Malice

by Jennifer Jaynes

  The bartender nodded and walked away.

  Since hearing the news about Suzie, Daniel had also begun thinking about his brother, Jason. Of those last weeks that he had been in the hospital, dying from leukemia. He remembered it like it was yesterday. The dusky tone his brother’s face had taken. How frail and weak he had become.

  The girl wasn’t your fault. You were simply doing your job.

  No. That’s not true. I should have known.

  You were just doing your job.

  That’s a cop-out, and you know it.

  No, this . . . turning to this poison is the cop-out.

  I said shut the hell up. He tried to fling the voice back into its little room, but it dug in its heels.

  You’d be dead without me. You know that.

  When Daniel closed his eyes, lights flashed behind his eyelids. He was going to have to figure out a way to get home. Driving was out of the question. So was calling Mia.

  Home.

  Mia.

  Neither word sounded warm or comforting anymore.

  Maybe he’d call an Uber. He picked up his phone and was searching for his Uber app when someone placed a hand on his back. He turned to see who it was, and the room tilted.

  It was Billy. No, two Billys.

  “Jesus, Dan. You look like shit.”

  Yeah. He’d been hearing that a lot lately.

  “What are you doing here?” Daniel asked, his words bouncing into one another.

  Billy laughed, then stared at him. But the grin quickly slipped from his face. “You’re kidding, right?”

  Daniel blinked.

  “You seriously don’t remember calling me? A couple of hours ago. You said you needed a ride home.”

  Daniel nodded. Or at least he thought he did.

  Billy . . . both of them . . . laughed. “Damn. You really don’t remember, do you?”

  “I’ve had a pretty shitty day,” Daniel mumbled, but getting his tongue to land in the right places so he could make the appropriate sounds was much more difficult than usual.

  Billy patted him on the shoulder. “Come on, let’s get you home.”

  When Billy touched Daniel’s hand, it screamed with pain. He yanked it away.

  “Jesus, man. What’d you do to your hand?”

  Daniel sank into the passenger seat of Billy’s car and plunged his feet into a graveyard of trash. Discarded fast-food bags and other items sat almost a foot deep on the floorboard. He trained his gaze on the glove compartment so the world didn’t tilt. If he closed his eyes, looked out the window, or even at Billy, he knew he would vomit.

  Everyone around him was failing him. Teddy had failed him, his colleagues, Mia, his father. Strangely, Billy, of all people, had been there for him more than anyone in his entire life. Billy, who was never on time, always screwing something up, and couldn’t keep a job for the life of him. If it hadn’t been for Billy, Daniel was pretty sure he never would have applied for medical school and would probably be working as a computer repairman now, which is what he’d originally set out to do. He laughed out loud at the realization, and the sound sent pain knifing through his head.

  “What’s so funny?” Billy asked.

  Funny? He didn’t remember. “I don’t know.”

  “You’re a mess, dude. How long were you in there?”

  “Hell if I know.”

  “How about some tunes?” Out the corner of his eye, he saw Billy fidget with the car’s stereo. Suddenly, Iron Maiden began blasting from the speakers.

  Daniel’s brain rattled. He winced and brought his hands to his head to hold his skull together. To keep it in one piece.

  “Can you turn that off?” he asked.

  The music vanished.

  “Sorry, man.”

  Snippets of the conversation from his meeting with Gail ran circles in his head. Then the fact that Suzie had died. His throat tightened, and tears filled his eyes. “A little girl died,” he said. The tears slipped down his cheeks before he could bring his swollen hand to his face to wipe them away. “She was only eighteen months old. A patient of mine. And it was my fault.”

  “Holy shit.”

  More tears fell. He wiped them away with the back of his hand, and his knuckles stung.

  “Dude. Does your boss know?”

  “Probably.”

  “Shit. You gonna lose your job?”

  Daniel laughed grimly. “Only if I stop administering the drug that killed her.”

  A pause. Then: “Dude, you’re drunk. That makes no sense.”

  Billy was right. It didn’t make sense. None of it did.

