a little squeeze to reassure her.
"We won't be pressing charges." Fartstard had popped up beside me. Another superfluous person.
"We won't?" I glared at him. He couldn't make a decision like that.
"There's no way we can make this look good. It'll be a PR nightmare. It's easier just to let these girls go. They were a bit high-spirited, but no harm done."
I looked down at Polly's bruised face. If they hadn't been stopped, God knew what they'd have done to her. That wasn't high spirits, that was criminal spirits. If they got away this time, they'd be just as violent in the future. Also, screw them. I wanted them charged. I wanted someone to lock them up and throw away the key. They'd tried to destroy the most precious thing in my life.
"No harm done? You are fucking kidding me." My voice rose as a weight pressed against my chest. "They could've killed her. Nobody's getting away with that."
"Whoa, Damo, steady on," Fartstard said, putting his hands up.
The urge to punch something became almost overwhelming, and Fartstard was the nearest thing to me. I couldn't punch those girls, but if he insisted on letting them leave, he'd be my target.
"We need to be calm."
"Screw calm," I told him.
He tried to touch me, and I pushed him. He stumbled across the lobby. I'd had enough of being calm. Being cold and rational only gets you so far in this life. Then I walked over to where the girls were standing.
"What the hell did you think you were doing?" I demanded, shifting my gaze around them. "Are you senseless, the whole damn lot of you? The police will be here soon, and there's no way I'm letting any of you off. You will not get away with this."
They cringed but didn't say anything, just mumbled. Not one of them even looked repentant.
I needed to get back to Polly.
"You're too good for her!" one of them yelled out.
I spun around. "Well, I'm sure as hell too good for you. Crazy bitches, attacking someone like that. You call yourselves my fans? Well, don't bother with that any more. Don't come to the concerts. Don't buy our music. Just fuck off, the lot of you. Maybe go spend some time in therapy."
There was a chatter of voices after that, nothing distinguishable.
Polly groaned, and I rushed to her.
"Get something to clean this blood up," I said to the manager. "NOW!"
The manager scurried off.
I cradled Polly's head in my arm. "Are you okay?" I asked her.
She looked so frail and broken, but I knew she was tougher than that. She could survive this.
"I'm fine," she said. Then she grimaced as she tried to stand up. "My guitar hands are still working."
She flexed her fingers to prove it. I smiled at her.
"Fuck. I can't be here. I can't be with you," she said, rising to her feet. She took off, unsteady on her feet as she walked away from me across the lobby.
"It's okay," I said.
"No. I'm leaving. I'm leaving the tour. I need to get away."
She was walking off, but I couldn't let her go. Not like this. Not without telling her how I felt.
Damo
"WAIT!" I YELLED.
I didn't want her to leave. Hell, that was the last thing I wanted. I jumped up and chased her.
"Polly, stop. We need to talk."
She kept walking. I wasn't even sure she should be on her feet. If I didn't let her know how I felt now, the moment would pass, and she'd hate me forever.
I grabbed hold of her hand, but she shook me off.
"There's nothing to talk about. You want me off the tour? Fine. I'm off. Maybe we're both better off that way." She wiped her eyes with the back of her hand. "It's not like the thing between us meant anything. At least not to you."
I had no words to explain how I felt, so I swept her into my arms, hugging her as tight as I could. At first, she struggled.
"It's okay," I said, smoothing her hair.
"It's not okay. I've ruined everything. I heard about tonight's show. I can't be around you if it's going to hurt you."
"It's okay," I said again.
She relaxed, melding against my body.
"I'm sorry, Damo. I'm sorry I caused a scene onstage. I'm sorry I embarrassed you. I just can't..."
She put her head on my shoulder.
"You don't need to apologize. I was too harsh. I don't deal well with people. I've distanced myself from the world for so long, I need to learn to be more human. I'm the one who's sorry."
She started to say something, but I remembered what Elijah had said: to kiss the words into her.
My lips found hers. I needed her, and I wanted her beside me forever. Those were the words I put into that kiss. I'd need to tell her in real, actual words at some time, but for now, kissing her was saying enough.
She responded the same way, her kiss telling me that she forgave me. That I was the only thing she cared about. The two of us were such opposites, but we could be stronger
together than we'd ever be apart. I didn't want to change or tame the wild side of her. I wanted to embrace it.
When we finally broke apart, her eyes shone.
"Damo, you might be one of the most annoying people I've ever met, but I'd rather be annoyed by you than be with anyone else in this world. I don't know if that's going to overwhelm you and send you running, but I have to be honest about how I feel. Otherwise, I can't do this."
I gave a little laugh. "That's all I want. You and me together. If you can put up with all my faults, that is."
"I think I can try," she said, then pressed her teeth into her bottom lip. Then she broke out in a smile.
That pretty smile. Those liquid eyes. That warm feeling that filled my body when she was about--those were all things I couldn't live without. That would make a great song, but right now, songs could wait. I needed to kiss her again.
This time, the kiss held no words, just a fuck-ton of unreleased passion.
Her body rubbed against mine. The two of us just fit. That much was true.
I nuzzled against her neck, and she moaned softly. I'd thought I'd never hear that sound again, I realized as I ran my hands down her body. I worshipped this woman. It wasn't a feeling I was used to, to have another human being be so precious to me, but I'd prove it to her every moment of every day. She'd melted the coldness in my heart.
I wasn't sure when it had happened, but I had her backed up against the wall, and her leg was wrapped around me. I ran my hand up her thigh, and she laughed breathlessly.
"Are you okay?" I asked. "It's not hurting?"
The last thing I wanted was to make her injuries worse.
"It's okay," she said. "I'm sore, but nothing's broken."
All the love and forgiveness wrapped up in her smile shot straight to my heart.
The world disappeared. All I knew was the softness of her flesh and the beautiful scent of her arousal. I was inches away from slipping my fingers into that heat, totally unaware of anything but her. Nothing mattered but seeing the look of satisfaction on her face when I made her come.
"What the hell is going on here?"
I spun around.
Rock Mayhem: 8 Complete Rock Star Romance Novels Page 51