Trapped Inside Humanity

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Trapped Inside Humanity Page 2

by Bernice Burgos


  Angel took what she liked to call a “college shower.” She jumped into the glass shower, washed her private areas, and jumped out. She rapidly brushed her teeth, put on lotion, deodorant, and fumbled through her short dark hair. There was never a day that went by where she did not miss her long hair. She made a drastic decision to cut it all off after her husband’s tragic death. “He’s been dead for too long already. We can’t continue to hold on to the things he cherishes the most. There has to be a point when we slowly start letting go. This doesn’t mean we forget him. It just means we slowly start to accept the fact that he is gone and isn’t coming back. It starts with the hair, ” she spoke convincingly to her reflection in the mirror the day she took a pair of house scissors and cut off every length of her lavish full hair.

  She grabbed her black-rimmed glasses and ran towards her bedroom’s, nicely organized, walk-in closet. It was filled with mostly designer suits and colorful dresses, from Oscar De La Renta, Carolina Herrera, and PRADA. Angel loved to shop top-notch; but every now and then, she made room for simple wear such as her Target yoga pants and Wal-Mart flannel shirts. Money wasn’t much of an issue for Angel, as she made well over six figures. With the death of her husband, she collected on his life insurance policy and was also collecting his pension, which added to her income.

  Angel pulled out her navy-blue Giorgio Armani pants suit that was freshly pressed from the cleaners. She quickly put on her undergarments and grabbed a white silk blouse from the hanger. She pulled the blouse over her head and took one look at her reflection in the mirror, admiring her curvy frame. She usually wore a size six; but with her wide hips and small waist, she sometimes wore an eight, depending on the cut of the fabric. Darn, I better hit the gym for an extra hour tonight, she thought. She stared at her legs and raised her silk blouse midway revealing, what seemed to her, a protruding belly. Her thighs jiggled lightly as she placed one foot at a time into her pant legs, and her stomach felt a bit bloated.

  “Lay off the late-night snacks,” she scolded her reflection while zipping her pants up.

  The back of Angel’s silk blouse was lace and see-through. The lace exposed a detailed tattoo of wings that began from her shoulder blades and ended a bit past her waist, a gift she picked out for herself while going through her difficult times. She reassured herself that as long as she kept on her blazer, none of her co-workers would see it.

  Angel was fully dressed in thirty minutes and still had twenty more to spare. She walked into the kitchen with her brown leather Louis Vuitton shoulder bag and cell phone in hand. The coffee that Jesse had previously made for her was waiting at the edge of the breakfast table. Maggie was sitting innocently at the table, dressed in her school uniform that consisted of a white button-down shirt and a navy blue and red pleated skirt. Her hair was combed into a nice high bun, a matching blue and red sash tied around it. She was happily eating the waffles Jesse prepared for her while listening to Spanish music in the earbuds that were coming from her tablet. Jesse sat across from her reading his history textbook for a test he was having later in the day.

  Angel looked at Jesse who was extremely focused on his reading.

  “So, any news from Harvard?”

  Jesse didn’t answer. Instead, he took a moment to think about how he was going to dodge the college questions.

  “Okay, any news from Yale, then?”

  Jesse remained quiet.

  “Jesse, I know you can hear me since you’re not the one wearing earbuds,” Angel sounded annoyed.

  Jesse often remained quiet when he tried to avoid a question he didn’t want to answer. Somewhere in his mind he felt he would disappear if he remained quiet. After a few awkward seconds Jesse finally spoke up.

  “Yes, I got into both,” he answered without looking away from his history book.

  “Oh My Goodness, Jesse, that is amazing!” She walked over excitedly to hug her son.

  Jesse shot up off his chair to intercept Angel’s embrace and enthusiasm.

  “But mom, there’s something you should know.”

  “Listen, Jesse, I know the schools are expensive but don’t worry about that; your father’s death left enough money for you and Maggie to attend Harvard.”

  “No, mom, that’s not the issue.” Jesse’s forehead began to perspire.

