“There’s a small table in the far corner. Maybe it’s free?”
We work our way back there. When she takes a seat, I offer to get us some drinks.
“Your usual?”
“Yes, please.” The look she cast on me says everything I need to know—she likes the fact that we’re close enough to have learned each other’s likes and dislikes. If only I instilled the same courtesy toward her. Lord knows I haven’t been forthright. And she hasn’t been privy to the torment that haunts my dreams. I keep that shit locked tight. But I need to tell her the entire truth of why I’m here. She deserves to know. And it’s way overdue.
I would’ve come clean by now if her brother hadn’t interrupted last week. I came so close to revealing the truth. But like everything else in my life, the timing was off. We’d just brought Liam home from the hospital, and I had needed to get Nick. But the truth was on the tip of my tongue, begging for me to spill the tea. With the kids continuously around, there hasn’t been another opportunity. At least, that’s what I keep telling myself. Fair? Probably not. But that’s where the situation stands. I’ve been rather distant lately—the guilt heavy on my mind—but I’m coming clean tonight.
“Nate, just the man I’ve wanted to talk to.” Mark pats my shoulder. I turn and give him a handshake. I’ve given Mark the task of trying to find me a place to rent with a short-term lease.
“There’s another house coming up, and I talked to the landlord about your situation. The least amount of time she’s willing to offer is six months. I may be able to squeeze her down to four. But if you’re not sure where to settle, I suggest staying in Sunnyville.” He glances across the room at where Mackenzie sits. “There are definitely perks to the town.”
I nod as my jaw hardens. Six months. Why, when I first started looking, did the stay seem long but now seems short? Four months won’t work. Sure, Liam will have his cast removed by then, but Mackenzie will still need help. However, after I tell her the truth, her wanting help from me may be a different story.
“There’s a house I’m about to list that would be perfect for you.” He raises his palms and gives them a shake. He must mistake my surprised expression as disdain. “No pressure or anything, but I just thought you’d be interested. It’s turnkey. Technically, you could move in as soon as tomorrow. But I will say you better act fast on it. The house won’t last long.”
Live in Sunnyville permanently? Could I? My gaze flicks to Mackenzie. If I knew for sure she would accept me, there wouldn’t be any hesitation. I can visualize the entire scene—her and the kids living with me. The corners of my mouth pull into a grin. I must look like a damn lovestruck fool. But honestly, how did I get here picturing my life with not only a woman but a family I hijacked? I don’t know, but it’s a glorious sight.
The bartender sets my drinks in front of me. I pay and then turn to a knowing look I ignore. “Push for the six-month lease, but I want to see the house. Tomorrow if possible.”
“Will do.” Mark stands and nods. “I’ll call as soon as I get the green light.”
“Thanks.” I snake my way through the crowd with more determination to tell Mackenzie the truth tonight. I just need to figure out how to get us to leave.
“Here you go.” I no more than set Mackenzie’s drink in front of her when the pilot of the medivac approaches us.
“Nate Dixon. How are you? I’m Grayson Malone. I don’t think we formally met.” The man reaches his hand out for a shake, which I oblige. He turns to Mackenzie. “How’s Liam doing?”
“He’s better, thanks. Luckily, the crash only bruised his spleen, and he’ll be in a leg cast for a while, but he’s otherwise good.” Her smile is genuine.
“That’s good to hear.” Grayson turns to me. “So, how long are you staying in town?”
Talk about putting me on the spot. My gaze meets Mackenzie’s and holds. So many unspoken words between us. But the truth is, until I tell her about Ethan, I don’t know. I go with my generic answer. “It all depends. I haven’t worked out the details yet.”
His eyes cut to Mackenzie’s and then mine. “Uh-huh. Well, if you decide to stay in town, you should look into Mercy-Life. We could use a quick-thinking surgeon out in the field. However, the pay would never match the hospital’s. But I get the feeling it’s not the paycheck you’re after.”
I tip my glass toward him. “You’d be right.”
“How did you obtain your skills? The military?”
