by Jay Lang
Then, he stops suddenly and falls to his knees. I quickly come up behind him and grab his arm to help him up. When I look down, the name Jean Stewart Gordon jumps off a headstone.
“Mom,” I say, my lips quivering and my eyes watering. The strength drains out of my body, and I kneel beside my dad.
“It’s her, Dad. She’s right here.”
“I know, kid.”
Mom, my pretty and magical mom. I miss you so much. I would do anything to have you back, even for one minute, so I can tell you how much I love you, and how there’s been a dark void in my life since you left. You were so pretty and clever. I remember everything wonderful you did for us when things were bad, like when we had no money, and you would sing and dance in the kitchen with us while you gathered bits of food or leftovers to make a soup with. You made even the worst days happier. I’ve went for so many years stumbling through life, handicapped emotionally because I didn’t have you in my life.
Kneeling on the cold damp grass, I just wish the ground would open up and swallow Dad and me, so the four of us could be together again.
“There’s our little Abby,” Dad says, leaning over and running his hand over the stone beside my mother’s.
Reluctantly, I look over. Through blurry, watery eyes, I read the name, Abigail Dawn Gordon. Here she is, my sweet, beautiful Abby. I reach over and touch the dark engraving. I’m here, Abby. It’s Jules, and I’m right here honey, my tears fall on the grey stone.
I can see her now, sitting on the end of the bed and bugging me to play with her. Any little bit of attention she got from me was like gold to her. She was so full of life. Everything we did, no matter how mundane and repetitive, she would find something good in, like walking home from school or cleaning up our room. Her little spirit burned so brightly, and now she’s gone. The world is a darker place.
My father separates the flowers between the two stones and whispers, “I’ll be with you soon, my girls.”
I slowly stand and reach my hand down to him, “Come on Dad, it’s cold out and we should get you warmed up.” The truth is, I can’t stand here any longer. The pain is too much. Not to mention, Dad is frail and has just gotten out of the hospital. The cold out here can’t be doing him any favors.
Dad nods reluctantly, then lets me help him up. He stares at the graves for a couple quick moments before we turn in the direction of the truck. Just as we begin to walk, a huge wind brews up. I move in front of my dad to shelter him, expecting a freezing gust. Only, strangely enough the wind isn’t cold at all, it’s actually a lot warmer than I anticipated. The gale whips around Dad and I and sweeps over Abby and Mom’s gravestones, stirring the flowers. We stop and watch the flowers move then look at each other. “No way, they’re here!” we say in unison. Then, he smiles, and begins to laugh. Soon, I’m doing the same. Dad spreads his fingers and lets the warm breeze brush through them. I do the same. No matter how much pain the both of us were in just moments before, we’re not sad anymore. Instead, we’re jovial, warm and at peace. We stay still in the wind until it dissipates, leaving as fast as it came. The flowers on the stones are once again still.
* * *
On the ride downtown, we hold hands and smile, barely say a word. The enchanted feeling of what we just experienced lasts until we’re driving through Stanley park. The traffic is slow which means we have to spend more time sitting on the roadway through the thick trees. Looking out, I remember the small roads that Fournier’s goons took Slinky and I down and how the night ended with me being drugged and Slinky’s finger being sliced off. Then, I think about Fournier and how if I don’t come up with fifty grand, he will kill me and probably hurt Katie too. I don’t have that kind of money; I never did. Most of the jobs I’ve had are cash and carry and after payday rolls around, I’m barely able to make rent and food. Even if I sold my bike, I wouldn’t get even near fifty thousand for it. Next, my mind flashes back to my mother and sister’s graves. Fournier is responsible for all my family’s loss and grief. That piece of shit thinks he’s untouchable, surrounded by his muscle-bound underlings. Fuck him for everything he’s taken away from everyone, while he walks around scot free. Once again, the feeling of revenge consumes me.
