“Yeah.” He falls silent as awkwardness swells between us. He breaks eye contact and reads the menu board. “I’ll have a caramel macchiato.”
“I’ll make it,” Jill pipes up. She had been so quiet I forgot she was there. Funny how she didn’t disappear on me this time.
I suck in my fear and address the elephant in the room. “Look, Mark, I feel as if I owe you an apology.”
He holds his palm up. “No need. It was a long time ago. I am sorry for the way things turned out. That must’ve been hard for you.”
“Thank you. It hasn’t been easy. Even though his job contained risks, it still came as a shock.”
“I’m around if you need anything.” The door chimes and Nate walks in. “Although I think you may have that area covered.” Mark winks, and I feel the warmth spreading across my cheeks. Does everyone think something is going on between us? It’s so getting back to his mother.
“Thanks, Mark. I appreciate the offer. Even though things ended between us, we did have our share of fun.”
My words bring a grateful smile to his face. “That we did.”
“A caramel macchiato for a Mark,” Jill calls out.
I roll my eyes as Mark chuckles.
“I best get going. Feel free to kick my dad out anytime. The freeloader.”
“You got it.”
Mark shifts to grab his coffee. He meets Nate on his way out. They exchange friendly hellos, and a sense of relief washes through me. That meeting could have gone a lot worse. I’m glad we’ve matured. Maybe it won’t be so bad when I run into his mom.
Nate steps to the counter, and my heart skitters. He looks exceptionally fine today. His dark hair is orderly, and sides shaved close, slightly longer on top. A five o’clock shadow dusts his squared jaw. Oh, what that stubble would feel like scrapping against my inner thighs. That thought alone has those thighs in question clenching. I may not be able to act upon it, but I can allow my imagination to go wild, which is what I’ve done this past week in bed. Nate gives me plenty of material to keep me going while I fulfill those needs.
I greet him with a genuine smile, but my voice comes out raspier than intended. “Your regular?”
“Yes, please.” Nate leans over the counter and hands me his money. His clean scent competes with the coffee beans. It’s intoxicating. I’ve deduced he runs every morning and showers before coming here.
“What’s on today’s agenda?” he asks while I pour his coffee.
“Same as every day. Pick up the kids, cook, and study.” Next week will bring the change in my schedule with him helping out. Until then, it’s the same routine. I cock my head to the side and hand his drink to him. “I still owe you that meal. I sort of suck at repaying debts.”
“You suck, huh?”
“Maybe.” I draw my mouth into a smirk as his eyes dilate and darken to a deeper brown.
“Hmm, a form of punishment may be in order.”
Holy hell.
As if on cue, my nipples harden from the suggestion, and breathing has now become impossible. Jill chokes on her cough in the distance, but I can’t focus on her. I direct my attention at Nate. We’ve had a few flirtatious moments, but never anything so direct. What kind of punishment does he mean? The sexual kind? Do I want that?
Fuck, I think I do.
What is wrong with me?
He chuckles and leans forward, grabbing his coffee. He places his lips against my ear and says, “The lasagna more than made up for it, but I’d take anything you have to offer.”
With those words, he pivots and heads straight out the door. I’m left slack-jawed, staring after him.
“Oh, honey. Your needs are definitely getting serviced sooner rather than later.”
The rush of fluttering waves capsizing my stomach catches me by surprise. Is that what I actually want? To have my needs serviced by him? Eagerness swells inside me and tells me everything I need to know. Yes. Yes, I do.
Chapter Fifteen
Nate
“Momma, we’re home!” Nick yells and darts toward the kitchen.
I hang by the front door a little stunned by his usage of home and we. I’m sure Nick meant him and his brother, but I can’t deny the effect hearing what he said has on me. I don’t know what shakes me more. The fact he might be including me in his text or that I rather like being included. Other than my military unit, I haven’t belonged to a family in years.
I still don’t.
