Finding Unity

by Ripley Proserpina

  Seok stared at her. “I didn’t know.”

  Her face heated. “It hadn’t come up until now.”

  He leaned down to kiss her, sweeping into her mouth to gather her taste and then drew back. “I’m clean, too. I’d love to feel you. Only you.”

  His words made her squeeze her legs together. That was what she wanted, too. Opening her legs, she slid her knees along the outside of his thighs and gripped his hips. All it took was one shift, one thrust, and he was inside her.

  “Holy shit.” He panted and squeezed his eyes shut. “Don’t move. Please.”

  Asking her not to move was like asking her not to love him. She wasn’t in control of her body when he touched her. She was a creature of feeling, not logic.

  But she tried.

  She tried to hold herself still, but her inner muscles clenched around him and he groaned.

  “I want this to last, but I don’t think…”

  Digging her fingers into his back, she rocked toward him. His pelvis ground against her clit and she moaned. Oh, God. If he didn’t move…

  Inside her, his cock twitched, and she clenched in response. “God damn,” followed a string of Korean words she couldn’t understand.

  Rearing back, he drove inside her. Nora cried out and then bit her lip. It was the middle of the day, and the others could be home any minute.

  Seok did it again. And again. And now Nora didn’t care if the entire neighborhood heard her. She chased her orgasm, desperate for her pleasure as well as Seok’s.

  He kissed her, nibbling her lips and then sucking hard on her tongue. The slow draw of his tongue was like the friction of his skin against hers.

  Heat built at her core, deep inside her at the place Seok hit each time he sank into her. She wrapped her arms around him even tighter. He was her anchor. If she clung to him, she wouldn’t drown.

  “Nae sereang.” He let out a grunt and a wave of warmth filled her. At the first wash, she started to come. It went on and on, lasting as long as Seok rolled his hips against hers.

  “Did you mean it?” he asked, lifting his head to stare at her. “You’d come with me?”

  She didn’t have a passport, but she had zero qualms about following him to the ends of the Earth. “I love you, Seok. I’ll go anywhere you go.”

  Maybe he didn’t understand what it meant when she said she loved him. But he’d learn. She was going to show him, and she didn’t care how long it took for him to believe it.

  Chapter 5

  Seok: Eighteen Years Old

  It was a relief to return to school. He wasn’t the only one who felt that. On his flight from Seoul to Vancouver were three other students from Saint Martin’s. Unlike Seok, they’d arrived at the airport terminal with their families.

  From his spot at the counter, he watched them bow and hug and noted the sag of their shoulders when mothers and fathers finally left. International students like them found home—and family—could be stifling

  The same emotion had passed through Seok when he’d gotten into his car this morning. Freedom.

  Certainly, Saint Martin’s, with its rigorous academic standards and athletic expectations, put a heavy amount of responsibilities on the students’ shoulders. But it was nothing like the expectations Seok had on him when he came home.

  He pushed his hand through his hair as he sat back in his seat. The sun was going down and it shone through the tiny window next to him. Leaning his head on his palm, he stared out at the tarmac and thought back to the holiday he was leaving.

  Ha. Holiday. A holiday implied that there was a break from responsibility. A time to let go. Relax.

  None of that happened in the Jheon household. When Seok returned from school, he was expected to shadow his father and older brother every day. Silently, of course.

  He sat through meetings and presentations. Business lunches. He went on errands and sat in the car while business associates and employees went from place to place.

  His role was shadow. He was silent. Ignored. And yet he was the recipient of all the sidelong glances and every deep bow.

  His phone chimed and he lifted it to read the message. It was a photo of his brother, Baek Hyeon, wearing a sad face. Behind him was a car pulling into busy traffic.

  He chuckled. That was his car. Sorry to leave all the work to you, he replied.

  Baek’s only response was a thumbs down emoji.

  Seeing his brother had been a highlight of his holiday. It generally was. Seok might have expectations aplenty heaped on his head, but they were nothing compared to his brother’s. Not for the first time, he was grateful he wasn’t the eldest child.

