by Sarah Bailey
OUR
DARKEST
HOUR
OUR DARKEST SERIES
BOOK ONE
SARAH BAILEY
Our Darkest Hour Copyright © 2020 by Sarah Bailey
All rights reserved. No part of this book may be reproduced in any form or by any electronic or mechanical means including information storage and retrieval systems, without permission in writing from the publisher. The only exception is by a reviewer, who may quote short excerpts in a review.
This book is a work of fiction. Names, characters, places, and incidents either are products of the author’s imagination or are used fictitiously. Any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, events, or locales is entirely coincidental.
Please note the spelling throughout is British English.
Cover Art by Sarah Bailey
Published by Twisted Tree Publications
www.twistedtreepublications.com
[email protected]
Contents
Prologue
Part I
Chapter One
Chapter Two
Chapter Three
Chapter Four
Chapter Five
Chapter Six
Chapter Seven
Chapter Eight
Chapter Nine
Chapter Ten
Chapter Eleven
Chapter Twelve
Chapter Thirteen
Chapter Fourteen
Chapter Fifteen
Chapter Sixteen
Chapter Seventeen
Part II
Chapter Eighteen
Chapter Nineteen
Chapter Twenty
Chapter Twenty One
Chapter Twenty Two
Chapter Twenty Three
Chapter Twenty Four
Chapter Twenty Five
Chapter Twenty Six
Chapter Twenty Seven
Chapter Twenty Eight
Chapter Twenty Nine
Chapter Thirty
Chapter Thirty One
Chapter Thirty Two
Chapter Thirty Three
Chapter Thirty Four
Chapter Thirty Five
Part III
Chapter Thirty Six
Chapter Thirty Seven
Chapter Thirty Eight
Chapter Thirty Nine
Chapter Forty
Chapter Forty One
Chapter Forty Two
Chapter Forty Three
Chapter Forty Four
Chapter Forty Five
Chapter Forty Six
Part IV
Chapter Forty Seven
Chapter Forty Eight
Chapter Forty Nine
Chapter Fifty
Chapter Fifty One
Chapter Fifty Two
Chapter Fifty Three
Chapter Fifty Four
Chapter Fifty Five
Chapter Fifty Six
Chapter Fifty Seven
Chapter Fifty Eight
Chapter Fifty Nine
Chapter Sixty
Chapter Sixty One
Chapter Sixty Two
Chapter Sixty Three
Epilogue
Acknowledgements
About The Author
To the most beautiful, wonderful, kind and caring soul in my life! Sabrina.
You give me life every day. I wouldn’t be where I am without you. And neither would Rhys and Aaron.
Prologue
There’s a type of love in this world which digs its way inside of you, taking root deep in your bones, latching onto every part of you and sinking deep into your soul. It tears you into a thousand tiny pieces and eviscerates your very being. That type of love is damaging, bruising, overwhelming and completely devastating.
I guess that’s the type of love I was always destined to have. This love of ours wasn’t meant for fairy tales or dreams. It was built to burn, wreck and ruin. It came into our lives like a storm, bringing havoc in its wake. Two souls crashed together and destroyed the world around them.
A love like ours wasn’t meant to exist. It wasn’t meant to grow. It wasn’t meant for us. And even in our darkest hour, it was the only flame left keeping us both alive. Until that flame went out.
We crashed.
We burned.
We died.
The one I thought was my fairy tale ended up being the ultimate instrument of our destruction. And the love I once felt left me a hollow shell of myself with a cold, blackened heart.
Now in the ashes of our demise, there’s only one thing I know for certain.
Aaron Jackson Parrish ruined my life.
And I’ll never forgive him for it.
Part I
captivate
verb, cap·ti·vat·ed, cap·ti·vat·ing.
to attract and hold the attention or interest of, as by beauty or excellence; enchant.
Chapter One
I never thought on the first day of school after the summer holidays I’d be cowering away from a kid twice my size. Dread seized my muscles, making them ache with tension and fear. Perhaps it might have been the fact my father was a notorious waste of space who constantly cheated on my mother and lived on the dole. No one in our estate liked him. Didn’t mean I should be subject to the same ridicule. It wasn’t like I’d asked to be born. Funny that even at seven years old, I understood what type of person my father had turned out to be. I understood he hated me. And I understood I wasn’t wanted.
“You’re going to grow up to be a little fag, aren’t you? Look at you, I bet you’re about to piss your pants,” the boy taunted, his cruelty making me want to throw up.
I had done nothing but walk across the playground to hide away from all the other kids in my uniform, which didn’t fit me properly. I didn’t have any friends. An outcast in a world which had given me very little to begin with. So this was just par for the course.
“Leave me alone,” I whispered, unable to speak any louder as fear froze me in place.
I got a punch in the gut for that.
“Shut up, you little fag.”
