The Fairy-Tale Matchmaker

by E. D. Baker

  Her uncle swallowed his last bite of toast. “Or that of the person who buys it,” he said. “Sorry, but I have to run. I have some students coming in early for extra help this morning. I’ll see you this afternoon. Noodles, it’s just going to be you, me, and Flicket for dinner tonight, so think about what you’d like to eat. I know—how about lettuce!” he said with a chuckle.

  Cory waved good-bye as her uncle left the kitchen. She didn’t have very many relatives, but he’d always been her favorite, partly because he was the only one with a sense of humor. When she heard the front door close, she turned back to the ads. A few people had listed houses for sale. Below that were ads placed by people looking for things.

  * * *

  WANTED

  A flying broom built for two. Must have seat belts and good brakes.

  WANTED

  Unicorn halter for smaller unicorn. Prefer silver with gold trim.

  WANTED

  Hairbrush for giant. New or used.

  * * *

  “Look, Noodles, it’s the same giant who’s selling his toothbrush,” she said after checking the contact information.

  * * *

  WANTED

  Three-bedroom house. Must be cozy and have nice garden. No sties, please!

  WANTED

  Gingerbread cottage with large oven. Secluded area preferred.

  * * *

  “I didn’t see anything interesting today,” she told the animals. “I suppose I could go try out Uncle Micah’s idea on Marjorie’s spiders.”

  Flicket flicked his tail, dropped the last empty shell, and scurried out the open window. Noodles snorted and rubbed his jaw against Cory’s ankle, his eyes still closed. Edging her foot from beneath the sleeping woodchuck’s head, she went into the main room to send a message.

  Dear Marjorie,

  Can I come visit you this morning?

  I have something I want to try on the spiders.

  Cory

  She was tapping her foot, wondering if she was wasting her time, when she heard a ping! and a reply landed in the basket.

  Sure! Come on over!

  Marjorie

  Cory was still reading Marjorie’s note when a message from her mother arrived.

  Cory, we need to talk. You can’t just walk away from the TFG. Family is very important to me, and I had hoped that being a tooth fairy would become a family tradition. We all have to make sacrifices and do things that we don’t want to do, so don’t be so selfish. If you are worried about the amount you are making for collecting teeth, you must know that the tooth market is down right now and will be going back up soon. I’m sure of it. You’ll also get better at collecting with practice.

  If you don’t return to the TFG, have you thought of what you might do instead? There isn’t a lot out there for a fairy without the right kind of formal training. I want to sit down and discuss this …

  Cory had read more than enough. Crumpling the message into a ball, she tossed it into the garbage basket and went back into the kitchen to get Noodles. While she was out, the woodchuck was going to stay in her bedroom along with his chew toys. She didn’t want her uncle to have any reason to ask her to leave.

  Marjorie was waiting for Cory when she arrived. She was seated on the garden bench again with a large book in her hand and a small table bearing two pink tulip cups beside her. This time she was thumbing through A Tour of Fairy Gardens. Spider-size smudges stained the cover.

  “Oh, good, you’re here!” Marjorie exclaimed when Cory returned to her human size. “Come sit down. Would you like some mint lemonade? The mint is from my garden. I’m so glad you came. I have a lot to tell you. First of all, I know you don’t really want the job I offered you, but I think you should take it.”

  “Have the spiders gotten worse since yesterday?” Cory asked, sitting down with one of the tulip cups in her hand.

  “Oh, no, nothing like that. It’s just that I’ve received an anonymous message telling me not to hire you. It said that you were still under obligation to the Tooth Fairy Guild and weren’t free to pursue another career. I got so mad when I read it! I think what they’re doing is underhanded and sneaky. We can’t let the big guilds dictate how we live our lives! That’s why I think you really should become my spider stomper. I know your feet aren’t much bigger than mine, but we can figure something out.”

  “I really appreciate the offer, but to tell the truth, I already have something else in mind. My uncle recommended a spray we can use on the spiders. He’s not sure it will work, but it’s worth a try.”

