Remember Arizona: A Second Chance Romance (Country Love Collection)

by Dr. Rebecca Sharp

  “Because you didn’t need me, Tally; he did,” I snapped, hating the sharp edge to my voice. “Because you are so damn determined—determined to ride a damn bike. Determined to skip class to hang out with me. Determined to sneak me into your room and demand all the things I desperately wanted to give you.” I grabbed her shoulders, giving them a strong but slight shake. “You are so damn determined, I knew if I’d told you, you would’ve done what you always did—risk something to be with me.”

  I released her and took a step back, sinking my hands onto my waist and dragging in air like it was as heavy as cement. Lifting my gaze, I met her injured one.

  “I didn’t tell you because I knew you’d give up your future—school, New York—for me. And I couldn’t—” I broke off and wiped my hand on my mouth, straightening my shoulders no matter that they felt they carried the weight of the world. “I couldn’t live with myself if I didn’t do everything to help my dad. And I couldn’t live with myself if knowing that changed the course you wanted for your life.”

  It sounded right. I knew it was right. But the way she held herself, arms wrapped over her front, and the way she looked at me, tears streaking her grim expression, made it feel all wrong.

  “So, you decided to take my choice away instead.”

  I glared at her. “No. I didn’t take anything from you—”

  “Except yourself.”

  My chin ducked to the side, and I swallowed a curse. “I didn’t take your choice from you, Tally,” I rasped, picking my words more carefully that time.

  She laughed and it was like a grenade tossed into my chest.

  “You are an honorable man, Sam Deschenes,” she replied, nodding along with her words. “I would never fault you for helping your family.” Her shoulders shook with her unsteady breath. “But you took away my choice by removing yourself and the truth from the situation.”

  My jaw tightened but I didn’t respond, hating how she used the sleeves of her sun shirt to wipe her cheeks. Those tears were my fault and my responsibility. I should be the one drying them,

  “Maybe I would’ve stayed. Maybe I would’ve tried to help,” she admitted, her gaze hardening as she walked closer, stopping just in front of me to make sure I got a good, clean look at the hurt in her eyes. “But did you ever think that maybe school and New York and all my plans for the future… were only something I wanted because they involved you?”

  My heart stopped, the ground feeling like it was opening up beneath me.

  “I sent you that note and told you I was in love with you.” Her tongue dragged angrily over her lips. “Maybe if you’d gotten it, you would’ve known that the future I was set on only had one critical piece to it. Maybe then you wouldn’t have taken that piece away.”

  Like shooting stars, a million thoughts crashed and burned through my mind—a million scenarios I’d never imagined because I was a kid forced to save someone else’s future at the expense of my own.

  “Tally…” My throat felt dry and raw, like I’d lived in the desert with no water for weeks on end.

  She drew back with a small shake of her head, backing away several paces until she finally turned and walked back down the path.

  This time, not only did I have to watch myself lose her, but I had to do it with the full knowledge of what it was like to have her.

  To hold her.

  To kiss her.

  To love her.

  Dragging in a dry, burning breath, I followed in the dust of her trail with determination—determination to make this right.

  I’d let her go once. If nothing else, I knew I wouldn’t make that mistake again. She could be mad at me—she could hate me—but that didn’t change my intentions.

  “Tally?”

  I knew the knock was coming. I’d been in my room since yesterday, caught in the turmoil between past and present, and Mee-Maw had left me alone.

  She knew. I didn’t know how much she knew—how much Sam told her about why I left the Lavender Pit before everyone else—but she knew enough to let me process in solitude.

  “It’s time to let me in,” she encouraged warmly.

  At first, I was even surprised she hadn’t barged in last night around dinnertime with a bowl full of chili—because that always solved everything. But then, when I opened the curtains to my windows, I saw the pizza box sitting on the seat of a chair on the deck. Banshee Pizza. And sure enough, there was a Thai Me Up small pie waiting inside.

