Passage

by Thorby Rudbek

  The waiter returned a minute later. “Would you prefer a different wine, or perhaps like to sample the vintage that your friends have chosen?”

  “I’d like some pineapple juice, please,” she responded, surprising her friends once again. As she turned back from the waiter, she noticed Latt’s empty glass. “Have you tried that?” she asked a little awkwardly.

  Latt shook his head, and the waiter seemed take this as an indication that he would indeed like to try it.

  “Do they have any alcohol back on Rhaal?” Judy asked him directly.

  “No, we are lucky if we can get reasonably clean water.” He turned to Ruth and smiled a little uncertainly, then looked back at Judy. “When Ruth told me what was in the drinks at these places, I decided I would simply forego any such chemicals, and concentrate on enjoying the food.”

  “A lot of people do drink it. Many, like Isaac and Ruth, just as a social thing, but I decided several years ago that I would never touch it again. It’s because of a family situation,” she concluded with a hint of awkwardness, leaving Latt with the impression that he should know what she was inferring, but of course, he did not.

  “There are a lot of things that people do here that probably seem senseless to an outsider like yourself.” Ruth smiled back. “Isaac and I are some of the people responsible for giving the liquor trade a respectable name.”

  There was an awkward silence at this point, but then the waiter returned, and the four each sighed inwardly with relief for the interruption. Latt tried his juice, while Judy and the other two watched his reaction with interest, and was able to smile as he savoured the flavour for the first time.

  “Tell us some more about Rhaal,” Isaac urged, making the most of the opportunity to learn more about his friend’s past.

  Latt nodded, and was about to start when Ruth reminded them that they had not yet ordered. He took advantage of the pause to collect his thoughts, and just ordered the same as Judy to avoid having what to him was an impossible task of selecting from the obscurely-named dishes. He looked down, missing Judy’s flattered blush as he unconsciously complimented her on her tastes, and started in a low voice.

  “The first memory I have is of an old man who used to play with me in a gloomy cave. I found out much later that he was my uncle. At the time he must have been quite old, old at least for that place. Probably he was more than forty of your years old. He used to teach me about the hazards and dangers of the ‘neighbourhood’. I think now that he was almost useless to our loose group… It wasn’t really a family, not like Harold Morton has, anyway – you know, four kids, his wife and him, all living in the ssame place. The old man looked after me, and if there was food left over after the rest of us ate, he got it.

  “Then one day he wasn’t there any longer, and no one would talk about him. My big ssister used to help me then; she would go ssomewhere each day and come back very dirty, but she always spent a little time with me afterwards. There were no other children in our cave, so I didn’t really understand why I was sso much smaller than the others. Not until one day when my ssister started to look bigger herself. She told me she was going to have a baby, someone very ssmall who would grow bigger, like me.” Latt looked at Ruth and saw her smile at the idea of something good coming out of so much hardship. “I was really excited. My ssister was subdued. It sseemed to take a long time, but then one day the others sent me outside because they needed more room. I ssat watching the smog drifting past the hills on the other side of the big valley, and trying to see what was below the thick clouds which always hung down below us. I heard a scream and tried to get back in. I saw my ssister lying on the hard floor of the cave before the others sent me away again. There were a few more screams, then I heard a much different sound. One of the others called me back in.

  “My ssister was still on the floor, but now she was propped up against the wall, holding a bundle of rags. That was where the noise was coming from.” Latt looked up and remained silent as the waiter delivered their appetisers.

  Judy looked at him anxiously afterwards; she could tell somehow that his bright blue eyes were seeing something from far, far away, and that the memories were very sad. She coughed in an attempt to bring him back.

  Latt looked at her. “I was an uncle. The baby was a girl, and she had big, blue eyes like yours.” He watched Judy blush, then continued, looking at Ruth. “She was beautiful.” He picked up his fork and pushed a morsel of food across his plate. “My ssister died the next day; the baby lasted a few more hours.” He cleared his throat and changed the subject somewhat. “Do many babies die here?”

  Ruth shook her head, temporarily unable to speak due to the lump in her throat. She swallowed, tried again.

  “Here, in North America, almost all babies live to grow up and become old men and women. And that process takes more than seventy years, usually. But there are countries where there is much hunger and disease. Isaac and I support two children in Africa, so that they can have food, clothing and education. Many others do similar things.”

  “Judy, why don’t you tell us about yourself now?” Isaac began, after a brief period of silence, hoping to raise everyone’s spirits enough to allow them to enjoy their meal.

  “There’s not much to say,” she protested, seemingly surprised that he would be interested.

  “Please,” Latt implored. “It would help me to understand this world, and you, too!”

  “All right,” she responded. “But only if you start eating your appetiser.”

  Latt nodded and took a mouthful. He smiled as he savoured the delicate taste.

  “That’s better!” Judy took a small amount to taste, too, and chewed it rapidly. “Ruth told me how much you liked food when she first got to know you; I had hoped the initial interest hadn’t worn off.”

  “No, it hasn’t,” he replied. “And you were right, Ruth, this iss much nicer than the stuff we had from the freezer-truck.”

