Fit To Be Tied (Smack It, Flip It, Rub It Down)
by Riley, Dréa
What the heck is the point of traveling all the way across oceans if you can’t kick off some ish? While Denmark might not seem like a place where you’d find the Posse, no country, territory or hole in the ground is safe from these women. Down for a little adventure, they head to Billund—home of the original Legoland. They’re not even there half an hour before the whole group is called on the carpet for daring to critique some of the exhibits. The authorities deliver a long-winded lecture on the history of the toy blocks, which is overshadowed by Jayha’s eight-word response in much the same way as Everett’s 13,607 word speech at Gettysburg was overshadowed by Lincoln’s three-minute speech. Jayha’s polite, “Respectfully speaking, you can kiss my whole ass,” leads to the entire Posse’s banishment from the park. While Jayha leaves, you know the rest of the Posse can’t simply leave it at that. They want pictures to put in the scrapbook of Posse Misadventures. They get a long-distance hookup from Yazmin, who is still in Italy enjoying shopping and Italian hotties along with Reid. Leaving Laura, Shara and Raelynn to use their wiles to distract the guards, Jeanie and Dréa sneak in and get pictures… And get caught. Blissfully unaware of how close her homies are to visiting Danish prison, Jayha’s still at the small café where they left her enjoying hot chocolate. Only when she receives a call from the authorities does she realize what’s going on. Rushing to the amusement park, she groans at the sight before her. Besides blue jeans and leather jackets, the chicks are all sporting Viking horns. Taking a deep breath, she exhales and marches in, knowing this will not end well. …And so the adventure begins.