by Karina Halle
“Sounds like you’ve got it all figured out,” I said, running my hands over the soft sheets.
“I’ve got that figured out,” he said as he pulled on white linen pants. Always commando. “What I’ve really got to focus on is what to do with the intel on Hernandez. We can’t screw this up. We get one shot to get him, and anything after that we are fucked right up the ass.”
I nodded, feeling privileged to be let in on this information again, feeling a part of his life, like a true partner. “Well, other than making sure Evaristo is comfortable, whatever you need from me, just ask.”
He smiled at me in the mirror’s reflection. “I’m glad you asked that. Because there is something I would like to ask you.”
“Yeah?”
“And Esteban.”
My blood turned to ice. My lungs froze right over.
Oh fuck.
“Oh?” I said, and Javier slowly walked over to me as he slipped on a belt through the loops on his pants.
“Yeah. I would like to ask something of the two of you.”
I plastered the fakest damn smile on my face. “What is it?”
He smiled right back but I couldn’t be sure if it was fake or malicious, or what it was. I was so paranoid that my heart was threatening to fly right out of my chest.
He knows. He knows. He had to know.
“It’s something that can wait for now,” Javier said, putting his hand on my shoulder. He leaned down and kissed me lightly on the lips. I had to force my body to break the freeze and kiss him back as I normally would.
I wondered if he could taste the fear on me.
“I’ve got a busy day,” he said, turning around and walking back to his dresser to slip on his watch. “I think I’m going to head with Diego to La Perla or maybe Durango and see if we can get some work done. It’s better to do the work in the car and pilfer someone’s wifi. It won’t leave a trace, just in case our systems are being watched.”
I nodded absently. “Is that possible?” I asked, just wanting him to keep talking.
“Anything is possible, my queen,” he said, shooting me a wicked smile. “You should know that more than anyone.”
I couldn’t swallow the brick in my throat. I smiled again and slowly got out of bed. “I should get dressed,” I said, willing my voice to remain steady.
“I’ll see you later. Bring Esteban back here around nine tonight,” he said before he strode out the door and into the hall, closing it behind him and barking at Diego who must have been outside.
Oh shit.
SHIT.
What the hell did this mean?
I felt like I was about to have a full-blown meltdown. Panic was creeping up my body, worming its way into my chest. I had to remind myself to breathe in and out, to not let my guilt get the best of me. The fact that he wanted to talk to both of us didn’t have to mean the worst. It didn’t mean he knew.
It didn’t, it couldn’t.
I had to find Esteban right away, but I had to wait until Javier and Diego were gone, so I practically forced myself to shower and spend time getting ready before I went out to look for him.
I didn’t have to look far. Esteban was on the porch, staring off into the distance, a cup of coffee in his hand. It was a lovely beautiful morning, the sky saturated blue and stretching as far as the eye could see. There wasn’t a single cloud.
It’s too bad I couldn’t take the time to fully appreciate it.
“Esteban,” I said warily as I walked across the porch to him. He didn’t turn to look at me. He was probably mad about me standing him up last night.
I stood beside him, watching his gaze. That favorite horse of mine was in the distance. Esteban seemed so focused on him, and not in a good way.
“Where were you last night?” he asked me, voice hard. He still wouldn’t look at me.
“Sorry about that,” I said.
“But where were you?”
I hesitated. “With Javier.”
He nodded. “I see. In what way were you with him?”
“Esteban, I think he knows,” I said, skirting the issue.
Finally he looked at me, and his eyes were smoldering with hate. “What did you do?”
My chin jerked back, surprised that he would blame me so fast. “I didn’t do anything!” His look intensified. I shook my head. “I swear to god, I didn’t do anything or say anything.”
“Then why do you think he knows?”
“He asked if the both of us would come to his room tonight. At nine. That there was something he needed to ask us.”
He stared at me for a moment. “Did you fuck him last night?”