The voice of reasoning rears its ugly head and keeps me grounded. That is until I catch a whiff of something delicious wafting from the kitchen. The scent stirs a yearning inside me that has no right existing. This isn’t supposed to happen. I don’t belong here. Not with her. Not with this family.
Mackenzie rounds the corner of the kitchen and nearly steals my breath. Her long auburn curls pile atop her head in a messy bun. When she wears her hair this way, it reveals the curves of her neck, that flawless, creamy skin, and the spray of freckles across her nose. She’s so damn beautiful.
“How did it go?” Those green eyes shine with curiosity. It’s the most relaxed I’ve seen Mackenzie since meeting her. My heart does a funny flip from knowing that I helped put that expression there. I did that.
“Mom, we lined up, and Coach had us perform drills. He said I’d be a good striker. I didn’t even have to tell him what position I played. He could tell.” Liam’s enthusiasm brings a smile to my face. But the kid is exceptionally talented.
“That’s great. See, your talent shines no matter where your location is.” She flashes her gaze to me. “He loves being a striker and was worried they’d assign him a different position.”
“Ah.” I love how she feels the need to explain situations to me. She includes me without even trying.
“Did you have any problems?”
“None. I talked to one of the dads I met at the auto shop during the first week in town. Mark Morgan. He seems like a decent guy.”
“That’s great. I know Mark rather well. We graduated with each other.” Her little grimace leads me to believe there’s more behind their story, but I don’t press. She seems nervous enough. She bites her bottom lip and glances toward the kitchen before turning back to face me. Her timid smile softens my stance. “I, uh, made supper. You’re welcome to stay.”
Say no.
“I hate to impose.” My stomach growls as if in protest to my denial, but staying here won’t lead anywhere good. The corners of her mouth lift higher from the sound, and I know I’m kidding myself. I’m not going anywhere. My brain may tell me to leave, but my body caves to the most basic need in human nature—belonging.
And there’s that word again. How that woman reduces me, of all people, to a delicate snowflake is the biggest mystery of all.
“It’s not a problem. Besides, I owe you a meal anyway.”
“I think the lasagna the other night more than made up for it.” Her soft laugh trickles over my skin.
“That was a prelim. Come in and stay. It’s nothing major—spaghetti and meatballs. I seem to have an Italian theme going on.” She winks and spins on her heels. “I need to stir the noodles, though. We’ll have a clumpy mess if I don’t.”
“Yes, ma’am.” I toe off my shoes and follow. Mackenzie heads straight to the stove. I round the island and lean against the countertop opposite her. Maybe with a barrier between us, I won’t be so tempted to touch her. “Is there anything I can help with?”
“Not yet. I’m almost done.”
“From what I saw on the field, Liam’s talented. He seems advanced for this current team.”
Mackenzie sighs as she stirs the noodles. “I’m sure he is. I know he’s my kid, but he really is talented. That’s why I didn’t want him to miss out. I probably need to find a more challenging team, but . . .”
Her voice trails off, and I know where her mind went. She doesn’t have the time nor the energy to exert on finding an advanced team.
“There’s always next year. I think it’s more im
portant for him to make friends right now. He’s still playing with a team. Delaying his advancement by a year won’t hurt,” I say offering as much encouragement as I can, but make a mental note to do some research.
“I’m sure you’re right.”
“Were you able to get some homework done?” I ask, trying to get a sense of normalcy back into the conversation. The last thing I want to do is delve into the reasons behind uprooting him from his previous team.
“I did. Those couple of hours of peace made a huge difference. It helped that I made these meatballs last night.”
“Are you liking the courses?”
“Very much. I forgot how rewarding learning could be. I’m learning skills that will help people.”
My eyes stray to her backside. “It can be gratifying.” I add an, “I’m sure,” to the end because I don’t want to sound too knowledgeable. But she also doesn’t need to know about the areas that aren’t so rewarding. The times when no matter what you do, your best isn’t good enough. The times when good people perish, and there isn’t a damn thing you can do to stop it. Or, worse yet, how their blood is on your hands.
