by Elena Aitken
But she hadn’t.
She ran.
Maybe it was for the best.
Autumn settled into Timber Creek and over the course of only a few weeks, the entire town had undergone a transformation. Pumpkins sat on every porch and decorations of skeletons, spiders and witch hats adorned the houses and storefronts as people prepared for the Halloween festivities that would take over the streets of Timber Creek in only a few days.
Drew and Amber had spent the majority of the day before decorating their little house with a mixture of store-bought decorations Drew’s parents had dropped off for them, and a collection of crafts that Austin had made at school. Despite the fact that Amber had never paid much attention to Halloween, she was starting to get into the spirit.
“Do you have a costume for Austin yet?” she asked Drew as she flipped through her phone. “Because I was thinking maybe we could go as a group costume.”
Drew looked up, her mouth hanging open. “A group costume? Does that mean you’ll be participating in Halloween this year?”
“Why wouldn’t I?” Amber pretended to be offended. “It’s Halloween and the whole town will be out. Why shouldn’t I go, too? It’ll be fun.”
“Will it?” Drew rolled her eyes.
“It will. Besides. I thought you liked Halloween.”
“I used to like a lot of things.” Her friend sounded so sad and defeated that Amber wasn’t sure how to respond. “It’s different now.”
“Maybe so,” Amber conceded. “But it doesn’t have to be bad different.” Drew’s head popped up from the crossword puzzle she was doing. “It doesn’t,” Amber said quickly before she lost her again. “It just has to be different. But it doesn’t mean that the fun should stop for Austin, right?”
Drew nodded slowly. “You’re right. And I know I need to think about him first and I do.” Amber smiled, because she knew it was true. “But some days I just don’t have it in me, ya know? I just don’t know how I’m going to be able to wake up day after day without Eric here and still be able to be a good mom and give him everything he needs. I just don’t know.” Tears streamed down her friend’s face but instead of rushing over to hug her, Amber simply slid Drew the box of tissues. She took them with a look of thanks. She didn’t like Amber to bring attention to her tears.
They sat quietly for a few moments before Drew finally slapped her hand down on the table. “You know what? You’re right. We do need costumes.”
Amber grinned as Austin walked into the room. “Hey, buddy.” She pulled him in for a hug. “Have you thought about what you want to be for Halloween?”
“Totally.” He wiggled out of Amber’s arms. “A superhero!” He crouched into a stance with his arms out. “Just like Dad.”
“Like Dad?”
Amber looked at Drew out of the corner of her eye.
“Yeah,” Austin said, his excitement growing. “Uncle Ben said that Dad was his hero because of what a good guy he was and how hard he fought the cancer bugs. And even though he didn’t win, he was still his hero.”
Amber felt her own tears threatening to spill over. She blinked hard.
“Uncle Ben said all that?”
“He did.” Austin jumped up and down with the enthusiasm only a child could have. “I wanna be a superhero just like Dad.”
Amber lost the battle of her tears and they fell down her face. She didn’t have to look at Drew to see the same thing was happening with her.
But it was Drew who regained her composure first. “I think it’s a great idea,” she said to Austin. “We should all be superheroes for Halloween. Do you think Uncle Ben would like to come, too?”
The day before Halloween, Amber found herself with a box of leftover decorations on the car seat next to her as she drove down the familiar streets to her father’s house. She’d only visited him once since the first time, and it hadn’t gone much better.
“What’s all this?” he said when he opened his door to her.
“Hi, Dad.” She held the box up. “I thought you might be able to use some decorations. Halloween is tomorrow.”
“I don’t decorate.”
He didn’t make a move to let her in, but Amber didn’t let that deter her. Her breakthrough with Chester hadn’t been a complete waste. Because, at the very least, she’d realized one thing quite clearly: all of her first opinions about equine therapy had been wrong. She might not be tripping over herself to go back there, but that wasn’t because she didn’t believe it worked. It was because she was afraid it did.
It wasn’t hocus-pocus. Which meant she owed her dad an apology.
“Let me put a few decorations up, Dad. I promise you won’t even notice but the kids in town will.”
His mouth turned down into a scowl, but he nodded and stepped aside. “Okay. But just a few. I’ll make coffee.”
That was as good of a welcome as she was going to get. And she’d take it.
Amber spent the next few minutes hanging a ghost wreath on the door and sticking some pumpkin decals on the front window. She finished up by hanging a skeleton from the tree in the yard before joining her dad in the kitchen, where they sat across from each other with cups of steaming coffee in front of them.
“Have you been busy, Dad?”
He nodded. “Been making lots of pens. I tried a new wood. Cherry. Turned out well.”
“I bet it did.” She held the mug in her hand, absorbing the warmth from it. “And have you been out to Blackstar lately?”
His eyes narrowed, as he prepared no doubt to defend himself against his opinionated daughter, but he nodded. “Down to once a week now. I usually get there on Wednesdays. My knees get achy in the cold. Imagine I won’t be able to keep it up much when the snow falls. You’ll be happy to hear that.”
Guilt seared through Amber and she shook her head. “It was never my intention to make you feel badly about volunteering at the ranch, Dad.”
