Be Prepared

by Gary Greenberg

  Baby Animals: On the Farm

  Babies also respond to Barney, though many dads don’t have the stomach for it.

  GREAT OUTINGS 7-9 Months

  Your whippersnapper is becoming highly social, and wants to be included in your interactions with others. She’s also entering the perpetual motion stage. Good outings for babies at this stage include:

  Race Track

  A stimulating trip for both dad and baby. You can cheer your picks, visit the horses in the paddock, and rip up your tickets and have the baby help you throw them in the air. It’s best to go on an off day, so you can get a good view of the action without having to fight the crowds. But remember: Just because your baby likes the race track doesn’t mean she’ll like OTB.

  Bookstore

  A bookstore is a great place for babies because it’s just like a library but you don’t have to be quiet. Most are carpeted, so beginning crawlers can scoot through the aisles. And they have books, too.

  Car Wash

  The rushing water and spinning brushes of the car wash can provide a great sensory experience for babies. Before you enter, give her cues that this is going to be a safe, fun experience for the both of you. Say, “Look—the car is taking a bath!”

  Laundromat

  Even if you have a washing machine at home, bring a load down to the local Laundromat just so you and the baby can sit and watch your clothes dance through that little window. You can also play with her on top of the folding tables, talk to your fellow launderers, and put the baby in the laundry cart, hang a sheet from the hook at the top, and pretend she’s sailing the seven seas (while holding on to her of course).

  Dog Run

  Although it might not be a good idea to go inside the dog run, watching from right outside the fence will usually engage your baby. Some dog runs have special areas for small dogs, where you can safely enter and watch all of the pint-size action up close.

  SKILL BUILDERS 7-9 Months

  Three-Cup Monte

  This is a baby-friendly version of the old street scam. Start off with three large cups and a ball or small stuffed animal. You’re the “tosser” and the baby is your “mark.” Lift all of the cups so she can see where the object is, and then lower them all. If she chooses the right cup, she wins. And when she starts becoming consistent, slowly jockey the cups around.

  Builds visual memory, problem-solving skills, and helps develop the concept of object permanence—the fact that objects exist even though she can’t see them.

  The Culinary Arts

  Encourage your baby’s burgeoning artistic skills and introduce her to new foods at the same time. Fill several plastic containers with baby foods of different colors. Put them in front of the baby and have her fingerpaint the tray of her high chair or the kitchen table. Some good baby foods to use are apples, prunes, green beans, and, for texture, vegetable rice pilaf. She can create an abstract masterpiece and safely eat the results. (You can also use four bowls of mashed potatoes and some vegetable food coloring.)

  This activity is best done right before bath time.

  Builds creativity, fine motor skills, and hand-eye coordination.

  The Basket Train

  Sit the baby in a laundry basket with a blanket or pillow against her back. Fill the rest of the basket with stuffed animals and toys, and push it around the house, simulating train noises. At various points along the way, announce stops where you drop off and pick up creatures. Eventually the baby will anticipate each stop where she can throw some animals out and invite some into her train. This game takes no small degree of exertion on your part, but the baby’s excitement will hopefully energize you.

  To save on back strain, you can attach a dog leash to the basket and slowly pull her around.

  Builds sequential thinking and role-playing skills.

  Babies and LANGUAGE

  No need to order a paternity test. Your baby may call all men “dada” for a while.

  You may have noticed that your baby seems more interested in what you have to say these days. A couple of months ago, your explanation of the infield fly rule would have been met with a blank stare. But now the thick fog behind her eyes is starting to disappear, giving way to a wonderfully perplexed expression. She’s attempting to unravel the mysteries of language, and you are lucky enough to be able to shepherd her through this amazing and often hilarious journey.

  On average, babies say their first words somewhere between 7 and 11 months. Your imp has probably started babbling, and may have even said “dada,” much to your partner’s chagrin. Don’t tell your partner this, but “dada” is one of the most common babbling syllable combos, and is just as likely to be directed at the family dog as your face. In order for it to be considered a true first word, it needs to be said in context three times. So unless she’s said “dada” three times while looking at you or your picture, it’s not official. And don’t be alarmed if she soon starts to refer to all men as “dada.” Babies learn in categories.

  Babies can understand language much earlier than they’ll be able to speak it effectively. Part of this is because their speech apparatus have just begun to develop, and won’t be similar to an adult’s until they reach six years old.

  You can help your baby to speak and understand language by practicing the following:

  Spark Dialogue

  When you hear your baby babbling, join in as if you knew what she was talking about. After she finishes a spurt of random syllables, say, “Yeeees, that’s true, but how will that affect the overseas markets?” And then wait for a response. Pretty soon she’ll start to figure out the back and forth nature of true conversation. Remember to always praise her utterances, no matter how economically unsound.

