by Vivi Holt
Jax laughed, reached for his sweet tea and took a sip. “Not my type.”
“Not your type? She’s beautiful – what more do you need?”
Jax rolled his eyes. “You know me well enough not to ask that.”
“True. You want someone sweet, sincere, caring and probably bakes pies for church fundraisers.” Brad’s voice dripped with cynicism
Jax took a deep breath. “When did you get so jaded?”
“Sorry.” Brad shook his head. “I guess I’m just sick of hearing from Stacey about her ideal man. He has to share her faith, not drink every night, good job, kind, gentle, yada yada yada – a list of requirements as long as her arm. I keep telling her she’ll need to lose some of those restrictions if she ever wants to meet someone real. But it’s like with Duke – either perfection or nothing for her.”
Jax considered his words. Stacey hadn’t attended church when they were teenagers. It surprised him to think of her as a woman of faith with a long list of things she was looking for in a man. He never wanted to settle, either – not in football or in love. “Sounds like you’re bitter at the church about something.”
His friend didn’t reply, instead he turned away. Jax wouldn’t push it. If Brad wanted to talk, he’d open up when he was ready.
Jax finished his drink and suggested they head home. He was driving, so he took Brad back to his place first. He pulled up to the curb in front of the apartment building and rested his hands on the steering wheel. Brad hadn’t said a word the entire ride home. “I’m sorry if I upset you.”
“No, you’re right. I am bitter at the church, I guess.”
Jax waited quietly for Brad to continue. Sometimes people just needed space to share what was burning a hole deep down inside.
“I know it’s not fair, but I blame the church for Dad. The way he was with us and how everything fell apart after he died. He used to tell people he was a Christian, but we never saw any evidence of it. Not that I know much about faith besides what Stacey’s told me over the past couple of years. But whenever he beat Mom or lashed out at us, then left and didn’t come back for days, I guess I held it against the church. Or against God. Not sure which.”
Jax nodded. “I can understand that.”
“I mean, the man barely set foot in a church building my entire life, but he told people he loved God, then never showed us even an ounce of love …” Brad covered his face with his hands, then shook his head. “I know – not your fault, not God’s fault, not the church’s. But people believed what Dad told them. They thought he was a good man, a believer just like them. And …” He threw up his hands.
“I’m sorry, man.”
Brad met his gaze, his eyes full of pain. “Thanks. Sorry I cut the evening short. We don’t get to see each other much these days.”
“Forget it. We’ll catch up more up at the cabin. Are you and Stacey still coming?”
Brad’s frown dissolved into a smile. “I can’t wait. We haven’t been to that place for years – good memories.”
“I wasn’t sure if we should go at all, but when I mentioned it to Mom, she insisted I go and take June with me. She said she could do with some alone time.
Brad nodded. “That makes sense. I guess we won’t be swimming at this time of year, but maybe we can do some hiking.”
“You can swim if you want, but I won’t be joining you.”
Brad laughed. “If I remember rightly there were a few times when you didn’t get a choice in the matter.”
Jax recalled an image of him standing on the dock and being pushed from behind.
“Yeah, well, if I go in this time, you won’t be far behind me – I can promise you that. You used to be bigger and heavier than me, but I beat you on both counts these days.”
Brad’s eyebrows rose high over sparkling eyes. “That is true. I guess I’d better behave myself. Hey, I’ve got a casserole dish for you to take back home with you. I know you guys were flooded with meals, but please thank your mom for sharing – it was delicious. And any day I don’t have to cook for myself or eat out is a good day.” He chuckled.
“I’ll tell her.”
“Just give me a minute and I’ll bring it down for you.”
“Never mind, I’ll come get it. I need the exercise. I’ve started running again every morning, but Coach is going to kick my rear when I get back to training.” Jax jumped out of the car and shut the door behind him. His breath fogged the air in front of him and he breathed into his hands to warm them.