  There was a span of years between him and his older brother. For a long time, his parents believed he would be their only child. As such, his upbringing had been much stricter than Seok’s. From the time Baek could walk, the responsibility he owed to his father, grandfather, and the company they built from scratch, one that was now the leading importer of Canadian lumber into South Korea, had been hammered into his head.

  But unlike Seok, Baek Hyeon seemed content enough with his role. Certainly, he enjoyed the wealth it brought: fancy cars, watches. Gorgeous girls.

  Seok smiled, but hid it behind his hand when he thought about one of the few times he and Baek had the freedom to go out alone. That night he’d had a front row seat to his brother’s life. He knew his family was wealthy, but he’d never seen such a blatant display of that wealth.

  At the end of a night of clubbing, his brother had settled a bill nearing six million won. Their father would have a heart attack if he saw that. He’d been educated in South Korea, and besides that, he would never spend his money on something as stupid as champagne.

  Unless it was for his business associates. His pockets were deep when it came to his clients, not his children.

  Seok’s phone chirped and a photo of a gold watch appeared. He waited, certain his brother would explain the photo if he just waited.

  Patek Philippe.

  The name meant nothing to him.

  Grand Complicator.

  250. US dollars.

  Seok stared at his phone. “The captain has asked for all devices to be in airplane mode.” The flight attendant smiled at him, eyebrows raised.

  “Sorry.” Seok turned his phone off and slid it into his jacket pocket. Two hundred and fifty thousand American dollars. How much was his brother paid?

  He received an allowance every month, but it paid for books, clothes, eating out, a computer, his phone… Okay. So his allowance was nothing to scoff at, but this?

  Granted, Baek did much more work than Seok did. But what twenty-five-year-old had enough disposable income to buy that sort of luxury?

  They flew through the night, arriving in Canada midday. Once he made it through customs and through the gates at Saint Martin’s, Seok was ready to collapse.

  He’d been sitting down, but fourteen hours of travel had to be equivalent to a marathon or something.

  He struggled through the dorms, past deep leather sofas and stone walls with exposed beams, to his suite and the three roommates he’d be spending the year with.

  Dylan McCabe, Jace Walters, Bai Wu.

  They weren’t guys Seok particularly liked, but they were nice enough and they could get along without drama.

  Suitcases stood outside doorways as if they’d been forgotten. Seok left his own outside his bedroom door. Tomorrow, the staff would arrive and put all of their things away. For right now, he had an overnight bag with toiletries for today and tomorrow.

  Food, clothes, all of that was on his list of requirements. He fell face down onto his bed and fell asleep.

  “Seok.” Someone flicked his ear and he waved his hand, swatting them away. “Seok.”

  He opened bleary eyes to find his roommate Dylan smiling down at him. “You missed Senior Start.”

  “I don’t care.” He’d known he would be arriving the same night as the traditional gathering of the senior class, and he’d know
n he’d probably be too tired to participate. Oh well. Had it been on purpose? Maybe he’d seen the date on the tickets and considered telling his father’s secretary to choose an earlier date. Or maybe he’d weighed the options of more time with his family against school fight songs and Saint Martin’s traditions and chosen the lesser of two evils.

  “You were nominated Class Secretary.”

  “Pass,” he muttered, turning on his side. He drew the sheets up over his ears and squeezed his eyes shut. Take the hint.

  Dylan pushed his head into the pillow. “Your hair looks stupid.”

  Snorting, Seok opened his eyes. He dyed his hair when he got to school, but before every holiday, he dyed it his natural color. Once—only once—had he appeared in front of his father with dyed hair. Nothing was worth the lecture on responsibility and family loyalty that came after it.

  It was easier to pretend he was someone else around his family.

  “Shut up.” He smiled at Dylan and sat up, raking his hands through the inky black strands.

  “What are you thinking? Senior class made bets. They want Saint Martin’s colors.”

