Line by Line

by Jennifer Delamere

  She sighed, bringing her hands to her eyes, feeling the cool moisture of tears. In this depressed state she lay, ruminating sadly over everything.

  A knock at the door startled her back to a sitting position.

  Although the front door was down a flight of stairs, she heard the knocking through her open window. Pushing herself to her feet, she went to the window and looked out to see who it was.

  A telegraph delivery boy stood on the front step. He pushed back his cap as he looked up at her. “Miss Alice McNeil?”

  “Yes, that’s me. Wait just one moment, please.”

  Alice hurried to her bedroom to locate a coin for the boy. All the gloom she’d been feeling coalesced into worry. What if the telegram contained bad news? Perhaps her mother’s health was more frail than she’d realized. She ought to have heeded her sister’s admonitions to visit them more often.

  Opening the door, she received the telegram and tipped the boy in return. With a quick thank-you and a tip of his hat, he raced off.

  Alice tore open the telegram and quickly scanned its contents.

  YOU MUST COME TO PARENTS PARTY SATURDAY. REFUSAL NOT ALLOWED.

  AFFECTIONATELY

  YOUR FORGOTTEN FAMILY

  Even though it was signed as from the whole family, this missive was definitely the work of her sister, Annie. Of that, Alice had no doubt.

  Annie had written several letters telling Alice about the party, a celebration of her parents’ fortieth wedding anniversary. Alice had been putting off her reply even though she knew, as the telegram stated, that she must go. She owed this to her parents. Such a milestone was not often achieved. Her father was nearing seventy, and her mother was not as vigorous as she’d once been, after bearing seven children. Alice loved her family dearly. She only hesitated because every time she went home, she faced an endless barrage of questions from her mother and sister, trying to ascertain if she had any gentlemen courting her and whether she was considering marriage. At least her brothers and father understood that she wanted and enjoyed this life she’d been living. They’d been happy for her successes.

  And now?

  Now she was mortified at the thought of going home. Aside from her shame at having lost her job, she would bring worries that would dampen a joyous celebration.

  Expelling a deep sigh, Alice plodded back up the stairs, thinking over what to do. She spent a long time trying to decide how much of her troubles to reveal to her family. One thing she was determined not to do was mention Fred. Or Douglas.

  She sniffled back a few more tears, then prepared to go out.

  Although her family’s desire to see her was understandable, something in Alice’s soul balked at being ordered to go. She was half-tempted to keep them in suspense, not even sending a reply before she simply showed up on their doorstep. But then she decided there was no point in being contrary. She would wire back her response, despite the cost, and let them know she’d be arriving on the early train.

  Besides, sending the telegram would give her a chance to see Rose. It was only an extra twenty minutes’ walk to reach the post office where she worked. The thought of seeing Rose cheered Alice, even though she knew full well what her friend would say about her troubles with men. Rose would insist that Alice was far better off to be rid of them all.

  And, of course, she’d be right.

  CHAPTER

  Twenty-Eight

  When Alice stepped off the train in Ancaster, she found her brother Nathan waiting for her at the station. Annie was with him, too.

  Annie threw her arms around Alice in a big hug. “I’m so glad you’re here! Thank heavens you were able to get away from that horrid workplace and come home for a while.”

  “I keep telling you it’s not horrid,” Alice said, forgetting for a fraction of a second that she no longer worked there. “It’s the same work Jack and Father do.”

  “Even so. Now we have you for two days. Mother and Father are so happy you’re coming.” She wrapped an arm around Alice while Nathan, who was not the sort to give hugs, merely grinned his greeting and put her valise in the wagon.

  As they rode toward home, Annie explained that her husband, Roger, had to work that morning but would join them all later in the afternoon.

