Instacrush: A Rookie Rebels Novel

by Meader, Kate

  She probably would be happy if he fucked her on this table, then headed out once the deed was done. No aftercare. No cuddling. Nothing.

  Not on his watch. He pulled back, furious with where his brain had gone.

  “What’s wrong?”

  “We should be in a bed. I should be m—”

  “Don’t say it,” she growled.

  “Making love to you. You’re the mother of my child, not some floozy in a bar.”

  She thumped his chest. “I can be both, Theo Kershaw. I can be sexy and wanton and lusty and still be the woman who will give birth to a future hockey champion or maybe a Math nerd or an artist. Who knows? Because people can be multiple things.”

  She was right. He was overthinking this, trying to be respectful when the most respectful thing he could do was honor her wish to be banged in a bar. Ladies’ choice.

  “Whatever you want, Ellie.”

  Her smile was everything and she threw her arms around him. “Tell me what you’re going to do, Kershaw.”

  “I’m gonna fuck you, Ellie. I’m gonna do you so hard you’ll see stars. Then you’ll beg me to do you again, maybe from behind.”

  Her mouth hooked up in a mischievous curve. “That dirty mouth suits you, Theo Kershaw. Suits me.”

  Suits me. Sexier words had never been spoken. That’s what he wanted here. To match her well. To be her mate. To exist at her level. And he didn’t think he needed to come down to get there because she was already a queen in his eyes.

  He let his fingers converse, his mouth lead the way. He rolled down her panties and resituated her on the table. Stepping back, he stripped off his shirt and pulled down his sweats.

  She brushed a hand across his abs, then stroked his cock, a long delicious pull. “You’re so sexy, Theo. Every morning I look at you on your stupid Insta feed and I can’t believe you’re real. That this is real.”

  Ha, knew she was a fan. Digging his fingers into the hem of her T-shirt, he lifted it up and made fast work of her bra. His mouth watered as her breasts spilled free.

  “God, your tits are gorgeous, Ellie. I dream about them every night.” He cupped one, enjoying the weight of it, the feel of the nipple under his thumb as it hardened to an inviting peak.

  He RSVP’ed with a lusty suck.

  He coasted a hand down her stomach over the life they’d created until his fingers landed in a thatch of curls. Another couple of inches found her hot and slick.

  “Open your legs, Ellie. Give me room to work.”

  She parted her thighs.

  “Wider.”

  She followed his instructions, giving him the access he craved. He rubbed his dick along the slick seam, watching as it became more and more coated with her desire. Her head leaned on his chest, her gaze locked to the dance below.

  “Tell me you want this, Ellie. That you want me.”

  “Oh, Theo.” She sounded sad. “How could you doubt it?”

  He wasn’t about to unpack that. Everyone had doubts, and while he was sure she was sexually attracted to him, he was looking for more. He wanted this to mean us.

  “Please. I can’t take any more.” She grasped his ass and guided him to her entrance, then hooked her leg around his hip. With a full stroke, he thrust deep inside.

  “Ellie, you’re—oh, Christ.” That velvet grip tightened around him, milking him good. She tunneled her fingers through his hair, her breath hot and fast against his lips.

  He withdrew a couple of inches, every second outside her torture. Only inside, deep, tight, wet, did he feel at home. Each long, slow, consuming stroke bound him closer and burned away their problems.

  She dug her fingers into his ass and he felt her tighten, the moment of her release. He joined her on one final thrust, yelling out his climax and probably cracking a couple of those top-shelf liquor bottles while he was at it.

  22

  Theo was dead to the world, but not to Elle. To her he was very much alive as she took a moment to appreciate the beauty of this naked man in her bed. He’d even unconsciously done a solid for her eyeballs by turning over on his front so she could admire that perfect ass.

  So much for her no sex, it’s complicated rule. Theo’s efforts to be a jerk had merely revealed another perfect side to him—his willingness to respect her and give her what she needed right now. She’d tried dragging him down to her level and he’d only succeeded in giving that dirty old level a spit-and-shine.

