Weasel Boy’s pillow bed was situated in the corner, bowls filled with fresh water and food. Barrett had probably fed him Cap’n Crunch for breakfast. “Home, sweet home,” she said, unlatching the gate.
Barrett looked torn as he took in the concrete floor and forlorn bed. The dogs hadn’t abated in their barking yet, and Weasel Boy cringed at the noise. Stacy understood Barrett’s dilemma, and also why he couldn’t take the dog. Dogs, babies and families didn’t fit his lifestyle. But she had to admit she was hoping he’d give in to the dog. Because if he did, it might mean he’d give in on the babies and family, too.
“Thanks for trying to find him a home. Someone will take him soon, I’m sure of it.” She took the dog and set him on his bed. “See you later, Elmo.”
Elmo stood at the gate and watched them with those sad, buggy eyes.
She nudged Barrett toward the entrance. “We’d better go.” Before I start crying, she didn’t say. It was so loud, he probably wouldn’t have heard her anyway. She led him to the front entrance and out into the sunshine. “I’m going to stick around for a bit, make sure Weas—Elmo’s okay.”
“Can I sponsor his adoption fee? Offer a bonus if someone takes him?”
“Afraid not. The shelter wants to make sure that whoever adopts an animal can afford to keep him.”
He let out a long breath, lifting his face into the sun for a moment before looking at her again. “Keep me updated on everything, okay? Even Elmo.”
“Sure.”
“Thanks for all your help with the folks at Sunset City. You know, pretending to be my girlfriend and all.”
“I have a confession to make. It wasn’t a totally unselfish act. I thought you were pretty cute, and I wanted to get to know you better. I’m glad I did.”
“Me, too.”
“And thank you for—”
He put his finger over her mouth. “Don’t even say it. I wanted to do it. Maybe I wanted to be close to you, too.”
She threw herself into his arms, and he held her tight. “I’m going to miss you,” he said in a strained voice. Probably she was holding onto him too tight.
“Me, too.”
“I wish I didn’t have this project—”
This time she put her finger over his mouth. “Don’t even say it. I know you have to follow through, because that’s who you are. I wish you luck in finding your life goal. Maybe you’ll find it in the rain forest.”
“Maybe.” He didn’t sound convinced.
He gave her a kiss like the one last night, sweet and tender and much too quick. Which was a good thing. A goodbye kiss should be quick, not long and lingering. Not arousing.
He never took his eyes off her as he walked to his car. And because she knew this, she realized she’d done the same. He sat in the car for a moment, started it, then sat there for another minute. She didn’t let herself think he’d changed his mind. He couldn’t. He had an obligation, two years’ worth. And after that…who knew? A lot could happen in two years. And if they’d been successful, a lot would happen in two years.
When he finally pulled out of the parking lot, she felt a bone-deep ache. “Bummer,” she said, hoping to feel as casual as the word. It didn’t work, so she went inside. She worked with a couple of the dogs she’d taken home before and tried not to think about the life growing inside her womb and the emptiness growing inside her heart. But after hearing Elmo crying for thirty minutes straight, she knew this wasn’t the place to be, either.
“Coreen, tell RJ I couldn’t stay today. I’ll be in tomorrow, though.”
“Who was the cutie?” Coreen asked with a lifted eyebrow.
Stacy couldn’t help putting her hand over her stomach. “Just a friend.”
14
BARRETT COULD HEAR the noise emanating from his apartment as he neared the door. Inside, the place was chaos. The two older boys were chasing each other around the furniture. The carpet wasn’t wholly white anymore.
Kim’s voice carried like a bullhorn. “Tim, Paul, slow down!” She was sitting on the couch with her youngest on her lap. She looked up and saw Barrett at the door. “Hi. We’re going to be out of your hair in thirty minutes, I promise. Dave’s picking up the van now, and he’ll be here to load everything up. I’m sorry we kicked you out of your own place. I hope you got your project done in time.”
“Sure did.”