I look over at my father in the passenger’s seat to make sure he hasn’t noticed my change in energy. The last thing I want to do is worry him after the emotional roller coaster we’ve just been on. Thankfully, he’s still smiling. I’m glad that we went to the graveyard, maybe not at first, but I am now. I know that if Dad had told me where we were going this morning, I never would have gone. But now , I feel like my mom and Abby are still with me.
As soon as we pull into the stall in the apartment underground, my phone buzzes. As Dad cautiously maneuvers out of the passenger side, I pick up my phone and look at the screen and see Slinky’s number. Instantly, I feel paranoid and anxious. I thought he was dead. How can he be calling me if Fournier had him killed? Dad waits for me in front of the truck, so I stuff my cell in my pocket and get out.
When we reach our floor, there are movers coming from the elevator next to us. They’re loading boxes into the suite at the end of the hall. “I wonder who’s moving in,” Dad says. Truth is, I’ve never really seen much of our neighbors since living here. Once or twice, I could hear a small dog barking on my way to or from our suite and the elevator.
Dad and I wait until the movers are out of the way before walking to our apartment and opening the door. Once inside, I walk into the kitchen and put water on for tea. Just as Dad takes his shoes off, there’s a knock on the door. For a quick second, I feel suspicious. Nobody we know would be coming to visit us. I’m just about to tell Dad to let me answer it when he turns the knob and opens the door. I walk up behind him, just in case Fournier sent someone to remind me of my debt and shake us up.
An elderly man about seventy is standing in the doorway and leaning on a cane. He is short and hunched over with grey thin hair.
“Can I help you?” my father asks.
“My name is Charlie and I’m just moving in at the end of the hall. I just wanted to introduce myself and apologize for any inconvenience that I may be causing with all of the movers coming and going,” he says in a kindly tone.
Seeing that there’s no threat to my father or me, I breathe a sigh of relief and go back to making tea. Dad, on the other hand, spends the next ten minutes gabbing with our new neighbor, covering subjects such as where each other is originally from, to the fact that they’re both widowers. The impromptu visit ends with them agreeing to have a coffee together this evening in Charlie’s suite, regardless of the mess of packed boxes.
When my father is sitting comfortably on the couch with his tea beside him, I take my phone to the bedroom and close the door, then direct my focus to Slinky. Before I dial his number, something occurs to me, what if Tank or Fournier has Slinky’s phone and Fournier or Tank found my contact information in his phone? If I take a chance and call the number, what if Fournier answers? He’ll start yelling and threatening for me to get his money. I don’t need to deal with that right now. Then again, maybe I’m just being paranoid and Slinky is alive, and it’s really him who’s calling me?
After debating if I should call him back or not, I decide that I won’t relax until I do. Lying back on the bed, I take a deep breath and call.
“Hello?”
I recognize his voice right away. It’s Slinky, though he sounds weak and tired.
“Slink, is this you?”
“Jules. Hi girl. Are you ok?”
“Yeah, I mean…I guess so. Are you ok?” I asked, shocked to be talking to him.
His tired voice snickers, “What did I tell you before?”
“Let me guess, you’re way too smart to be taken down?”
He laughs, “That’s right.”
“What happened to you that night, Slink?” I ask concerned.
“I’ll tell you when I see you.”
“When you see me? Are you crazy? Look what happened to you a
fter meeting with me. I’m amazed you’re alive.”
“Don’t worry about me, Jules. Remember what we talked about at Starbucks?”
“The book?”
“Yes, the book.”
“Do you mean, you still want to do that?”
“Unless you have fifty grand to pay Fournier.”
“Hell no.”
“Then, I still want to do it.”
“But, after what happened to us in Stanley Park, do you think we can? I mean…if we go to the bar when Fournier is out, who’s to say his henchmen won’t be there?”
“Leave it to me,” he says confidently, “and whatever you do, don’t worry about coming up with any money for that fuckhead, Fournier. You’re not paying him. Bottom line.”