  Label Everything

  As an everyday ritual, walk around the house with the baby, naming everything as you go. You can use it as a passive-aggressive exercise. “See? This is a guitar, Guitar. Daddy used to play this guitar every day, before you came along. And these are Rollerblades. Rol-ler-blades. Daddy used to Rollerblade all over town, before you came along.” As long as you keep smiling, baby will be none the wiser.

  When labeling, try not to be too general or specific. A guitar is a guitar, not an instrument (too general) or a Fender Strat-o-Caster (too specific).

  Rhyme It

  Research has shown that simple rhythm and rhyme is one of the best ways for children to learn language. Try reciting some Mother Goose standards, emphasizing and elongating the rhyming words. When you get bored, sing your favorite songs a cappella or create impromptu poems and limericks. But resist any references to “The Man from Nantucket,” because you never know when they’ll start repeating things.

  Applaud All Sounds

  When the baby points to the dog and says “dada,” act very excited. She’s starting to pair words with objects, and needs to be encouraged. Say, “Yes, that’s a doggie! Doggie. Great job!” (Putting an -ie on the end of words supposedly makes it easier for babies to distinguish them.)

  Chew on Some Books

  Interactive books—lift-the-flap books, books with zippers and buttons, touch-and-feel books—not only build her vocabulary, but also help with hand-eye coordination and fine motor skills.

  And remember, there’s no wrong way to read with a baby. As long as she is enjoying herself, it doesn’t matter if she wants to read the same book over and over, flip each page back and forth a hundred times, or chew on one book as you’re reading another. Just relax and take comfort in the fact that she’s getting an early taste for literature.

  * * *

  Here’s a surefire way to spark your baby’s book-loving instincts. Take one of your copies of Goodnight Moon (you’ll no doubt be receiving three or four), cut out pictures of various family members, and tape them into the book. Then alter the words appropriately. “Goodnight house, and goodnight mouse, and goodnight Papa Neil, and goodnight Grandpa George.”

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  The Secret Meaning of PEEK-A-BOO

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bsp; Your baby’s mind works in strange and screwy ways. Would you believe that whenever you step out of her field of vision, she thinks that you no longer exist? It’s true. And for some reason, she isn’t bothered by this. She just goes on playing or staring into space until you miraculously reappear. Every toy she drops, every pacifier she throws, every person who wanders out of view, ceases to exist as far as she is concerned.

  Over the next few months the concept of object permanence, the idea that something exists even though she can’t see it, will slowly start to take hold. Dads can help solidify this skill by:

  playing peek-a-boo,

  hiding a toy under a napkin and letting her unveil it,

  showing her the object she just dropped on the ground before picking it up.

  Keep in mind that now that she’s beginning to understand that you are always somewhere, and that you can always be reached, she’ll start to become anxious the minute you leave the room.

  When you play peek-a-boo with babies, they think that your head literally disappears and then suddenly reappears when you open your hands. No wonder they are so impressed.

  Dealing with Baby Anxiety

  Why shouldn’t your baby have anxiety just like the rest of us? With the onset of object permanence comes separation anxiety, the fear of separation from you or your partner, no matter who you leave the baby with, and stranger anxiety, a fear of strangers, and by “strangers” we mean everyone besides you and your partner.

  Some ways to deal with an anxious baby:

  Have visitors, including close relatives, approach the baby slowly, quietly, and with no sudden movements, the way you would advance toward a live grenade or homicidal maniac.

  If you are starting in a new babysitter or day care situation, stay with the baby for at least the first couple of visits, and let her see you hanging out with the caretakers.

  Babies, like dogs, have no sense of time. For your first couple of outings, come back after fifteen or twenty minutes, just to let her know that you’re not fleeing the country.

  Never sneak out on your baby. You’ll just reinforce the anxiety. Instead, look her in the eye, smile, and act as if it’s no big deal. And NEVER go back in after you’ve left. Call home on your cell phone ten minutes later to make sure she stopped crying.

  Believe it or not, the development of separation and stranger anxiety is a good thing. It means that you have done your job as a dad. Your baby turns to you for safety and protection.

  THE BIG BATH

  As soon as your baby has trouble fitting in her infant tub, it’s time to upgrade her to the ultra-roomy adult bathtub. Though she may resist the change to the big tub, you can help her adjust. Try putting her into the tub with no water for the first couple of outings. Climb in with a bunch of toys and show her a good time.

  Once she gets comfortable in the tub, chances are she won’t want to leave. The prepared dad can use this to his advantage. The tub is an optimal place to feed her, give her medicine, and cut her nails. Pretty much anything you can do on dry land you can do in the tub, with better slop control.

  Prepping for the Big Bath

  Install a bath mat to prevent slippage.

  Buy or create a spout cover, so the baby won’t whack her head on the edge of the spout. You can make a temporary one with duct tape and a sponge.