Mackenzie spins around, and the dreamy look in her eyes stirs something deep inside. She shakes her head before her gaze locks and holds with mine. I swear the only sound among us is my rapid heartbeat.
Don’t worry if you fall in love with her. She’s easy to love. Damn it, Ethan. His words not only haunt but taunt me too. That burning in my chest returns. All his complaints through the few years we got to know each other make no sense. I know they got married young. I know he always felt trapped by the burden of having a family. And I know all about his wandering eyes.
Mackenzie deserves so much more than the hand dealt. She’s fucking incredible.
She places the wooden spatula in the spoon holder and sidesteps around me to the refrigerator. I think she’s going to grab something from inside, but she lifts to her tiptoes, stretching to reach the top of the fridge. The griddle she’s trying to grasp scoots just out of her reach.
“Here, let me help.” I react before thinking and sidle next to her. Her body tucks against my side as I stretch to grab the edge. I don’t miss how well she fits against me as if made for me. I also don’t miss her soft intake of air. I quickly grab the griddle and place it on the island.
“I have some bread to make Texas toast,” she says absentmindedly, still looking a bit frazzled. I’d puff my chest out knowing I caused this visceral reaction, but I have to admit. I feel a bit dazed myself.
“I can take care of the toast if there’s something else you need to do.”
“Thanks. The supplies are over there.” She points to the countertop behind me. She beelines to the stove and stirs the sauce with the spoon.
“I needed to thank you for cleaning my house the other night.”
“I was keeping myself busy.”
“Still, it was nice. I don’t have a lot of time for domestic chores right now.” She shoots me a sideways grin. “At least that’s my excuse.”
“You don’t need to explain it to me. I know how hard you work. I don’t mind taking care of a few things.” Or taking care of you.
Appreciation settles behind those shiny bright eyes, but I swear, there’s a hint of desire. Or maybe, that’s my reflection staring back because I want this woman. Inappropriate or not, I can’t deny what she does to me. What I wouldn’t give to have her glossy lips wrapped around my cock while those green eyes stare up at me. God, I want to bend her over this counter and sink balls deep into her tight pussy until she’s screaming my name as she milks me dry.
And this is why I’m going to burn in hell.
When Ethan told me to take care of his wife, I highly doubt he meant fantasizing about fucking her.
“You know, I assumed you were single. I should’ve asked if there was any woman in your life.”
“No. There’s no woman.”
“Has there ever been a Mrs. Dixon?”
“No. I’m married to the country.” Having dedicated my life to the army, I’ve spent countless days and nights attending to the wounded. I’ve seen too many sights I’d rather forget. There hasn’t been any time for me, let alone a particular woman. But Mackenzie standing in front of me, I can see what I’ve been missing. For the first time in my life, I stand here questioning my choices.
Her nose scrunches. “Like an environmentalist?”
I laugh and cross my arms over my chest. “Something like that. My last job demanded a lot of my time. Let’s just say I was ready for a break.”
“Hopefully, you’ll find what you need in Sunnyville.”
Our gazes hold. “Things are looking good.”
She presses her lips together as a pink blush creeps across her cheeks. She averts her attention back to the noodles, breaths shallow. “I think supper is ready.”
This moment proved, the more time we spend together, the more my willpower weakens. I’m only so strong when it comes to this woman, and I’ve tested my strength enough tonight. I need to leave after we eat. I’m not sure how much longer I’ll be able to hold off.
Chapter Sixteen
Mackenzie
“Remember, don’t tell Mom that Mr. Morgan bought us ice cream. She won’t be happy,” Nick says.
I hold back a laugh and hang by the kitchen as Nate and the kids enter the house. One week of Nate taking Liam to practice is in the bag. I keep waiting for him to ditch this new gig or for him to tell me he bit off more than he can chew, but it hasn’t happened yet. He surprises me, considering he isn’t used to a family dynamic.
“Mum’s the word. But I bet she’d understand. It’d be rude to turn down Mark when he went to so much trouble,” Nate says.