  It would’ve been great if the gesture hadn’t made me angrier at Sam. Once again, trying to take care of me when he was the one who hurt me. But my stomach grumbled that it didn’t have time for grudges, so I pulled the pizza inside and pretended like eating it didn’t come with the smallest backslide down the hill of anger I’d climbed earlier.

  “It’s open, Mee-Maw.” The words were hardly out before she appeared through the doorway, her gaze looking to the bed first, and then finding me on the other side of the room, sitting on the floor, and staring at the rumpled bedsheets.

  Gliding over, she groaned quietly, using the wall to sink down to the floor next to me.

  “Mee-Maw!” I tried to rise; she didn’t need to come down to the floor. But her hand pressed on my shoulder, effectively holding me down until she plopped into a seat next to me.

  “You’re pushing these joints to their limits,” she remarked lightly, her wide smiling opening her face.

  “I would’ve gotten up.”

  She tutted. “That would defeat the reason I’m here… I came to you. And if the floor is where you need to be, Tally. Then that’s where these old bones will make it.”

  “Oh my,” I huffed, seeing in her expression the exaggeration she made. “You aren’t fooling me.”

  She chuckled and patted my leg.

  “I could say the same for you, Talia,” she said after a lengthy pause.

  “I can’t,” I grumbled and then admitted, “I think I’ve been fooling myself.”

  “Because you’re in love with Sam?”

  My eyes snapped to her, my lips tightening in refusal to let that admission pass them. Not yet. Even if it was the truth.

  “Do you know why he didn’t come back?” I asked quietly.

  She exhaled softly and said, “He did tell me. A few years ago.”

  “Why didn’t you tell me?” I asked without anger.

  “You were in New York. He was here.” She reached for my hand, capturing it with hers. “Would you have wanted to know?”

  I chewed on my tongue like I was physically digesting the question and what my answer really was. If I had known, what would it have changed now?

  But then…

  “Why didn’t he tell me then, Mee-Maw?” I asked, brokenly. “Why did he let me—us all think—”

  “Oh, Talia.” She sighed, giving my hand a squeeze. “I know you’re hurting, but I don’t think it’s hard to understand not telling someone something that might hurt them.”

  “But—”

  “Like when you didn’t tell me the real reason Sam fell off his bike and gashed his head because he wasn’t wearing a helmet?” Her head half turned to me, catching my wide eyes. “Because he’d let you wear his helmet?”

  “You knew?”

  “Just like I knew about you skipping that summer pottery camp I signed you up for, instead, buying the pizza stone to pass off as your creation.” She chuckled. “That one had Banshee written on the bottom, I’m surprised you missed it.”

  I winced and then shook my head with a sad laugh. “I was ten. I was more concerned with not getting in trouble.”

  “And what about the nights?” she asked. “You never told me about those.”

  Slowly sucking down a long inhale, I blinked twice and asked, “What nights?”

  Her lips pursed and, holding my hand with hers, used it to tap on my thigh. “The sleepovers you thought I didn’t know about.”

  My mouth dropped and, even now, as an adult, I blushed, still feeling like the teen who’d been c
aught.

  “Why didn’t you say anything?” I muttered.

  “Because you were a good kid, Tally. A good girl with a good heart. And I trusted you to do the right thing, and to tell me if and when you felt it was right.”

  My throat thickened, emotion welling for the woman who’d raised me. My head tipped to the side, heavy with the weight of all its thoughts, until it rested wearily on her shoulder.

  “It’s not the same Mee-Maw. Me not telling you those things didn’t change anything. But if Sam had told me, Mee-Maw, it would’ve—”

  “Changed everything?” Her eyebrow arched.

  I bit the corner of my lip, gazing out the window instead of answering.

  All night I’d wondered what I would’ve done if I knew. Would I still have gone to New York? Would I have stayed in Bisbee? Gone to the reservation? I begrudgingly admitted that Sam was right about one thing, I would’ve done things differently had I known what he was going through.

  “He told me his father lost everything,” I said softly, though I was sure she already knew.

