Black Love

by Brenda Hampton

  “Nice guy,” Nate said. “You should call him.”

  “In case you forgot, I’m married, okay? Happily married at that.”

  “If you weren’t married would you call him?”

  “Nope.”

  “Stop lying, Monai. You were interested in him. I could see it in your eyes. Tell me you didn’t feel anything for him.”

  In this situation, it was difficult to hide anything from Nate. “Okay, he was cute. He reminded me so much of you, and when he mentioned his mother, I thought of you. With that being said, I’m married. You’re stuck with me and that’s the truth.”

  “I accept that, but you really should call him. He’s a good man. Has his own construction business and he’s not married. I don’t know how many kids he has yet, but I can let you know real soon.”

  I stopped the car at the light and turned my head. “How do you know all of this? This is making me so crazy, and for the last time, no thank you. I don’t need to know anything else about him.”

  Nate didn’t say anything. When I arrived at the police station, he made it clear that he wasn’t going inside with me.

  “You’re on your own,” he said. “I’m going to stay right here with my hands behind my head and wait for you. Again, you’re wasting your time.”

  I cut my eyes at him and got out of the car. My meeting inside of the police station was very productive. I’d met with the same officers who were on the scene that night, and I re-read the statement I’d given them. It was clear. This was no self-defense case, and even though I had mentioned Nate had approached us, I made it clear that Demetrious threw the first punch. I also mentioned, again, that Demetrious was the one who drove up to us and started blasting bullets. My story hadn’t changed, and the officers kind of indicated this was an open and shut case. Before I left, I questioned why I hadn’t heard anything from the prosecutor.

  “He’ll be in touch with you soon,” said the officer. “We have your phone number and address, and we’ll make sure he gets it again.”

  I was pleased to hear this, and I was so excited when I returned to the car to share the good news with Nate. He still wasn’t buying it.

  “Can we not talk about this anymore,” he said. “You already have your mind made up and you’re not listening to anything I’m telling you.”

  “I hear you, trust me I do. But there is no way Demetrious is going to walk. I would bet my life on it.”

  “Please don’t say that, and let it go. I have nothing else to say about it. All I want to do is go to your doctor’s appointment with you and hear some good news.”

  I crossed my fingers, hoping that I would hear some good news too.

  Nate

  Chapter Twelve

  We arrived at Monai’s doctor’s appointment thirty minutes later. The last time she was here, she’d had a thorough examination and some blood work done. Some of her results came back, and needless to say, it wasn’t good news.

  “The baby is not growing,” said the doctor as he stood next to Monai who was on the examination table. “I’m afraid you won’t be able to carry your baby to full term.”

  Monai stared at the doctor with tears at the rims of her eyes. This was yet another blow to us.

  “What do you mean by the baby isn’t growing? I still have plenty of time left. Of course she’s small right now, but you have to give her time to grow.”

  “We’ve run plenty of tests and we know exactly where the baby should be at this stage. She hasn’t grown . . .”

  Monai quickly cut him off. “I don’t give a damn what you say. This baby is a blessing to me! My husband and I are looking forward to—” she paused and more tears started to flow.

  I was standing right next to her, so I reached for her hand and rubbed it. “There’s nothing we can do,” I said. “I saw this coming, but I was afraid to tell you.”

  She pounded her leg and wiped her tears. “Why didn’t you tell me?” she shouted. “You got my hopes up and made me keep this baby! Now you’re saying something different!”

  The doctor looked at her with confusion on his face. “I . . . I don’t know what’s going on here, but are you okay?”

  “No. No I’m not okay and I don’t want to be here any longer! I’m leaving!”

  She snatched the gown off and started to put on her clothes. The doctor stood with a pitiful look on his face; obviously, he felt bad about this too.

  “Unfortunately, Monai, you need to have more tests done. Today, if possible. You could lose your baby soon, and it may be best if we just terminate the pregnancy. I don’t want you to lose hope, okay? You and your husband can always try again. I’ve seen this happen before to couples, and they wound up having several healthy babies after this.”

  Monai buttoned her jeans and barked at the doctor, as if all of this was his fault. “Thanks for the advice, but I can’t have another baby! It can’t happen because my husband is de—” she paused then ran out of the room. The doctor called after her, but Monai didn’t calm down until she got in the car. With tears streaming down her face, she pounded her leg again.

  “Why does this shit keep happening to me? What did I do to deserve losing everyone I love? Hell, yes, I made some bad choices, but does it have to resort to this? This is so horrible. I wanted our child, and I thought our family would now be complete!”

  I felt her pain. I understood exactly how she felt, but life was full of ups, downs and all arounds. No one was exempt. Not one single person, and whether Monai wanted to accept it or not, this was her chosen journey.

  “I know you’re upset, but listen to me and don’t be mad at me for saying this to you. The real reason you want to keep the baby is because you want to hang on to a part of me. That’s perfectly fine, Monai, and I appreciate you for making the right decision. But I don’t know if you were ready to be a mother. You barely even mention the baby, and you don’t even talk to me about her. I’m the one who brings her up all the time. I don’t know what’s wrong, but I sense that the timing of all of this is way off for you. You’re trying to deal with what happened to me, and having the baby may prove to be too much.”