“But what if we can’t get our hands on the book? What then? I have less than two weeks to come up with the cash. If I don’t, who knows what he’ll do to me.”
“Jules, listen carefully,” he says clearly. “We will get our hands on that book, and when we do, there’ll be no need to worry about that asshole anymore. I promise.”
I want to believe him, but I’m hesitant.
I hear my father calling me from the front room, and I tell Slinky that I have to go. He lets me know that he’ll be in touch soon then hangs up. I breathe a sigh of relief that Slinky’s alive.
Slipping my phone into my jean pocket, I walk out to the living room. Dad is standing in the kitchen and is riffling through the cupboards.
“Where’s the food?” he asks.
“We need to buy some, Dad.”
“Ok. I’ll give you some cash. You pick up some grub, and I’ll make dinner. Don’t forget to pick up some cheese and crackers too. I want to take a plate with me to Charlie’s later.”
“You’re really going over there?”
“Why not? It’ll be good to talk to another male, nothing personal,” he winks. “Plus, maybe you can get Katie to come over while I’m gone and you two can spend some time alone?”
That sounds like a great idea. My day has been anything but calm and seeing Katie is probably exactly what I need.
After Dad gives me a list of items for our dinner, plus cheese and crackers, I head out.
Once I’m in the truck, I pull out my phone and call Katie.
She answers on the first ring, “Jules, I was wondering when you were going to call. Did you have a good night with your dad?”
“Hey, sexy. Yes. Thanks. I had a great night with Dad and day too.”
“Really? What did you two get up to?”
“I’ll tell you all about it later,” I say, not wanting to get into it right now.
Katie is off from work, so I ask her if she wants to spend the night. Thankfully, she has no plans soshe agrees.
“I’ll be over to get you in a few minutes,” I say, smiling.
As I pull out of the underground and merge into traffic, I can’t help but reflect on Slinky and our conversation. Can his plan really work? There’s probably more that can go wrong with it than can go right, but what other choice do I have other than to go along with it? I have no way to raise the amount of money Fournier is demanding from me. Plus, who’s to say that if I did raise that kind of cash, he wouldn’t make me pay again? It’s not like the guy has a conscience.
* * *
It takes quite a bit of time to drive through the congested city center, but I finally reach Coal Harbor and pull up to Katie’s building. I text her and in just a few short minutes, she walks out of the lobby to the truck. Everything about her looks like she just walked out of a Models Inc. magazine. She’s wearing a little black skirt with a long pink coat and black ankle boots. Her hair is perfect, and her face is healthy and glowing. She’s beautiful inside and out. I sigh. I don’t think there’s anything I wouldn’t do for her.
We shop at a small market on Davie street and then drive along the water and park in a lot by the Oak Street Bridge. Katie tells me about her visit with her parents, and I fill her in on my visit to the graveyard with Dad. She tells me that she’d love to visit where Mom and Abby are buried and pay her respects. It’s no surprise that she’d want to visit Abby’s grave, but I love the fact that she’s equally interested in seeing my mom’s grave. Katie asks how my father is and if his condition is worsening?
“I’ve noticed when he’s gotten a few headaches, but I don’t say anything to him. He’s proud that way and the last thing he ever wants to be is a victim.”
“I’ll remember that,” she nods.
* * *
Over dinner, Dad and Katie talk while my mind drifts to Slinky, Fournier, and the book. The call that Slinky and I had earlier has left me with a ton of confusing questions. What if we get caught trying to retrieve the book from his private room with the red door? It’ll be a death sentence for both Slinky and me. And what happens if we are successful? Who do we give the book to? Other bad guys? Or do we just drop it off with the cops? I guess I should put more faith in the fact that Slinky has a plan; I mean…he’s managed to stay alive on the streets so far. He must know what he’s doing to some degree. Plus, the bottom line is, I need Slinky right now. For me to come up with fifty grand is near impossible, so Slinky’s idea of using the book as a way of getting rid of the debt… well I kind of have no choice but to go along with him.