  “Take a picture, it’ll last longer.” He turned his head, his inky lashes blinking his gorgeous green eyes awake. “Though, my stamina has never been in question.”

  “Just admiring the view before it’s ruined when you open your mouth.”

  No sooner had she uttered that cheeky retort, Theo had her pinned beneath him. Those pro-athlete reflexes.

  “So I should use my mouth for other things.” He nibbled her ear, finding a sweetly sensitive spot she’d never known was so sweet or so sensitive.

  “You’re in a good mood. Better than when you arrived last night.”

  “Well, I had reason to be cranky, Ellie. You’re going to give me a heart attack before this baby is born.”

  “I don’t mean to be so difficult.”

  He scoffed, so she pinched his bicep.

  “Honestly. I’m just not used to having anyone be so … kind.” The girls last night, the new friends she was making, the man in her bed.

  “Well, get used to it. You will be pampered and cosseted and cared for as long as I’m around to do it.”

  That was all well and good but she didn’t want to be a leech. “Kind of goes both ways. Want to tell me what your week’s been like?”

  “We’re one game from being bounced from the playoffs and last night I played like shit.”

  “That’s all?”

  “Isn’t that enough? Then there’s my constant state of arousal because my baby mama is so damn sexy and I’ve been a good boy keeping my hands off. Mostly.”

  “Theo.” She stroked his perfect cheekbone and rubbed a thumb along his full bottom lip. A Theo move. “You’ve listened to every one of my gripes. Tell me what’s going on. Really. Last night you seemed more out of sorts than usual.”

  She watched as he waged some internal battle. Finally, he said, “A few weeks ago, I talked to my dad for the first time in seven years, and yesterday he texted me before the game.”

  Not expecting that. “Really?”

  He blew out a breath and rolled off her, pulling the sheet over his half-mast erection.

  “I told you how he didn’t want to know me. He’s aware I exist but he’s not interested in any relationship with me. The first time I met him was just after I got into college on my hockey scholarship. I’d done this cool thing. Was pretty proud of myself. I wasn’t looking for money or anything. I wanted to reach out to him once I had something to show him. My talent.”

  Her heart melted for him, then and now. As if Theo the great kid wasn’t enough, he had to bring gifts to the reunion party with his asshole sperm donor.

  “What happened? Back when you met him?”

  “I went to see him in his offices here in Chicago. He’s a lawyer, but he was about to make a bid for alderman. He said he didn’t think it was a good time, he wasn’t sure if it would ever be a good time. The love child showing up on his doorstep wasn’t the best optics. It hurt, but I moved on.”

  She cupped his jaw. “And then he got back in touch? After all this time?”

  “He texts every now and then, just to let me know he’s alive. When I was in recovery from brain surgery, he sent a fruit basket and a get well card.” He rolled his eyes. “Then, a couple of months ago, one of his kids showed up for a tour of the Rebels locker room.”

  Her jaw dropped. “No way!”

  “Yes! I couldn’t believe it, Elle. It was like looking at me when I was his age, but he had no clue. His mom was there and she had no clue. The kid entered some contest because he’s a fan. Of me.”

  “That’s …” Wild
.

  “Right? The next day, Nick called and practically accused me of setting a trap for his kid. Like I had some say in who gets picked. That’s what my publicist is for!” He looked away, clearly embarrassed that he was so emotional about it. But that’s what she loved about Theo. No one would ever accuse him of being a brooding automaton. “Said maybe it’s time we got together. I shut it down because … I don’t know. It felt off, like he’s doing it because his worlds are colliding and his hand is being forced, not because he really wants a relationship with me. Maybe he’s trying to get ahead of the situation before it blows up in his face. Yesterday, he texted me good luck before the game and it freaked me out. Why do I have to do this on his schedule? And my brain’s running a thousand miles a minute because I can’t help building it up to be this thing it can never be. So stupid.”

  “No, it’s not. It’s not stupid to hope.” She knew all about hope, how it gathered you up in its soft arms before the claws came out and slashed your dumb dreams to pieces.

  “Wonder if he knows about the baby,” he said distractedly. “Maybe that’s his play. Thing is …”

  “What?”