“Wasn’t it?”
She sat back sharply, unaccustomed to his forthright attitude. “No,” she began and then corrected herself. “Well, maybe it was,” Amber admitted. “But that was before I understood what Logan was doing at the ranch.”
Her dad watched her warily. “And now?”
She could say something sharp or clever, but what was the point? Amber was exhausted. She’d done a good job pretending that she was still the same, cutthroat, sharp-tongued, overachieving woman she always was. But ever since coming clean with Logan weeks earlier, it had been harder and harder to pretend that everything was okay and nothing had changed. More than that, she didn’t want to anymore. There’d been a shift and with more than her thoughts. She hadn’t had a panic attack since that day at the ranch. Maybe being truthful about her life was more therapeutic than she could have expected.
“I’m sorry if I said anything negative about the ranch and the horses.” Amber looked up from her coffee and straight into her father’s eyes, which clouded with confusion as she spoke. Clearly he’d expected something different from her as well. “I shouldn’t have said anything until I knew what it was all about.”
“And now?” he asked again.
“Now I know,” she said simply. “I went to check it out.”
Her father tilted his head, waiting for her to say more, and for the first time, Amber noticed how old he looked. Her dad had always seemed to her to be an indestructible force that never aged. But now, looking at him, she could see the deep lines around his eyes, the subtle softening of his skin, and the thick head of hair that was definitely more gray now than it was brown.
“I think Logan’s doing good work out there.” She spoke truthfully. “And I think it’s really good that you’re doing some volunteering. I know you used to like horses when you were a kid.”
His eyes shone with surprise that she would even know something so personal about him, let alone remember it. But she did. There was a time when Amber was a little girl before her mother died, when things were simple and her dad used to tell her stories
of when he was a little boy growing up on a small farm. She’d never forgotten the way he’d get excited when he spoke of the horses and how it felt to sit up on their backs. The memories of those stories had faded over the years, but it made perfect sense as to why he wanted to volunteer at the ranch. She should have seen that right away.
And maybe she would have, too, if she hadn’t been so wrapped up in her own messed-up life.
“I didn’t realize you…”
“I did.” Emotion was hard for him; she didn’t need him to finish his thoughts. “I hope your knees don’t bother you too much and you can get out there and help Logan out. If you like, I can see about making you an appointment with Mark Thomas. Maybe he can prescribe something for the aches? And it would be good to get your blood pressure checked, too.”
They spoke for a few more minutes, with her dad refusing—as usual—to make a visit to his doctor. Finally, Amber decided to speak to Mark privately before pressing the issue of the appointment. She knew if the pain finally got to be too much, he’d relent. Amber finished her coffee and, satisfied with the visit, prepared to leave.
“Thanks for the coffee, Dad. I should get—”
“You’ve done well.”
She froze. Had he just paid her a compliment? For what?
“Pardon?”
“I said…” He looked as if he might say more, maybe elaborate on what he was talking about. She waited a beat and finally he grunted and said, “For the decorations. They look good.”
The decorations?
Amber paused before pushing up from the table and waited.
She stared at him for a minute, trying to process what he’d just said. When she was chosen as the valedictorian for her graduating class, or walked across the stage to receive her diploma, Amber had wanted nothing more than to hear those words from him. When she graduated from law school at the top of her class and received multiple job offers from reputable firms, once again, she’d waited in vain to hear those words.
But they never came.
And now…for decorations? They both knew it was more than that and that’s what broke Amber’s heart.
The irony that it was only now that she’d given him every reason to be ashamed of her that he finally said those words she’d so desperately wanted to hear was a sharp knife to her heart.
Somehow Amber managed to say her good-byes to her dad without completely falling apart in front of him and telling him everything so that he could take it all back. She hadn’t done well at all. It wasn’t until she was sitting in the front seat of her car, taking deep gulps of breath, that she let herself cry.
She’d ruined everything. And she had no idea how to fix it.
Chapter Ten
Logan could have said no. In fact, after the last few weeks that he’d had, being all but run off his feet between the clients Brent Baker sent to him and the mounting chores at the ranch, he probably should have said no. Joseph hadn’t been coming around as much lately due to the cooler weather and Logan hadn’t realized just how much he’d come to depend on the man’s visits. Either way, Logan was exhausted and no doubt no one would have blamed him if he’d begged off Halloween duty.
The Timber Creek fire department made it a tradition to volunteer at the annual town Halloween party. It was definitely one of the perks of being a volunteer firefighter, as far as Logan was concerned. He’d always loved Halloween.
What was not to love? Between the costumes and the candy and the fact that everyone in town participated and had a great time, it was one of the highlights of the year. The streets were shut down, there were portable fire pits, and kids ran all over the place.
Which was where the fire department came in. The local police and fire department teamed up to provide a security presence, control traffic, and just generally make sure everyone had a good time.
Logan didn’t even mind that it meant he couldn’t dress up in a costume of his own, opting instead for his official fire department jacket. This year, however, he had a bit of a surprise lined up for later on. Which was just one more reason why it didn’t matter how tired Logan was; there was no way he was going to miss the annual town Halloween party.