  Blood surged through his veins as he thought about the stock Teddy had bought in Immunext. The man was a crook and a pathetic excuse for a doctor.

  He straightened a little in his seat, still careful to keep his eyes on the glove compartment. He thought about going home to Mia in the shape he was in. What would she think? Well, to hell with her. She was part of the reason he was drinking so much. If it hadn’t been for—

  A thought flickered in his mind. He stewed on it, turning it around in his head. “You said you could make Christian go away. What did you mean by that?”

  The car was silent. He could hear only the sound of rubber on pavement. “You know,” Billy said. “Scare the living shit out of him. Make sure he stays away from your old lady.”

  Daniel thought about Christian’s model-perfect face. His disgustingly hard body. Mia’s arms flung around him. The guy probably had pet his dog when Bruce was over at his house with her. More anger bloomed inside of him. An anger bigger than he’d ever felt before. “I want you to do it.”

  More rubber on pavement, then: “You sure?” Daniel could hear a little excitement in Billy’s voice.

  Daniel nodded. “Rough him up—and make sure it hurts.”

  “Yeah, sure. You got it, man.”

  Daniel’s phone rang. He fumbled for it and checked the screen, expecting it to be Mia again. She’d been blowing up his phone with calls and texts all night. But the screen read: Unknown Number.

  Frowning, he answered the call. “Dr. Winters,” he said, trying to keep his words from tumbling into one another.

  “Call and retract any statements you made,” said a deep, gravelly voice on the other end of the line. “If anything you told that bitch reporter goes public, I’ll make sure you and your ex-con wife live to regret it.”

  What the hell?

  “Who is this?”

  “Call off the reporter. Immediately,” the man said, then the line went dead.

  CHAPTER 40

  MIA

  IT WAS LATE when Mia heard a car pull into the driveway.

  Daniel was finally home.

  She lay on the couch, listening. But instead of hearing his key slide into the lock, someone knocked. She thought about how heavily Daniel had been drinking lately, and her heart beat like a drum in her chest.

  Had he been in an accident?

  She rushed to the front door and peered through the peephole but couldn’t make out the man on the other side. “Hello?” she called. “Who’s there?”

  “It’s Billy. Daniel’s friend. Daniel’s here with me, but he’s . . . he’s obviously had a lot to drink.”

  She hesitated.

  “I’m telling the truth, lady. Please hurry up. Your husband isn’t exactly light.”

  She opened the front door to find Billy propping up a very drunk Daniel. She stepped aside to let Billy help her husband inside.

  “Where should I put him?”

  She pointed to the staircase. “Upstairs.”

  With one of Daniel’s arms flung over each of their shoulders, they walked a barely conscious Daniel up the stairs. Mia stole glances at Billy. Was he the guy she’d seen at Christian’s? If so, what had he seen? Why had he been there?

  A few minutes later, they had Daniel in bed. Bruce sniffed at him and whined. Sensing Daniel was in bad shape, he jumped up on the bed and curled up next to him.

  “If I w
ere you, I’d get a bucket or trash can or something to keep over here,” Billy said, pointing to the floor beside Daniel. “He’s been fine so far, but you never know. And you might want to put something on those knuckles.”

  Mia looked at Daniel’s knuckles. They were swollen and crusted in blood. What the—? “Did he get into a fight?”

  “I have no idea what he did tonight. He was pretty out of it by the time I got there.”

  Mia nodded. “Thanks for bringing him home.”

  Billy’s eyes lingered on her. He clenched his jaw and stared at her with such venom in his eyes she was certain it had been him she’d seen parked outside of Christian’s house. Startled, she took a step backward.

  “I’ll see my way out,” he said.

  She nodded. Then she listened to his footsteps as he walked from the room. They stopped when he got to the staircase.

  “Mia?” he called.

  She went to the doorway. “Yeah?”

  “Make sure you lock the door behind me. I know this sounds strange, but I think someone might have followed us here.”

  Followed them?

  Monte’s face flashed into Mia’s mind. Then Dr. Hemsworth and his family. An icy sensation raced through her. “Okay, I will,” she said.

