by Nikki Ashton
“You Cooper boys certainly know how to produce beautiful children.” Amy had joined us with Bella in her arms. “Hi Maisie, it’s been a long time.”
Maisie nodded and went to move closer to Amy, but I kept a firm grip on her hand.
“It has. Lovely to see you and who is this little beauty?” she asked, using her free hand to tickle Bella under the chin.
“This is Bella. Say hello, Bella.”
Bella leaned forward and squeezing Maisie’s face between her tiny hands, kissed her smack on the lips. We all started to laugh and Bella tilted her head to one side, enjoying the attention.
“I Bella,” she said. “You come play with my Barbie with me?”
“Well of course I will,” Maisie responded. “And which Barbie do you have?”
“Which doesn’t she have?” Elijah groaned.
“Dadda no be naughty,” my cute, two year old niece shouted, glaring at Elijah.
Elijah like the sap he was for his little princess, simply laughed and rolled his eyes. “I’m so totally whipped,” he muttered. “I have no damn balls left.”
We all laughed, except for Bella who had no clue what was so funny.
“Come on in, all of you,” Mum said above our laughter, finally letting go of Frankie. “Lunch is almost ready.”
As everyone filed in, I tugged on Maisie’s hand.
“You okay?”
She nodded. “Yes, I’m so happy for him.”
Then she smiled at me and all I wanted to do was apologise once again.
Finally, with lunch finished and Frankie having polished off two helpings of apple pie, I was sitting on the patio with my dad and Elijah, watching as Bella and Frankie chased each other around the garden.
“He’s so like you were as a kid,” Dad said, turning to me with a wistful look in his eyes. “He even walks like you.”
“I know,” Elijah added. “How the hell people haven’t noticed is beyond me.”
I shrugged. “We’ve never been seen together until recently. It wasn’t as though Maisie and I were a thing for long and people we know would put two and two together if they saw her with him.”
Dad stared out over at his grandchildren and I knew he was thinking about all the time that had been wasted, something else I felt guilty about. I’d never considered how everything had affected my parents, yet it obviously had because they’d both spent most of lunch staring at Frankie and getting emotional.
Suddenly Bella screamed making Elijah shoot up from his chair, but the air was quickly filled with laughter.
“She okay, buddy?” I called to Frankie.
He nodded. “Yeah, a ladybird landed on her arm.”
“It tickle,” Bella shouted, holding her arm out in front of her.
“Count the spots,” Frankie said, crouching down to Bella’s height. “Then you’ll know how old she is.”
As Frankie helped Bella to count the spots, Elijah bent to pick up his beer bottle. “I’d better take her to the toilet,” he sighed. “She forgets when she’s having fun that she needs to go.”
Dad chuckled. “I seem to remember you being like that, whereas Sam, he went every five minutes. He was obsessed with it.”
“I remember that,” I replied, grinning with my eyes still on Frankie and Bella. “In the end Mum kept me in just my undies when we were at home, because I kept complaining about having to pull my trousers down all the time.”
“Oh yes.” Dad smiled. “You decided to call yourself Tarzan and wouldn’t answer to anything else for about a week.”
“God, you always were a dick.”
Elijah jumped out of the way as I threw a fist out to punch him in the leg.
“Pussy,” I grumbled but he just winked at me.
“Bella, come on toilet time.” Elijah’s voice boomed across the garden to the kids who were now near the fence at the bottom, studying something in the flower bed.
Bella ignored him, but when Frankie said something in her ear, she turned and ran back up the garden, with my boy chasing after her. When Bella ran into Elijah’s waiting arms, Frankie ran to me and flung himself onto my knee and I’d swear my fucking heart swelled to twice its normal size.
“Dad can I stay with Aunty Amy and Uncle Elijah one night?” he asked. “Uncle Elijah said I could watch his DVDs of Only Fools.”
My eyes immediately went to my brother and watched as he stopped walking and stared down at Frankie. Elijah blew out a shaky breath and smiled at him.