“Jules…Jules? Where are you right now?” says Katie.
“Oh. I’m sorry. I guess I was spacing out,” I say, resuming eating.
Dad looks at me with a curious expression.
When we’re finished dinner, Katie and I do dishes, and Dad sits on the couch, with the remote and flicks through the channels.
* * *
After an hour of watching TV, Dad fixes a plate of cheese and crackers and takes it down the hall to Charlie’s. I poke my head into the hallway and watch until I see Charlie answer, and Dad goes inside. When the coast is clear, I shut the door and tell Katie that we’re alone in the apartment for at least the next hour. Running down the hall in a race to get to my room, we take off our clothes as quickly as possible and fall onto the bed laughing. When we start to kiss, our bodies heat up and soon we are sweaty and hot, our bodies sliding against each other. We take turns pleasing one another, both of us climaxing repeatedly. When we’re spent, we lie naked on top of the bed, out of breath with our arms around each other. I laugh when Katie sprints out of the room stark naked to get us a much-needed drink from the kitchen. While she’s gone, I lean over the bed and grab my pants, pulling my cell out of my pocket to check the time. The last thing I want is for my father to come home while Katie is in the kitchen with no clothes on.
Katie runs back in the room holding two glasses of water. She uses her foot to shut the door then passes me a glass. Still holding my phone, I reach out with my free hand to take my drink when my phone rings. It’s Jason. Quickly putting my glass on the end table, I answer the phone.
“What’s up, girl?” he says cheerfully.
“Umm, not too much. Just lying around,” I say, winking at Katie.
“Did I catch you at a bad time? You sound bagged.”
“No. I’m fine,” I say, trying not to laugh. If Jason knew that I am naked right now with a naked girl beside me, he’d never let me hear the end of it.
“What’s up, Jay? Is everything ok?”
“It is. In fact, it’s better than ok. I’m actually calling with some news.”
“You have more news since you called me recently?”
“I do. I’ve actually decided to make England my home.”
“No way. Do you mean forever?”
“Yep. Exactly what I mean.”
“Does your dad know?”
“He does. And surprisingly, he was for it. He’s actually looking forward to coming over in June.”
“How cool. Your father is going to go see you?”
“Well yeah. It would be pretty lame of me to get married without my dad being here.”
“Jay, what in the hell?”
He laughs and
says, “That’s right babe. I’m getting hitched.”
“That was bloody sudden. How long have you been there, five minutes?”
“I know. But, when you know, you know. And for the first time in my life, I’m completely sure about this.”
“Aww, Jay. I’m so happy for you.”
“Thanks, Jules. Anyways, listen. There’s a couple of things I need to discuss with you.”
Oh shit. He’s moving to England permanently and he’s going to have to sell this apartment. He’s going to tell me that I have to move.
“Ok. What’s up?” I ask, hesitantly.
“The apartment. I’m obviously not going to be using it any more so…”
“So, you need me to be out of here.” I say, trying to beat him to it.
“No. Of course not. What I am trying to say is that because I won’t be living there anymore, at some point, I’ll need to sell. If you really like it and want to stay living there, I’d like to sell it to you.”
“What? Oh, Jay. That would be great, except for one major thing. I have very little money for a down payment and other than my bike, I’ve got nothing for to use as equity.”
“I know. Don’t worry about it. You can go on payments or whatever. We’ll be coming for a visit in the summer and we’ll work it out then.”
Katie coughs in the background.
“Who was that?” says Jason.
“Would you believe the cleaning lady?”
“Nope, I wouldn’t.”
I laugh.
I tell him that Katie is here with me and then prepare myself for a plethora of jeering lines that I’m sure he’ll say. Instead, he tells me to say hello to Katie and that he can’t wait to meet her. He really must be in love. He’s behaving completely out of character.