I almost doubled over, clutching my stomach as pain shot through me. This kid had to be at least ten. I stared up at him blankly as I tried to ignore how much his punch hurt.
“You don’t even know what that is, do you, gay boy?”
Why is he calling me that?
“I’m not… I’m not gay.”
He opened his mouth to say something else when a fist flew out of nowhere and connected with his jaw. The boy staggered backwards, clutching it in pain. He swung around to see who the fist belonged to. Next to me, a boy who looked my age stood tall, his blue-grey eyes steely and his blonde hair blowing in the slight breeze.
“Go pick on someone your own size.”
The kid who’d been bullying me stared at the newcomer with shock written all over his features. As if it surprised him to see whoever this boy was defending me. Then he straightened, shrugging it off like it was nothing.
“Whatever. If you want to hang out with gay boy over here, you’re welcome to him.” He glared at me. “I’m watching you.”
He walked away, but not before I caught him rubbing his jaw. I wasn’t sure what just happened, only that whoever this person was, they’d saved me. I turned to him, still holding my stomach. Blue-grey eyes stared at the retreating bully with distaste.
“You should stay away from Valentine.”
I almost coughed in surprise. He’d talked to me and the bully’s name was Valentine? I wanted to laugh, but the noise
got caught in my throat. I didn’t laugh at anything. There was no joy in my life at all. So how had this boy I didn’t even know almost drag the sound out of me? I didn’t like the feeling. Happiness wasn’t something I happened to be well versed in.
“I didn’t do anything,” I mumbled.
His eyes landed on me then, the softness of his expression made me feel odd. No one except Mum had ever looked at me with any sort of kindness.
“No?”
I shook my head. He crossed his arms over his chest. He was as tall as me, but he wasn’t a skinny rake like me. I suppose when you don’t get fed properly at home, you end up looking like a bean pole. Some might say I suffered from neglect, but my mum tried her best. Wasn’t her fault my dad kept spending all the money we got off the government on alcohol and cigarettes.
“I’m Aaron and you can thank me at any time.”
I blinked. The arrogant glint in his eye made me wary of saying anything. Then he broke into a grin and slapped me around the shoulder, making me jolt.
“Kidding.”
I rubbed my shoulder. As much as I appreciated him getting Valentine away from me, I was also wary of his intentions. What does this boy want? I wasn’t at school to make friends. My mum made me come. And I wanted to get away from the house so I didn’t have to be around when my father started drinking and calling her names. He usually left to go out to the pub for the night before I got home.
“You’re a quiet one.”
Talking wasn’t my strong point. I didn’t participate much in class and kept to myself. Easier that way. Didn’t have to explain to anyone about my home life or why some days I wondered why I even existed when I wasn’t wanted in this world.
“Thanks,” I muttered.
“You’re welcome.” He smiled. “You’re Rhys, right?”
I wasn’t sure how he knew that, but I nodded.
“I saw you in class. We’re in the same year group.”
I shrugged. Honestly, I hadn’t noticed him. Then again, I didn’t look at anyone around me. Sometimes I felt so adrift. I didn’t tend to care who or what was in my vicinity as long as they didn’t bother me. It’s why I’d been a little miffed at Valentine giving me a hard time. I hadn’t done anything. I kept out of everyone’s way and never brought attention to myself. It’s how I liked things. Blending into the background so no one could see how much I was dying on the inside.
“Am I going to have to do all the talking? I mean, I don’t mind or anything, but it might get boring after a while. For you, that is. I won’t get bored.”
I didn’t want him talking to me in the first place. Being alone was my MO. That’s how it’d always been.
“Didn’t ask you to talk to me.”
“He speaks!”
I didn’t glare at him, but I wanted to. This Aaron had started to get on my nerves. Also, why was he standing so close to me? I didn’t like anyone in my personal space. It made my skin itch uncomfortably.
“Why are you still here?”
I didn’t like being rude to people considering I had nothing against them. Usually. Wasn’t their fault they didn’t understand me. Something about Aaron riled me up the wrong way. The way he stood watching me with this expectant look in his eyes as if I owed him my friendship after he got rid of Valentine for me.
Who does this boy think he is?
“All right, I see when I’m not wanted.” He tipped an imaginary hat at me. “But you know, if you ever want a friend or just to talk or anything, you can come to me. Also, if Valentine gets in your face again, I’ll handle it.”
With that, he walked off after digging his hands in his pockets. He looked back over his shoulder at me, those blue-grey eyes betraying a hint of confusion and sadness in them. As if he knew how much I was hurting. As if he knew I didn’t want to be in this world.
I turned away, not wanting his stupid gaze or his sympathy. Just because he’d saved me from a bully, didn’t mean I owed him anything.
The bell for the end of break rang. I ambled back towards the school building unable to shake the feeling my life was about to take a turn in a direction which scared me.
I didn’t want a friend.
I didn’t want someone to talk to.
And I certainly didn’t want to see Aaron, whoever he was again.