“Anytime you want to Frankie,” he replied and rubbed a loving hand over Frankie’s hair.
“You need to ask your mum first,” I added, wrapping my arms around him wishing for the time when I didn’t need to say that. When I could confidently tell him what he could or couldn’t do. When I could act like his dad without second guessing myself.
“I’ll ask her now,” Frankie cried enthusiastically.
I laughed and let him go, expecting him to immediately run to Maisie, but he planted a kiss on my cheek and squeezed me tightly. “See you later.”
He jumped down and ran into the house, shouting for his mum with each step.
“Woah,” Elijah said. “I never expected that, to be called Uncle Elijah straight away. He didn’t really call me anything at lunch.”
He stared after Frankie, his smile wide and gleaming.
“He’s certainly settled in well,” Dad said proudly. “You’ve done a good thing son.”
“What abandoning my son for eight years.”
Bella squirmed in Elijah’s arms. “Down Dadda, down.”
“Nope, toilet time.” As Elijah passed me he put a hand on my shoulder. “Don’t beat yourself up too much bro. You fixed it, that’s the main thing.”
As soon as the patio door closed behind Elijah and Bella, Dad leaned forward and laid his hand where Elijah’s had been.
“He’s right, you’ve fixed it now so stop thinking about what you should have done. The past can’t be changed, so don’t waste your energy on it.”
“I let him down, Dad. I let them both down. Fuck, I let all of you down.”
Dad ran a hand over his short cropped hair that was mostly the exact same colour as mine and Elijah’s, and his kind eyes glowed with emotion.
“I’m not going to lie and say you did the right thing,” he replied. “And I’ll admit, me and your mum were hurt that we’d missed out on our grandson, but you’ve got the time now to make it up to him. To him and Maisie, because I’m guessing by the way you look at her that she means something to you as well.”
As he studied me, I shifted in my seat wondering whether I should say the words and possibly build him up for more disappointment. He and Mum seemed to like her, but what if I cocked things up or she really didn’t want me in that way, I’d be letting them down again.
“Sam, son, it’s how you feel, not us,” he said.
I should never have been shocked by his ability to know what I was thinking, but I always was.
“I really care about her Dad, but I was such a prick when Frankie was born, I’m not sure I deserve her even considering having a relationship with me, never mind agreeing to one.”
“So you have asked her?”
I nodded. “I’ve told her that I want to, but she doesn’t trust me and I don’t blame her.”
“She knows deep down you’re a good man, son, she probably just doesn’t want to believe it at the moment.”
“What do I do?”
Dad smiled and sat back in his chair. “You show her and prove to her that you’re who you say you are. That you want to be there for Frankie and for her. You do know though, don’t you, that you won’t get more than one shot at this? You stuff up and that’ll be it.”
“I do.” I nodded. “Maisie said as much.”
“That’s because she’s a good mum,” he replied with a smile. “I couldn’t ask for anyone better for my grandson, or my son for that matter.”
“Except for Amy maybe.” I laughed because we all knew of every
one, she was my dad’s favourite.
He raised a brow. “She wasn’t always in my good books, you know that. The main thing is she realised she was wrong and that Elijah loved her, and I’m sure Maisie will too.”
“Love,” I scoffed. “I’m not sure she’d say that.”
“Why not, you love her don’t you?”
My heart beat thundered in my ears as I thought about what he’d said. Love was a strong word and a powerful feeling and I wasn’t sure I’d ever truly felt it. Looking back Ali had actually been an infatuation. I loved my family and Frankie, but was I in love with Maisie – I wasn’t sure I was worthy of feeling such an emotion about her.
“I…um…I don’t know about that.”
He waved a dismissive hand at me. “Of course you do you big idiot. Your head just needs time to catch up with your heart.”
“Shit, Dad, when did you get so profound?” I asked around a nervous laugh.
“When I became a father. The same will happen to you too.”