  Ruth grinned and shook her curly hair back as she remembered his enthusiasm for TV dinners.

  “I’m from Denver originally,” Judy began at last. “That’s mainly south of here in the U.S., but it’s high up in the mountains, not on the Prairie like Edmonton,” she explained as she remembered his limited knowledge of Earth. “I was an only child, but my mother had to work at the food store, so I didn’t see her very much. I never liked learning until I had a real good science teacher in grade twelve, then I studied really hard. I got to go to university a year late, by working and saving every penny after I graduated from High School. I thought I’d have to take an extra year to complete my course, as things were getting expensive, but when my mother died unexpectedly I inherited enough from her savings to get me through. I won a grant to do post-graduate work, worked in a couple of labs afterwards, then I joined NUIT.” She shrugged her shoulders depreciatingly. “That’s me!”

  Ruth read between the lines and started to guess at some of the possible reasons for Judy’s withdrawn personality. She doesn’t seem nearly so withdrawn tonight, though. She watched as the surprisingly pretty young woman turned to Latt once more. So that’s it, she really does like him!

  “So you didn’t have a father?” Latt asked incautiously.

  “Sorry, yes, I did – well, a step-dad, but he went away,” Judy’s eyes dropped to her meal and the rest of the appetiser was consumed in silence.

  “As this is Thanksgiving time,” Isaac began as the waiter deposited their main courses in front of them. “I’d like to tell you about one of the traditions that I inherited from my father. It’s one that Ruth and I like to observe every year, and sometimes we do it even when it’s not Thanksgiving.”

  Ruth smiled in anticipation as Latt and Judy looked at her husband with interest in this new development.

  “We each take turns telling what is the one thing we possess that we are most thankful for. I’ll do mine first, then Ruth will do hers, to give you two time to think. Then we’ll get you, please Judy, if you’d like to participate,
and finally Latt.” He paused and looked at them each in turn, noting that he had their attention and that they had not raised any objections to his proposal.

  “The one thing I value more than anything else I have,” Isaac said with great sincerity. “Is the part of my life which began just over two months ago. If it were not for my dear friend Latt, I would not have the privilege of giving thanks this day, so I take this opportunity to express my gratitude to him, for taking a stand against impossible odds, and winning, so I can be here, with friends and my wonderful wife beside me. Thank you.”

  Latt stared at him, the emotions he had not yet learned to control or even become comfortably familiar with, threatening already to blur his vision and hamper his ability to swallow.

  “No, don’t say anything,” Isaac said gently. “It’s Ruth’s turn now.”

  “My freedom has always been very important to me, but since the time when it was taken away, albeit very briefly, I have treasured every opportunity to choose, even trivial things like what to have for breakfast, the style of my dress for tonight, or what make of car to buy. Without you, Latt, I wouldn’t even have the freedom to live. Thank you,” she said, simply and sincerely.

  Judy turned and looked at the strangely attractive man from Rhaal. He sat in silence, his eyes downcast, and she could see the tracks of tears as they crept down his cheeks. He looked up suddenly, catching Judy off-guard.

  “I’m happy, really,” he insisted, and was rewarded by an embarrassed smile from her. “I have now what I never had before. I need to tell you all a little more about my life first, sso you will understand.” His voice sounded a little hoarse, so he cleared his throat experimentally.

  “After my ssister and her baby died, I found that none of the others had any time for me. Looking back, I am sure it was because they were barely able to feed themselves, and perhaps I was an uncomfortable reminder of the death of one they had loved after a fashion, or as much as a drugged and starved person was capable of. Also, the baby was a reason to hope, or perhaps to dream of a better life in the future, vaguely and without any real hope of it becoming a reality. Once that was gone, I think they gave up.

  “A while later, I don’t know how long, I went wandering down the hill – it was in the afternoon, I remember that much. I don’t really know why, but I think I had always wanted to find out what was below the clouds that always hung below us, obscuring the lower half of the valley. When I got close to it, the stuff looked thicker and more yellow than I could ever have imagined it to be from the ledge outside our cave. I took a deep breath and allowed myself to slide down through the clammy vapours. I dislodged a lot of small rocks and went further than I anticipated. The cloud didn’t thin out, and I began to get scared.

  “I scrambled back upwards, but the loose surface betrayed me; it took too long, I had to breathe. The fumes choked me, and I panicked. Somehow I got back above the cloud level and collapsed in a hollow in the steep valley wall. When I got my breath back, I started to climb, to go back to the cave. But something about the fall, or just the difficulty of the climb, caused me to go slightly off to one side; I must have passed the cave, because the next thing I saw was a smooth and hard flat surface, bordered by rock faces with regular patterns, extending back into the cliff until the darkness swallowed up the details. I knew nothing of this, so I went inside.

  “Of course you have guessed it was the lair of the Controllers. I was caught and put to work. Somehow I managed to show my willingness and ability to perform; they gave me more and more complex tasks, and I did them. I would do anything as long as they fed me. And they did. After several years, I progressed into the technical maintenance section, and from there into what you might call the space mechanics division. I remember that better than anything from before, because the work used the mind more than the body, and the food was more plentiful, although it was not any more nutritious. Then came the search for a new home, and the Controllers picked me as the maintenance man for one of the ships.