Jesus. His question is innocent enough and observant, but it’s a good thing I came partially clean to Mackenzie. This guy is killing me.
“Yes, I’ve worked as a flight surgeon. I’ve seen my share of traumas.”
“We definitely need to get together later and talk.” He slaps me on the back. “Think about what I said.” He turns to Mackenzie and adds, “I’m glad Liam’s doing well. I’ll talk to you later.”
Grayson stalks away and leaves me feeling guiltier. There is no more waiting. I need to tell her. It’s funny, after spending the past few months trying to hide the truth, now I feel as if I’m going to explode if I don’t spill it right now. “Hey, there’s something we need to discu—”
“Thanks for taking me out. I didn’t know how much I needed this,” she says, speaking at the same time. Or maybe she interrupted on purpose. I can’t tell. Her mood is hard to read.
“Yeah?”
“Yeah. It’s nice having a night where I can relax. It was long overdue.” She slides her hand across the table and intertwines our fingers together. Mackenzie flashes a smile, but she can’t hide the worry expressed in those sea-green eyes of hers.
“If anyone deserves a break, it’s you,” I say with all honesty. I want to reassure her, but I’m lost as to how. It’s not as if I can tell her I plan on staying without talking to her first.
“Thanks. That’s why it’s fun to kick back and not have any worries. I needed this tonight.”
There goes telling her the truth. I force a smile and run my thumb underneath her palm. We sit there, her sipping her drink while I talk to every Sunnyville resident in Hooligan’s. I swear they must have them lined up somewhere. As soon as one person leaves, another one comes up and introduces themselves. The entire night goes that way. It isn’t until I get her back to her place, and her mom leaves that I finally face her.
“We need to talk.”
Chapter Thirty-Four
Mackenzie
“We need to talk.”
My heart pounds as he speaks the words I’ve been dreading ever since we got together. I can’t handle him telling me he’s leaving. I’m not ready to say goodbye. I’d say this came out of nowhere, but Grayson’s questions got to him. I could tell by the way Nate’s entire demeanor changed. But the worst was how he looked at me. The longing was replaced with fear or dread. I knew this day was coming.
“Hold that thought. I want to go check on the boys.” I hurry down the hall, clenching my stomach. How am I going to get out of this conversation? I’m not ready to end whatever it is we have going on. I’m finally happy after years of just existing. I peer into the boys’ room. They’re deep asleep. Peaceful. Their angelic faces don’t have a care in the world. My heart breaks. How will they take Nate’s departure? They may have only known him for a few months, but they’ve grown to depend on him. They’ve adapted their lives around him. He’s been there more for them than Ethan ever thought to be.
Crap.
Maybe Jordan was right after all, and I shouldn’t have let Nate get so close. These boys have suffered enough heartbreak.
I fight back the threatening tears and head to the bathroom. If I only have one night or one month left with him, I’ll make the best of it. It’s what I vowed in the beginning, so nothing has changed. Except for my heart. My heart sure fell for him.
I’ve always been strong. Had to be. I couldn’t have gotten through the last twelve years by being meek and mild. But I’m reduced to a bundle of nerves as I freshen up a tad, put on red lipstick, and cha
nge into Jill’s gift—The Enticer. I sure hope she’s right and this works. I could use all the help I can get to entice him to stay in Sunnyville.
I glance at my reflection. Lordy, can I walk out there wearing something like this? The black front-closure negligee pales my skin even more, but the sheer fabric reveals every single curve my G-string doesn’t hide. I push my boobs up and adjust the tie holding the bra together to accentuate the girls. I walk into my bedroom and spy the black spiked heels I never wear. Would wearing them now be overkill? I’m pretty sure men find heels sexy. I slip into them and, with renewed determination, head back to the living room. Nate may want to talk, but whatever weighs on his mind can wait. He won’t derail my plan. Not tonight. With Liam breaking his leg, it’s been a while since the last time we fucked. That gets remedied tonight.
