by Shayla Black
“I’d love that.” Dan looks like a pleased, proud father.
I want to throw up. “When?”
She hesitates. “Saturday.”
In six fucking days? That’s how long I have to see if tying herself to Derek would be the biggest mistake of her life and stop her?
“Oh, wow. Well…” Dan rubs his hands together. “We have a lot of planning to do, then. How about we sit down to dinner, and you can tell me what you’re envisioning.”
While Perrie’s father wastes his time with that, I’ll figure out how to get her alone so I can hear her side of this clusterfuck—without her fiancé butting in.
Perrie
Hayden can see right through me; I’m sure of it.
I escaped the tension of the dinner table to do the dishes, but I’m still a nervous wreck. Hayden glared at Derek throughout the entire meal. I know the million and one reasons my fiancé doesn’t like my childhood crush. And my father seems oblivious to the undercurrents.
Could this get any more awkward?
Unfortunately, yes. If Hayden discovers my secret, it will be a hundred times worse.
As I tuck the last of the silverware into the dishwasher and slam the door shut, I wonder if I’ve made the right choice. Maybe I should explain everything. But I run the risk of shocking and disappointing my father. Ugh, I can’t deal with that now. After eight hours of travel and one of the most stressful evenings in memory, I’m beat.
Thank goodness my father and Derek were gung ho to scout out the backyard for the perfect ceremony site—and that Hayden seems completely focused on dissecting my fiancé. I don’t expect that to last. He’ll soon turn his attention on me, and then…I’m almost afraid to ask.
I’d been hoping I wouldn’t feel any of this crazy lovesickness when I set eyes on him. But now it’s painfully clear that I’ll have to deal with these nagging feelings until Saturday—just like I’ve done for the past four years.
“Perrie.”
Speak of the devil.
“Hayden.” I don’t look at him as he saunters into the kitchen, his stare glued to me. Unfortunately, I can’t shake the certainty that I’m transparent. Please don’t let him see my heart shivering and naked in front of him. “What’s up?”
He takes hold of my left hand—jolting me with his touch—and stares at my engagement ring. It’s huge and not at all what I would have picked. Even under the kitchen lights, it both sparkles and screams that I’m someone’s woman—which is exactly what Derek wanted.
Without a word, Hayden releases my hand and pins me with the sort of stare that makes me squirm. “Tell me what you’re doing.”
“What does it look like? I’m doing the dishes.”
“Don’t play dumb. Three months, princess? What’s your rush? And don’t give me that one-thing-led-to-another bullshit. You’re not usually impulsive.”
“I appreciate your concern, but Derek is great. Don’t worry.”
He scowls. “Did you think that script would work with me? It makes Dan and his daddy-guilt feel better to believe you, but I’m going to be a tougher sell. Do you love him?”
God, he’s more direct than I remember.
I reach for the dirty pans. “Pass me the dish soap, please.”
Heaving a frustrated sigh, Hayden grabs my shoulders. “The fucking dishes will wait until we’ve talked.”
He’s too close. I can’t take it.
I wrench away and shake my head. “You don’t get to do this. I gave you an opportunity—”
“You were too young.”
“That didn’t make what I felt any less real. But if you think you can swoop in four years later and take me up on my stupid offer now that I’m ‘old enough,’ you’re sorely mistaken.”
“Does he make you happy?”
“Derek has been so good to me. And for me.” It’s the truth.
“Are you kidding? He fucking patronized you. He made your career seem like something cute and barely worth his notice. That can’t be okay with you. I know you way too well to believe that.”
“You don’t understand.”
“Maybe you don’t,” he argues as he advances on me again. Backed into the kitchen, the stove behind me, I have nowhere to go. “You deserve someone who’s so proud of you he’s willing to shout your praises. Hell, you deserve a man who worships you. I don’t think that’s him.”
“It’s not you, either, so it’s none of your business.”
“What if I make it my business?”
My heart stops. “What does that mean?”
“Can you look me in the eye and tell me you love this man?”
“I love Derek.”
Hayden grinds his teeth as he scrutinizes my expression, taking me apart second by second.
What if he really can see through me?
“Does he make you breathless as a lover? Are you eager to marry him? Do you want to have his children? Are you in that kind of love with him? Because so far, I’m not buying it.”
“Why can’t you stop playing twenty questions, congratulate me, and let it go?”
The smile that plays at his lips makes me nervous as hell. “One reason: I think you still have feelings for me. And you know what? I’ll come clean. I wanted you back then, too. That hot-as-fuck kiss has haunted me since you left, and if you’d had any idea how close I was to tossing you on your bed and being the first—and last—man inside you, it would have scared the hell out of you.”
My heart chugs in my chest, and I cross my arms to hide my trembling. “Why tell me now?”
“Because I don’t think you and I are through.”
I shake my head. “I’m getting married.”
“I know you think so. But I want to see just how attached you are to him.”
He charges into my personal space and seizes my face in his hands, his lips hovering a breath above my own. We pant. Our breaths mingle. He’s so, so close…
Oh, god, Hayden is going to kiss me. I’m ashamed to admit how desperately I want it.