  They soon arrived at the house where Alice had grown up and which was still occupied by her parents; her brothers Nathan and Peter; and Peter’s wife, Jane; and their two sons. Today the house was bursting at the seams, because Alice’s eldest brother, Jack, and his wife, Minnie, were there, too, along with their three children. Altogether it was quite a brood, and Alice had no doubt that Annie and her new husband would soon be adding to the number.

  Of the five siblings, only Alice and Nathan remained unmarried. Unlike Alice, no one was bothering her brother about remaining single.

  Alice was instantly set upon by her sister-in-law Minnie and several of the older children, who subjected her to hugs and kisses. She always enjoyed hugs from the little ones, but today the arms around her neck and the soft hair brushing her cheek felt especially poignant. Perhaps she’d missed them more than she’d realized.

  After she’d disentangled herself from the others, her father greeted her with a sound kiss on the cheek. “Welcome home, daughter. I’m glad you could come.”

  “You know I wouldn’t miss your fortieth anniversary celebration! However, I confess I have a hard time believing that number is right.” It was true. Her father was still as healthy and spry as a man twenty years younger.

  “You are as beautiful as ever, Alice,” said her mother, speaking from her chair by the window as though she hadn’t seen Alice in years instead of only a few months.

  Alice was sad to see that her mother wasn’t faring as well as her father. According to letters she’d received from Annie, their mother was having increasing trouble getting around, so she had taken to directing the household from her chair in the main room.

  Alice went over to give her a kiss. “Annie is the pretty one,” she reminded her mother with a smile. “Not me.”

  “Correct as ever,” said Peter. When they were children, he’d always teased her mercilessly.

  Alice gave him a playful swat. “Where’s Jane?”

  “Upstairs tending to little Georgie. She’ll be down shortly to introduce him to you.” At just two months old, Georgie was the only member of this growing family that Alice hadn’t met yet. “You’ll find he’s a fine, strapping lad,” Peter added.

  “Are you sure he’s yours, then?” Alice teased.

  He drew back, pretending to be offended. “Why, Alice! How dare you insult my wife like that!”

  Everyone laughed.

  “Come and sit by me, dear,” her mother said, indicating the chair next to hers. “We want to hear all about what you’ve been doing in London.”

  “Yes!” said Jack excitedly. “I’d like to know more about your work at Henley and Company. I daresay the messages you send are a lot more exciting than the mundane stuff we get at the post office.”

  The mention of her former workplace instantly brought all of Alice’s troubles back to the forefront of her mind. Why had she thought it would be enough simply not to mention work? Naturally they would want to ask her about it. She stared at Jack blankly while she tried to figure out how to answer.

  “Jack, she’s just arrived,” Minnie admonished. “She hasn’t even had time to take off her hat, and I daresay she could use a cup of tea.”

  “That’s an excellent idea,” Jack said, the point his wife was trying to make going completely over his head. “Can you go and make us some?” He dropped onto the sofa, returning his attention to Alice. “You have to send the messages in code, I’ll bet. How does that work?”

  Alice could have begged off and delayed this conversation, but it wouldn’t be any easier later. Besides, her father was also looking at her expectantly, just as interested in this subject as Jack was.

  “A cup of tea would be lovely, thank you,” Alice said gratefully to Min
nie, who was still shaking her head over Jack. Alice was used to her brother’s ways. She knew he would always treat her as a sister and never as a pampered guest.

  “I’m happy to make you one,” Minnie said. “The blokes might need to fend for themselves.” But she said this with a smirk, and Alice knew she was only teasing.

  Minnie went off to the kitchen, and since that was the land of tea and treats, the children followed in her wake. Alice removed her hat and made herself comfortable in the chair next to her mother.

  She did her best to answer her family’s questions as neutrally as possible, trying to frame her responses without using the past tense. But discussing her work routine, her tasks, and the many things she’d learned while at the company was hard on her heart, for she missed all of those things already. Above all, she missed seeing Douglas every day. Quite apart from the minor fact that she was in love with him, he’d been the best work colleague she’d ever had.