  She followed Billy down the steps and to the front door. Once he was outside, she locked up. Then she walked around the interior of the house and made sure the other doors were locked. The windows, too.

  She grabbed a large bowl and filled it with water, then went upstairs and cleaned Daniel’s knuckles while he lay in bed. She noticed for the first time that he seemed thinner. He also hadn’t shaved today. As she was bandaging his hand, his eyes fluttered open.

  She smiled at him. “Looks like you had quite a night, mister.”

  He blinked at her. “You remember that question you asked me that first night at the bar?” he asked, his words horribly slurred.

  “Which one?”

  “If I thought I was destined for happiness.”

  Mia nodded. “Yes, I remember.”

  He shot her an icy look. “I’ve been thinking about that the last couple of days—and the answer is no.”

  Mia opened her mouth, but nothing came out.

  Daniel’s eyes seemed to glow. “I should have known better than to trust someone like you.”

  CHAPTER 41

  DANIEL

  WHEN DANIEL WOKE up, he felt like someone had pounded on his head with a hammer. Everything ached. Even his skin.

  He cringed at the harshness of the morning sun streaming in through the window next to the bed. The ceiling fan above his head rotated in slow circles, and its repetition nauseated him.

  He familiarized himself with his surroundings, relieved to find himself at home, in his own bed. He turned his head to the side, his vision taking a second to catch up with the motion. The other side of the bed was empty and didn’t look as though it had been slept in.

  What day was it?

  What time?

  It was a weekday. He grabbed his phone and realized it was after 8:00 a.m. He was already late for work. There were several messages in his text message in-box. Many of them from Teddy. Fucking crook, he thought. He wasn’t interested in reading anything Teddy had to say, so he ignored the man’s messages and texted Margy letting her know he wouldn’t be in again.

  He slowly reconstructed last night. His meeting with Gail. He struggled to remember everything that had happened and what had been said. Some of it trickled slowly back to him. Some of the things Gail had told him about Respira. The fact that he’d agreed to go public about his concerns. He’d told her she could write about everything he’d shared with her last night if she thought any of it would help.

  Then he remembered the phone call from the office.

  Suzie.

  Oh, God. No.

  Bile slid up his throat.

  Every inch of his body screamed as he dragged himself out of bed and staggered to the bathroom. He barely made it to the toilet before he lost last night’s alcohol. As he gripped the toilet’s porcelain rim, he noticed his right hand was bandaged. He tried to remember why, but he had no recollection.

  When he was finished vomiting, he went to the sink and flipped the light switch on the wall. The fluorescent light overhead flickered off and on as he splashed cold water on his face.

  You’re going to kill yourself, Daniel. You know that, right?

  He stared at his reflection, the water dripping from his bloated face. He looked like shit. He squeezed some toothpaste on his toothbrush. How had he gotten home? He hadn’t driven, had he? Had Mia been awake when he got home? Had he spoken to her? Was she at home now?

  After brushing his teeth, he shuffled to the guest room to look out the window. His car wasn’t there. He tried to think. Then he remembered Billy. Billy had driven him home. His car had been filthy.

  He and Billy had talked. About what, he couldn’t remember. He felt like it was about something important, though. Something he should be remembering. It was just on the edge of his recall.

  What the hell was it?

  An even greater sense of unease overtook him.

  In the shower, the water pelted his skin like thousands of tiny razor blades. It was too painful. He turned the water off and stood there, dripping, freezing, and just as filthy as before.

  No more damn drinking, Daniel. You’re going to—

  “I know, dammit!” he said, his words reverberating painfully in his skull. But he agreed. The drinking had gone too far again.

  He was done with it.

  He couldn’t go on like this.

  He was going to get help.

  You mean it?

  “Yeah. I do.”

  Good. Now tell Mia you know about Christian, and kick her ass to the curb.

  He nodded. “I will.”

  But first, he had questions for her. He wanted to know why. Ask her how she could look him in the eyes and tell him she loved him while she was screwing some other guy. Ask if she’d ever really loved him.

  Suddenly, too exhausted to even stand any longer, he lumbered back into the bedroom and, still wrapped in the towel, crawled back into bed.