“Esteban,” I warned, stepping away from him. “That’s none of your business.”
“You’re wrong,” he sniped, and reached out to grab the back of my neck, his fingers squeezing the skin as he yanked me to him. “Everything you do is my business now. You’re not his anymore, you got that? You’re mine. And there’s nothing you can do to change it. It’s happening.”
What was happening? I wanted to ask, but he squeezed my neck harder and I winced from the pain.
“Hey,” I heard Borrero say as he stepped out from the kitchen to the porch. “What’s going on here?”
Esteban immediately let go of my neck, and my hand flew back there to press on the pain. “Nothing you should worry your pretty little head about,” Esteban said to Borrero.
Borrero glared at him and walked over to me. “You all right, Luisa?” he asked as Esteban stomped off the porch and headed toward the barn.
I nodded, trying to catch my breath. “I guess I said the wrong thing.”
Borrero watched me curiously for a moment before his eyes drifted off to Esteban in the distance. “You know I’m supposed to keep you safe. If Javier had seen what I had just seen …”
Javier would have probably chopped Esteban’s arm off.
“I know,” I told him, trying to smile. “It’s fine.”
“I’ll be watching you, you know,” he said, and now I couldn’t figure out if it was for my own protection or because Javier might have told him about his own suspicions.
“I’ll be staying out of trouble, don’t worry,” I said to the sicario before heading back inside the house.
***
I stayed out of trouble by staying near Evelyn the entire day and helping her with her chores. The more we talked, the more I realized that she was far smarter than I had initially thought, and we had a lot in common. We both had to hide behind a mask. I wore a beauty queen one and she wore one of an old maid, but we both were so much more than we appeared to be.
Evelyn told me that the ranch had been used a lot recently for the sole purpose of training. While I knew that Javier was trying to set up his own army to battle against those crazy Zetas, I didn’t realize so many of the camps took place here. It was good to know that we were improving the army we already had, the ones who could battle it out against the Gulf Cartel and whomever else declared us their enemy.
Speaking of enemies, the only time I was away from Evelyn was when I was with Evaristo in the basement. He looked only marginally better than he did yesterday and he wasn’t as talkative, but he still watched me with almost reverence as I applied the ointments and fed him his pills.
It was around eight o’clock when Diego and Javier returned home from wherever they had gone. They quickly corralled Morales and went walking around the property as the sun was dying in the west. I guessed they were discussing whatever it was they had learned that day, the next steps in the plan to get Hernandez.
When it was close to nine, I quickly finished the wine I was having with Evelyn — I’d had more than I meant to, my nerves getting the best of me — and headed to Javier’s room, hoping to find Esteban.
I didn’t. It was empty. I wondered if I should go looking for him or if Javier would.
But before I could answer that question, Javier walked through the door, Esteban in tow.
“Please sit down. Both
of you,” Javier said, gesturing to the bed with an open palm. His tone was light and I started to have some hope that he wasn’t about to kill us.
That was until he went and locked the door.
“What’s this about, Javi?” Esteban asked, seeming more bored than intrigued. He was good at pretending. I knew he had to be at least shitting himself a little bit. Even sitting next to Esteban felt electric and dangerous.
Javier eyed us coolly. “I’ll get to that. You’re not armed, are you Este?”
Esteban exchanged a quick glance with me then shrugged. “I’m always armed.”
Javier held out his hand. “Give it to me.”
Esteban didn’t move. “Why?”
“Because we’re all friends here, aren’t we? And friends — real friends — shouldn’t need to arm themselves when they’re with each other. We are real friends, the three of us, right? Don’t you dare prove me wrong.”
I swallowed and watched with bated breath as Esteban nodded and slowly pulled out his pistol from the back of his shorts. Javier snatched it out of his grasp and walked over to the dresser, placing it on top.
“Doesn’t that mean you need to disarm yourself too?” Esteban asked.