  Jack whistled in astonishment when she told him the volume of messages they sent and received daily. “And you have to put most of them into code first!” he said, marveling. “I’ll bet they’re glad to have a crack telegrapher like you working for them.”

  It was a rare compliment from her brother, and hard to accept, given the circumstances. In the short space of time since she’d last seen her family, she had gained and lost the best job she was likely ever to have. Never mind that she’d been forced out by a spiteful colleague.

  “Al, you’re not tearing up because Jack said something nice, are you?” Peter said. “I can’t believe you’re getting soft.”

  Alice shook her head, trying to think of a funny retort, but her throat was tight from holding back tears. Anything humorous completely escaped her.

  Annie’s sympathetic look told her she sensed Alice’s distress. “Ah, look, here’s little Georgie!” she said brightly, pointing toward the stairs, where Jane was just coming down with her son in her arms. Annie got up to meet them and began cooing elaborately over the baby. “Come here, my big boy,” she said, taking Georgie into her arms. “You haven’t met your Auntie Alice yet.” Annie brought the boy over to Alice. “He’s a beauty, isn’t he?”

  Alice accepted the little bundle from Annie and looked down into that cherubic face. The baby was pink and plump, with pale wisps of hair and wide blue eyes.

  “He looks just like Peter,” Annie teased. Their brother was slender and dark haired.

  “He’ll grow into it,” Peter said.

  Holding a baby was nothing new for Alice. Aside from her nieces and nephews, there had been her little sister. She’d had practically the entire care of Annie during her first few years, as their mother was often bedridden with problems from subsequent pregnancies. Today, though, as with everything else, Alice found that holding the baby was affecting her in troubling ways. This visit was already taking an emotional toll, and she hadn’t even been here an hour.

  “Georgie, this is your Aunt Alice,” Annie told the boy. “Be nice to her, because she’s going to be a wonderful aunt.”

  A wonderful aunt.

  A maiden aunt, another voice in her head supplied. Of course that was her destiny; she’d known it all along. She’d consciously made that choice years ago, never once expecting she might regret it.

  “Here’s the tea,” Minnie said, arriving with a tea tray and the children still in tow. “I brought just enough cups for the ladies,” she joked, sending a playful frown at Jack.

  Sometime later, the tea had been consumed, and the family had split into various groups—the men were chatting and watching the older children play, while the ladies were conferring about the details of tonight’s dinner.

  Jane and Peter’s other son, two-year-old Samuel, was staring at Georgie, who was seated in Jane’s lap. He was fascinated by this little creature who had joined his family and taken all their attention yet couldn’t do anything except simply be. Alice had to avert her gaze, because just the sight of them stirred deep longings in her soul.

  Annie pulled Alice aside, out of hearing of the others. “Alice, is everything all right? You seem worried about something. Peter was right, even though he was joking. You’re not usually the type who’s often on the verge of tears.”

  “Maybe I’m just happy to be here. And I’m concerned about Mother.”

  Annie searched her face. “Is that really all, dearest? Because I can’t help but think that something else is going on. Something serious.”

  Her sister knew her too well. Should I tell her? Alice was torn.

  “Let’s take a walk,” Annie suggested. Without waiting for a reply, she announced to the others, “Alice is looking far too pale from being cooped up in dank, windowless buildings. We’re going out for a bit.”

  They decided to walk out to a meadow on the edge of town where Annie could pick some wildflowers for the table and they could talk without interruptions.

  “Now will you tell me what is bothering you?” Annie prompted.

  “It’s rather a long story.”

  “We have time.”

  “I didn’t want to say anything in front of the others because I don’t want them to worry. So you must keep this between us. This is a special time to celebrate Mother and Father, and the last thing they need is news from me that will worry them. I didn’t even want to tell you because you are still in your happy, honeymoon part of life.”

  “Don’t worry about that. I’ve been married five months now. Roger and I are quite used to one another, and we’ve already had our share of disagreements.”