  She sat silent for a while and listened. After I was done, she confessed how she really felt.

  “I do want the baby, just so I can hold on to you. I don’t know when all of this is coming to an end, and having your child would mean so much to me. Still, this has been a lot for me to swallow. I’ve been on edge lately. I feel so unstable. Very unstable. I can’t explain why I even believe we are carrying on like this. Sometimes it feels so real, other times, I feel like I’m dreaming. If I am dreaming, I don’t want to wake up. Waking up will mean losing you. I don’t want to lose you, so I’d rather stay sleep.”

  “You’re not dreaming, okay? The only reason I can’t tell you how all of this is going to turn out is because I don’t know. Not now, anyway, but as soon as everything is revealed to me, I will reveal it to you.”

  Monai didn’t seem satisfied with my response, and for the next few days, she hadn’t said much to me at all. That was until I had asked her to go on a date with the man she’d met at the gas station or invite him to come over. She tore into me like I’d asked her to go somewhere and kill herself.

  “Will you stop trying to get rid of me,” she shouted. “Whether you approve of it or not, I’m still pregnant with your child. Why would you want me to go on a date with another man?”

  “Because, there are times that I don’t want you to continue living like this. You may have to let me go, and I want you with someone who can be good to you. Don’t you understand that?”

  “No, I don’t. But if you want me to go be with another man, I will. When I stop spending time with you, please don’t be mad.”

  She charged out of the room and came back with the man’s business card in her hand. With her cell phone in her hand, she dialed his number. He quickly answered.

  “Hi, Harris, this is Monai. I met you at the gas station the other day, and I was just calling to
see if your mother had won the lottery.”

  He laughed and answered. “As a matter of fact, she didn’t. She was upset with me too, but I told her I hoped to hear from the young lady who picked those horrible numbers for her.”

  Monai smiled. I could sense that she was happy about their conversation. “I’m sorry about that. Maybe next time, huh?”

  “Maybe so. But in the meantime, what about dinner? I still want to take you to dinner, whenever you have time. Do you have any time available this evening?”

  Monai hesitated to answer.

  “Please go,” I said.

  “Sure. What time and where would you like to meet?”

  “What’s your favorite restaurant?”

  “Chipotle.”

  “Then Chipotle it is. I’ll meet you at the one on . . . let’s say Hanley Road. Is that okay?”

  “That’s fine. See you then.”

  Monai hit the end button and sighed. “I’m only doing this for you,” she said.

  Like always, I didn’t respond.

  Monai

  Chapter Thirteen

  I was glad that I didn’t have to get dressed up for this stupid date, nor was I in the mood for it, especially since I’d gotten the horrific news about the baby. Nate had forced me to do this, and to be honest, I really didn’t know why. It kind of hurt my feelings too. I felt like he was trying to get rid of me. If I was content with the way things were, why wasn’t he?

  Regardless, I drove to the restaurant with a complete attitude on display. Nate kept teasing me while in the car.

  “Smile. You look so much prettier when you smile and I love the outfit you’re wearing.”

  “I don’t feel like smiling, and all I’m wearing are jeans and a simple shirt. It’s nothing to rave about.”

  “To me it is. And Harris will appreciate the way you look. By the way, he has one child from his previous marriage. His wife divorced him because his finances weren’t in order at the time. Now that he’s successful, she’s been trying to wiggle her way back in. Just so you know, he’s not having it. He really likes you, and he’s been thinking about you more than I do sometimes.”

  “Yeah, right. I’m sure all he’s thinking about is sex. And I don’t care how much you try to convince me to do it, it’s not happening, okay?”

  “You don’t know what’s going to happen. Just relax, be yourself and see what’s up. That’s all I’m asking you to do.”

  Since I was already late, I sped up to get to Chipotle. The moment I arrived, Harris was already there. He was dressed in jeans too, with a short sleeve, button-down shirt. His waves were neatly lined and his goatee made my thoughts travel to Nate again. He was slightly bigger than Nate was, and his feet were huge.

  “I see you looking at his feet,” Nate said. “Trust me, that don’t mean a thing.”

  “Will you be quiet,” I whispered as I made my way over to the table, smiling. Harris stood to greet me.

  “Thank you so much for coming,” he said. “I was surprised to hear from you.”

  “Well, I’ve been a little busy. I intended to call when I had time.”

  He pulled the chair back for me to take a seat.

  “I’ll go get us something to eat,” Harris said. “What would you like?”

  “A rice and chicken bowl will be fine. Just a little sour cream, some cheese and lots of lettuce.”

  “Got it. Anything to drink?”

  “Water will be fine. Thank you.”

  Harris walked away and I observed him from head to toe. It was as if he was a near replica of Nate; I was confused about how I’d met someone who was so identical to him.

  “Stop wondering so much,” Nate said. “You simply have good taste in men, and even though Demetrious is an asshole, he isn’t a bad looking brother.”

  Just as he’d said those words, another man walked into Chipotle with a white sweat suit on. He was rather cute too, and I glimpsed at him for just a moment. He looked at me too and smiled.