  “You know Sam better than anyone, Talia. You know how proud and honorable he is. That has been a part of him from the moment you and I both met him. The Navajo are a proud people,” she comforted me. “He had to make a decision no eighteen-year-old boy should have to make—his future for his father’s. He didn’t want help from anyone. Not you. Not his mother. His father was suffering enough, he didn’t want to dishonor him, rightly or wrongly, by sharing the horrible mistakes he made.”

  “Maybe he should have. What kind of man steps in for a father who does that to him?”

  “The kind of man who always needs to take care of those he loves,” she said simply, and my eyes shot to hers.

  She didn’t know… she couldn’t know that…

  But she was right. Sam always took care of people. He always took the blame. For me, when I got us into trouble. I was being ridiculous to think he wouldn’t do that for his father.

  “I don’t blame him, Mee-Maw. I could never… for that… but he just let me think…” I swallowed down the painful memories. “He let me think he didn’t care about me. Like I was easily forgotten.”

  She reached over with her free hand and gripped my chin. “You, Miss Talia Kerr, are not easily forgotten. Especially for that man,” she declared with a fierceness that managed to surprise me. “I can promise you Sam has thought about you every day since.”

  I pulled my head away and sighed softly. “You don’t know that,” I murmured. “And it doesn’t matter. This is where we are… and I don’t know what to do.”

  For several seconds, she remained quiet. Then her hand lifted mine, separating my thumb from the rest of my fingers, and spinning the ring that still sat on it.

  “Do you know how they make Bisbee Blue?”

  I blinked, looking between her and the turquoise ring. “They find it?”

  She shot me a warning glance.

  “They find the stones, but most of the time, there isn’t much of the blue visible from the surface,” she explained. “So, the jeweler has to take the stone and grind it against very coarse sandpaper, buzzing away the layers of rock on top.”

  “What’s this about, Mee-Maw?” I gripped her fingers tightly so they would stop reminding me how I couldn’t bring myself to take off the ring Sam gave me.

  “When you cut away the rock, Tally, you have to be careful not to remove too much of the blue. There is a balance between what you reveal and what you take away. I know it hurts that Sam didn’t tell you. I know it hurts that he didn’t go to New York. And I know it hurts that the way it happened let you think it was because of you. But he didn’t know that’s what you’d think. He was trying to find the balance between not hurting his father and not hurting you.”

  For several seconds, she remained quiet and then, with a sudden burst of energy, she pushed herself back up and pulled on my arm. “Time to get up.” She tugged again. “We have somewhere to go.”

  “What?” I balked, but still stood.

  “Get dressed. It’s time.”

  “Time for what…” I trailed off, my question destined to go unanswered since Mee-Maw let herself out of my room, humming as she went to collect her things to take me wherever it was that was so important.

  “Are you really taking me to work with you?” I asked in disbelief when Mee-Maw pulled into the back parking lot for Heart of Blue.

  “Patience, Tally.”

  Patience had always been my downfall.

  But a few seconds later, we were out of the car, and I held the door to the jewelry store open for my grandmother.

  Inside, the shop was well laid out, shelves hung on the walls and there were a few tables set out around the floor and in front of the front display windows, all with ample surrounding space for each piece to be admired on its own.

  The natural sunlight billowed in from the front windows and, accentuated by the overhead lights, the store was impossibly bright.

  And blue.

  The mostly white decor faded against the vibrant teal of the Bisbee Blue gems. Rich turquoise streaked with red stone stood out with a kind of natural electricity in the various necklaces, bracelets, and earrings that the store sold.

  Forgetting Mee-Maw for a second and the unknown reason she’d brought me here, my attention caught on a piece in the window. Standing proud in the center of the display was a ring with the Bisbee Blue stone carved to a pointed base, like a diamond would be, but instead of a square or oval at the top, it was polished into the shape of a heart.

  “Beautiful,” I heard myself murmur and it pulled me from the momentary trance. “Mee-Maw—”

  I turned, fully expecting to confront my secretive and far too perceptive grandmother about what was going on, but instead, I came to face the six-foot tower of handsome heartache.