I find Nate standing next to the couch, hands in his pockets, looking out the window. I’m not used to seeing a nervous Nate. This usually strong, brooding man has me worried. I clear my throat.
Nate turns around and does a double take as his jaw drops. “Holy fuck.”
His honey-rich eyes give me a once-over, lingering on my breasts, before returning to meet my stare. He closes the gap between us, and his lust-laden expression has my body begging to be touched. It’s all I can do to stand there and let him come to me.
“You like?”
He grabs me by the waist and pulls me against him. His erection against my abdomen tells me everything I need to know, but he answers anyway. “Fuck yeah, I like.”
I like that he’s turned on by merely looking at me. Something is empowering about that. He brings his lips to my neck and plants a soft kiss while his hands glide along my side. My nipples pebble beneath the black lace as his hands cup the underside of my breasts. Our moans fill the hallway. My cue to steer him to the bedroom. The kids sleep like rocks, but I won’t chance getting caught.
I back him up to the end of the bed and unbutton his shirt until his glorious abs are exposed. I take my time running my palms across every ridge and valley. He groans and tosses his head back. “God, you make it difficult to say no. I wanted to talk first.”
“Shh.” I place my finger on his mouth, my heart pounding in my chest. “Talking is overrated.” Before he can protest, I slide the belt off and unbutton and unzip the jeans buckle. His breath ticks up a beat as I work his pants lower and then his briefs until his cock springs free. He steps out of the pants, and I push him back onto the bed. “Lie back.”
“Yes, ma’am.” He leans back on his elbows and watches as I crawl onto the bed.
I have never acted like this before. Maybe The Enticer works in reverse because it’s sure enticing me to explore a dominant side I never knew I had. But the heat consuming Nate’s expression as he looks at me is making me all sorts turned on. I take my palm and rub along his thick, long shaft. He certainly was blessed in the manhood department. His breath catches as I wrap my red-painted lips around the tip of his cock.
“Oh, God.” His eyes practically roll into the back of his head. I swirl my tongue along the tip and then lick to the base and back up before completely taking him in. He’s too big for my mouth. I have to wrap my hand around his base and swallow what I can. Then I suck as if I can’t get enough. Like I’ve been sexually starved, and his dick is the only thing whetting my appetite.
“Fuck, you’re so beautiful.” He brushes the back of his fingers against my cheek. I stare up at him as he continues to fuck my mouth. I want to give him this moment. I want to take everything in.
His hips buck as I cup his balls.
“Mackenzie.” My name comes across as a warning. But I want to take him. All of him. Tonight isn’t about me. It’s about him. His pleasure.
“Babe, if you don’t want me to come in your mouth, you need to stop. I’m not going to hang on much longer.” His voice is raspy. He’s so close.
I respond by sucking harder and picking up the pace.
“Oh. Oh, God.”
His salty cum coats my mouth, but I swallow it down until his body stops trembling. I slowly release his cock.
“Holy shit. That was the hottest thing I’ve witnessed.” He leans back on the bed, panting. “You may have to wait a second for me to recover.”
I crawl and snuggle beside him.
“You surprised me, Grace.”
I chuckle at the nickname. “I didn’t fall off the bed. I think I did well.”
He rolls over and pins me on my back. “You did really well.”
My mouth parts as I feel his length hardening on my stomach. “I thought you’d need some time.”
“I said seconds. Not hours.”
“Impressive, old man.”
“I’ll show you exactly what this old man can do.”
And he does.
This time when we make love, his movements are slow, more intimate. This time, there’s been a shift between us. I feel it with each stroke of his cock, each plunge—a deeper connection not present before. An unspoken love that somehow existed but chose this moment to shine.
I feel it.
All of it.
We hold each other’s gaze until white dots fill my vision as I unravel around him. He rides me through my orgasm until we’re both spent. After we clean up and he snuggles beside me, a single tear slides down my cheek. He doesn’t even have to try, and he owns my body.
* * *
“No!”
My eyes fly open from a harsh sound. Thinking it came from the kids, I move to check on them when Nate thrashes beside me.