  “In all those years as a slave, most of the time I worked alone. Apart from the supervising Controllers, of course. I think they knew that isolation would prevent any organised, united rebellion from being planned, though I doubt they ever seriously considered that humans were capable of such dynamic action. Probably with the effects of their food slowly poisoning us to death, they were right. Contact with other humans was brief, and I don’t remember ever meeting the same one twice.” He leaned back, his eyes filling once again. “You’ve probably guessed that my most valued possession is the opportunity to have relationships with people. Especially my friends, both those who rescued me from a life barely worth living, and those I have made since my arrival in your land.” At this point he looked from Isaac and Ruth over to Judy.

  Suddenly she realised that Latt had turned his interruption into his response, and that he had finished. It was her turn now, and instead of thinking about her own answer, all she had done was listen to the others.

  “Before I joined NUIT, I always felt like I was running away,” she began hesitantly. “First it was from my past, then from anyone who seemed interested in me, in case they turned out like–” She stopped herself and looked angrily at the half-eaten meal before her. “What I mean is, even with NUIT at first, I thought that they were all the same, so I had to keep them away from me.”

  Judy had not mentioned specifically what she was referring to, but Ruth correlated her reluctance to mention her stepfather with her half-finished sentence and guessed what she meant she was trying to avoid. Ruth kept quiet, waiting for Judy to continue.

  “Now I know I have some good friends, like Ed and Leroy, and you,” she glanced up briefly at Ruth. “Isaac, and Latt too, I hope, once I get to know all of you more. I guess I’m grateful for people I can trust, for friends who are really just that.” She finished her speech nervously, and looked around, trying to avoid the three faces which she felt were watching her.

  “Thank you, both of you, for being open and sharing with us.” Isaac looked at his wife and grinned. “We found it more difficult to do this with our friends the first couple of years we were married, but now… ”

  “Now we’d better finish up our main course,” Ruth suggested cheerily. “I think it’s almost time to introduce Latt to ‘the dessert’.”

  Chapter Seventeen

  Reception Quality∝ Signal Strength – Cavoonar, Arshonnan antenna technician

  An hour and a half later, the leisurely and very satisfying restaurant experience over, Judy pulled up the steep, ridged concrete of the access ramp, drove across the largely empty surface of the upper parking level at West Edmonton Mall and stopped as near as she could to the multiple doors. She got out into the crisp night air, pulling her simulated fur coat hastily closed as the cold percolated through her thin dress. She felt a little conspicuous now in her restaurant finery, but a part of her was glad that she could be seen in such exclusive company. Even if, to everyone else, he looks like just another man.

  Latt walked around the rear end of the vehicle and looked at her uncertainly.

  “I was talking about trust earlier, now it’s your turn to trust me,” she said to him in a soothing voice before turning towards the mall entrance. “Look, it’s a bit icy; could you, would you mind if…”

  Latt’s expression changed to one of comprehension and he took hold of her hand and walked beside her towards the doors.

  “I didn’t understand some of your explanations about your past,” he began, evidently as a result of much contemplation in the vehicle after they left Isaac and Ruth at the hotel.

  Judy had felt uneasy at the silence during the short journey, but now she felt that perhaps there was someone she could tell it all too, without fear or repercussion. She waited while he opened one of the doors and slipped into the warmness inside while he held it for her.

  “First come and look at this. Then I’ll tell you about it, without trying to hide anything.” She walked with him across the marbled floor
and out towards the open space under the huge glass-domed roof.

  Latt looked down at the large sheet of ice on the rink below them with evident confusion. “What’s it for?” he asked finally, as they leaned against the glass barrier together.

  “It’s for skating. People put on special boots that have a thin metal edge beneath them, and sort of slide across it. You would see them at it, but it’s pretty late now, so nothing is open here.”

  “Is this for exercise?”

  “Partly, yes, but mostly for fun. I haven’t done it since I was a kid.”

  “Do you think you could teach me?”

  Judy smiled. “I’d be willing to try.” She took his hand again and led him around the side towards one of the long corridors that stretched away from the ‘Ice Palace’. “I like it best here late at night, when there’s no one else around,” she explained as she saw him looking in the windows of the darkened stores. “If you want a closer look at any of them, just say.”

  “Not really.” He looked back at her, and then down at his hand, still held in hers. “I can see what you mean,” Latt nodded finally, and they walked on in companionable silence for a while. “This is nicer than the restaurant.”

  “Sorry.” Judy laughed, amazed as she did so that she was so comfortable with this strange man that she could still find the conversation amusing, despite the dread that was causing a slightly sick feeling in the pit of her stomach, due to the determination she had reached to tell him about the worst events in her past. “I understand that is quite a compliment from you!”

  “I felt quite passsionately about good food when I first tasted it,” Latt grinned back. “But that feeling has faded a little now. That’s not meant to imply that I am enjoying this walk with you any lesss!” he added hurriedly.