“That’s great.”
He shrugged. It was great, wasn’t it? He’d managed to put the final touches on it last night, since he couldn’t sleep anyway.
“When do you head off to Bolivia?”
“Next Friday.”
“You’ve got to be excited about that.”
“Yeah. Sure.”
She tilted her head. “You sound different. And you look like poopie. You all right?”
He smiled at her use of the kid’s word. Would Stacy be talking like that in a year? “I’m fine.” But he didn’t sound fine, and he didn’t feel fine, either. Even worse, he wasn’t the least bit excited about the upcoming project. And he suspected he knew why.
Kim noticed her toddler rambling right toward Barrett. “Ronnie, come back, honey! Come to mama. Uncle Barrett’s not a baby person.”
A knock on the door was followed by Barrett’s father’s entrance. He was wearing his standard plaid shirt and striped pants with a tweed jacket. “Well, let me see it. You’ve got the study done, right? Of course you do, a nonsensical question.”
Of course he did. He was never late, and he never backed out of something he’d committed to. “It’s in here. I haven’t put a cover and binding on it yet.” He cleared away the stacks of diapers and opened his briefcase. His father dropped into the seat and started leafing through the thick study.
Kim said, “Hey, Dad, it’s nice to see you, too.”
Their father made a grunting noise, lifting his head briefly but not meeting his daughter’s eyes. Barrett had never noticed that before, how his father focused only on what mattered to him. Not on his two offspring or even his grandchildren who, Barrett noticed, had settled down since their grandfather’s arrival. They moved away from him and continued their playing at a quieter level.
His father was oblivious to it all. He perused the report, happy in his own little world. A world that excluded love and companionship. Barrett could remember his father being like that with him and Kim, though it hadn’t seemed unusual then. The only way to get his attention was to talk to him about what interested him. Luckily, Barrett could manage that. Kim couldn’t. Barrett couldn’t remember his father ever holding him or giving him a hug. He obviously didn’t feel comfortable around young children, even his own.
Barrett watched his father’s eyes widen in excitement at the report in a way they never widened for anything else. He didn’t want to be like that. The realization hit him like a wrecking ball tearing through a building. He didn’t want to be like that…but he was. Not because he was born that way but because he’d become that way.
The moment Barrett felt something touch his ankle, Kim’s voice shouted, “Tim, get your little sister! She’s going to freak out her uncle.”
The girl was similar in age to the Lynsey toddler from the canned-food party. He didn’t feel the fear. Discomfort, yes, but not enough to keep him from picking up the baby. He held her out for a moment, and she showed a couple of teeth in a drippy smile. He remembered the way Stacy had held Lynsey against her waist, so naturally. He did the same, though probably not as naturally.
“Barrett…” Kim was watching with her mouth open.
“It’s okay. This is my niece. I should be able to hold her, right?”
She smelled sweet. She picked at a button on his shirt, totally enthralled by it. She felt warm and real in his arms. He was going to have one of these. He was going to be a father. Suddenly his motives were more selfish than ever.
Even the two boys were watching their uncle with shocked expressions. When he looked at his sister, it was his mouth that hung open. She was breast-f
eeding her youngest. A blanket was covering the baby’s head, making the act discreet.
It was incredibly easy to imagine Stacy doing the same thing. He wanted to be part of it. He turned to his father, who was oblivious to the scene.
“Dad? Dad?”
Finally his father looked up but didn’t notice Ronnie in Barrett’s arms. “What?”
Barrett walked over and set the toddler in his lap. “Have you ever held your granddaughter?”
His father looked at a loss, staring at the toddler, who found his glasses enthralling. “No. Why would I?”
“Why don’t you hold her for a while and figure it out. By the way, I’ve finally figured out my life goal.”
“Liggus fasciatus? That’s wonderful! I knew you’d take to them. They’re the gems of the Everglades, you know.”
“No, it has nothing to do with snails. In fact, all this time, I’ve been looking at the life goal as being something professional. Scientific.”