“No. Breathe.” His voice cracks as his body shakes.
“Nate.” I shake his shoulder, but he continues to jerk. I’m not sure what to do.
“Blood. So much blood everywhere.”
Lordy, what is he remembering? Somehow, I don’t think it relates to Liam.
“No! I’m losing you.”
His words spark a memory. “I’m not losing you too.” He’s lost someone before. Someone close to him.
“Nate. You’re having a bad dream,” I yell a little louder and shake his shoulder again.
He gasps as his eyes pop open, his breaths under rapid fire.
“Christ. I didn’t hit you, did I?” he asks between pants.
“No, of course not.” I rise on my elbow to study him. He stares up at the ceiling, breathing still labored, but it’s the look in his eyes that guts me. A dark, horrified expression. “Are you okay?”
“I will be.” He takes a deep breath and slowly releases it. A pattern he keeps up until his breaths even. After a few moments of being calm, he speaks, “Sometimes I have nightmares. They’ve been better lately. I’m sorry.”
“There’s nothing to be sorry about.”
He reaches out and pulls me against him. He doesn’t say anything for the longest time. We just lie next to each other until his heartbeat calms. After a few long beats, he whispers, “We’ll talk in the morning. Get some sleep.”
“Okay.” I may agree, but as I snuggle in Nate’s arms, I know I won’t be getting much sleep.
Chapter Thirty-Five
Mackenzie
“Mommy. Why is Mr. Dixon in your bed?”
My eyes shoot open to a very puzzled expression from my five-year-old. Oh, shit. How am I going to explain a naked man in my bed? I drag the covers to my neck and glance over at Nate. He’s covered. Thank God for small favors. At least I don’t have to explain about his junk hanging out. It’d scar my son for life.
“Mommy?”
“Um.” Yeah, I’ve got nothing.
“Hey, buddy.” Nate’s gravelly voice alights my skin, sending chills across my body. Last night was incredible. But I never thought about the consequences the morning would bring. How could I be so careless? “We got in late last night. Did you have a good time with your grandma?”
“Yeah. Uncle Jordan tried to come over, but Grandma shooed him away.” Nick cocks his head and draws his eyebrows together. “Mommy, why do you hate Uncle Jordan?”
Jesus. It’s way too early for this line of questioning. “I don’t hate Uncle Jordan. I’m just mad at him for not listening to me.”
Nick’s eyes grow big as his voice turns serious. “I always listen.”
Nate’s chuckle is low and carefree. A much different tone than when he woke up from the nightmare.
“I know you do, honey. Sometimes, Uncle Jordan is careless, and his carelessness gets people hurt.”
“Like with Liam?”
“Exactly. I don’t want to take another chance of him hurting you.” That probably wasn’t the best thing to say either, but his quick okay puts an end to the conversation.
“I’m hungry. Can we have waffles?”
“Sure. Go wake up your brother, and I’ll be right out.”
“Yeah, waffles.” He charges out of the room, yelling his brother’s name.
“Oh my God.”
Nate runs his hand across my stomach. His eyes, more of an amber color in this daylight, burn warm. The weight of our impending conversation still sits heavily on my mind, but this look he gives me screams love. He may not say the words, but he sure does make me feel it. “I’m sorry. We sort of crashed last night.”
I can’t stop the smile from forming. “You think?”
He brushes his lips across my shoulder. The vibrations dance across my skin as he groans. “Last night was incredible. I hate to get up.”
“Me too. But if I don’t hurry, Nick will be back in here.”
That causes him to move quickly. He leans over and kisses my forehead. “Fine. I’ll help with Liam while you get that sexy little ass of yours to the kitchen.”
“Say what?”
“For the waffles. Jeez.” He lifts out of bed. I try not to stare, but he’s too gloriously toned to look away. I don’t feel quite as confident as I did last night. I stay hidden under the covers until he swipes his clothes off the floor and dresses before grabbing my robe and shuffling to the kitchen.
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