  Emotion clouded his eyes. “I don’t care about him, not really. But I have brothers. I always wanted brothers and I wouldn’t mind getting to know them better. Unfortunately they come with Nick.”

  Just when she thought Theo couldn’t impress her more, he raised the stakes. Of course he wanted to be the best big brother, just like he wanted to be the best dad. This man had so much love to give. How lucky was she to be under his giant wing span.

  “I’ve been checking them out on Instagram. One of the kids—Jason, the same little dude who came to visit—is pretty active there. They have a dog.” He screwed up his mouth. “That’s messed up, isn’t it? Me stalking them?”

  Oh, Theo. “Not at all. It’s natural to be curious. In fact, I have a confession to make.” She stroked his chest with her fingertips. “I’m a bit of a stalker myself. Of you.”

  His mouth formed an O. “Knew it! For how long?”

  “A while. Not that long. I was just filling time while I drank my morning Joe!”

  “You like me.”

  She pushed at his unyielding chest. “I like looking at you.”

  Those strong Instagrammable arms wrapped her up and held her tight. “I won’t tell anyone that you’ve got a crush on me, Ellie.” His lips brushed the top of her head, and she rested her head on his chest and allowed herself a moment of peace.

  “We don’t need him, Theo. We have Aurora. The team.”

  “And your parents.”

  Right. She remained silent, wishing she had it in her to be as honest as him.

  After a long beat, he asked, “Did they hurt you? Is that why you won’t talk about them?”

  “No, nothing like that.” Though she supposed it was a different kind of hurt, leaving wounds that hadn’t healed as quickly as she’d have liked. She’d grown up feeling used and unworthy to be their daughter. “We’re not all that close, that’s it. They’ll come visit eventually but don’t expect much, okay?”

  “What about your twin sister?”

  Had she told Theo Amy was her twin? “We kind of fell out but we’re finding our way back to each other.”

  “Maybe you should invite her to visit. Once the season is over, we’ll have some down time.”

  Elle wanted her sister to turn over a new leaf. What better example than surrounding her with kind people? They hadn’t experienced a lot of kindness in their lives.

  “Maybe. I’ll think about it.”

  He curled a hand around the nape of her neck and drew her lips to his for a kiss. “The sharing thing goes both ways. I’m not just a smoothie-making sex machine, I’m also a good listener when I’m not talking about myself. So you don’t want to tell me everything, but we can be honest about this. About desire. About comfort. About friendship. It doesn’t have to hide behind me role-playing as a jerk. We haven’t had enough sex to need to spice it up that way yet!”

  She giggled. “Maybe I just wanted to see how far you’d go to get some.”

  “Pretty far, it seems. I’m so hot for you, Ellie. And I like you. A lot.” His eyebrows dipped. “Well, would you look at that.”

  She followed his gaze to her nightstand where she’d placed the small plush dinosaur Theo bought for her the day after she told him she was pregnant.

  “It’s cute,” she said by way of explanation. I like you, too. A lot.

  “And it’s the last thing you see before you fall asleep and the first thing—”

  She growled. “Don’t make a thing of it, Kershaw.”

  “Wouldn’t dream of it.” He had never looked smugger. He cupped her jaw and rubbed her nose. “I know you’re not sure about me but be sure of this: I think you are gorgeous and smart and funny and I want nothing more than to slip inside you on a regular basis. How’s that for honest?”

  Not bad. Really good, in fact. Rather than think too hard on that, she kissed him and let herself be adored.

  23

  Ready to chill after morning skate, Theo took a seat on the ass-dented sofa in the player lounge. He should really be over at Elle’s making her lunch, but she’d promised to help with inventory at the Empty Net, saying it was a chance to earn some extra cash.

  Jesus, she pissed him off. He thought they were getting somewhere between the best sex of his life and opening up to each other yesterday morning. She’d even brought up her sister without prompting.

  Gunnar sat beside him and turned on the TV. “It’s a very special episode of Days, Kershaw. Kristen’s about to get her comeuppance.”

