by Vivi Holt
“You don’t have to apologize. I’m just glad you’re okay. Well, at least for now – you may pay for it later.”
Stacey frowned. He was right – any pain she was experiencing in that moment would only be worse in a few hours. She sighed. Could this trip suck any harder? “I think I’m ready to head back to the cabin now.”
Jax smiled. “Okay, let’s go.”
8
Stacey really was adorable. Jax knew he shouldn’t be amused by her pain, but the way she’d fallen, then tried so hard to look as though she was perfectly fine with mud plastered all over her had him biting his lip to keep from chuckling.
Of course, it wouldn’t have been funny if she was really hurt. But she wasn’t, and something inside him wanted so badly to take her in his arms and kiss the frown off her face. She was already having a bad enough day, though – she didn’t need her brother’s friend coming onto her to top it off.
She braced herself against the rock she was seated on, stood, took a step, then stumbled. “Ouch!”
Jax caught her as she fell against his chest. “Are you all right?”
“It’s my ankle – I turned it when I fell. I don’t think I can walk on it.” Her voice was pained and her eyebrows lowered.
“I’ll carry you.”
“No, no, I can’t ask you to do that. It’s a long way back to the cabin.”
He laughed. “What’s the point of me training every single day if I can’t even carry a beautiful woman a few hundred yards?”
Her cheeks grew pinker still. He’d noticed they were varying shades of pink all afternoon. Perhaps she wasn’t feeling well – that would explain all her mishaps.
She set her foot on the ground again and hobbled forward. “Owww!”
“I’m carrying you.” Jax swung her up into his arms, one beneath her legs and the other around her shoulders. Her face hovered just beneath his. He could see clearly into her blue eyes, sparkling with … frustration? Anger? Whatever it was, she’d just have to get over it. They’d never make it back to the cabin before dark if he didn’t carry her.
“Thank you,” she mumbled.
He smiled. “You’re very welcome.”
“So are you always such a knight in shining armor?”
Her steady gaze on his face gave him a heady feeling, and he studied the trail ahead to keep from stumbling himself. “I don’t know. I’m not really a knight …”
“I think you are. I remember even in high school you always thought of other people before yourself.”
He drew a slow breath. “Thanks. I’m not sure that’s true, but thank you anyway.”
“Yes, it is. Give me one example of a time you’ve been selfish.” Her eyes glinted playfully.
His heart slammed against his ribs and his gut roiled. He was being selfish that very moment, ignoring his friend’s request to stay away from his sister, but he could hardly tell her that. “I brushed my dad off when he wanted to spend time with me last spring.”
She fell silent and looked away. He walked along the trail, his thoughts spiraling. When she finally spoke, her voice was soft. “You’re a good son.”
He shook his head. “I don’t know. I should’ve …”
“That’s just shame talking.”
He glanced at her in surprise. “You sound just like him.”
“I heard him preach it often enough.” She shrugged. “Your dad always said that if you’re putting ‘should’ in front of something, it’s just shame talking, and God doesn’t do shame.”
He tipped his head to one side, smiling against his wishes. “He did say that, didn’t he?”
She nodded. “And he’s right. You can’t change the past. You were a good son to him and he knew you loved him. If you beat yourself up over the things you didn’t do, you’re coloring history. You had a great relationship with your dad – don’t ruin it now.”
His eyes narrowed. “When did you grow up?”
She huffed. “I’ve been grown.”
She looked insulted, but he couldn’t figure why – he’d intended it as a light-hearted compliment. “I know … I mean, I can see that. I …” His face flushed.
“Do you remember me?” she asked, her gaze searching his face. “I mean, when we were kids. Do you remember me from that time?”
“Of course I do. Why would you ask that?”
She shrugged. “It just seemed like you didn’t see me back then. I was curious.”
His eyes widened. “Really? Well, you were younger and I guess I was just a boy. We’re pretty simple – we liked to play ball, ride bikes, watch TV. But yeah, I saw you. You always looked …” He cut himself off. It wasn’t kind.
“What?”
“Nothing.”
She frowned. “No, you were about to say something. Tell me what.”
“Okay …” He sighed. “You always looked sad. I knew you had some issues with your parents – I could tell when I visited that something was up. But Brad never really said much about it and I was just a dumb kid. I guess things weren’t great there.”
Her face softened. “Yeah, that’s true. I hadn’t thought of it that way, but I was sad a lot of the time. Dad died when I was thirteen and Mom drank all the time. Brad tried to be gone as much as he could, which left me to take care of things.”
His heart ached for her and all she’d been through. He’d had no idea it was so bad.
“See, that’s why you have to appreciate what you had with your dad. I know how good you had it, because I can compare it with my relationship with my father.” Her voice was almost a whisper, and she stared out across the lake as though lost in her memories.
Jax adjusted his hold on her. His shoulders had begun to ache but the cabin wasn’t far off. He was almost disappointed – their conversation had given him a lot to think about. Ever since his father died he’d carried a weight of guilt around, but Stacey’s insights had helped him to see things differently. He knew he’d had a wonderful relationship with his father – even as a teenager, there’d hardly been a cross word between them. They both enjoyed fishing, sports and old Westerns and spent a lot of quality time together. His throat tightened.