Upstairs the apartment was dark. Brad flicked on a light, revealing a huddled figure lying on the couch, a blanket tucked up beneath her chin. Stacey. Jax’s breath caught in his throat. She looked so peaceful there, her hair fanned out around her, dark curls stark against the gray fabric. She was beautiful, vulnerable, even happy, smiling slightly in her sleep.
“Whoops, sorry.” Brad turned the light back off again and padded through the darkness to the kitchen. “I forgot she was there. We’ll have to leave the light off – she’s a bear if you wake her.”
Jax found himself wishing he could watch her some more, but pushed the thought from his mind. There was no way he could act on that impulse. She was Brad’s sister, completely off limits. He couldn’t risk their friendship – Brad was one of the few people left in his life who’d cared about him before he became famous. He knew he could trust Brad, something he couldn’t say about many other people in his life.
He took the casserole dish, waved a silent goodbye, then let himself out and jogged back to his car in the cool night air. It wouldn’t be long before he was no longer officially Stacey’s client. But even when the house sale went through, she’d still be Brad’s baby sister. And that was one line a friend didn’t cross.
7
Stacey grunted as she put the bag of groceries into the trunk of her car, then swiped a strand of hair from her face that had been annoying her the entire trip from the store. She sighed and turned as Brad, June and Jax arrived, each holding more bags. “It looks like we’re going to the cabin for two weeks with all this food,” she laughed.
Jax grinned. “If only.”
“Don’t you worry, little sister – Jax and I eat a lot more than you realize. We don’t want to starve out there in the woods, do we?” Brad set his bag in the trunk, then punched her in the shoulder just hard enough to put her off-balance.
She frowned and rubbed her shoulder. “Do you ever wonder if we spend too much time together these days? I mean we work together, live together, and now we’re going away for the weekend together.”
“Yeah, it’s a bit much, Stacey. I’ve been meaning to talk to you about it – I need some space … ow!” He rubbed his arm where she’d hit him back. “So violent today.”
“No more than you.” She rolled her eyes and grinned at him. As much as she made fun, she loved that they had a good relationship now. When they were kids, he never seemed to be around – usually off with his friends and almost always avoiding their parents. Now he was really stepping up to help her – giving her a job and a place to stay. Her throat tightened as she climbed into the car. He was a good brother.
Brad was driving and June tended to get carsick, so Jax and Stacey took the back seat. Stacey fastened her seat belt and felt the familiar buzz of adrenaline as Jax climbed in beside her. He took up most of the space and his long legs stuck out on either side of him, unable to fit otherwise. He glanced at her and smiled. “So where were we?”
She grinned. “It’s my turn to ask the questions.” They’d started playing Twenty Questions on the trip to the Kroger, with a twist – the questions weren’t limited to twenty. “Are you a plant?”
He shook his head.
“An animal?”
A nod.
“A human?”
Another nod. Fifteen minutes later, she guessed he was Albert Einstein and it was his turn again.
They passed the time until Brad pulled onto the long drive that wound through the thick woods at the base of th
e Smoky Mountains. The cabin nestled beside the banks of a small clear lake, with a weathered dock that jutted into it. Stacey climbed out of the car and stretched her arms over her head. It had been a long drive, about four hours, and she felt tired and cramped. She yawned, filling her lungs with fresh, crisp mountain air. It had been so long since she’d gotten out of Ardensville, even longer since she’d visited the mountains.
“Do you think we have time for a hike before dark?” June asked.
Brad slung a backpack over each shoulder, then shrugged. “I guess.”
“I think I need to stretch my legs.” Jax grabbed two bags of groceries and headed for the cabin.
“Hold on, I’ll unlock it,” called June, hurrying after him.
Stacey followed, her own arms laden with groceries. Inside, the cabin smelled musty, so after she set the bags on the kitchen counter, she started opening windows. June disappeared into a bedroom while Brad stood in the center of the living room, the luggage at his feet and his hands on his hips.