  In classic Days style, Kristen DiMera was currently wearing a Mission Impossible-style mask of Nicole Walker while running around causing havoc. Bonus: she was also married to her own brother, Tony.

  “What I don’t get,” Levi said. “Is how Brady had sex with her and didn’t realize it wasn’t Nicole. Hell, Kristen’s fifteen years older and wearing a latex mask!”

  “Brady has the IQ of a pistachio,” Theo said. “Heads up, John and Hope are about to figure it out.”

  Two minutes later, John had made a speech worthy of Hercules Poirot and de-wigged Kristen in front of all of Salem. Nice. And … commercial break.

  Theo took a bite of an energy bar. “I’m worried about Elle.”

  Hunt, aka Bodyguard to the Hockey Star’s Baby Mama, snapped, “Why? What’s wrong?”

  Theo shot a glance of this guy at Gunnar, who merely grunted. “She’s still working at the bar. I know she’s not an invalid, probably because she’s told me, oh, a million times. But she’s on her feet all night, eating on the go, getting to bed late, and having to deal with drunks hitting on her.”

  Theo would never dream of telling any woman what to do. Caveman tactics weren’t his style, not when he had a beautiful smile and sparkling green eyes that did the work for him. But then he’d never met a woman like Elle Butler.

  He wished she’d let him take care of her.

  Which he knew was a real old-fashioned attitude, but it couldn’t be helped. When it came to protecting what was his, he was an old-fashioned guy. And he didn’t think there was anything wrong with that.

  “She can handle it,” Hunt said. “Though it sounds like the drunks hitting on her bothers you.”

  “Have you not been listening? It all bothers me.” When neither of them said anything, he added, “It’s not like that, anyway. We’re not a couple. Not in the real sense.”

  Another indistinct sound from Gunnar.

  “Do you have something more intelligent to add, Double-O, or is this the extent of your contribution?” Double-O because his last name was Bond. Like all Theo’s nicknames, it was a work-in-progress.

  “Soap opera law, T. You say you’re not a couple but you guys can’t keep your eyes off each other.”

  Other things, too, but he didn’t need to know that.

  “I’d like if we were on a more stable footing. Would mak
e things easier.”

  Levi said, “For your kid?”

  “It’s better when both parents are involved with the kid and each other.” He didn’t have that and he turned out all right—didn’t he?—but he would have liked to have a mom and dad in the picture. Or maybe he was just looking for another reason to get closer to Elle.

  “I still haven’t met her parents. She hardly talks about her family. Tommy did a background check—I didn’t ask him—but there are no red flags. She doesn’t seem interested in introducing me which makes me think …”

  “What?” Gunnar asked.

  “That I’m not good enough for their daughter. She said they didn’t approve of her going into the army and that they expected her to contribute in some way she wouldn’t.” He turned to Hunt. “Remember when she showed up here in November. We thought then that she was running from something.”

  Hunt looked thoughtful. Sometimes it took him a while to pronounce. “So she’s got some stuff about her family she doesn’t want to share. Maybe they’re like the DiMeras on Days. Maybe they’re toxic and she doesn’t want that around her baby or you. People put too much stock in the past as predictive of the future. Just be there for her now.”

  “Is that what you did with Jordan? Ignored the past and embraced the future?” Theo knew for a fact the past had gnarled Hunt’s world view when it came to Jordan, his best friend’s widow.

  “I’m just saying that she’s a smart girl and a good person, Theo. Let her know you think that and she’ll start to feel safe around you. Trust has to be earned.”

  While Theo agreed with all this in theory, he was impatient to get Elle on the same page. If he got traded out, he wasn’t leaving her or the baby behind.

  He let that sink in. Was this about Elle or the hatchling?

  “So she’s running from something,” Gunnar said. “All that matters is who or what she runs toward.”

  That was all well and good. “You don’t think it matters what’s going on in her past, with her family? You don’t think that’s going to have to be dealt with eventually?” He’d tried that with his father. It didn’t work out but at least he hadn’t ignored it—bottling up past hurts never boded well. If Elle couldn’t be honest with him or even herself, what hope did they have?