When We Began

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When We Began Page 20

by Elena Aitken


  He was surrounded by people, as the rest of the guests spilled out from the ceremony and gathered in the lobby to greet the happy new couple and toast them with champagne before the reception started. But Logan didn’t notice anything else except the woman he knew without a doubt that he was desperately in love with. It was torture not to go to her, but he’d told himself it had to be her choice. She had to be the—

  “Screw it.” He muttered the words and without letting himself think about it too much, he strode across the room and stood in front of her.

  “Excuse me, ladies. I really need to borrow Amber for a second.” He didn’t wait for an answer but took Amber’s hand in his and led her through the crowd out a side door.

  “Logan, what is…it’s freezing out here.”

  The sun was starting to go down, and the temperature was falling fast, but a thick cloud cover that meant impending snowfall kept it from being unbearably cold. “This won’t take long.” He turned to face her. “I just wanted to tell you…how gorgeous you look tonight.” It wasn’t the only thing he wanted to say, but somehow it seemed easier to lead with it.

  “Thank you.” She smiled, but her eyes still held a trace of sadness. “That’s really—”

  “That’s not the only thing,” he interrupted her. “I miss you.” He blurted out the truth, because it was the only thing he could do. “I told myself I wasn’t going to do this.” He shook his head, no longer caring about pride or whose ball was in whose court. “I tried to be patient and wait for you to realize…well…Amber, everything that happened…” He shook his head. Nothing was coming out the way he wanted it to. The way he needed it to. “Amber…” He took her hands in his and to his surprise and delight, she didn’t pull away. There was too much they needed to talk about. Things they both needed to apologize for. But all of that could wait until later. There was only one thing that needed to be said. “Amber,” he started again. “I love you.”

  She looked about as surprised by his words as he was that he’d said them out loud. He’d come to the conclusion weeks ago that he was in love with her, but he sure as hell hadn’t planned to say it. Not that way. But a moment later, the surprise on her face faded and her lips twisted into a smile.

  “Logan,” she began. “I—”

  “Amber! There you are!” The side door flew open, bringing with it a gust of warmth, and Christy. “Sorry to interrupt, but Cam needs us for some unofficial bridesmaid pictures.”

  Amber glanced between him and her friend and then back at him. “Save me a dance?”

  “Of course.” He wanted to add that he’d save all his dances for her because there was no one else he ever wanted to have in his arms, but she’d disappeared inside with Christy and once again he was standing alone in the cold.

  Chapter Twenty-One

  He loved her.

  He’d said it.

  And she’d…

  “Smile,” the photographer ordered, pulling Amber back into the moment. They did as they were told before striking another pose. Despite the fact that they weren’t official bridesmaids—the position having been saved only for Morgan—there was no way they weren’t going to have a photo shoot together.

  For the next few minutes, they took a series of pictures as a foursome, just the way they had at Christy’s wedding and Drew’s and high school graduation before that. And just like all of the previous occasions, they laughed and smiled until their faces hurt.

  Finally, when they must have filled an entire memory card of images, the photographer declared it enough, and stole the bride and groom away for a few more shots before the reception was to begin.

  “I’m sorry I interrupted you guys out there.” Christy spun on her the moment she had a chance. “I hope I didn’t interrupt anything important.”

  I love you.

  That was important. That was very important.

  “It’s okay.” Amber shrugged. “We’ll talk later.”

  “Talk about what?” Drew asked.

  She looked between her friends. She didn’t want to keep any more secrets from them. “I think I’m in love with Logan.”

  Drew burst out laughing and after a brief look of admonishment from Christy, she, too, couldn’t help it, and stifled a smile.

  “What?” Amber stared between her friends who were being anything but supportive. “What’s so funny?”

  It was Drew who pulled herself together first. “Obviously you love him, stupid.”

  “What?”

  She still couldn’t wrap her head around what was happening. It had taken Amber so long to come to the conclusion herself, and even longer to admit it. Let alone say it out loud. She couldn’t see what was so funny about that. In fact, there was nothing funny about it.

  Christy put her hand on Amber’s arm. “Sweetie, we’re not laughing at you.”

  “Sure sounds like it.”

  Drew swallowed another giggle and forced herself to be serious. Amber could see the effort it took. “Honestly,” she said. “We’re not. It’s just…Amber, you’re so cute. We could all see ages ago that you were in love.”

  Amber took a step back and shook her head.

  “It’s true,” Christy confirmed. “Even more so since Thanksgiving. You are head over heels, girl. Why do you think you were so upset with him?”

  “That doesn’t even make sense.”

  “It totally does,” Drew said.

  Amber’s head spun. They all knew? They knew before she did?

  “I mean, I knew I liked him,” Amber said, trying to sort the feelings out in her head. “And I enjoyed spending time with him, but…” Had it always been love? The racing heart when he kissed her. The warmth and excitement every time they were together. The ache that had been a constant since they’d stopped talking. Her hand flew to her mouth. “I’m such an idiot. How did I not see it before? I mean, I guessed that maybe that’s what it was, but I just realized it. Really realized it. Like, just now.”