He grabbed a quick shower, made himself an easy sandwich, and headed into town. He’d been assigned the early shift, which mostly meant he spent a few hours setting up blockades before walking down the streets to inspect the fire pits many of the residents had put out on driveways and front lawns.
“Hey.” A voice grabbed his attention as he walked down the Main Street. He turned to see a woman he vaguely recognized. “You’re Logan,” the woman said. “Logan Myers, right?”
“I am.” He nodded and took a step toward the woman. “Do I know you?”
“Not really.” The woman nodded shyly. “I’m Kalen’s mom. He’s been coming out to your ranch. Doctor Baker suggested it.” She sounded tentative, as if she wasn’t sure but as she spoke, Logan realized where he’d seen the woman before: in the parking lot of Blackstar Ranch when she dropped her son off. She hung around the barns a little bit, but never actually went near the horses where Kalen was.
“Yes.” Logan smiled warmly. “I recognize you now. You know, you are welcome to come over to the barns or the fences and—”
“Oh no,” she cut him off. “I wouldn’t want to interrupt what Kalen’s doing. And you, too,” she added quickly. “I mean, I wouldn’t want to get in the way.”
“You wouldn’t.”
She shrugged uncertainly but Logan could see he wasn’t going to change her mind. “I just wanted to say thank you,” she said. “I wasn’t sure about the horses and when Doctor Baker suggested equine therapy for Kalen, well, I didn’t know what to expect but I guess I thought we didn’t have anything to lose, so…” She shrugged again and fell silent for a moment. “Anyway, I’ve been really surprised. I don’t know exactly what’s happening or how, but Kalen finally seems to be a little bit more himself again lately and I think I have you to thank for it.”
Excitement bloomed through him, but he did his best to stay calm and professional. Brent Baker had sent a handful of patients out to the ranch and although it was too soon for Logan to tell whether any of the equine therapy had been helping, he’d been hopeful. But maybe it wasn’t too soon to tell? Maybe…just maybe… “I’m so glad to hear that it’s helping,” Logan said. “Can I ask what kind of difference you’re seeing?”
The woman’s face lit up. “He’s smiling again,” she said. “And talking. I can’t tell you how long it’s been since I’ve seen that smile and now, in the last few weeks…” Unshed tears shone in her eyes. “Well, it’s just…” Spontaneously, she reached out and grabbed his hand. “Thank you. I know we still have a long way to go. He’s been sad for such a long time. But the horses have helped in a way that therapy never could. It’s like I can finally see an end to all of this. That maybe, I just might get my little boy back.”
It shouldn’t have surprised him. After all, Logan knew firsthand the impact equine therapy could have. The horses had allowed him to have the breakthrough that ultimately let him make his way back into the land of the living. But even though it shouldn’t have surprised him to hear that his horses were making a difference, it did. In all the best ways.
He could feel a swell of emotion build inside him. “I’m so happy to hear that, Mrs.…”
“Harmon,” she said. “Peggy Harmon. I don’t mean to keep you. I’m sure you’re busy tonight. I just saw you and thought…well, I just wanted to let you know that what you’re doing with those horses.” A tear slipped down her cheek. “It’s amazing. Thank you.”
The woman gave him one more smile before turning and walking down the street. She left Logan standing in the middle of the street, staring after her and feeling for the first time that all the late nights, long hours, and stress were finally all going to be worth it.
Kids were running all over the place and Amber could hardly keep up to Austin as he scurried from one house to the next, trick-or-
treating. Thankfully there was a group of them and Amber wasn’t solely responsible for the boy, who was way too hopped up on sugar and the excitement of the night for one person to handle alone.
Their little group made an awesome sight walking up and down the streets of Timber Creek. Drew, dressed as Mrs. Incredible, had come out for the night, a small thing that Amber was grateful for because sometimes it was just the littlest things that meant progress for her friend. True to his word, Ben had shown up earlier that night, dressed as a super authentic Batman. He’d spent most of his night running at Austin’s speed from door to door while the women hung back in the street and carried the extra candy bags as Austin continually filled them with his loot.
Amber had opted for a Wonder Woman costume, which, judging from all the little girls in red capes who’d been running past her all night, seemed to be one of the more popular costumes of the year. She was just happy that as a group, they were able to fulfill Austin’s superhero request. He himself had chosen Captain America, which he said reminded him the most of his dad. He’d jumped around the house with his plastic shield all afternoon before it was time to finally leave. Drew had been holding it since about the third house, but they’d managed to get some good pictures before he’d ditched his prop completely.
“This is nice,” Amber said as they moved farther down the street to keep up with the guys. “He’s having fun.”
“He’s having a great time.” Drew nodded. “Eric would have loved it.”
“Don’t be sad.” Amber spun around to face her friend. Aware that she really shouldn’t be telling her friend how to feel, she kept her voice light. “Not tonight. You know Eric wouldn’t want you to be sad on Halloween.”
“I’m not,” Drew lied. “Okay, well, I’m not as sad as I thought I’d be.” Amber gave her a look. “Honestly,” she insisted. “I thought I’d be a total mess. But this is actually…well, it’s kind of nice. Don’t you think?”