  “Like I’m some kind of mascot?” He pushed the covers back and stood. God. He needed a shower and food—wash the stink of travel off him.

  “No,” Dylan dragged the word out. “They made Shipley the mascot. Obviously.” He rolled his eyes and went to the door. “Get ready. We’re waiting for you, and then we’ll go to the mess hall.”

  Hmm. It sounded suspicious to Seok, but he’d been at this school for four years, and he knew what senior year looked like—pranks, drinking, more pranks.

  It was probably safest to stick together. He didn’t want to be run up the flagpole like one of the seniors last year.

  Grabbing clothes and toiletries, he hurried into the bathroom and took care of business. As he brushed his teeth, however, he paused. His hair did look stupid. He’d completely transformed from the person he had been last year to this version of Seok his father demanded. There was nothing individual about him. He had the same hairstyle as every intern at his father’s company. Same wan, drawn, tired, put-upon look.

  He spat and shook his head. There were nine months before he had to return to that world. For now, he’d enjoy his freedom.

  Chapter 6

  Seok: Present

  Nora’s fingers grazing his scalp lulled him into sleepiness. Sunshine poured in from the open window. It was still cold outside, but the sun was warm, so he pushed the blanket down to his waist.

  “We should get up soon.”

  Nora groaned and squeezed him a little tighter. At some point, he wasn’t sure when, she’d become the big spoon. Placing a kiss between his shoulder blades, she released him.

  “They could be back any minute.”

  Seok and his best friends shared Nora, but the last thing he wanted was one of them to open his door and find them, naked and sated, in his bed.

  This was just for him and Nora.

  He rolled and propped his head on his hand, watching her dress. Her body was thinner, lither than it had ever been before, but damn was she gorgeous.

  She wobbled a little bit as she stuffed one leg into her jeans and sat back on the mattress with a huff. “Annoying.”

  He scooted forward to kiss her neck. He loved her hair like this, short curls bounding up all around her head. It left the clean lines of her neck and shoulders visible, and when she turned in profile… Seok could have kissed his fingers like an Italian chef—beautiful.

  “You’re getting stronger every day,” he reminded her. And she fought hard for it. He could count on one hand the number of times she took a break from therapy. It was only on the iciest, coldest days that she didn’t make a trek down the block and back.

  “It’s so slow.” Nora stood and turned around, hands on her hips. “I want to be better like—” she snapped her fingers.

  The expression on her face. Seok had to laugh. Nose all scrunched up, eyebrows drawn down low, she looked like a pissed off puppy.

  But another image popped into his head and it stifled the laughter immediately. Nora. Quiet. Injured. Unwakeable.

  “We’re lucky that you speak and walk.” He hadn’t meant to say that out loud, but it was the truth. There was a period of time where none of them had been sure that they’d get her back.

  She leaned over and kissed him, her lips a gentle pucker on his. “I know.”

  Straightening, she went to the window and looked outside. “I love how today feels. It’s almost like summer. Just a taste of it. I forgot how quiet the winter could be. But today, with the music and traffic and birds, it feels like something good is right around the corner.”

  “Even with all the shit I just laid at your feet?”

  He stood and buttoned the jeans he’d pulled on while she waxed poetic.

  “Yes.” She faced him and crossed her arms. “Maybe because of it. Do you know how hard it is sometimes not to be on the inside? The five of you have a bond, not one I’m jealous of, I don’t mean it like that, but you don’t need to explain things. You don’t have to cut yourselves wide open to each other—”

  He cut her off. “Because we have already done it. We were, all of us, messes in the beginning.”

  She shook her head. “To hear Ryan and Matisse and Cai talk about you, it sounds as if you’ve always had your shit together.”

  “I just hid it better.” Fuck. What was it about today and saying all the things he should just be running through his head?

  Downstairs, a door slammed, and a voice boomed through two floors. “Nora! Seok!”