  “For a smart woman, you’re pretty clueless sometimes.” Christy laughed.

  “Why didn’t you say anything?”

  “It wasn’t for us to say.” Drew’s smile was sweet. “You needed to see it for yourself.”

  Amber didn’t get another chance to talk to Logan until after the dinner and speeches were done, which was probably a good thing because it gave her a chance to sort out her feelings in her head and figure out exactly what she wanted to tell him. She’d been looking forward to seeing him for weeks. It had been incredibly hard to keep herself from calling him or texting him, but she’d needed to wait. And she’d known exactly how she was going to do it, but now, with his declaration…everything was different.

  Now that the day was here and it was time, everything she’d thought she would say to him had completely gone from her head.

  When finally the band started up, and Cam and Evan went to dance their first dance, Amber stood on the edge of the dance floor and watched them along with everyone else. They truly were the happiest couple she’d ever seen, and she didn’t know anyone else more deserving of their happy-ever-after than Cam and Evan. As the music played and she looked around the room at all of her family and friends, Amber’s heart was full. Timber Creek was exactly where she belonged. It always was. It had just taken her a long time to figure it out.

  Her eyes landed on Logan right as the first song ended, and the band invited everyone to take to the dance floor. Amber didn’t hesitate. She walked directly to Logan, who met her halfway.

  “May I have this dance?”

  “I can’t think of anything I’d like more.” Amber slipped her hand in his, her body reacting at once to his touch. He pressed his other hand to her back and they started to move slowly to the beat.

  “It was a beautiful wedding,” he said. “Everything has been so—”

  “I’m sorry,” she blurted. “I’m sorry I lied to you. I was scared and—”

  “It’s okay.” They’d stopped moving but Logan’s arms were still around
her. “You don’t have—”

  “No.” She shook her head. “It’s not okay. I was scared and you were trying to help and…I lied. I shouldn’t have done that. And I never should have gotten mad at you that way. I…” Tears filled her eyes, but she couldn’t cry. Not until she was done telling him what she needed to tell him. “I’ve missed you too.”

  He pulled back a little so they could see each other properly. “Why didn’t you answer my calls?”

  It was such a simple question, but not one she could answer completely. At least not yet.

  “I just…I couldn’t.”

  He nodded, somehow accepting her non-answer.

  “Logan?” She took a breath. It would be so easy to continue to protect her heart, and keep living a solitary life. It would be safer. But with him standing so close to her, his scent that was somehow both peppermint and cinnamon, filling her senses, Amber knew she couldn’t run. Not anymore. “Did you mean what you said?”

  He nodded, not needing any clarification at all. “Every word. Amber, I—”

  “I love you,” she interrupted him. “I have for a while now, but I didn’t realize it,” she said quickly. “I love you, Logan. It’s the craziest thing and I’ve never—”

  He silenced her with a kiss. His hands came to her face, holding her, and she pressed her hands to his chest, absorbing every beat of his heart, and together, they fell completely and totally into each other in the middle of the dance floor.

  They still had so much to talk about, but Logan knew there’d be plenty of time for that later. Together they enjoyed the wedding, dancing into the night with their friends and absorbing the fun and festivities. Finally, when the newlyweds made their exit, Logan took Amber’s hand. “All I want for Christmas is for you to wake up next to me tomorrow,” he said. “Will you come back to the ranch with me?”

  He didn’t add that it might be one of the last times he’d be able to say that since the ranch had been sold. There’d be time for that later. For the moment, he just wanted to hold her in his arms and make love to the woman he loved.

  Amber glanced toward Drew.

  “Give me a moment?”

  She slipped away from him and went to Drew, who was struggling to scoop a sleeping Austin into her arms. Naturally she’d be concerned about Drew and Austin. It was their first Christmas without Eric. He was about to go after her, and tell her it was fine—Drew needed her, and she should stay with her—when Ben joined them and took Austin from Drew’s arms. He shifted the child to his shoulder easily while the three of them had a brief conversation.

  A moment later, Amber was back.

  “It’s okay,” he said. “We don’t have to—”

  “It’s fine.” She cut him off. “We’re all pretty sure that despite the fact that he’s exhausted, Austin will still be up super early to see if Santa came.” She laughed, her eyes sparkling. “And Drew doesn’t want to subject me to an early wake-up. Besides, I think it’s important for them to do this alone. Ben will take them home and make sure Austin is settled. Besides, I promised we’d be over for brunch.”

  He laughed, happy to know he’d have her for the night. “Sounds good. I look forward to it. Now let’s get out of here.”

  “This is perfect.” Amber cuddled closer to Logan on the couch. The first thing they’d done when getting back from the wedding was to light a fire in Logan’s stone fireplace, change out of their fancy clothes, and cuddle under a blanket together. “Except, how will Santa get down the chimney if we have a fire?”

  “The only gift I need this year is you.” He stroked her hair and in that moment, Amber couldn’t remember having ever been so happy before. And she’d almost let it all get away.

  Never again.

  “Is that all you need?” She sat up a little so she could look at him. She still had one more gift to give him. “Because I have a present for you.”