The slamming of the back door and the rumble of Derek’s voice blending with my father’s sends me wrenching from his arms. “Leave me alone.”
He curses softly, then holds up his hands as if he’s giving up. “For now.”
But I know better. Once Hayden decides he wants something, he’ll stop at nothing to take it. He will come at me relentlessly until I get married…or get weak.
God help me.
2
Hayden
Over the next couple of days, Perrie is gone more than she’s around. I can’t decide if she’s hurriedly dashing here and there to whip this wedding together or to avoid me.
Either way, it hasn’t escaped my notice that Derek hasn’t lifted a finger to help her to plan their nuptials.
Lazy asshole. If I were marrying her…
But I can’t go there. That thought only drives me insane.
The bottom line is, I don’t like it—and I don’t like him. Am I jealous that he’s had the woman I’m aching for? Sure. But he’s also a jerk, holing himself up in the study and pounding on his laptop, phone seemingly glued to his ear. Does he think he’s too important to help her? I don’t get what she sees in this guy.
It’s time I found out.
Making my way down the hall, I spy Derek in the study, working frantically, hair disheveled, tie thrown across the room.
I don’t bother with hello. “I need to talk to you.”
“It will have to wait. Would you mind telling Perrie that I can’t go with her to the cake tasting? A damn conference call just cropped up, and it’s really important.”
But your wedding isn’t?
It’s all I can do not to roll my eyes. “If you give me five minutes, sure.”
It shouldn’t take me that long to figure out why Perrie said yes to this asswipe, but I’m giving myself extra time in case he proves to be as slimy as I suspect.
From what I’ve seen, he’s done nothing but put her last. He’s a young
er, shinier version of Dan. But if Derek bailing on her—yet again—convinces Perrie not to marry him, I’m happy to pass the message along.
“All right. What do you need?” Derek looks ready to dive back into work now that he’s found an errand boy to blow off his fiancée for him.
I’ve gone from wanting to punch him to wondering what’s the worst that can happen if I do.
“Oh, for fuck’s sake, would you stop looking at me like that?” Derek snarls.
“Like what?”
“You’re judging me. It’s not as if I wanted work to explode the week Perrie needs me most.”
“I’m sure she understands.” But I don’t. It’s a matter of priorities.
“Look, if this deal goes through, it will solidify our future. I don’t owe you an explanation, and Perrie knows what’s up. But I’m filling you in so you’ll lighten up.”
Derek’s tone says he isn’t fond of me—and he knows the feeling is mutual. Did Perrie tell him that she once had a thing for me? Or has he sensed the undercurrent of attraction still between us?
“Tell me what you love most about her.”
“Everything. She’s beautiful, man.” He shrugs. “Sweet, kind, funny, wicked smart. Everything I could have dreamed of…almost.” He sends me a speculative glance. “But sometimes she’s distant.”
I sense Derek trying to turn the tables. I’m curious; I’ll bite. “Yeah?”
Her fiancé nods. “I worry she’s not as emotionally invested in our relationship as I am.”
Is he kidding me right now? In the last forty-eight hours, she’s waited on him hand and foot while singlehandedly planning their small wedding. And don’t get me started on what I imagine she’s letting him do to her in her childhood bedroom where I kissed her first.
“Why would you say that?” I finally ask.
“A couple of weeks after we met, she opened up to me about once having been in love with this guy back home. She said they used to be close. But apparently, he didn’t want her. I’ve been wondering all this time who it could be. I didn’t really think I’d meet him on this trip since he rebuffed her and all. But here you are, right under her nose, putting off the hey, baby vibes while looking at me like you’d love to rip me in two.” Derek leans closer and sends me a sharp, narrow-eyed stare that proves he’s a good salesman because he can read people. “Let me tell you something. You had your chance to make her happy. Now it’s mine.”
He wants to measure dicks? Totally not interested. What’s fascinating, though, is Derek’s admission that Perrie can be distant. If she felt the need to tell her boy toy about me four years after I let her down, then it’s entirely possible she still has feelings for me.
If that’s true, why is she engaged to this corporate drone?
Because you rejected her, dipshit. She’s marrying this dude because of you.
Fuck. I have to stop her.
“I don’t think you can make her happy,” I say finally.
Derek scowls. “I don’t care what you think.”
“That’s the first thing we’ve agreed on,” I remark. “I don’t care what you think, either.”
“You turned Perrie down, old man. She’s no longer your concern. So why don’t you get out of my face?”
“I turned her down then because she was too young. But you know what that means? I was her first choice.”
“Fuck you.”
And fuck you, too, pal. “Did you know Perrie hates the rain? Or that she’s ambitious as hell? Did you consider any of that before you decided on this grand move to Seattle, apparently without consulting her?”
“Back off. You don’t get to play the I-don’t-want-her-but-you-can’t-have-her game. She’s not a trophy you win if you run me off. She’s a woman who wants a man to love her. You’ve already proven that’s not you. So in four days, she’ll be Mrs. Kingston, and you’ll be a memory.”
He’s dead fucking wrong, and continuing this conversation is a waste of both my breath and time. “If thinking that helps you sleep better, have fun.” I turn to leave.
