by Alex Wolf
All the same, I glance around, missing him more than ever and wishing he was here and things between us were okay again.
It pains me to say it, but Dexter was right. Their plan is working, slowly but surely. This morning I wouldn’t have given Deacon the time of day, and now I already find myself willing to hear him out.
Stupid men!
Now, we’re up in the VIP suite. Dad’s drinking non-alcoholic beer because of his medications but he doesn’t mind. He’s doing what he loves. He’s living again, and I have to bite back the emotions swirling inside me.
“Enjoying yourself?” Dexter nudges up against me.
“Okay. I’ll admit, this is incredible. Thank you so much for making him happy.” I gesture toward Dad.
Dexter shrugs. “Don’t mention it. It’s nothing. We do it every Sunday when there’s a home game. He’s always welcome.”
Several seconds pass between us and I twiddle my thumbs. “Where is he?” The question comes out before I can stop it.
Dexter turns. “He didn’t want to cause a scene or interrupt you and your Dad having a great time. He only cares that you two enjoy yourselves and he thought that might not happen if he showed up. He knows between the medical condition and work, school...” He pauses. “Shit. Sorry, he told me about law school.”
I shrug. “It doesn’t matter now. I’m sure he needed someone to talk to and it sounds like you were it. Which makes sense, twins and all that, right?”
Dexter nods. “Anyway, he knows you guys don’t get to go out and do stuff like this. Believe it or not, it’s not just some thing to win you back. His number one priority today is for you and your dad to have the best day ever. That’s all he cares about right now. I’m sure you guys have a ton of shit to work out, but it can wait.”
I wrap my arms around my center and wish Deacon was here so I could at least thank him.
“Stop overthinking this. Let your hair down and pretend you like football. Here, have a beer.” He hands me a bottle.
I try to do what he says and just enjoy this day for what it is and relax, but I can’t just turn off the way I feel like that. There’s no on and off switch.
Dexter grins. “I’m not normally this nice, so you could at least pretend to enjoy hanging out with me too.”
“Yeah, yeah.” I clink my bottle with his and take a big sip.
It does taste really good. I walk over to Dad, put my arm around his neck, and give him a gentle squeeze. “You having the best time ever or what?”
“Yeah, kiddo. I am.”
“Me too.”
I’m so in love with Deacon, but I just don’t know what to do. One question lingers at the back of my mind.
Is he doing this out of guilt or because he wants to make this work?
Deacon
I’ve hung back at a safe distance all day watching Quinn and her dad. There were a few moments where I swore she was looking around, trying to spot me. Maybe that’s wishful thinking on my part, but I’m going to believe it’s true.
It was damn near impossible not to run to her, wrap her in my arms, beg for her forgiveness, and tell her everything would be okay. I know it’s just my mind playing tricks on me. I doubt this plan has a single fucking chance of working after the way I treated her, but once Dexter told me his general idea—“Give Quinn the best day of her life without you there.”—I knew exactly what to do.
I didn’t even have to think twice. Even if she doesn’t take me back, I want her and her dad to have the best day ever. They deserve it after all the shit they’ve been through. This won’t be the last, either. Just like the flowers every Friday, I’ll never stop doing nice things for her.
I don’t want Quinn to work anywhere else. She belongs with me, every fucking day. I want to go to work with her and go home with her. We’ll have the American dream. She’ll move in with me, we’ll get married, and start making babies, if that’s what she wants. If she doesn’t want kids, I’ll get a damn vasectomy. I don’t give a shit. I just want to give her everything she wants for the rest of our lives.
I can see it all so vividly inside my head. Nothing will feel right again if Quinn doesn’t take me back. Nothing will matter if I don’t have her to share it with.
I’m not very religious but fuck me if I haven’t been saying silent prayers all damn day, making God all kinds of impossible promises I probably couldn’t live up to, if I could just get her back.
The fourth quarter ends but they haven’t left the suite yet. It’s time to make my move. My hands tremble like a rookie at the Super Bowl and my palms clam up. I played football at some of the highest levels possible and never got nervous, but now, I’m about to die.
The stakes have never been higher in my life. Because it’s my future on the line. I can’t live without her.
It’s now or never with Quinn and I can’t live with never. I walk to the entrance and give Dex the signal he came up with. I scratch my nose with my middle finger and roll my eyes at the same time.
He makes a circle with his index finger and thumb on his leg, then laughs when I look at it, because he’ll get to punch me in the arm later. He taps Abigail on the shoulder, and she wheels Mr. Richards toward the exit. After that, Dex smiles and actually gives me a thumbs up.
Maybe he has a heart after all.