  Angel could feel that the news he was about to give was going to be more shocking than devastating, or maybe shockingly devastating. Either way, she braced herself for the worst; and could feel his emotions roiling in a state of fear.

  “I didn’t only get accepted to Harvard and Yale. I also got accepted to Louisiana State University on a full four-year football scholarship.” Angel stared at Jesse puzzled.

  “I accepted their offer. I don’t want to go to Harvard or Yale. I don’t want to be a businessman. I can’t see myself working behind a desk all my life. I want to play professional football. That’s my dream, that’s my passion; and if you can’t accept me for following my dream then I guess I will have to prove you wrong and make it big.”

  Angel was right. Jesse’s news was shocking. Shocking because he has never mentioned anything about going pro and he has never spoken to her in such a stern manner. She could feel the weight of secrets coming off Jesse’s shoulders. He felt good about getting the news out of his system but terrible because of the harsh tone and ultimatum he used to get his point across. Angel and Jesse stood toe-to-toe staring directly at each other. Seeming as if one, was waiting on the other, to throw their first punch. Even if Jesse stood a few inches taller than her, that was never going to intimidate her from backing down. Maggie stopped devouring her waffles and looked up to see her mother and brother in a staring competition.

  “Uh oh,” blurted Maggie as if Jesse just got himself grounded for the rest of his life.

  “I apologize for my tone,” responded Jesse, quickly apologizing for speaking out of turn.

  Angel processed Jesse’s speech. She couldn’t deny it; he was a damned good quarterback who led his school’s team to win their first National Championship game in 15 years. She was heavily involved in raising money for his team so the kids could participate in Nationals. When they won, it was the proudest moment of her life. Just think if he has the opportunity to go pro and actually wins the super bowl. He’s going to need a financial advisor, she thought to herself. However, she quickly realized that Jesse was just like his biological mother Camila in-a-way. Not great at communicating effectively. Why didn’t he speak up? Angel thought.

  Angel broke the silence when she screamed at the top of her lungs in excitement and jumped on her son hugging him tightly. She couldn’t be happier at the decision he made. The unexpected embrace caught him off guard and he almost lost his balance. He stumbled, his back hitting the wall, as he returned the hug. Maggie popped off her chair and ran over to give hugs even though she wasn’t fully aware of what was happening.

  “Mom, so you’re not upset that I denied Harvard and Yale,” asked Jesse, loosening his arms around his mom and sister. By this time Angel was shedding tears of joy.

  “No, baby, no, not at all. Fuck those schools,” she replied, momentarily forgetting about Maggie.

  Maggie gasped at her mother’s choice of words.

  Angel looked down at her and scolded, “Never repeat that.”

  Maggie smiled and nodded in acknowledgment.

  “All I ever want is the best for you and your sister. I was afraid you had no idea what you wanted to do after high school. But now, you have the opportunity of a lifetime. I just wish you would have said something so I could have supported you more and not sound so pushy about my career choices.”

  “It’s alright, mom. Coach supported me a lot through this. I know how busy you’ve been, and he’s been like a...”

  “A father figure,” Angel said, finishing his sentence.

  “Yeah, he’s been like a father figure, no offense to you though, mom.”

  “I completely understand, and I’m so happy he’s been th
ere. I need to thank him.”

  Angel wiped the tears from her eyes and kissed Jesse on his cheeks in pure happiness. She couldn’t stop hugging him but had to break away.

  “I better get going, we can talk about this more later. We need to celebrate! We’ll have dinner at your favorite restaurant tonight,” replied Angel embracing Maggie and Jesse one last time while grabbing her coat and belongings to leave for a full day.

  “Drop your sister off at school for me?” Angel asked hurriedly.

  “Yep! I got you.”

  “I can’t wait to get to work to let everyone know that my son is going to be a college football player. EEEEKKKKK.” Angel jumped up and down one last time before finally heading out the door.