  “I saw a huge one in the kitchen this morning,” said Marjorie.

  “The bigger the better!” Cory replied. “If it works on a really big one, we’ll know that it’ll work on any of them.”

  Marjorie led her to the back door that opened into a bright, sunny kitchen with yellow walls and white cupboards. A spider the size of a small dog squatted on the kitchen table, turning to look at them when they entered the room.

  Cory dug into her pocket for the small bottle of spray that she’d taken from her uncle’s shed. If this worked, she’d come back with a bigger bottle.

  “Have your book ready in case this doesn’t work,” Cory told Marjorie.

  Darting toward the table, Cory squirted the liquid on the spider, nearly stumbling over her own feet backing away when it looked as if the creature was about to jump on her. Instead of jumping, however, the spider twitched, shook itself, staggered to the edge of the table, and fell off. Cory held her breath while the spider lay still, but a moment later it was back on its feet, limping out of the kitchen.

  Suddenly, Marjorie sneezed so explosively that Cory jumped, startled. She began to worry when the poor girl couldn’t stop sneezing. When Marjorie finally stopped, she was so weak that she had to sit down. Taking a lace handkerchief from her pocket, she patted her streaming eyes dry and said, “Even if it had worked, I don’t think we could have used that spray in here.”

  “I guess not,” Cory said with a sigh. “We’ll just have to think of something else. Say, I’m going to meet a friend for dinner tonight. Why don’t you join us? It should be fun.”

  “I’d love to!” said Marjorie. “Do you know how long it’s been since I ate out with friends? It’s been … so long that I can’t remember when. See, I knew something good would come out of that ad!”

  Another note from her mother was waiting for Cory when she returned to her uncle Micah’s house. She threw it away without reading it. After letting Noodles snuffle around the yard and nibble grass, she took him back inside. The woodchuck was rattling his food dish when Cory began to make them each a salad for lunch; hers had dressing and his didn’t.

  Noodles was restless again after lunch, so she clipped his leash on his collar and took him for a walk around the neighborhood. They met a few other people walking their pets. A tall, thin genie walking a six-foot-long iguana introduced himself as Salazar, Micah’s next-door neighbor. A squat, little woman waddling behind her wild boar stopped long enough to say hello before her boar dragged her down the street. A girl with catlike eyes was walking a spotted leopard. When both the girl and the cat eyed Noodles hungrily, Cory decided it was time to go back to the house. Even so, she liked that there was such an interesting mix of people in her uncle’s neighborhood. Most of her mother’s neighbors were fairies. From what she understood, the majority of the neighborhoods in the town were made up of one kind of person or another, like fairies or genies or humans, with or without magic. Only a few neighborhoods had a mixture like her uncle’s.

  By the time they reached the house, Micah was there, sitting on the front porch with a cup of cider in his hand and Flicket the squirrel on his shoulder. “How was your day?” he asked, leaning down to pet Noodles. Flicket chattered at the woodchuck, flicking his bushy tail up and down.

  Cory brushed birdseed off the other chair before sitting down. “I tried your spray on the spiders. It made Marjorie sneeze a lot, and when I say a lot I mean I thought she wa
s going to pass out from lack of air.”

  “That’s not good,” said Micah.

  “I know,” Cory replied. “I’ll just have to keep looking for something that will work.”

  An hour later, Cory was wearing a short turquoise dress the same color as her eyes. Her uncle even told her how nice she looked as she was on her way out the door. She couldn’t remember her mother ever giving her a compliment.

  Daisy was waiting by the door when Cory arrived at the restaurant. “What do you think?” Cory said after greeting her friend. “I’ve never been here before but I heard that the food is good and the atmosphere is even better.”

  “It looks great so far,” Daisy said as a handsome satyr approached them. “Table for two,” she told the waiter.

  “Make that three,” said Cory. “I asked Marjorie Muffet to join us. I hope you don’t mind.”

  “Not at all,” Daisy said over her shoulder as they followed the waiter to their table. “I always liked Marjorie.”

