by Elena Aitken
Her eyes widened, but she didn’t say anything for a moment. Instead, she nodded slowly. “Can I try it?”
Of all the questions he’d been expecting her to ask, that wasn’t one of them.
“I mean…I—”
“Of course.” He recovered from the unexpected question and moved quickly before he changed his mind. “Come on.” Logan ducked through the rails and stood on the other side of the fence. When Amber didn’t move right away, he held out his hand for her and guided her through as well.
“There’s really nothing too it,” he said as they approached Chester. “He’s a good boy and loves to be patted. Start slow with him and maybe just talk to him for now.”
They stopped in front of the horse, who nuzzled Logan’s hand in greeting.
“What do I say?”
“Whatever you want.” Logan smiled. “Chester here is a great listener. And don’t worry about me. I’ll be over there.” Logan pointed to the other side of the ring where Peanut was hanging out. “It’s just the two of you.”
Amber nodded and Logan couldn’t help but notice how apprehensive she was. Gone was the tough-girl act. She actually seemed to be open to the hocus-pocus, even if it was fleeting. It was a very big step.
Just as he promised, Logan left her alone with the horse. He did his best to be unobtrusive as he talked to Peanut and moved her around the back half of the ring. But he couldn’t help but notice Chester’s mild noises of protests, and when he snuck a glance in their direction, the way both woman and horse stood stiffly, staring at each other. The horse was definitely picking up on something in Amber, and if he had to guess, it was a whole lot more than merely her skepticism. Logan had no idea what it was that Amber needed to work out, but it was clear that it was something big.
Chapter Six
It was almost a week after their play date in the park. Christy had changed her mind on which outfit baby Mya should wear for her photoshoot at least four times, so before Cam arrived with her camera, she simply laid out all her choices and waited for her friend to help her make the decision.
“Nothing,” Cam said without even looking at Christy’s carefully selected choices. “A newborn baby shoot is best done with just the birthday suit. Except for maybe that beautiful blanket your mom crocheted. And I have a few little accessories,” she added.
“But Mya’s already almost two months old. She’s not totally a newborn. Will it still work the same way? I should have done it sooner.” She rubbed her forehead. “Did I totally screw this up and miss an important milestone?”
“Oh my goodness, Christy. Not at all.” Cam smiled and bent to put a soft kiss on the baby’s forehead. “There aren’t many new moms who can get organized enough in the first week or two of having a baby to get photos done. This is the perfect age and you are well within the time frame of newborn. She’s perfect.”
“She is pretty perfect, isn’t she?” Christy glowed and focused on the baby, who never failed to make her heart flip. She’d waited so long for the dream of motherhood to come true. So long that she didn’t think it actually would ever happen. And then it had, in the most unexpected way.
After so many years of it just being her and Mark, her high school sweetheart, their family was finally complete when one of Mark’s patients, a teenage mother who was in way over her head, offered her baby girl up for adoption. The last few weeks had been a whirlwind and Christy was both exhausted and completely overwhelmed. She’d also never been happier.
“She’s amazing,” Cam agreed. “And she’ll be a total star in her very first photo shoot. Are you ready to get started?”
“We better,” Christy said. “Before she gets fussy.”
As it turned out, Cam was right and Mya was a complete star for her first photo shoot. They moved her into a number of cute positions, each one more adorable than the next. And Mya didn’t fuss one time. In fact, she finally fell asleep and Christy’s heart almost completely melted as Cam caught the final few shots with her baby wrapped up tight in a cocoon with one perfect daisy lying next to her.
An hour later, with Cam’s equipment tucked away, and Mya sleeping soundly in her bassinet, the two women sat at the kitchen table, sipping tea.
“I can’t believe you’re ready to do a gig tomorrow already,” Cam said to her friend. “Have you even had time to rehearse since Mya’s come along?”
Christy smiled. There was one thing she enjoyed talking about more than her little family and that was her brand-new singing career. “The guys have been great,” she said. “I’ve been writing songs faster than I thought possible. I mean, there’s a lot of time in the middle of the night when I’m up with Mya feeding her and rocking her back to sleep.”
Cam laughed. “I never would have thought of that as productive time.”
“It’s not for much more than composing in my head,” Christy agreed. “But maybe there’s something about the middle of the night, for me. I don’t know. But whatever it is, the words are just coming to me and as soon as I get the guys the songs, Josh puts it to music and they start rehearsing. I’ve only been able to join them a few times, but I think we’re ready to showcase some of our new stuff. Besides, we’re hoping to record a live demo that we can shop out to a few agents on the coast.”
“Wow.” Cam shook her head and took another sip of her tea. “You really do amaze me. And I, for one, cannot wait to hear you perform again. I think we’re all going to be there.”
“Even Drew?” Just like the others, Christy was worried about her friend. Not that anyone expected her to be able to bounce back from the devastation of losing her husband, so quickly. But Christy would be lying if she said she hadn’t missed Drew’s smile and the light that was normally so present in her eyes.
“She said she was coming,” Cam said. “And I have a feeling that Amber will make it happen.”