  2

  The J.O.B

  New York City is nothing but a dump, Angel thought to herself while boarding the L train toward Manhattan. The Bedford stop in Williamsburg wasn’t too far from the city. It would take her three stops to get to Fourteenth Street-Union Square to connect with the next train she needed. The subway station reeked of homelessness and garbage, reasons good enough to hate the New York City Mass Transit System. I’ll have to remind myself not to touch anything, thought Angel as she listened to the crowd of people coughing and sneezing. She anxiously hoped they all covered their mouths, the last thing she needed was to carry germs back home to Maggie. It was times like this that she desperately wished she took a cab or drove into the city, but parking and traffic were horrendous during the morning rush hour. Instead, Angel shuffled through her iPhone to listen to her smooth Jazz playlist, blocking out the noise of chatter and subway rattling.

  As she entered the subway car, she noticed that there were no available seats; and people were back to back holding on to the silver metal poles and leaning against the subway doors. She managed to navigate her way to the center of the car, wedged in between a very large woman wrapped in the brightest pink scarf she had ever seen and a gentleman with a long orange beard wearing a tweed blazer as a coat in the dead of winter. Angel lightly brushed shoulders with the bearded man while trying to grab the metal pole above her to hold on.

  “Excuse me,” she stated politely as she adjusted her position so as not to fall.

  The man smiled at her and continued staring at the billboard in front of him. Sometimes Angel didn’t mind riding the subway. It gave her time to clear her head or plan the rest of her day out. She was still excited about Jesse’s college decision and pulled out her phone to text J.C., her co-worker and friend, about it. He’s going to be so excited, she thought as she texted. I wish I could call Jack. This is when I miss him the most. He’s missing the biggest moments of our lives. He would have thrown the biggest party and called every cop friend in town to brag about his son. Jack would have taken all the credit, as well, since he’d been teaching and playing football with Jesse since he was a child. Angel sighed thinking about her deceased husband. The thought of him brought her into a deep trance as the train rumbled through the tunnels.

  “Excuse me,” says a calm voice. The woman sitting in front of Angel squeezed herself past as she exited the train. She snapped back to reality and realized it was her stop. She hustled to get off with the crowd and made her way to the uptown number 6 train.

  So many people and so many emotions, she thought as she sensed the feelings of the people around her. Upon entering her next train, she stood with her back against the doors, clutching on her shoulder bag. She noticed a young couple standing across from her, the woman’s back was towards her while the man leaned against the double doors. They were cuddling and planting gentle kisses on each other.

  Awww, how adorable, thought Angel. She could feel the woman’s passion for her lover. The woman was completely in love, drunk and high on lustful emotions, not being able to stop her hands from caressing him with eager affection. Angel’s thoughts about the couple drastically changed when the man caught her staring. They briefly locked eyes as the man secretly smiled at her. Angel darted her eyes to the floor in embarrassment.

  What’s their story? She wondered. She slowly glanced her eyes back towards the couple, hoping not to be seen. The man was occupied with the whispers from his lover that he didn’t notice her examining them again. The feeling of deceit and manipulation hit Angel like the burning taste of whiskey. The man was not genuinely in love; his manner of adoration was forced, fake, and he did a great acting job of convincing his lover otherwise.

  Angel focused a bit harder trying to understand the man’s motives. If he was not in love, why string his companion along? In her mind, she needed answers. As the scene around Angel became a bit hazy, she was interrupted by the annoyed sound of the woman’s voice. “Is there a problem, MISS?” demanded the love-struck woman.

  Angel quickly collected her thoughts, “No, my apologies, I thought the gentleman was someone I knew.”

  “Someone you knew, like who? Because you are staring mighty hard at my boyfriend’s face,” replied the woman angrily. Angel grew uneasy and began tugging on the bottom of her sleeve.

  “I can see you through the window, lady.” The woman pointed, raising her voice, slightly forcing a few straphangers to look in their direction.

  Angel felt her hands tingling; she calmed the heat that was boiling inside her by taking a deep breath and slowly exhaling. She didn’t want to resort to violence so early in the morning, especially when she knew the strung-on lover would not win. It wasn’t as if she was going to tell the lady that her boyfriend didn’t love her or that he was unfaithful. Angel gathered all that information with one stare.