He leaps out of his chair. “Where are you going?”
“To find Perrie.”
“Don’t you dare fuck with her.”
Derek looks worried. He should be.
I flash him a satisfied smirk and a mocking wave. “Enjoy your conference call.”
With a whistle, I leave. I’ve got a girl to win back and only a few days to do it. The good news is, I know exactly where to start…
Perrie
On the back patio, I try to absorb the blinding blue October day. I sandwich my phone between my ear and my shoulder, half listening to the caterer’s quote. “Uh-huh. I like that idea.”
I really have no idea what I’m agreeing with. I’m way too focused on what Hayden will do next.
During dessert the other night, he “accidentally” brushed against me a hundred times, until my body was aching, every nerve ending on fire.
When Derek and I retired to my childhood bedroom afterward, he wanted to talk about the move to Seattle and the future. I pleaded a headache, hopped into the shower, and masturbated through a trio of orgasms that left me wrung out and teary but distinctly unsatisfied.
Yesterday, I tried to focus on the details for this admittedly small but important event. The flowers were easy since I really only need a bouquet to carry and a few arrangements to line the trellised arch that will serve as the makeshift altar. I rented tables and chairs for roughly twenty-five people. I texted a few friends from both high school and college to invite them. But I still don’t have a dress, an officiant, a photographer, or a cake. I’ve got at least a hundred other details that need addressing. Derek is god knows where in the house, so it’s up to me to finish them, but I’m way too distracted to check anything off my list.
Why did I think this was a good idea?
“What?” I say to the caterer because I totally lost my train of thought to Hayden.
It happens a lot.
Thankfully, she offers to email her food suggestions and her quote, then we hang up. I’ll read everything when I’m more focused.
“Hi, princess.” Hayden strolls up in ripped denim shorts and a tight tank that shows off the fact he works with his body for a living. The sun loves this man. The skin over his bulging muscles is a rich golden brown that reminds me exactly why I always looked forward to our days at the water park. Hayden in a bathing suit is a work of art.
I try not to drool. “Hey. You’re not working today?”
“I’d rather spend time with you. How’s the wedding planning?”
He knows exactly how to make me melt. “Slow.”
“Need help?”
I shoot him a suspicious glance. “Why? Two days ago, you told me I was marrying the wrong man. Changed your mind?”
“No. I just had a chat with Dipshit—I mean, Derek. I’m more convinced than ever that I’m right. By the way, he told me to tell you he can’t come with you to test cakes.”
I sigh. “We both worried this week would get crazy. He and his business partner are trying to wrap up a big negotiation before the move.”
“Business comes first. Got it.” Hayden shoots me a stare full of mock confusion. “I thought you didn’t want to marry someone like your father.”
He’s not wrong, but I don’t dare validate him now. “Did you come to pass judgment or to help?”
“To help. I’m all yours…”
The way he smiles tells me he doesn’t just mean to assist me in wedding planning, but anything else I want. I’d love to ask him about his relationships and sex life…but I can’t say in one breath that I’m not interested and get personal in the next.
“Thanks. Know a good photographer or officiant?”
That perks him up. “Actually, yeah. My sister moved here last year. I don’t know if Dan told you…”
“No, but I doubt she wants to shoot my wedding pictures. That’s way below her pay grade.”
Hannah is a fashion photog
rapher—one of the best in the business. Her pictures are stunning. She’s great at capturing both striking angles and emotion with every shot.
“She’ll do it. Promise.” He winks. “So cross that off your list.”
“That’s amazing. I really appreciate it. But why would she move here?” She’s lived in New York forever and constantly traveled the world. “Phoenix is hardly a fashion mecca.”
“She gave me a lot of mumbo-jumbo about her reasons for relocating, but ultimately it has one appeal she couldn’t resist.”
“You?” I’m sure my stare reflects how skeptical I am about that.
“Not even close.” He grins. “I’m not supposed to know this, but she and your father are…together.”
I gape. “Are you sure? My dad works. He never dates.”
“Every since Hannah came to visit me last spring, he does. They hit it off, and I’m pretty sure they hooked up. After that, they started talking and…I think it’s getting serious.”
“So you’re saying she’d shoot my wedding as a favor to my dad, not you?”
“Pretty much.”
“But neither of them has actually told you about their relationship?”
“Not in so many words. They think I’m blind or something. It’s funny. But the good news is, Dan finally started working a lot less.” Hayden takes my hand, and I smother a gasp at the fire his simple touch ignites. “He didn’t learn to put the people in his life first soon enough to save his marriage to your mom. Or to give you the childhood you deserved. But he has learned since Hannah.”
“Now that I think about it, he’s been around a lot more in the last couple of days.”
“It took your dad twenty years to figure out what was most important.” He shoots me a speculative stare. “How long will that lesson take Derek? Do you really want to marry someone who will put you last for years? Decades?”
“Stop.” It’s all I can say. Every moment I’m with Hayden, I feel so weak.
“I’m right, and you know it.”
I snatch my phone off the table and grab my nearby car keys. “I have to go or I’ll be late to the cake testing.”