“Yeah, Toby’s dad seems awesome. He’s always taking Toby to different places. My dad never did anything like that.” The matter-of-fact way Liam says this grabs my attention. I hold my breath, waiting for Nate’s response.
“Maybe because he wasn’t home much, what time he had with you, he didn’t want to share with anyone else.”
“I guess. Can I tell you the truth?”
“You can always tell me the truth. In fact, I prefer it.”
“I didn’t know my dad. Not really.”
The dejection in Liam’s voice shatters my heart. I thought our talk had helped, but let’s face it, he never got to know Ethan. I can use being in the military as an excuse, but that would justify Ethan’s actions. When he was home, he never attempted to get to know either of his sons. I step forward, ready to pull my baby in my arms—to shield him from the pain—but Nate’s words stop me in my tracks.
“He was a great guy.”
“How would you know?”
Nate is quiet for a moment. It’s as if he’s trying to formulate the right thing to say from the balancing act he’s gotten himself in. I barely breathe, waiting for his response.
“I can see him through you. From what I see, he had to be a great person.”
Good answer. Although I think Nate’s giving Ethan too much credit. Swallowing back my malicious thoughts, I form my lips into a smile and make my presence known.
“I thought I heard you guys come home.” I direct my gaze toward Nate. He gives me an appreciative nod. I can’t tell if he knows I overheard his conversation, but I remain stoic, not giving anything away. Why address it? It does no good. “Why don’t you boys get cleaned up. We’re having dinner on the patio.”
“Yes! Outdoor picnic.” Nick runs down the hall to the bathroom with Liam not far behind.
I turn to Nate. “You’re staying, right?”
“You’re going to spoil me.”
This past week, we fell into a routine. Nate picks up the boys and takes them to the park, while I work on my homework and fix dinner. He leaves after we eat, then we rinse and repeat for the next practice time. The only exception is when I go to my clinical. He buys the boys a pizza and brings them back to the house. Maybe it’s wrong depending on him this much so soon, but
without him, I don’t know what I would’ve done. He’s been a godsend. Sure, I don’t know every bit of his history, but he doesn’t know mine either. To be fair, we haven’t had time to explore.
But I plan on changing that. It’s Friday night, and I don’t have to work tomorrow. I want him to stay longer. I’m in dire need of some adult company. There’s no other person I’d rather be with than Nate.
After supper, while the boys escape to the backyard, Nate carries the plates to the kitchen sink and starts rinsing them off. After placing them into the dishwasher, I grab a bottle of chilled wine. “Are you in a hurry to head back to your cottage?”
Those honey-rich eyes bore into me, not giving away his thoughts. “No.”
“Good. I’m not ready for the night to end yet.” I nudge my chin at the wineglasses sitting on the counter and head out the back door.
Nate takes heed of my gesture, grabbing the stemware, and follows me outside. The boys continue to play in the far side of the yard. I catch Nate watching the sunset over the valley in the distance. The vineyards are barely visible, but it’s enough to relax me. “That’s the one thing I’ve missed about this area.”
“What’s that?” Nate shifts his attention to me, but I keep my focus on the landscape. If I look at him, I’m afraid all my secrets will spill. He’s that easy to talk to.
“The wine country. It’s beautiful. Don’t get me wrong, I wanted to get out of here and live in a city, but part of me had dreamed of owning a french country home overlooking the valley and vineyards. The countryside is so beautiful.”
“What made you want to live in the city?”
“I moved here from San Francisco at the start of my senior year. The transition was rough. I loved Stan, and our life improved drastically when he married Mom, but coming from a city to live in a town where everyone knew your business was hard.”
“What made Stan and your mom settle here?”
“Stan lived in Sunnyville already, and Mom grew up here. We would come to visit my grandparents when they were alive. Grandma died when I was a freshman, and Pappy got sick in the middle of my junior year. Mom came here a lot to take care of him. She got reacquainted with Stan during her trips.”
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