June entered the kitchen, Jax on her heels. “Let’s get unpacked and do some tidying up in here, then we can all go for a walk around the lake,” she suggested.
“Sounds good to me,” replied Stacey. She put groceries in the cabinets and cleaned the kitchen while the others dusted furniture and made up beds. Once they were done, all four of them headed outside and down a narrow trail that wound around the lake. The route was familiar and her spine relaxed, giving her a feeling of light-hearted well-being.
It was good to be back at the cabin, to be reminded of carefree times during her youth. It had been somewhere she and Brad could escape the storm of their home life. At first they’d come with the entire Green family, but once Jax had his license his parents had helped him save for a car, and he’d driven them up there during every school break.
Each time they’d visited the cabin together, her feelings for Jax grew. He was always kind, thoughtful, fun and undeniably cute. But he’d never seen her that way. She’d spent her time with June, swimming, fishing, hiking and reading, and he’d disappeared with Brad. The boys rarely returned before dark, when he’d offer her a smile and a sentence or two, nothing more.
Though why would he? He was the football star, the boy every girl in school had a life-threatening crush on. She was just one of many. There was nothing about her that stood out, unless of course you counted her pale skin or the freckles that looked like they were conducting a military raid over her nose. She was grateful they’d faded. But she still felt like that gangly, awkward pre-teen girl with the unrequited crush.
As they hiked, it all came back, and her heart ached for the things she hadn’t said or done and the dreams that never came true. Perspective brought on by the rush of nostalgia was a painful reminder of who she’d hoped to be – and how much she’d fallen short of her own imaginings.
Brad took the lead, and Stacey brought up the rear. The trail was a little overgrown and Brad whacked at the foliage with a long stick as he went, clearing the path. He and Jax laughed and joked together. Stacey found herself puffing as they went up a steep embankment. She really should exercise more regularly.
“You okay back there?” called Jax. He’d stopped at a crest and looked over his shoulder at her down the embankment.
She nodded. “Fine, thanks.” A few yards ahead of her, June breathed just as hard, so she didn’t feel so bad.
It had rained recently and parts of the trail beneath the undergrowth were slick with mud. Stacey’s left foot slid backward on the steep path. She grimaced and shifted her weight to her right foot, but it too began sliding downhill. In desperation she grabbed a bush to her right to stop her fall, then pulled herself up the hill inch by inch. It seemed easier to stick to the edge of the trail where she could use the foliage for handholds. She finally got to the top and rested her hands on her knees, her breath coming in great gasps.
Jax laid a hand on her back. “You made it.”
“Yep.” She could barely breathe.
June made her way back to the group over the slippery parts of the path. “Hey, be careful of poison ivy.”
Stacey straightened in alarm. “Poison ivy?”
“Yup. There’s a whole lot of it here on the right side of the trail. See the stuff with the reddish leaves?”
Stacey’s eyes narrowed. “Oh no …”
“What’s wrong?” asked Jax.
“I think I used the poison ivy to help me climb the trail. I was pulling myself up by it.”
June’s eyes widened. June bit down on her lower lip. “Oh, Stacey, bless your heart. At least you’re wearing jeans. But your hands …”
“They’re gonna hurt,” Jax finished for her.
“Well, it doesn’t hurt yet and we’re enjoying our hike,” Stacey insisted. “We should just keep going.”
“Are you sure?” asked Jax, one eyebrow arched.
“I’m sure.” She wasn’t about to ruin everyone’s day just because she didn’t recognize poison ivy when she saw it. There was nothing she could do about it now. Besides, maybe it was some other plant that just looked like poison ivy. Either way, they’d come to the cabin to relax and get away from everything and she wasn’t going to be the killjoy of the group.
“I think we should head back so you can put some lotion on your hands,” stated June.
“Okay. I don’t want to ruin your hike, though – you keep going, I can find my way back on my own. You didn’t lock up, did you?”
June shook her head hesitantly. “It’s not locked … but I’ll walk back with you.”