  “Really?”

  “Nothing serious,” Annie assured her. “Don’t look so horrified!”

  Alice chuckled. Her sister sounded very grown up.

  “This conversation is not supposed to be about me, however,” Annie persisted. “Please tell me what’s going on with you in London.”

  Alice let out a long sigh. “Remember, you mustn’t tell anyone.”

  “Yes, yes,” her sister replied impatiently. “Out with it.”

  “I’ve been let go from Henley and Company.”

  “What?” Annie looked rightfully shocked. “That’s impossible. You’re the best worker there. Is the company in financial trouble?”

  “Yes, but it’s not what you think.” She began the tale from the beginning.

  “Alice, that’s so terrible,” Annie said when Alice had finished. “How can they think you would do such a thing? Obviously this was the work of that horrible Mr. Clapper.” Annie had never met Archie, but she knew enough about him to draw her own conclusions. Especially since Alice had focused on Archie’s dislike of working with women as the main source of friction at work. She couldn’t bring herself to reveal the other details. “Why isn’t anyone suspicious of him?”

  “He seems to feel he has complete immunity and can never lose his position.” Alice gave a resigned shrug. “It appears he is correct.”

  “Perhaps there is one good thing to come out of this. You’ll be coming back here, won’t you?”

  “Return to Ancaster with my tail between my legs? Certainly not. There are endless opportunities in London. I’ll find another position, that’s all.”

  Annie shook her head. “If it’s as easy as that, why are you so determined the rest of the family should not know about it?”

  “Because they will react just as you did and start badgering me about coming back. Mother, especially.”

  “I don’t know about that. Mother might surprise you.”

  Alice shrugged. “Even so, I’d rather not tell them until after I have secured a new position. I don’t want them to worry.”

  “I’ll worry in their stead,” Annie said. “But surely it won’t be long before you find something else. Any company would be glad to have a worker as talented as you.”

  “I don’t think I can handle so many compliments from my siblings in one day,” Alice joked. She didn’t point out that, most likely, any other telegraphy job would be closed to her.

  As
they walked back to the house, Alice reflected that there were many things she couldn’t tell Annie, nor anyone else in her family. All dealing with the deeper things of the heart. It was an odd situation, to be able to tell one’s friends but not one’s family. She decided, though, that it was best to leave things as they were.

  The celebration dinner was a boisterous affair. Alice worked diligently to keep the topics of conversation on everyone but her, asking endless questions about their work and families and the children. She learned that her father, although officially retired from his telegraphy job at the railway station, filled in at the post office telegraph a few days a week.

  “I like to keep my hand in,” he said. “Keeps my mind sharp.” His face lit up. “Say, Alice, I’ve got an idea. I could telegraph you at your work sometime. Just for a little greeting.”

  “No!” Alice exclaimed. She took a breath. “That is, they have strict rules about that sort of thing. It’s not to be used for personal messages. In any case, the other telegrapher who works there is generally the one receiving the incoming messages.” It was mostly true, but it made her feel guilty, nonetheless, to lie to her father.

  “A pity,” he said with a shrug. “If it’s slow, I’ll just have to keep up the chess game over the wires with the geezer who works the telegraph in that little town in Devon.”

  “Geezer, Dad?” Nathan said with a smile.

  Their father straightened. “Age is simply a state of mind, son.”

  After dinner, everyone crowded into the parlor for games, which the children particularly enjoyed. Alice watched the interactions between the married couples, which was everyone except her and Nathan. She had always been happy for them, glad for their growing families and contented lives. But she had never envied them until tonight.

  It hit her most dramatically toward the end of the evening, as the children were beginning to tire and crawl into the laps of their parents or sit next to them on the chairs. The room was settling into a comfortable ease. Her parents, seated in twin chairs at the end of the room like a king and queen, looked out over their brood with joyful expressions.