  “Sam…” I exhaled his name, the emotional rollercoaster I’d been on prolonging the relay between my eyes and my brain, and then my brain and my mouth.

  I didn’t know he would be here.

  I wasn’t ready for him to be here.

  Giving myself a mental kick, I snapped my mouth shut and noticed the towel he was drying his hands with. It was covered in red dirt—just like his hands.

  And then I remembered he hadn’t been in the store when we’d walked in; he would’ve been the first thing I noticed.

  The air knocked from my lungs once more, and I realized why Mee-Maw brought me here.

  “This is yours, isn’t it?” I murmured. “This is your store.”

  There was a beat before he nodded, his eyes never leaving mine.

  “I should’ve known Mee-Maw would do something like this,” I muttered with a small laugh, wondering where my grandmother had even gone off to.

  “I didn’t know she was bringing you here, Tally.” His voice was raw—like he’d been scraping it over with sand paper.

  I nodded, folding my arms. She was sneaky like that.

  “I didn’t realize this was your store… that this was what you did now.” I swallowed over the lump in my throat. Another secret. Another thing he’d kept from me.

  “Let me explain, Tally.” His eyes glinted hotly.

  “Why?” Pain seared through my chest. “You don’t seem to want to tell me anything true about the past or present.” He tensed but I pressed on. “This is wonderful, Sam. This store. Your work. It’s… incredible. I’m happy for you, but I need to go.”

  I managed to choke out the words and whip around for the door.

  “Dammit, Tally—”

  I shoved out into the crisp afternoon heat, not ready for more excuses.

  It only took three steps to realize I didn’t have the keys to Mee-Maw’s car and one more step for a steel arm to snag around my waist, my body flying up and unceremoniously dumped over Sam’s right shoulder, his hand sliding down to lock onto my ass and his other arm wrapping around the back of my legs.

  “Sam!” I screeched. “What are you doing?”
>
  I didn’t fight him. That would be pointless.

  “Taking you somewhere so we can talk,” he declared, carrying me to his truck.

  I sagged over him. “And you couldn’t just ask?”

  He grunted. “Not going to let you walk away from me again.”

  I shivered, warmth crawling up my spine right through the barricades I’d tried to resurrect. Before I could try and protest, I was dumped in the front seat of Sam’s truck and he was around the other side, starting up the engine.

  “Aren’t you working?” I grumbled.

  “Was only in the back shaping up some new pieces,” he told me. “Besides, I’d leave the door wide open and the store unattended if that’s what it took to get me to you.”

  I tried to swallow but couldn’t. The butterflies in my stomach buoying the ball of emotion lodged in my throat.

  “How long?” I asked, keeping my gaze out the window as Sam drove through town.

  I didn’t ask where he was heading. Deep down, I already knew.

  The Lavender Pit.

  “I bought the store three years ago, rented it for a year before that. But the jewelry? I never stopped since I made you that ring.” He nodded to my finger, and I quickly clasped my other hand over it.

  I did about as good a job concealing the ring as I did how I felt about him.

  Poorly.

  “I got you a small welding kit and polishing wheels.”

  “What?” He glanced at me.

  My shoulders slumped. “Your birthday present that year. After you made the rings, I thought it would be a good gift.”

  He sat quietly, tension vibrating through the silence. “It would’ve been,” he replied with a low voice and pulled into the parking lot.

  I stayed unmoving as he shut off the truck and rounded to the passenger door, opening it and extending out his hand.

  This time, he asked, “Walk with me?”

  Like a moth to a flame, I’d never be able to resist him.

  The hurt, knowing what he’d kept from me, clawed at old wounds—the scars of heartache that easily ripped open. But the hurt wasn’t strong enough to ignore the truth: Sam Deschenes was a good man. And Mee-Maw was right—no surprise there—he was proud, and if there was something he was proudest of, it was taking care of the people he cared about.