“No, I’ll go,” suggested Jax. “You and Brad enjoy yourselves. You’ve been studying so hard at school, it’ll do you good to get some fresh air into your lungs.”
June smiled at him. “Fine, you take her back. But don’t eat all the Oreos.”
“Hey, where did you get the idea I’d do something like that?”
Her eyes narrowed. “Years of experience.”
He laughed. “Fair enough. I promise not to devour all of the Oreos, though the packet may be a bit lighter by the time you get back.” He called to Brad, who’d gotten ahead of the group. When Brad returned, he told him their plan, then steered Stacey back toward the cabin. The hardest part was the slope they’d just climbed, but he got her down safely enough.
She reached the bottom and stared with dismay at her dirty palms. “Ugh.”
“Don’t worry, we’ll be back at the cabin in no time and you can get cleaned up.”
“I’d love a hot shower, but I know that’s not the best thing for poison ivy.”
“True. But don’t worry – I’m sure June packed calamine lotion or Benadryl. She’s always prepared for every contingency, since she spends so much time with kids. She’ll have you covered.”
“That would be amazing. I’ll wash my hands, then we’ll see what we can find.” Stacey looked up at the sky. “I wonder if those clouds mean more rain?”
“Maybe. It’s definitely not cold enough for snow yet.”
She studied his face. He’d grown a little stubble. It was blond and barely there, but it suited him. He smiled as he met her gaze, and her cheeks flamed.
“You go ahead, I’ll follow,” he said.
She brushed a hand over her rear, and hit mud. Just great. He’d be staring at her stained rear-end the entire way back to the cabin. Oh well, she couldn’t hide it, she’d simply have to own it. She pushed out her chin, and set off down the trail.
The track they were following met up with the lake’s shore, then meandered around the side of it back to where the cabin squatted, dark and surrounded by a thick bed of dry, brown leaves with a smattering of yellow and orange. A trio of ducks flew overhead, their calls ringing out in the quiet fall air. “It’s really beautiful …”
Just as she said that, her left foot landed in a waterlogged hole and her ankle twisted. She fell forward, arms flailing, face first into an even larger puddle.
Jax rushed to her side and helped her out of t
he muck. She wiped muddy water from her eyes, and coughed as his firm grip on her elbow steadied her. She blinked, and coughed again, pain radiating through her legs and gut where they’d struck the ground.
She could tell by the way his lips were pursed that he was trying hard not to laugh. She had to admit, it must have looked funny, though she wasn’t prepared to laugh herself. Her twisted ankle ached and her knees stung. Her hands were badly grazed, and she could only imagine how bad it’d feel once the itching began.
“Are you hurt?” he asked as he helped her to a boulder at the lake’s edge. She lowered herself onto it, then examined her jeans. No rips, so probably no blood, just some bruises. Her ankle didn’t feel good, though. She gasped and let her eyes drift shut.
“What’s wrong?”
She shook her head. “I’m okay, just a bit winded.”
“Sit here a while, get your breath back. There’s no rush.”
Stacey closed her eyes and inhaled slowly. Her cheeks still burned, hotter than before. She wasn’t usually a klutz – what was going on? It was as if she couldn’t be trusted to put one foot in front of the other. All she’d wanted to do on this trip was reassure Jax she was different from the girls chasing him around town. That she was mature, sophisticated, capable of deep and meaningful discussions with him on topical subjects – basically, everything she thought he might want in a woman.
But why? She wasn’t after him, wasn’t interested in becoming his arm candy. As a grown woman, she had more serious things to think about than whether or not the football hero knew she existed. She wanted badly to put that all behind her. Shouldn’t she be past her childhood crush by now?
He hadn’t seen her then and he wouldn’t see her now, not that way. To him she’d still be Brad’s baby sister, who couldn’t walk a trail in a straight line without tripping into poison ivy, who was covered in muck from head to toe, her hair lank and wet around her neck, all the bounce of her perky curls gone. “I’m sorry. I’m not generally so uncoordinated …”