  “Don’t waste your time,” Nate said. “And don’t you dare let Harris see you looking at another man. He’s broke as shit, has multiple women and don’t even take care of his kids. You don’t need to waste your time with someone like him, and ignore his dire need to get your attention.”

  The man was working hard to get my attention, but I ignored him. When Harris came back to the table, all of my attention was focused on him.

  “There you go, Miss Lady.” He put my food in front of me; I thanked him again.

  As Harris and I ate, we kicked up a good conversation. Our conversation flowed so well that I had forgotten Nate was sitting there with us. I honestly didn’t know if he was still there, but when I went to the ladies room to wash my hands, I whispered his name.

  “What?” Nate said in a nasty tone.

  “Why haven’t you said anything to me? Are you jealous or something?”

  He laughed. “Not at all. I was only kidding. I didn’t say anything because I want you to enjoy yourself. You seem to be enjoying the conversation.”

  I shrugged my shoulders. “He’s nice, but he’s not you.”

  “Nope, but I’m an original, baby. You will never find a man better than me, but you’re getting close.”

  I loved Nate so much. God I missed him. “Close, huh? If so, tell me what you really think about him. He kind of talks too much to me, and the only thing I noticed that I didn’t like were his eyebrows. They’re a little too bushy for my taste.”

  “Woman, if you don’t stop your foolishness and get back out there, I’mma hurt you. To hell with his brows. If that’s all you can find to complain about, shame on you.”

  “I know, but last question, okay? What about the baby, Nate? We haven’t talked much about her. What do you think I should do?”

  “Nothing. It’s already taken care of and I don’t want you to worry.”

  He never gave me definitive answers. But I would soon give him one. Even though I enjoyed Harris’ company, no one would ever come between me and Nate again. This was fun while it lasted, but it was my intentions to never call Harris again.

  Chapter Fourteen

  I had been in and out of Monai’s house, trying to handle things that were transpiring without her knowledge. I had some more upsetting news to share with her, but before I did, I wanted us to have a wonderful evening together. As she was in the bedroom watching TV, I sat close to her. I blew on her ear to get her attention and placed my hand over hers.

  “Say, beautiful. Why don’t you go get two glasses of wine, turn off the TV and put on some soft music so we can hold each other and dance.”

  She smiled and immediately turned off the TV. “I see someone is in a romantic mood tonight. After I go get the wine, what are we going to toast to?”

  “Go get it and you shall see.”

  Monai got off the bed, and with a silk pajama top on, she went to the kitchen to get our wine and glasses. I regretted what I had to tell her, but it was time. She needed to know the truth, but first, I wanted to enjoy my evening with her. I didn’t know how she was going to handle the news; a huge part of me was afraid to tell her.

  Minutes later, she returned to the bedroom with two flute wineglasses in her hand. She poured some bubbly champagne for me and her glass was filled with milk. Obviously, she still had hopes that our baby would somehow survive. She placed one glass on the nightstand and held the other one in her hand. Once I told her I was sitting on the edge of the bed, she kneeled between my legs and held the glass in front of her.

  “Now,” she said. “What shall we drink to?”

  “To us, Mrs. Reynolds,” I said. “When it comes to love, we defined what it means to have eternal love. I have enjoyed every moment with you, and since I’ve been on the outside looking in, you have exemplified everything I’ve ever wanted my wife to be. At first, I thought you held on to this relationship out of pity. Now, I know that you really and truly loved me and that you continue to love me. And even though I was jealous when I saw yo
u get all hot and bothered over another man, I still know where your heart is.”

  With a glassy film covering her eyes, Monai responded. “Yes, my dear. Eternal love for sure. I’m enjoying myself too, and I feel our marriage getting stronger and stronger each day. We’re going to handle this situation with the baby together and deal with it. I’m counting on you to continue to be here for me, no matter what happens. More than anything, I’m glad that you now know how much I truly love you. And even though Harris was one handsome devil, I would never ever trade you for him. So, yes, we can drink to us. Forever and ever, it’s just you and me.”

  “Are you sure about that?” I asked as she sipped milk from the glass. “Are you really ready for this to be about just you and me? I mean, I think you should call Harris again and set up another date. I’m telling you he’s a good person and he will take good care of you. Probably even better than I would’ve been able to do, but the choice is ultimately yours. I don’t want you to continue this, just to have love by any means necessary. So many people go that route and wound up hurting themselves. Do you really feel in your heart that this is the route you want to continue to go?”

  She placed the glass on the nightstand and looked where she envisioned my face was. “I’ve made my choice. I choose you and nothing else needs to be said. Now get up and dance with me. I’m going to put on some Maxwell, and I want you to show out for me tonight.”

  “I show out for you every night, don’t I?”

  We both laughed. She dimmed the lights, cranked up the music and removed her clothes. While standing naked, I stood in front of her. Our bodies were as close as they could get and as we crooned the lyrics while moving from side-to-side, I loved every bit of this.

  “You smell delicious, Mrs. Reynolds. Rep your name, baby, and add a little dip to your movements.”