I looked at him carefully, noticing the wrinkles at his eyes and the greying hair at his temples and it struck me how I barely ever told him I loved him. He was a quiet man who stood by my mum whatever crusade she was on. He’d provided for us all our lives, never once complaining that he was tired or that we were a burden to him and when we’d grown into men he’d always shown us respect, and I had never known him to ask for anything from any of us in return.
“I love you Dad.” I got up out of my chair and went to him, leaned down and kissed the top of his head. “Thank you for everything and if I’m half the father you are, I’ll be doing a great job.”
He looked up at me with emotion swimming in his eyes and smiled. “I think you’re already doing that son. That boy already adores you and that’s not because you’re his dad, but because you’re a great man.”
Dad stood, kissed my forehead and then left me to my own thoughts and because of him, I was more determined than ever that I was going to do everything I could to make a family as great as the one that James Cooper had.
Maisie
the present
“Do your parents know about Sam?” Yvetta, Sam’s mum asked as we sat at the dining room table with Amy, the three of us drinking wine.
“Yes, they do. They were a little cautious about him at first, but the fact that Frankie never stops talking about him has gone a long way to making them feel better about it.”
“Have they met him yet?” Amy paused from topping my wine up, waiting for my answer.
“They have, but not exactly in a nice relaxed situation. It was kind of a fraught situation with my ex.”
Yvetta frowned at me, but I waved her away as Sam and I had agreed today wasn’t the right time to mention Josh taking Frankie. That could wait for another day.
“It was nothing, but Sam still has to meet my sister and I think Dad and Mum would like a chance to talk to him properly, so I’m sure we’ll be going to their house in the near future.”
“So he still has to enter the Lion’s den, so to speak.”
Yvetta joked, but I could see the worry lines etching her face. Sam was her son, so I totally understood her concern.
“They’ll be fine,” I replied.
“I wouldn’t blame them if they weren’t. He’s my son and I love him, but he was wrong in what he did to you and Frankie. They’ve every right to be angry with him.”
“He’s changed, Yvetta,” Amy said, moving to fill up her mother-in-law’s glass. “It’s taken a while admittedly, but he’s realised he did wrong.”
“It’s just not like him, Amy. He’s normally so responsible.” Yvetta sighed.
“The main thing is, he’s in Frankie’s life now, isn’t that right Maisie?”
Amy gave me a sideways glance and I wondered if she knew about Sam’s swimming coach and what had happened.
“Yes,” I replied. “As long as he does right by Frankie that’s all I can ask of him. He never lied to me when we were younger, I knew he didn’t want to be a dad, but he always provided for him.”
“He did?”
Yvetta’s face broke into a smile, glad that her son had redeemed himself in some way at least.
“Yes, without fail, and when my ex-partner decided he didn’t want the money and that he could provide for Frankie, Sam carried on putting the money into an account for him. He actually gave me a pretty big check last week.”
Yvetta’s eyes widened. “Really?”
“Yes, huge in fact.”
She raised her glass to me and smiled. “And nothing that you don’t deserve. You’ve done a brilliant job with my grandson, Maisie. He’s a wonderful boy and I can’t thank you enough for giving my son another chance.”
The way she looked at me, with emotion in her eyes, I knew she was thinking things that weren’t actually happening and I didn’t want her to get her hopes up.
“No, Yvetta, this is all about Frankie and Sam. I’m just happy Frankie finally has his dad around.”
Yvetta gave me a knowing smile which made me frown.
“Has Sam said something?”
Amy spluttered and almost spat out her wine. “As if he needs to say anything,” she said, wiping the wetness from her chin. “You’ve only got to see the way he looks at you to know he cares about you – a lot.”
I shook my head. “No, it’s not like that. It really isn’t.”
“I think Amy is right,” Yvetta sighed. “I think he most definitely has feelings for you, and they’re probably deeper than you think.”