  “So, why did you say Nimzy is a jerk?” Cory asked her as they took their seats.

  Daisy waited until the waiter had given them their menus and trotted away before answering.

  “He left for an out-of-town race and didn’t tell me until the last minute. I spend all my free time with him, and he can’t even tell me that he’s going to be away.” Daisy pursed her lips and shrugged. “Boys! I don’t know why I bother!”

  Marjorie walked in just as Cory was about to mention how unthinking Walker could be. Instead she waved to her friend and gestured for her to join them. On any other girl, the pale, pink sleeveless dress with the darker pink bow tied in the back might have made her look like a child, but Marjorie looked soft and pretty and very grown-up.

  “That’s Little Miss Muffet?” Daisy whispered to Cory.

  Marjorie smiled her thanks at the waiter, who looked slightly stunned and didn’t leave until she turned away. “Hi, ladies!” she said to Cory and Daisy. “I’m sorry I’m late. It took me forever to decide what to wear. I saw some people setting up on the stage when I was coming in. I didn’t know there was going to be music!”

  “Neither did I,” said Cory. “I wonder who it is.”

  The waiter came back then and the girls all ordered salad. They had nearly finished eating their dinner when Cory noticed that Daisy had grown very quiet and was staring at someone across the room. “What is it?” Cory asked, turning to look behind her. When she saw him, she felt as if someone had punched her.

  “Who are you looking at?” Marjorie asked, turning to look as well. “Is it that handsome fairy kissing the girl with the long blond hair? He looks like he should be someone famous. Do you know who he is?”

  Cory swallowed and nodded. “That’s Walker. My ex-boyfriend.”

  Marjorie frowned. “You look upset. Did you break up recently?”

  “Like, two seconds ago,” said Daisy. “She just learned what a cheating glob of pond scum he is. I’m so sorry you had to learn it this way, Cory.” Daisy leaned across the table and patted Cory’s fisted hand. “I heard what he was doing, and I wanted to tell you. I was going to the other day, but then you saw Noodles eating your mother’s shoe.”

  “You know, girls,” Marjorie said with a bright smile on her face, “ditching deadweight is never a bad thing.”

  Cory had been with Walker since Junior Fey School and had never thought about going out with anyone else. Although she hadn’t been madly in love with him, she had always assumed that he was faithful and it hurt to find out that he wasn’t. She’d known that he wasn’t happy she’d quit the guild, but she’d thought they could weather anything. For a moment she wondered if he was seeing someone else because he was angry with her, but then she realized that that couldn’t be the reason. If Daisy knew about it, it must have been going on for a while. Marjorie was right. Walker was deadweight. She didn’t need him. She didn’t need her mother, either. She didn’t need anyone but her friends and her uncle and Noodles. Tears prickled behind her eyes and she had to fight not to run from the restaurant.

  “Look, the band is about to start,” Daisy said.

  Cory was too caught up in her own misery to pay attention to the band, but after they had played for a few minutes, the music finally got through to her. It was a blues band and the trumpeter was exceptional. She noticed the rapt expressions on her friends’ faces before she turned around. When she did, her own jaw dropped. The musician playing the trumpet was Johnny Blue, the same person who had saved her from the dogs the morning of her last collection.

  Cory studied Johnny Blue’s face while he played. His eyes were closed and his cheeks were puffed out as he blew life into his song. It was obvious that he was lost in his music and that, at that moment, nothing else mattered to him. In the human world he might have been considered ugly, but not in the fey world, where full-blooded trolls were so hideous that they could frighten their own mothers. Cory had always thought Johnny Blue had an interesting face. Now, despite his puffed-out cheeks, Cory thought he looked almost handsome in a craggy-faced, big-featured sort of way.

  No one talked while the musicians played, but the moment they stopped for a break, Daisy turned to Cory and said, “That’s why Walker is here! He came to see Blue!”

  “I bet you’re right,” Cory admitted. “They’ve been best friends for years. Blue even filled in for Walker the other night. Walker is a sandman,” she explained to Marjorie. “They call Blue the Boogie Man, so I always thought he went to the human world to scare little children.”