They reached the building and he set her down gently on the porch while he opened the door. She put her arm around his neck, and he helped her into the bedroom where she’d stashed her backpack earlier. “I’ll just take a shower and clean off the mud,” she told him. “Thanks so much for helping me get home.” She smiled.
His heart skipped a beat. He liked the feel of her arm around his neck, her face so close to his, her lips beckoning. He licked his own lips, then caught himself. “Right. Yes. I’ll hunt down the calamine and Benadryl, then wait for the others.” He slid out from under her arm, ran his hand through his hair, then hurried out of the room. When he returned to her room he could hear the hiss of the shower. After delivering the promised medicine he left the cabin, his thoughts in a whirl.
Clouds skidded across the sky, bringing an early evening, and the breeze off the lake carried a chill. Jax wandered around the edge of the woods around the cabin, gathering kindling and thicker sticks for the indoor fireplace. He stacked the wood by the door, then walked out onto the dock with a handful of stones he’d collected. There used to be a couple of canoes and a skiff tied to the end of the dock, but they were long gone now.
He sat at the end of the dock and let his feet dangle over the edge. The water level was lower than usual and his feet didn’t touch the water. He rested his palms on the planks beneath him and stared out over the water, enjoying the quiet solitude. He didn’t often get time alone to ponder these days. Just having these few minutes to himself was stark contrast to the busyness of his everyday life.
He picked up a stone and flung it out over the lake. It skipped twice off the surface, then disappeared beneath the water with a plop. He sighed and rubbed his eyes. He was more tired than he’d realized.
A sound behind him caught his ear and he turned to see Stacey hobbling toward him. She’d showered a
nd changed, her wet hair slicked back against her head. She’d bundled up in a puffy jacket, clean jeans and boots, a scarf around her neck and gauze around her hands. “Feel better?” he called.
She laughed. “Much. Thank you again for carrying me back – you really didn’t have to.”
“Happy to do it. I’m just glad I was there – you’d still be hobbling back otherwise.”
She sat beside him, rubbing her sore knees. “Reliving childhood memories?”
He sighed. “It doesn’t seem like so long ago, does it?”
She nodded. “Like yesterday.”
“Yeah. I just wish …” He didn’t know what he wished, really. There was no way to turn back time. He knew his dad wouldn’t want that anyway – he’d been so proud of everything Jax had achieved. He sighed. “… yeah, never mind. No one talks much about grief, do they?”
She shook her head. “But you can, if you want to. I don’t mind.”
He smiled, but his insides ached. “If I could just have some time, more than this weekend, to process everything. To grieve without all the attention, without the crowds and the media wanting to know how I’m feeling, who I’m dating … I suppose it wouldn’t make much difference, really, but it’s kind of getting to me.” He ran a hand over his eyes, then through his hair. He wasn’t usually so sentimental. She seemed to draw it out of him.
“It’s just because you’re such a hot commodity,” she teased, bumping her shoulder into his. “If you were married you wouldn’t get half as much attention.”
He considered her words. “You think so? June said something similar.”
“Sure. They’d snap a photo of you, write up an article about your family tragedy and move on. Instead, they’ve got countless pieces on who you might be dating, whether you’re single. And that’s just the media. The women who want to date you … or if they’re lucky, marry you …”
He grimaced. “That part of fame is so bizarre.”
“I’m sure it is. I’ll take your word for it.” She grinned and winked.
“You pretended you were my girlfriend once. Maybe we should just say that you and I are married.” He laughed and arched an eyebrow. “I might finally get some peace.”
“Ha! And as your wife, I could move into that beautiful new house of yours and take care of it for you. I mean, you’ll be in Atlanta – you’ll need someone to house-sit for you while you’re gone.”
Jax retrieved another stone from the pile beside him and skipped it out over the lake. “We should do it.”
She laughed. “Really?”
“Really. It could be the answer to both our problems – I can dodge all the attention, and you’d have a place to stay. And I will need someone to look after the place while I’m gone. It’s perfect, actually.”
She met his gaze, her eyes narrowed. “You’re serious? You want to pretend we’re married?”
“Just to the public. Everyone in our lives will know the truth, but we can swear them to secrecy.”
“For how long?”
“I don’t know. Long enough for me to process everything in my head. Or as long as you need somewhere to live.”
She took one of his stones and rolled it around in her hands, her brow furrowed. “I don’t know … what about our families?”
He shrugged. “We’ll tell them the truth. I’m sure they’ll understand.”
She chuckled. “You’ve obviously forgotten everything you knew about Momma.”
He smiled. “Good point. Maybe we shouldn’t tell her, but everyone else will be able to keep our secret.”
“Are you sure this is a good idea? I mean, will it really make any difference to your stalkers? It might make them angry, to have a wife all of a sudden that no one’s heard of.”
“Maybe it won’t make a difference, but I think it will. I’m willing to try, just to see. If nothing changes, we can always say we were joking.”
“Oh yeah, that’ll go over like a ton of bricks.” She shuddered to think what the media would do with a confession like that.