My stomach flipped at the thought of me and Sam, and of us becoming more than two people who’d had sex a couple of times. Of course I liked him, he was sexy, good looking, had an amazing body, and his tattoos just added to the plethora of good things I could say about him, but despite the fact that I’d accepted him not wanting to be involved in Frankie’s life, my heart still hurt on behalf of my baby boy. Frankie had my dad, but he’d craved a father figure and unfortunately Josh hadn’t been the man to give that to him. I had to hope Sam stepped up now and gave Frankie everything he needed, but as for me, well I had to trust him with Frankie’s heart before I could trust him with mine.
“We’re just friends, Yvetta.”
Amy snorted and Yvetta slapped at her arm.
“Stop teasing her and stop snorting, you sound like a pig.”
“Sorry,” Amy laughed. “But if she thinks they’re just friends then I’m standing for Prime Minister in the next General Election.”
“Well you couldn’t do much worse love.” Yvetta grinned and then took my hand and squeezed it. “You take things at your pace, sweetheart, but remember this conversation when you realise you and Sam are meant to be together.”
I shook my head wondering how on earth she’d come to that conclusion after just one meeting – but then I noticed it was our second bottle of wine and realised that alcohol probably had a lot to do with it.
We continued chatting for a few more minutes until Yvetta told us she needed to make a call about a march she was due to go on in a few days, leaving Amy and I at the table. As soon as she’d disappeared from the room, Amy pulled her chair closer to mine.
“So,” she whispered. “You can tell me now what’s really going on with you and Sam.”
“Nothing,” I replied, shaking my head. “Honestly.”
“Ooh you little liar. I know for a fact that something has happened.”
“How? Has he said something?” I flopped back in my chair, throwing a glance toward the patio on the other side of the doors, where Sam, his dad, and Elijah were sitting.
Amy began to laugh. “No, but you just have.”
“No I didn’t.” I could tell my face was red because of the heat blazing from my cheeks.
“Oh you did,” she said swigging back some more wine. “You’re a rubbish liar.”
I opened my mouth to deny it, but her grin told me she wouldn’t believe me if I did.
“We had sex,” I whispered. “Twice.�
��
Amy slapped the table. “I knew it. He’s been acting strange all week.”
“Strange? In what way?”
“Oh you know, like a man who had great sex and wants more but isn’t getting any; all mean and moody. It was great I presume?” she asked, her brows arching.
For a few seconds I thought about abstaining from answering, but the thing was I actually wanted to talk about it. I didn’t really have anyone to discuss the mind blowing sex with. My sister was too caught up in her own life to have time to listen to me, and Angie and I didn’t really have that sort of relationship – it was purely employer and employee. As for my mum, well that conversation definitely wasn’t happening.
“It was awesome,” I rushed out. “He was awesome.”
Heat flooded my veins as I thought back to that night and how Sam had almost made me see stars with the orgasms that he’d given me. The first time had been hard and fast, making me scream, but the second time when I’d woken up sleepy and horny, it had been soft, slow and so, so good with me on top. I’d taken it for what it was though; sex between two people who just wanted comfort from each other, but it had still been better than I’d ever had before, including my night with Sam all those years before.
“If it runs in the family then I’m pretty sure I know how good it was,” Amy giggled. “And not that I really want to discuss my brother-in-law’s prowess in too much depth, but is it something you’d want to repeat?”
I dropped my head to the table and groaned.
“Well?”
I squinted up at her. “Yes, but I’m scared,” I replied, sitting back upright.
“What of? He didn’t hurt you, did he?”
“God, no.” I huffed out a breath. “I’m just scared that if I let myself trust him and start something with him, we won’t work and then I’ll have to tell Frankie. Can you imagine how he’d feel, thinking he was finally getting a mum and a dad who were actually together, and then being told it’s back to being just me and him, maybe with Sam at weekends; if he’d even stick around.”
Amy’s eyes narrowed. “He wouldn’t do that to Frankie, not again. We can all see how hard he’s trying and how much he wants to be Frankie’s dad.”