Chapter Two
Within moments of sitting down in my usual spot at the back of the class, I found the seat to my right occupied. I scowled, realising Aaron had taken it upon himself to sit next to me. Usually, the stragglers sat beside me and they didn’t talk to me. Guess you could say most people ignored the weird skinny kid. Not Aaron, apparently.
“Do you like history?”
I stared at him blankly.
Why is he talking to me again? Why is he sitting here? Surely, he could sit with those girls staring at him, giggling away between themselves. They’re better company than me.
“You don’t have to talk. Can just nod yes or no.”
I wanted him to go away. Wanted not to have to deal with this kid taking an interest in me when no one else had. No one else cared enough. So why did he?
“Oh, you like history too? That’s cool, maybe we can do homework together some time.”
I blinked.
Is he trying to make me look stupid?
Didn’t need help with my homework anyway. My mum always told me I was smart. Too smart for my own good. Probably why my reading age was so far ahead of where I should be. I read in the school library a lot last year since she couldn’t afford to buy me books. The librarian, Miss Forrest, always had new recommendations for me.
“I like reading,” I mumbled, hoping if I gave him something, he would leave me alone.
He grinned at me. I had a suspicion it was his goal to get me to say something to him.
The teacher, Miss Allen, started class, saving me from being pestered by Aaron any further. I spent the entirety of it ignoring his eyes on me. Funnily enough, it was a history lesson. And I didn’t want him knowing how much I liked learning. How I listened and took in everything, keeping it all stored up in my head for future reference. It was just about the only thing I could be proud of, my mum said anyway. She kept telling me what a good boy I was. I didn’t know if I believed her.
I actively tried to avoid Aaron for the rest of the day, but he was always there lurking like my shadow. And when I attempted to walk home as my mum couldn’t pick me up today, he walked with me. Not sure she should be letting her seven-year-old son walk home alone, but I didn’t exactly have a choice.
“You walking?”
I glanced at him but kept my pace, not wanting to stop and talk.
“My sister can give you a lift if you want.”
I didn’t respond to that either. As if I wanted him knowing where I lived.
“Rhys.”
I stopped dead and turned to him.
“Why won’t you leave me alone?”
He looked taken aback by my outburst and I realised my tone had been harsh. Couldn’t be helped. He was getting on my nerves.
“I don’t know you. I don’t have any wish to know you. Just leave me be. I don’t need anyone.”
If only that was true. I was lonely. So lonely some days I wondered if anyone would care if I didn’t exist. My mum would, but my dad not so much. He would love it if I wasn’t around taking up space. I hated him. And most of all, I hated myself.
Aaron didn’t seem offended by my words. He cocked his head to the side, blue-grey eyes assessing me. They looked like storm clouds right then, the grey more pronounced as if it bothered him I was being so difficult.
“Just let me ask my sister to take you home, okay? She won’t mind.”
I let out a puff of air.
“Fine.”
He gave me a bright smile and I wanted to smile back despite myself. A stupid involuntary reaction. He indicated I should follow him with a nod of his head. I trudged along by his side, avoidin
g all eye contact. Why would his sister be taking him home? How old was she? Did he have any other siblings?
Why do you care?
I didn’t. As far as I was concerned, I wanted nothing more to do with Aaron.
“Usually my au pair, Tamara, picks me up, but she’s sick so Harriet is coming instead.”
I didn’t know what an au pair was, but I imagined she was some kind of nanny, which meant Aaron certainly didn’t live on an estate like me. Only people with money could afford nannies.
“Can I ask why no one is picking you up?”
I felt my face grow hot. It was embarrassing my mum couldn’t get me. Usually, she would, but my dad had given her a black eye in a drunken rage last night. She didn’t want the other mums or teachers seeing it. Everyone on the estate knew Graham King beat on his wife and was having an affair with Maggie Polton from two doors down. My mum ignored the stares and gossip, preferring to keep to herself.
“Mum can’t today.” Or tomorrow. Or the next day.
We reached a huge Range Rover with blacked-out windows. I stared at the car wondering why anyone needed one in a city but decided it wasn’t worth questioning. A woman stood by the driver’s door. She looked exactly like Aaron with the same blonde hair, but her eyes were bluer.
“There you are,” the woman I assumed was Harriet, his sister said.
“Is it okay if we give Rhys a lift home?”
He waved a hand at me. I shrunk back a little when she looked me over.
“A new friend?”
“I guess.”
We aren’t friends.
“Is Rhys’ mum not getting him?”
“No. Didn’t think I should let him walk home alone.”
Harriet gave me the once over again.
“I’m Aaron’s sister, Harriet. How about you boys get in and you can tell me where to drop you?”
Aaron opened the back door and ushered me in. I climbed in the huge car reluctantly. Why had I agreed to this? It was such a bad idea, but I didn’t want to run into Valentine again, nor did I enjoy walking home alone either.