  “He is scary looking enough,” said Daisy. “But he sure does know how to boogie! He’s the best trumpet player I’ve ever heard! I don’t know why we never heard him play before.”

  “I’d love to meet him,” Marjorie said. “I think he has an intriguing face. Is he seeing anyone?”

  “Not that I know of,” said Cory.

  “Do you think you could introduce me to him?” Marjorie asked. “Most of the people in my neighborhood are old. I never get to meet anyone who doesn’t have white hair or walk with a cane.”

  “Sure,” said Cory. “We might as well do it now before they start playing again. They should be finished with their break soon.”

  Blue was just coming out of the manager’s office when Cory reached the hallway. He looked surprised to see her, and when he glanced toward Walker, she understood why. “I didn’t know you played the trumpet,” she said. She didn’t want to talk about Walker now, not when the pain was so fresh, but from the look on Blue’s face, she couldn’t help but feel that he had known all along and felt sorry for her. The last thing she wanted was Walker’s best friend’s sympathy. “We all thought you sounded fantastic! You’ve met Daisy before, haven’t you? And this is our friend Marjorie.”

  “Hi!” said Daisy.

  “It’s nice to meet you,” Marjorie said, extending her hand to Blue.

  Blue’s irregular features twisted into a smile as he took Marjorie’s hand in his. When Cory’s stomach started to feel queasy, she wondered if she might have gotten food poisoning. “I think I need to go home now,” she told her friends. “I’d love to stay and hear your next set,” she said to Blue, “but I think something I ate isn’t agreeing with me. Daisy and I are in a band, too. It’s called Zephyr. We’ll be playing at Sprats’ Friday night. It would be great if you could come see us.”

  Marjorie nodded. “I’ll be there!”

  Cory was turning to go when she glanced at Blue again. He was looking at her and seemed almost sad, but the moment passed and he turned back to Marjorie, who was talking and still holding his hand. Cory’s stomach lurched as she started for the door, hoping that she wasn’t coming down with something.

  Chapter 7

  “You got another message,” her uncle said the next morning. “You might want to read this one.”

  Micah had witnessed her throw out two unread messages from her mother when she returned home from dinner the night before, so she wasn’t surprised he thought that she’d thr
ow out another. This one wasn’t from her mother, however. It was an official notice from the TFG.

  “It’s a list of all the rules and regulations I’ll be breaking if I resign. They’re offering me the chance to come back without a blemish on my record if I do it now,” Cory told him after reading it. “I think this is a very important piece of information and I must treat it with the respect it is due.” Crumpling the message into a ball, she tossed it in the garbage.

  “You can’t do that indefinitely,” her uncle told her with a shake of his head. “Sooner or later you’re going to have to empty the garbage.”

  “I’ll make that one of my official duties around here,” Cory said with a smile.

  Micah drank the last of his juice and set his cup on the table. “I’m going to be later than usual tonight. I have a planning meeting with the rest of my department.”

  “Then I probably won’t be here when you get home,” said Cory. “My band is rehearsing at Olot’s.”

  Ping! Another message appeared in the woven basket. Cory opened it even though it was from her mother.

  Cory,

  You are making an enormous mistake. I am telling you this only because I love you. It upsets me terribly that you have not responded to my other messages, which leads me to believe that you are as stubborn as your grandfather. I wish that you and I could …

  Cory had read enough, and her mother’s note joined the others in the garbage. There wasn’t any point in reading them, because they all said the same thing. Except, what did her mother mean about Cory’s grandfather? Delphinium and Micah’s father was the only grandfather Cory had ever known, and he was a big mushball when it came to his wife. He did everything she asked, saying it was the only way to promote marital harmony. He was a lot of things, but no one could call him stubborn. Cory didn’t mention this to either Micah or Noodles, however. Her uncle was headed out the door and didn’t have time to listen, while Noodles was cleaning himself in a highly personal way.