  His eyes flashed with desire and Amber laughed. “Not that,” she said and then added, “At least, not yet.”

  Logan pretended to look disappointed. “I was serious,” he said. “You’re the only thing I need.”

  “Well, I kind of hope you don’t mean that.” She unfolded herself from the couch and went into the bedroom, where she’d left her bag with the change of clothes she’d taken to the wedding. When she returned, she was holding an envelope. “I hope you like it.”

  Her hand shook as she held it out to him. She could only hope he’d be happy with what she’d done.

  Logan glanced at her again before turning his attention to the envelope. “You really didn’t have to—” His voice broke off when he saw what she was holding. “What is this?”

  “It’s a business card.” Her breath caught in her throat while she waited for him to connect the dots. “For Taking the Reins Treatment Center.” She remembered the night he told her about his dreams for the ranch. With more horses and the way he wanted to expand it to an entire center where he could host more than one client at a time and really immerse them in the horse experience so he could help more people.

  She saw the moment he realized what it meant, his eyes lit up, but a moment later, he squeezed them shut and shook his head. “Amber, I don’t know what to say.”

  “Say that you’re excited,” she offered. “Say that’s great.”

  He wasn’t smiling.

  “But it’s not.” When he looked up, he looked immeasurably sad. “Remember when I told you that Ruby was putting the ranch up for sale?”

  She nodded. “I do, and—”

  “It’s official,” he interrupted her. “The new buyers take over on the first of the new year. I didn’t want to say anything tonight. I just wanted to enjoy this without bringing it up, but…well. Anyway, I tried everything I could. I put together a business proposal for her to present to prospective buyers, but it wasn’t enough.” He shook his head and tried to hand the card back to her. “It’s not going to happen.”

  “Yes, it is.” She put her hands on her hips and refused to take the card. “Logan, you don’t—”

  “I’m not trying to be negative, Amber.” He stood. “Really, I’m just—”

  “I bought the ranch!” she blurted. “That’s what I’m trying to tell you.”

  “You bought the ranch?” He blinked once. Twice. “What? How?” He shook his head. “No, why would you buy the ranch?”

  “Because…” She took the card from his hands and pressed it to his chest over his heart. “I believe in what you’re doing here and the difference you’re making. I believe in the difference you can make to so many more people if you’re given the opportunity and most importantly, I believe in you, Logan.”

  He looked down at her hand pressed to his chest and then back up at her. His eyes were still clouded with confusion, but the realization was starting to push through the fog. “But…I don’t…”

  Amber took his hands in hers and together they sat on the couch. “Remember when I asked you what I could do to help?”

  He nodded.

  “Well, it got me thinking. I had some investments and savings from too many years of working and having no life, so…”

  “You did this for me?”

  “No.” She laughed. “Not really. I mean, yes. Obviously. But mostly I did it for all the people you’re going to be able to help and because the world needs more of that. A lot more.”

  Logan pulled the card out again and stared at it. “Really?” He looked up. “This is happening?”

  She nodded. “It’s happening. Ready or not.”

  “Oh baby, I’m more than ready.” He wrapped his arms around her then and kissed her hard before leaning back. “Now, seriously. Tell me how you pulled this off.”

  It wasn’t nearly as hard as she thought it would be, and she told him as much. About how after their fight, she realized how stupid she’d been—that she’d been thinking of a way to make it up to him, and the idea was born, but how it quickly became so much more than that. “Once I realized I could afford the i
nvestment—along with a partner—I started thinking about how amazing it really could be. Plus, since I have no real interest in cattle or ranching in any way, I’ve decided to sell whatever herd Ruby had left to Thundering Hooves Ranch. They’ve already been leasing most of the land for their own herd anyway, so we’ve kept that arrangement, which means I only need to worry about the barns, the cabin, the main house, the horses, and about twenty acres that you can use to develop the center. That’s about how much your proposal said you needed, right?”

  “My proposal?”

  “That’s the one.” She laughed. “Ruby showed it to me, and I was very impressed. We can draft an agreement for leasing the space and—”

  “You’ve thought of everything, haven’t you?” Logan shook his head, clearly still in disbelief of the entire situation.

  “Almost everything,” Amber said more seriously this time. “I honestly wasn’t sure if you would forgive me, or want to get involved with me in any way again. So, I was prepared to walk away and hand over control to my partner.”

  “Your dad,” Logan guessed correctly.

  She nodded. “Yes. So if you aren’t sure about this, about me, or getting involved in a business venture with me, I understand.”

  Logan shifted on the couch and took her hands. “You need to slow down,” he said. “I’m still trying to catch up with what’s going on here.” He squeezed her hands. “Let’s go back to what you said about you not being sure I’d forgive you or wanting to be involved with you again.”

  Her heart sank. Maybe the last few hours were too good to be true; maybe they wouldn’t be able to get past everything that had happened. “Can you understand why I didn’t reach out to you before now?” she said quickly, desperate to make him understand. “I needed to be sure that this…that everything…I needed to make a grand gesture so you knew how I felt. And that was even before I knew how I felt. But it was—”

 

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