  She smiled at him. “We’ll talk more. I know that this is hard, but you can’t know what it means for you to confide in me.”

  Secrets.

  He remembered what it was like when he was the one on the outside and how he’d been blindsided when all the demons and skeletons his family had hidden escaped.

  Chapter 7

  Nora

  Nora trailed after Seok as he led the way downstairs. She had to be a little more careful than him. No longer could she skip without worry. Her balance was still off, and so she had to hold tight to the railing. The last thing she needed was to twist an ankle, or bruise her ass, in a fall.

  The guys weren’t in the living room when they got downstairs. In fact, once Apollo had called out his greeting, the house had become eerily silent.

  “Outside,” Seok said when they found the dining room and kitchen empty as well.

  Next to the kitchen was a small indoor porch. In the old days when the house was first built, it might have been a pantry, but now it had a sliding glass door that led to the tiny backyard. Sure enough, Apollo, Matisse, Cai, and Ryan were there, sitting in plastic Adirondack chairs and facing the weak spring sun.

  “I hate this door,” Seok said as he opened the slider.

  “Why?” she asked, stepping onto the porch. The others heard them. Each wore matching smiles and excitement welled up in her stomach. Those smiles were for her. They were happy. She made them happy.

  “It doesn’t fit the rest of the house.” He closed the slider after her and didn’t elaborate.

  Cai held his hand out as she got to the gray wooden steps that led to the yard. “Careful.”

  That was the way of it now. Be careful. Go slow. Take your time. She didn’t mean to sound ungrateful. She was alive and lucky to be that way. But damn, it was frustrating not to do exactly what she wanted when she wanted to do it. Like right now. It was a two-foot drop to the ground. Before her accident, she would have skipped the steps entirely, but now she couldn’t be certain of her balance. And though the ground was soft, she had no desire to stain one of her two pairs of jeans.

  Cai didn’t let her go when her feet were firmly planted. He dragged her to one of the chairs and pulled her down so she sat in his lap.

  His lips grazed her neck. “You smell good.”

  Eyes popping open, she stared at Seok. He lifted his eyebrows in question, but how could sh
e ask if she smelled like sex when she was sitting in Cai’s lap?

  These were the things people never thought about when they fantasized about having more than one boyfriend. If they did at all.

  “Did you find what you needed?” she asked Matisse.

  “Yeah.” He squinted against the sun to study the house. “I’m going to have to get up on the roof to run some cable. Seok—will it hold me?”

  The other man scoffed. “I fixed that roof myself. It will hold a lightweight like you.”

  “I’m going to need Apollo’s help, too.” Matisse’s voice held a laughing note, but Nora couldn’t be sure he was totally joking.

  “No way,” Apollo interjected. “I’m not climbing up there. You want to risk your neck, go ahead.”

  “It’s not risky,” Matisse retorted. “Look…” He pointed one long, pale finger at the eaves. “We’ll run the wire along there. It will take half a day. If you don’t want to go up, you can hold the ladder and pass me materials.”

  “Perfect,” he said, “I’ll do that.”

  Seok went around the corner of the house and came back dragging another chair. He placed it at the edge of their little half-circle and sat.

  Beneath her, Cai tensed. He rubbed slow circles on her back before drawing her to lay against him more fully. “Hey. What’s going on?”

  Seok had run his hands through his hair, but dropped them after Cai spoke. He pushed his hands down his thighs, dragging them back and forth along his jeans. “Yeah…” he began, and then, “No. I—uh—I’ve been getting calls from back home.”

  If it was possible for Cai to get tenser, then that was what happened. He turned to stone. A Cai statue.

  “Who?” Matisse was the one who spoke first. “When?”

  “I have a better question,” Ryan interrupted. “Why?”

  Oh my god. Nora nearly laughed though it wasn’t funny at all. The other guys obviously had some background on Seok she didn’t, but their recitation of wh-questions was ridiculous. Ryan cut a look toward her, then quickly away and it was her turn to freeze.