  The train pulled into her stop; she was never more relieved in her life.

  “Have a nice day,” stated Angel casually as she walked past the couple resorting to walking away before someone got hurt.

  The woman stepped aside, turned her attention to her lover, and began questioning him privately. All one could see was the man shrugging his shoulders and shaking his head no. The sight of an argument he was surely losing.

  She’ll figure it out one day, thought Angel with her New York mentality as she continued on her way and turned her focus to the music in her ears. Why me? she pondered as usual. I’m just an ordinary person trying to make ends meet like everyone else. Meanwhile, I’m forced to know things that I don’t want to know. GOD has seriously cursed me.

  3

  The Meeting

  Fifty-Ninth Street was Angel’s final destination. She was relieved when she finally arrived. The smell of the coffee carts mixed with exhaust fumes coming from the cars and buses roaring through the overcrowded streets irritated her nostrils. Luckily for her, the building her firm operated from sat right on the corner of Fifty-Ninth Street and Lexington Avenue, so she didn’t have a far walk. It never failed; Fifty-Ninth Street was constantly crowded. It is a melting pot of people rushing mindlessly towards their destinations. Angel loved that about New York. She loved the diversity and culture that the city brought.

  Angel enjoyed meeting people from all around the world. It’s one of the many reasons why she chose to work for the largest international financial advising firm in the United States: Gibson & Stein. It gave her the opportunity to travel internationally, learn different languages, and explore the trade and investment game on different levels. Other than the English language, Angel was fluent in Spanish, German, and French. She was trying her hardest to study Japanese, but it was a struggle for her. The commitment it took just to learn how to read one Kanji character nearly killed her brain cells.

  She had to admit, Gibson & Stein hired many intelligent people from the finest schools around the world. She was surrounded by the offspring of politicians, colleagues with Ivy League degrees from Dartmouth and Yale, and people who transferred from Gibson & Stein’s sister firm in Europe. Although the firm prided itself on its elite staff, there was one thing many of the employees lacked that Angel mastered―the gift to schmooze. Angel was a master at sealing deals, gaining the trust of her clients, and bringing in top revenue and
results to the company. Scared money makes no money, was her motto. She was a firm believer that if a client was afraid to invest with her, then they were not ready to double their profits. Angel could sell water to a thirsty whale if you tested her. Her persistence and straightforward assertiveness to reach her goals are what earned her the big office with an assistant. She was confident that she wasn’t just good at her job; she was great.

  A person does not know what real money is until they have worked or invested with Gibson & Stein. They generally handled accounts from millionaires and those trying to grow their thousands to millions or millions to billions. Angel’s largest account was a well-known hotel owner in Berlin. The German owner had been working with her for years and had saved and earned millions over their venture together. In gratitude, he had offered Angel unlimited free nights at any of his hotels when, or if, she ever decided to visit Germany. An occasional diamond bracelet or watch, theater tickets to sold-out shows, and VIP box Super Bowl events were not rare to come by when her clients were pleased; however, free hotels or travel was. When a client offered a free week’s sail on a yacht to the Caribbean or ski resort weekend passes, those were golden tickets. Not that Angel needed any of it, but the gesture was always wonderfully accepted.

  Berlin this summer doesn’t sound too bad, she thought while walking toward her office. She didn’t have much planned for the summer, and Germany just became on the top of her list.

  The firm would always host office games to boost morale within the company. The advisor with the steadiest clients received a $170,000 bonus, and the advisor to get the most clients within the year received an all-expense-paid, seven-day trip to anywhere in the United Emirates. Angel won the United Emirates trip last year and enjoyed it very much with her family. This year, it was a cruise to Greece for fifteen days to the employee that had given their client the best financial advice in the past year. That would mean the client would have had to earn a good amount of money off of their advisor’s advice. Since G & S documented everything and followed up with all details, it wouldn’t be hard to get the results of that question.

 

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