Javier smiled like a snake. That panic in the pit of my stomach started to squirm.
“Of course,” he said, and he brought his gun out, putting it beside Esteban’s. I didn’t dare mention that I knew Javier had a small pistol strapped to his leg and a knife on the other. I saw him strap them on before he pulled on his pants that morning, like he always did. Patrons believed in extra protection.
“So why exactly are we all gunless pussies now?” Esteban asked.
Javier leaned against the dresser. “I didn’t want anyone to freak out from what I’m about to ask you. A favor.”
A favor?
“What is it?” I said, trying not to sound scared.
He cocked his head slightly and appraised me for a moment. “A little fantasy of mine.”
I frowned, not sure what he was getting at.
“Esteban,” Javier said to him, “as I’m sure you are aware, I’ve been having some issues lately. Alana’s death … hasn’t been easy on me. And I’ve been taking it out on the wrong people. You, I’m sure, plus others. Many, many others. But mostly my poor wife.” Javier gave me a quick smile. “I’ve been unfaithful to her. I’ve been rude and rough and disrespectful. I have failed as her husband.”
The fact that Javier was admitting this troubled me. I knew he had a hard enough time admitting his faults to me in general, but to Esteban? He was the last person he wanted to look weak in front of, but that’s just what he was doing here.
I glanced at Esteban out of the corner of my eye. He was sitting rigid, looking about as worried as I felt.
Javier went on, hands behind his back. “But I don’t want to be that to her anymore. I want to be a better man, so to speak. We’re going to start a family.”
Esteban’s eyes widened and he swallowed hard. “Congratulations.”
“Thank you,” Javier said simply. “Of course, she’s not pregnant yet. At least, I don’t think so. We made love last night but these things can take time.”
I didn’t know where this was going, but it was wrong. Everything that Javier was saying, even though it was the truth, was wrong. He wasn’t acting like himself. He had some ulterior motive, some purpose, and I didn’t know what it was.
“But an heir, particularly a son, will do wonders for us and the organization. Don’t you think?”
Esteban shrugged again though this time it seemed forced. “I guess. It’s the way.”
“It is the way,” Javier said with a sharp nod. “And the way is about family and responsibility and doing what’s right to protect that unit. It’s not for frivolous acts. It’s not for degenerates. There is no place in the family unit for … uncouth urges.” He eyed both of us. “I guess I’m not being very clear. I admit I’m having a hell of a time just coming out and saying it. I’ve done this many times before, sorry Luisa, just not with you both.”
I stared at Javier, waiting for him to put an end to my confusion.
He smiled something wicked. “Before I become a father, I want one last fantasy out of my system. One last rotten immoral urge.” He paused. “I want the both of you tonight. Together. Right here.”
I blinked. Did I hear that right? I glanced at Esteban who was staring back at me with matching confusion.
He couldn’t mean what I thought he meant.
“Uh,” Esteban said, scratching at the scar on his cheek. “Correct me if I’m wrong, patron, but … are you asking for a threesome?”
My brows raised and I looked anxiously at Javier for his answer.
“It sounds so juvenile, doesn’t it?” Javier said. “But yes, that is exactly what I’m asking for. As a favor to me. Do you have any objections?”
“Yes,” I said at the same time Este did.
Javier clapped his hands together and stood right over us, peering down. “I thought you would. But you’re going to be a part of this regardless. There is no saying no to me, you should know that by now.”
I knew that, but it didn’t mean I wouldn’t try. Because nothing good could come of this. And I think that’s exactly what Javier had in mind.
Esteban cleared his throat. “I didn’t think you were the kind of guy who would easily share his woman.”
Javier gave him a cutting look. “Oh, I assure you I am not. But because I’ll be having a piece of you as well, I think it evens out. Now, strip.”
There was no way this was about to happen. Esteban wouldn’t allow it. Forget about the affair, he still wouldn’t allow it. Esteban seemed to spend his days fighting the authority that Javier had over him. He wouldn’t just let Javier call the shots now, especially in a sexual manner. It would humiliate him.