Christy laughed. Amber was a force to be sure, but her laughter died when she thought about her friend and how she, too, didn’t seem to be quite right. “Have you noticed anything strange with Amber lately?”
Cam sipped her tea and didn’t answer right away. “Besides the fact that she’s not working?”
“You’re right,” Christy agreed. “That’s strange enough. But there’s something else. She hasn’t been quite right since she was here for the reunion party, don’t you think?”
Cam thought about it for a minute. “You might be right. I guess I just thought it was because she wasn’t working. I don’t think Amber actually knows how to take a vacation. Do you think she’s going to go back to work?”
Christy shrugged. “She hasn’t said anything to me about it but then again, I haven’t asked. I was actually going to see if she might help Mark and me put together a will.” She glanced toward the sleeping baby. “I mean, now that we have Mya, if anything were to happen…”
“I totally get it.” Cam nodded. “I’ve been meaning to get mine updated, too. Maybe I’ll wait until…” Her hand rubbed her stomach, which was starting to bulge in the cutest way. Christy felt that old familiar pain of jealousy that she’d likely never carry her own child, but it was short-lived. Things changed. And so did the way she felt about them.
“Do you think she’ll mind?” Christy asked. “I mean, I’ll pay her. But I don’t want to assume that…well, I don’t want to assume anything. It’s just so strange…” She let the thought trail off and shook her head to clear it.
“I totally get it,” Cam agreed. “I mean, we’ve all changed a lot over the years, but I didn’t think Amber would ever change so much that she’d leave her job. I mean, that’s just not normal. It’s almost like there’s a—”
“Reason,” Christy finished for her. “There has to be a reason.”
The conversation changed and drifted away from their friend, but Christy couldn’t shake it. It was no secret that she’d been wrapped up in her own life for the last little while, but that didn’t mean that she planned to ignore what was going with Amber forever. There was defi
nitely a reason Amber had left her job and moved back home. She had no idea what it could be, but she knew Amber, and that meant it had to be one very good reason.
And she was going to find out what it was.
The next night, the Log and Jam was packed by the time Amber and Drew walked through the front doors. Amber hadn’t worried about getting there early to save seats because Christy had promised reserved seating right up front. She said it was because she wanted to make sure there were friendly faces in front of her in case her new songs tanked, but from what Amber heard, Timber Heart wouldn’t have any problem with the crowd. In the short time they’d been performing together, they already had a small but loyal fan base. There wouldn’t be any disappointed fans in the audience tonight, Amber was sure of it.
“I can’t believe how busy it is in here.” Drew twisted to the side to squeeze past a group of men. “Ben must be run off his feet tonight.”
Ben Ross, the owner of the Log and Jam and an old classmate of theirs. He also happened to be Drew’s brother-in-law, and unbeknownst to Drew, had held onto a fierce crush for her back in the day. But that was before Eric had asked her out and she’d started happily dating his older brother. To Amber’s knowledge, Drew had never found out about Ben’s crush. Not that it mattered anymore. That was an entire lifetime ago.
“There he is.” Amber raised her arm in the air and waved to Ben at the bar. “Let’s go say hi.”
Drew nodded and led the way. “Hey. It’s crazy in here.” She had to yell to be heard.
“I know, right?” Ben shook his head, but he was in his element. The Log and Jam had been a huge success from the moment he opened. Ben had captured the right mixture of small-town charm with the decor of antiques and rustic wood finishing, combined with excellent food, delicious drinks, and even better service. “I wish I could take all the credit. But this town loves Timber Heart.”
“This town loves you, too.” Drew reached across the bar and squeezed Ben’s hand. Amber didn’t miss the sad smile he gave her in return, but she didn’t seem to notice.
“I’m glad you got her out of the house,” he said to Amber instead. “Drew needs something to smile about. And I think I can help by getting you lovely ladies some drinks.”
“Nothing for me.” Amber waved her hand. “I’ll be happy with a soda water.”
“Glass of white for me, please, Ben.”
“I’ll bring it out to you. Are you sure, Amber?”
She nodded. There had been a few comments on the fact that she wasn’t drinking much lately, and it wasn’t that she felt pressure to partake; it was more that she didn’t want to have to explain her choices to her friends. How could she tell them that sometimes when she had a few glasses of wine, she felt the familiar tug in her brain to follow it up with an Adderall to clear the fuzziness? The uppers and downers had started to swim together for her at the end, and one or two glasses of wine wasn’t worth risking any of the old feelings. Especially when she was already feeling anxious.
It had been a few days since she’d been out to Blackstar Ranch, where she’d been so determined to confront the people in charge. Instead, she’d met Logan and instead of confronting him, she’d surprised herself by letting him show her what he actually did there. More to her surprise, she’d tried it.
Amber had been out with the horse on her own for what felt like only a few minutes, but there was no denying that something had happened while she stood there with Chester. She felt something…shift. She couldn’t even put it into words and it sounded so ridiculous to think that just talking to a horse had made her feel anything at all, especially to her black-and-white brain. But even so, the feeling had stayed with her all week. She couldn’t stop thinking about it and it had left her a little unsettled.
“Amber?”
She blinked hard and Drew came back into focus.