“What else would it be?”
He stared at his father for a moment. That’s what it was all about to him. Luckily Barrett had seen the light. “It might be about sunsets, and seeing dogs and dragons in the clouds. It might be about the pleasure of having a little dog curled up on your lap. It’s definitely about the woman who taught me to see all of that. And if she doesn’t think I’m too dumb, I’m going to convince her to let me adore her for the rest of her life.”
STACY DROVE AROUND for a long time, just thinking. The sun was bright and hot, though the breeze, especially in the convertible, was enough to keep her comfortable. She drove into the area where Barrett’s condominium was, though she didn’t let herself pinpoint which of the tall buildings overlooking the water was his. She had his phone number with her, but it was too soon to be calling him. If she hadn’t heard from him by the day before he left for Bolivia, she’d give him a call to wish him well. She would probably have an idea whether she was pregnant or not by then.
When Stacy pulled into her driveway, she already had the sense that something was wrong. Maybe it was the residents who were conspicuously lurking, or the fact that some of the Power Squadron was taking their walk hours early and just happened to be rounding the far corner as she turned down her street. She could have sworn, too, that they’d jumped to action as soon as they’d seen her car.
“Why, hey there, Stacy,” Ernie called.
“Hello, sweet pea,” Frieda said as they both strolled over.
Jack dinged the bell on his purple bike as he rolled by. Then he turned and came back. “Morning,” he called to the folks who were gathering around. “Good to see you, Stacy.”
“Good to see me?” It was always good to see him.
Arlene pulled in behind Stacy’s car with her golf cart. The blue flower bobbed on the end of her antenna as she came to an abrupt stop. She released the poodles into the yard and walked over. “Morning, Stacy. Mighty fine day, isn’t it?”
Mighty suspicious, she thought. Then she felt a jolt of panic. Ricky had told them about her insemination plans! She wasn’t ready to tell them about the baby yet. First, she had to make sure there was a baby. She’d already decided to stick with the sperm donor story and keep Barrett out of it. She didn’t want the folks here to think he was a cad for deserting her in her time of need when it wasn’t like that at all.
“What’s up?” she asked once everyone was in attendance, all trying to look casual as though they’d happened to end up there by accident.
“We saw Barrett leave this morning,” Betty said.
Stacy allowed herself a small breath of relief. This wasn’t about sperm. “Yes, he left. He finished his study despite all of you, and in case you’d forgotten, Gene and Judy are returning this afternoon.”
“So when’s he coming back?” Arlene asked.
A jab of pain shot into her chest. “He’s got a two-year study he’s embarking on in the rain forest of Bolivia next week. At least that long. Maybe never.”
A murmur of outrage rippled through the crowd. “You mean there’s no commitment?”
“No pronouncement of undying love?” Frieda cried. Stacy leaned against her car and crossed her arms. “I suppose I should fess up now and tell you it was a charade. Our romance, I mean. So you’d all keep your match-making grubs off him.” If only that had remained true, at least on her end.
“A charade?” Arlene stamped her foot.
“Well, I never!” Betty said.
“Knock it off, girls,” Nita said. “We should fess up, too. At first, yeah, we did want to set up our offspring—” she cleared her throat “—and possibly myself with him. But when we saw that spark between you, we realized you’d finally found a guy worthy of your big heart.”
“Spark?” They’d seen a spark?
“We knew about the charade. Ernie’s sonic ear,” she said at Stacy’s shocked expression. “But we knew, you being so nice and all, that you wouldn’t want to bother Barrett with his study, even though you had to pretend to be his girlfriend. So we forced your hand a little.”
Stacy’s mouth dropped open as she took all of them in. They were nodding, some not even having the decency to look a little sheepish. “You mean the deadline, the demand for us to kiss and prove it—all part of your plan?” She remembered when Nita had said they were making plans.
“Yep,” Nita said. “But it didn’t work!”
“Where did we go wrong?” Betty lamented.