  Bruce’s ears pricked, and he whined, staring at the bedroom door. Daniel figured someone might be at the front door, but there was no way he was going to go downstairs, no way he was getting out of bed right now. His body felt like a huge boulder, too heavy to move. He needed some rest.

  “No, buddy. Stop,” he muttered.

  Bruce continued to stare at the door, panting.

  He’d sleep for another hour, then get up. Read Teddy’s texts. Figure out what his next steps were. Just as he was closing his eyes, his phone dinged on the nightstand. A text from Billy:

  Just brought your car back to you. The keys are under the driver’s seat. About to head out now. I’ll let you know when it’s all done.

  Daniel’s brow creased. When what’s done? he wondered, and he dozed off again.

  CHAPTER 42

  MIA

  MIA SAT OUTSIDE of Pavilions, an upscale grocery store in Malibu, waiting for the store to open. When she’d left the house, Daniel had still been in bed, sleeping.

  His words last night frightened her.

  I should have known better than to trust someone like you.

  What hurt the worst about his words was that he’d been right. She wasn’t someone worthy of his trust. Their relationship had been based on lies. He’d never known the real her. The person she’d been most of her life. Also, she’d gotten the news she’d been waiting for. Now she had to tell him—and she’d tell him not just the truth about that, but everything. The whole sordid story. She’d tell him when he woke up. Then she’d pack.

  She wondered what he already knew. Had he somehow traced the money back to Christian? No, that was impossible. She’d been careful and had given Christian cash. When Christian had first asked for the money, she had cringed. At that point, she still hadn’t known if she could trust him
, thought he might be taking advantage of her, but she hadn’t had much of a choice. She felt she had to help him. He’d been behind on his rent and was going to be evicted.

  When they’d first started dating, she’d told Daniel that she’d had a troubled past and that she didn’t like to think about it, much less talk about it. She had told him how she’d been an only child of a single mother. How her mother hadn’t been much of a mother at all. She’d told him a little bit about her friend, Sam. How he’d been the only person who had ever been there for her, and how the US Marine Corps had whisked him off. But she hadn’t told him any of the important stuff. Luckily, Daniel had been laid back and hadn’t pried.

  “Take your time,” he’d said. “When you’re ready to tell me more, I’ll be here.”

  The idea of being able to start over with a blank slate had felt wonderful at first. She’d have time to figure out what to tell him and how to tell him. On her terms. When she was ready. But then Christian happened.

  The store’s double doors opened, and an employee in a Pavilions uniform walked out and signaled to the people who were sitting in their vehicles that the store was now open to the public.

  Mia climbed out of her car and walked toward the supermarket. She noticed a poster for Respira as she walked in. On it was an image of a mom and a little boy. They were gazing into each other’s eyes. The words below them read:

  YOU WANT THE BEST FOR ME, DON’T YOU? SHOW ME YOU DO BY GETTING ME RESPIRA TODAY.

  Apparently, the drug was being offered in the supermarket’s pharmacy. She literally couldn’t go anywhere without seeing or hearing an ad for it. There were the television commercials, ads plastered on the sides of city buses, bus stops, taxicabs, cash registers, on the radio, on websites. She couldn’t recall a bigger push for a single drug.

  Inside the supermarket, she found a cart and pushed it across the polished floor to the produce section. The market smelled like freshly baked bread and made her stomach growl.

  She thought back to how all the pivotal things had unfolded in her life. Two weeks after Sam left for boot camp, she’d met Monte at the Laundromat. The next day, he took her on her very first date at an Applebee’s restaurant. She had been only fifteen, but her mother hadn’t paid much attention to her whereabouts. Two weeks later, Monte had convinced her to run away from home to live with him. He said he’d take care of her, and she had believed him. It took her only a week to realize that he was able to afford their nice apartment and his shiny black Lexus because he was dealing drugs, but at the time, she hadn’t cared. What had mattered most to her was that she wasn’t lonely any longer. A week after she’d moved in with him, he’d begun hitting her and playing mind games.