“Are you ready to sit down?”
Amber nodded and made herself smile. If she was going to have a good time with her friends, she needed to stop thinking about her own troubles for a little bit and focus on them. Especially Drew. It was the first social outing she’d made since Eric died, and even though she didn’t want to make a big deal out of it, Amber knew it was. “Of course,” she said. “Let’s go see who’s here.”
Without waiting for a response, Amber took Drew’s hand and led her toward the front of the bar and the stage where the instruments had been set up and were ready for the band. The table in front held a reserved sign and Mark, Christy’s husband, was already seated, front and center.
“Hey.” He rose from his seat in greeting. “You made it.”
“Of course we did.” Amber squeezed Drew’s hand. She wasn’t going to say anything about how only an hour before, Drew had tried to change her mind about going out. “We wouldn’t miss it.” They took their seats across from Mark. “I’ve been looking forward to this since I heard Christy was singing again. Who’s watching the baby?”
Mark launched into a story about how reluctant Christy had been to leave Mya with both grandmothers, who were doing double-duty. He smiled and laughed about how hard it had been for his wife to say good-bye for a few hours, but Amber could see the love radiating out of him.
What would it be like to have that too?
The thought hit her so unexpectedly, it took her off guard for a moment. But instead of completely dismissing the idea the way she had her entire life, she let it linger in her mind for a moment. It might not be too bad at all to have someone look at her the way Mark looked at Christy. To have a real man’s arms around her at night instead of just her steamy books to keep her company.
No, the thought wasn’t half bad. Not at all.
“Hey.” Drew snapped her fingers in front of Amber’s face. “I thought I was supposed to be the one who’s all out of it tonight?”
Guilt immediately flashed through Amber but she recovered quickly. “Well, A…you’re not supposed to be out of it at all tonight. You’re supposed to have a good time with your friends and that’s just what you’re going to do.”
“And B?”
Amber blinked hard. “And B…well, B is that I was just wondering where everyone was.”
Drew gave her a look that made it clear that she didn’t believe her at all. Fortunately, before she could press, Mark spoke up.
“Cam and Evan should be here any minute. And Aaron and my running partner, Alicia, should be here soon, too.”
“That sounds like a setup?” Amber wiggled her eyebrows and Mark laughed.
“I’m pretty sure that Christy did all the setting up on that one. But we’ll see. I’m not sure what’s going on there.”
“It looks like we have more seats than that.” Drew pointed to the big table. “Are you expecting anyone else?”
Mark shrugged. “You never know, right? I put out the invite to a bunch of people, so I thought it best to keep a few extra spots just in case. I’m just so proud of her, you know? I couldn’t stop inviting people.”
Drew laughed. “We’re all so proud of her. I can’t blame you at all.”
After a few minutes, Ben arrived with their drinks, and when Cam and Evan showed up, followed closely by Aaron and Alicia—who Amber couldn’t help but notice sat next to each other—the conversations around them exploded in a cloud of noise.
But one person wasn’t joining in the chatter. “Hey.” Amber leaned close to Drew’s ear and squeezed her arm. “You okay?”
Drew nodded and blinked hard. “I just don’t know…I mean, how am I supposed to act?”
Amber’s heart broke a little bit more for her friend. “You just act however you want to,” she said. “You’re surrounded by people who love you and loved Eric. Life goes on, Drew. Eric knew that too. He’d want you to be here having fun and enjoying yourself. You know that. So you feel whatever it is you need to feel, but sweetie…try not to feel bad, okay? You’re not doing anything wrong.”
Drew nodded and pressed her lips up into a smile, but Amber saw the glim
mer of tears in her eyes. She squeezed her friend’s arm one more time as the band struck up and Christy’s voice came over the speakers.
Chapter Seven
It had been a long day and Logan was exhausted. He’d been called out with the volunteer fire department to respond to a car accident fire west of town, and although it only took a few hours to control the situation and get it cleaned up, it was hard work and the adrenaline rush, compounded after a day of working on the ranch, had left Logan ready for an early night.
But after he showered and was settled into the couch, scrolling through Netflix looking for something mindless he could lose himself in for a few hours, Logan just couldn’t settle his thoughts. Memories of Tina and her own accident on the highway outside of town flooded his mind.
It had been years since he’d replayed that night like a bad movie he couldn’t forget. Somehow time had lessened the vividness of it all, but after seeing the accident today, where thankfully everyone was okay and walked away, something had triggered for Logan.
If he’d gone with her that day on her trip to Seattle instead of begging off to spend a lazy day with his friends fishing, she wouldn’t have been driving alone on the highway late at night, rushing to get home to him instead of spending the night in the city the way she should have. Together, they would have gotten a hotel and she would have been cuddled in his arms instead of driving on that stretch of dark, lonely highway when she fell asleep at the wheel and drove her car into a tree. He should have been fast asleep next to her instead of answering the call on his cell phone that there’d been an accident.
Logan squeezed his head and jumped up from the couch. He couldn’t stay there. He was too tired to do anything else, but if he stayed home alone for one more minute, he was going to drive himself crazy with the memories and the guilt.