Ernie said, “The first guy we don’t run off, and he leaves on his own!”
Amid all the whining, that one comment perked Stacy’s ears. “Wait a minute! What do you mean, the first guy you don’t run off?”
Everyone went silent. Nita looked around. “Who said that? No one said that.”
“I did,” Ernie admitted, his shoulders hunched nearly to his ears as though he were trying to pull his head in like a turtle.
“And Nita, you said a guy finally worthy of me.”
“Well, sure. Didn’t you get a good look at those losers you brought here over the years?”
Frieda started listing names by her long, spindly fingers. “Bob had been married four times and he’d lied about it. Ted had once been convicted of fraud and embezzlement. Cal didn’t have a lucrative job at an insurance company like he told you. He didn’t have a job at all.”
“And Rupert not only had been married before, but he still was!” Ernie said.
Stacy felt a curious pressure in her chest as she took in her family. “How did you know all this?”
Ernie lifted his chin, pride on his face. “They used to call me the Black Gopher, you know. I have ways of finding things out.”
“And then we simply, er, discouraged them from coming back around,” Arlene said.
“We only did it because we love you, m’dear,” Betty said.
“We want you to be happy, but it’s got to be the right guy. Someone who won’t hurt you or take advantage of your good nature,” Jack said.
The pressure was turning into a big warm spot in her chest at their protectiveness.
“Just like with the jobs,” Ernie said with a nod. When everyone went silent again, he realized he’d revealed another secret he shouldn’t have.
“You don’t know squat about keeping secrets!” Nita yelled among the groans.
Stacy could barely speak the words. “You sabotaged my job possibilities, too?”
“We know what’s best for you, hon,” Frieda said. “Trust us, those jobs were all wrong for you.”
“I was beginning to think I was a failure.”
“We felt kinda bad about that part,” Jack said. “But when you get that assistant director’s job at the shelter, it’ll all be worth it.”
“The what job?” This was too much to take in!
“That woman couldn’t care less about animals. I don’t think she’ll be there much longer,” Betty said.
That was probably true, and Stacy had been known to complain about it to them from time to time. Betty had seen Nao
mi’s callousness firsthand when she’d adopted her second cat from the shelter.
Frieda said, “What I don’t understand is how you let Barrett get away. That man was clearly in love with you.”
“Clearly?” Stacy asked, ignoring the part about letting him get away.
Nita took that part up. “If he has commitments, there isn’t anything he could do about it. He’s an honorable man who keeps his promises. You can’t blame him for that. They can write, keep in touch.”
“Pooh, those things never work out,” Frieda said.
Ernie said, “We kept in touch when I was in the war. It worked for us.”
“We were married! You had a legal obligation to come back!”
Arlene had gathered Blue—or was it Suede?—in her arms. “But I don’t understand how he could have walked away from our sweet Stacy. When you have something that special…”
“Good love is so hard to find,” Betty said on a sigh.
Nita sighed, too. “A good man is so hard to find. And a hard man is so good to find, too, but that’s a whole other can of beans.”
Stacy couldn’t keep Barrett here. Mental images of her grabbing onto his shirt as he tried to board the plane danced through her mind. Then they changed to images of everyone here pinning him down, and she shoved those away. Maybe there was something she could do, a way to remember Barrett and to give love to someone who once had it and had lost it along with her.
“I’ve got to go.”
“She’s going to stop him!” Frieda said, clapping her hands.
“No, I can’t do that. It wouldn’t be right. Barrett’s not the kind of guy to back out of a commitment.”
“She’s too nice,” Nita grumbled to the others.
“But I’m going to go rescue Elmo from the shelter. It’ll be like having a little bit of Barrett with me.” She might possibly have more of Barrett with her than they’d ever guess, but she wouldn’t talk about that just yet.
She took in the beloved faces around her and wondered whether she should chastise them or hug them. Maybe if she played it cool, they’d cut her some slack when she told them she was having a baby on her own.
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