“It’ll be fine. And it might even be fun to fool the media. They’re always making up stories – now it’s my turn.” He grinned and his eyes sparkled.
She loved it when he smiled that way – it reminded her of the happy-go-lucky boy she’d known for years. Yeah, she could do this one thing for him, crazy as it was, and they could just forget the whole thing if it didn’t work. It would be worth it just to see that smile again. “Okay, let’s do it.”
“The only thing I’m worried about is Brad. He said …”
“Don’t worry about him. He’s my brother – I can take care of it.” She was a little worried about Brad herself, and figured it’d be better coming from her than from Jax. She could explain everything and he’d come around. At least she hoped so.
“No, I’ll talk to him. This is something we need to discuss man-to-man.”
She arched an eyebrow. “Okay. I’ll leave him to you, then.”
Jax nodded and skipped another stone.
Jax shoved the pizza box into the garbage can and scanned the room. He’d moved into the new house a few days earlier – the owners had agreed to let him rent it until it cleared escrow, and he’d jumped at the chance. It would let him get used to the place before he had to get back to work, but he hadn’t gotten around to decorating. He didn’t have much to unpack, since he’d only brought a couple of bags from Atlanta and borrowed an air mattress from his mother.
His phone buzzed in his pocket, and he pulled it out and answered it, sitting on the kitchen counter. “Hi, Mom.”
“Jax, how’s it going in your new place?” He could hear the sadness in her voice.
“It’s good. I’m going to look for some furniture today.”
“Good idea. Although I don’t know why you felt the need to move out, sweetheart. You know you can stay here as long as you like. I have plenty of room …” She fell quiet.
He knew she was likely blowing her nose or dabbing her eyes, the way she had when he told her he intended to buy a place of his own in town. “Mom, I told you why – I want to spend more time in Ardensville in the future. I’ve been gone too much, I want this to be home for me when I’m not required to be in Atlanta.”
“But this is your home.”
“I’m an adult now, Mom – I love you and I love being at your house, but I just need my own place. Okay?”
“Okay. I understand that, sweetheart. And I would love to see you more often.”
“You will, I promise. And thanks for helping me move in and clean the place up the other day. I couldn’t have done it without you.”
She chuckled. “Yes, you could’ve.”
“Well, I’m glad I didn’t have to.”
He could hear the smile in her voice. “I was happy to do it.”
When he hung up the phone, he set it on the counter and rubbed his face with a groan. He hated to hear his mother sound so sad, but there was nothing he could do about it. Would time heal her broken heart? He couldn’t be sure – she and Dad had been so in love, spent so much of their daily lives together for such a long time. There was no way of knowing how long it would take to adjust to her new reality.
He spied a dirty plate on the floor by the fireplace, picked it up and carried it to the kitchen sink to soak. When was it from? Dinner the previous night was sushi. When did he have something reddish on a plate? Three nights ago, the spaghetti? Perhaps that was it.
He linked his hands behind his head and took another quick look around. Stacey was coming over. Moving in with him as his make-believe wife. He’d hoped to make the place look more inviting before she arrived, but hadn’t had time – he’d spent most of the past few days with his mother helping her with paperwork, sorting through Dad’s accounts and all the tasks that had to be dealt with when someone died. If only Mom had paid more attention – she seemed to know nothing about their finances, accounts or passwords. Everything he asked was met with a shrug.
He sighed at the s
ound of a car in the drive. Too late to do anything more now – Stacey was there. He’d given her the gate code, so she didn’t have to wait. He wanted her to feel relaxed, at home, since his house would be her home for the foreseeable future. The idea was a good one. Whether they could pull it off was another matter.
Jax opened the door and leaned against the jam while Stacey finished parking, then wandered out to help her carry her things inside. She climbed out of the car with a ready smile and slid her sunglasses up on top of her curls. “Morning,” she said.
He surprised her with a hug. “Good morning to you, and welcome to your new home, Mrs. Green.”
Her cheeks flushed. “Mrs. Green? Wow, that sounds strange.”
“Well, you won’t have much time to get used to it, I’m afraid. I was hoping we might head out together this afternoon to buy some furniture. It’s a good opportunity to show off our fake marriage, and maybe I’ll finally be left alone.”
“Okay, that sounds like a plan.” Stacey popped the trunk, and Jax hauled out her suitcase and set it on the ground. Their “marriage” was off to a smooth start.
9
Stacey eyed the black Dodge Ram in Jax’s expansive and otherwise empty garage. “Is this truck new?”
“Yep. I thought I’d leave it here to use when I’m in town.”
She nodded. The idea of having so much money you could buy a spare car to use when you visited your second home was something she couldn’t even wrap her mind around. She was still in need of a first home, and her very old Corolla was in dire need of maintenance, if not burial. It pulled badly to the right, a hazard on country roads where there was often a ditch instead of a shoulder, and tended to fishtail when she accelerated.
But still, it seemed like her luck was turning – she’d be living in this place as well. She almost had to pinch herself whenever she thought of it. In fact, she’d sincerely believed Jax would change his mind about the whole thing before she got a chance to move in. But here she was, standing in the garage, her things already stowed in the guest room. She grinned and spun in place with her arms out.