Which was the whole point. Now I knew what Javier was doing.
But why I was involved, I didn’t know.
To my complete surprise, Esteban stood up, and with his eyes on Javier, pulled his shirt over his head and threw it to the ground. Then he undid his shorts, sliding them down until his bare ass was right beside me.
No. No, no, no.
No.
I looked away. I couldn’t do this. It should have been a million girls’ fantasies but there was something so inherently wrong about this. If this had come from a genuine, organic place, then maybe I would have been more than up for it. But was no way in hell this was ever one of Javier’s fantasies and I was completely on edge.
Javier barely gave Esteban the once over — he didn’t look too impressed — and then fixed his gaze on me.
“My queen,” he said, and I wished I could see the glimmer of tenderness in his eyes, what I had seen last night when we made love. But I didn’t see anything there except something wicked.
Devious.
He smiled at me and jerked his chin to Esteban. “Isn’t this what you want?”
I shook my head, my hands gripping the edge of the bed.
“No?” Javier asked, leaning over and putting his hand into my hair, making a fist. I stiffened, my eyes locked with his as I silently pleaded for this not to happen. “You never fancied having a fuck with your friend Este here?”
Oh Jesus. He knows.
He knows.
He grinned at me. It was beautiful. It was terrifying.
“Well, if you’ve never fancied Este, I know he sure as hell has fancied you.” He looked to Esteban briefly. “Isn’t that right, you little shit?”
Esteban, stark naked, just shrugged.
The bastard just shrugged.
“Of course,” Esteban said, so carefree that it grated on me. “Who wouldn’t want Luisa? I mean, look at her.”
Javier nodded, seemingly satisfied. “See, Luisa, he wants you. And if you say you don’t want him, well I guess you’ll just have to pretend. Now, take off your clothes before I make Este do it for you.”
I kept staring at Javier.
He yanked my head forward and put his lips to my ear.
“Because,” he said softly, drawing out the word before biting my earlobe.
A shiver rocked through me.
He pulled back and released my hair. His fingers curled around the hem of my dress and started tugging it up my legs. I understood that this was for my own humiliation now. He was looking for guilt. He was searching for truth.
I had to pretend, just as Esteban was, that this was okay.
My life depended on it.
I took in a deep breath, managed a small smile that gave Javier a bit of pause, then I raised my arms over my head to help him. Javier pulled the dress off, and then I was just sitting on the edge of the bed in my bra and underwear. The set was black and lacy, and the minute I felt the eyes of both men on me, taking me in like a feast, I couldn’t say I wasn’t turned on. Maybe I wouldn’t have to pretend in the end.
Maybe I could get out of this alive.
“Stand on the bed,” Javier commanded. “Then take the rest off. Slowly.”
I took in a deep breath then stood up, going to the middle of the bed in a few shaky steps. I faced them while I slowly unhooked my bra, my breasts bouncing free. The air felt cool against my nipples, but they were already hard. The more they stared at me — my husband and my lover — the more turned on I became. I knew that Javier wanted all the control, but the more I owned it, the more that control belonged to me.
I eased my panties down my legs and stepped out of them. Now I was completely nude and on display. I kept my eyes on Javier, not wanting to look at Esteban, too afraid to give anything away.
“Get on your knees,” Javier said. “Come to the edge of the bed.” He jerked his head at Esteban. “Get him off.”
I swallowed hard and tried to play it cool. Esteban certainly was. He was grinning like a fool as he came to the edge of the bed, his cock already hard and upright.
I didn’t move, not yet. “And what will you do?”
Javier, still in his clothes, said, “Watch.” He paused and gave me a tight smile. “For now.” He moved over to the dresser, the guns still on top, and leaned against it casually, folding his arms. “No more stalling, my queen. Do it.”