  Fill up the tub with three to four inches of water. Remember, babies like baths almost as warm as adults do. Use the elbow test to make sure the temperature’s right.

  Have all of your supplies at hand, including a large plastic cup, baby soap and shampoo, a washcloth, and a towel.

  Jumping In

  There’s no better time to play with baby than when taking a bath together. Why sit hunched over the tub holding her when there’s fun to be had right inside? Not only will she be enthralled by your demonstration of fluid dynamics, but she’ll feel more comfortable and secure with you in the tub.

  Before you get your feet wet, be sure that you’re prepared for:

  Getting the baby into and out of the tub. The safest way to do this is to put her on a towel on top of a curved changing pad on the floor, get in the tub by yourself, sit down, and then bring her in with you. When getting out, put the baby back on the changing pad, get out by yourself, and then pick her up.

  The mid-bath movement. Your baby is likely to drop a load in the bathtub at some point. In anticipation of this event, it’s a good idea to have a second large cup on hand to scoop up the scat as quickly as possible so you won’t have to empty the tub and start over. If you can catch it before it hits the water, that’s worth 10 points.

  You’ll know she’s ready to launch when her body suddenly tenses up, her face turns red, and she grimaces.

  If you catch it in mid-air, it’s worth 10 points.

  Rinsing out the hair. To avoid getting soap in your baby’s eyes when you rinse her hair, stick a suction cup toy to your forehead. While the baby tilts her head back to look at the odd spectacle, rinse her hair. If your forehead won’t hold a suction cup, putting a toy in your mouth and grunting may achieve similar results.

  You can also try sticking a large mobile or some large plastic-coated pictures on the ceiling over the tub, then telling her to look up right before you rinse.

  Another idea: If your baby has a high tolerance for head gear, you can buy a bath visor made specifically for this purpose.

  For the Landlubbers

  If you’d prefer to stay dry during the bath-time routine, you’ll be needing some support keeping the baby upright. There are special apparatus created for this very purpose, and others that you can modify to suit this aim. (But remember, you still can never leave the baby in the bath unattended.)

  A bath seat can hold the baby upright in place.

  Inflatable tub. It’s a small tub that fits inside of your bathtub. It supports the baby’s back, and requires less water than the big tub. Also, bath toys stay within reach.

  Bath seat. Held into place with suction cups, bath seats help keep the baby upright while providing you access to wash her body.

  Laundry basket. You can bathe your baby in a short plastic laundry basket with a washcloth in the bottom. The basket supports the baby’s back, and water flows freely through the holes. The toys stay within reach, and when you are finished with the bath, just drain the tub and store the toys in the basket.

  Tub Toys

  The resourceful dad needn’t go out and buy toys for the bath. Anything in your house that floats (or sinks, for that matter) is a potential tub toy. Some suggestions are as follows:

  FIRST Haircut

  The only real reason to give a baby a haircut during the first year is maintenance—either the bangs are interfering with her vision or the back is growing long enough to be mistaken for a mullet. In either case, action must be taken.

  Your partner may suggest one of the many child-friendly styling salons—something with a name like ShortCutz, Clips ’n’ Giggles, or Hairy Potter’s. But if you want to save some time and money and possibly alleviate a crying fit, you can do it yourself.

  If you are at all apprehensive at the prospect of cutting a baby’s hair, realize that no matter how badly you botch the job (short of drawing blood), your baby will still look cute.

  Cutting the Back

  Place your awake baby in her high chair in front of the TV. (If you don’t let the baby watch TV, your partner will have to do a puppet show.) Stand behind the baby, and using your rounded scissors, cut from the center out in both directions. Cut small amounts at a time so you can easily cover up errors.

  Cutting the Bangs

  Because babies will often flail their arms and whip their heads around to get away from a scissors approaching their faces (a very good instinct in most situations), it’s best to cut a baby’s bangs when she is sound asleep, preferably sitting up in the stroller or car seat so you can get a good angle. Make sure to use the scissors with the rounded edges, and always have your fingers in between the scissors and the ba
by’s head (see below).

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  NAIL CARE

  Because of the surgical precision involved, many dads get unwillingly recruited into nail duty. Your partner may figure, “If you can bait a hook, you can cut a fingernail.”

  If your baby’s a heavy sleeper, you can do it then. Otherwise, you’ll either need an assistant to hold her hand still or a very engaging distraction, such as a favorite video, to keep her busy. Some dads do it right after a bath, when the nails are especially pliable.

  When cutting, you can use either a pair of baby nail scissors with the rounded tips, or blunt-edged nose-hair scissors, which some dads say are even easier to maneuver. And don’t worry if you draw a little bit of blood. It happens to almost everybody, especially the first few times out. To minimize the chance of catching skin, press the fleshy part of the finger down as you cut.

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  10-12 MONTHS