Quinn hasn’t noticed me yet. I hear her voice call out from inside the room. “Where the hell are you taking him now?”
“After party with the players. Dad’s gonna be up late tonight. Don’t worry. He’s in good hands.”
I’m standing right outside the door as they wheel him out.
Abigail and Mr. Richards stop next to me.
I hold out my hand. “Hope you had a good time today, sir.”
“Yes, I did.” He holds his hand out, but scowls at me. He motions for me to lean down and I do. He grits in my ear, mustering up the most menacing tone he can, “Tread lightly. Hurt my daughter again and you’ll lose a knee. We understand each other?”
“Yes, sir.”
He straightens up and grins, like that’s all taken care of. “All right, then. If you’ll excuse me, this pretty lady is taking me to a party.”
Dex gives me a fist bump as he follows them out.
I step inside just as Quinn starts toward the door. She freezes in place and her face pales. Fuck, she looks like she’s about to cry, and I think my heart shatters into a million pieces, just watching her about to crumble.
Without hesitation, I run toward her, afraid she’s about to break down.
She holds up a hand before I get there and I stop in my tracks, holding my hands up.
“Sorry, I just, you looked…”
“It’s okay.”
I hook a thumb over my shoulder. “Look, I can go. It just seemed like…”
She shakes her head. “No, it’s okay. Now is good.”
“Look, Quinn, I’ve tried to think of the right things to say all day long. How, I mean what… God, this is hard. Just, nothing seemed good enough. I don’t think there are any words that are good enough.”
She stares down at the floor and I think it’s because she’s about to cry and doesn’t want me to see.
Fuck, I’m ruining this.
“Quinn, please, can you look at me?” Then, I feel it again, a fucking tear running down my cheek. I don’t try to hide it, though. I don’t try to push all the hurt back inside, because I don’t give a shit what anyone else thinks. I want her to know that seeing her in pain, pain that I caused, is the most excruciating experience of my life.
Her head tilts up and her eyes land on my cheek.
My voice starts to crack as I speak. “I-I’m sorry.”
Her face is pink, and I can’t tell if her tears are angry or if she’s just hurt.
“I overreacted. I just… I could rattle off a thousand excuses about shit, but I won’t. I don’t want to make any excuses. I’ve never done anything like that in my life. It’s not who I am, and I am truly sorry that I put you thro
ugh that and humiliated you the way I did.”
“I would never go behind your back, Deacon.” She wipes a tear from her eye. “I was at my desk talking to Tate when Beckley called. She was standing right there when I pulled up the contract. There was nothing I could do. I didn’t even realize you were the one who handled it until Decker pulled you into the conference room. You hurt me, Deacon. Crushed me. You broke my heart.”
It’s hard to look her in the eyes because I’m so ashamed, but I don’t dare look away because I deserve every bit of the pain. “I’m sorry. I’ll do whatever it takes. If you don’t want anything to do with me, I understand, and I’ll stay away. I just want you to be happy, even if that doesn’t include me.” I sniff again. “It will be absolute hell. Torture, even. But I’ll leave you alone.” Then, I do something I never thought I’d do in my entire life. It’s like my body has a mind of its own. I fall down on my knees in front of her.
Her eyes widen.
“I’m begging you, though. Please. I want another chance. It doesn’t have to be today, or tomorrow, or even a month from now. If you’ll just promise to give me one more chance, I swear I will make it up to you a thousand times over. I’ve never begged in my life, never asked anyone for anything, but a sliver of hope with you is worth a lifetime of begging.”
Her eyes soften a hint and more tears flow down her cheeks.
I want nothing more than to wrap her in my arms and kiss her so hard she’s dizzy, but I can’t. Not anymore. I gaze up at her green eyes and it’s hard not to get lost in them. “I love you, Quinn. I’ve been in love with you for a long time. As long as I’ve been sending you flowers. I should’ve told you sooner.”
Her eyes narrow. “Don’t say things you don’t mean, Deacon. We were just a fling back then.”
“No.” I shake my head. “I loved you the first time I saw you. I know it sounds ridiculous, but it’s the truth. I knew the only way you’d give me any type of chance was if it was casual. I know what you thought of me, my reputation, but you’re the only woman I’ve been with since you started at the firm. That’s where the closet came in. I’ve learned every detail I could about you from the beginning, and I loved you so damn hard the whole time. I was just too scared to tell you, because I thought I’d run you off. I used sex as a reason just to be near you because you kept turning me down and throwing the flowers away. But I didn’t give up then, and I won’t give up now. I fucked up. I know that. It won’t happen again. You’re it for me, just let me prove it to you. The only way you’re getting rid of me is if you tell me to leave you alone. And the only reason I’d leave you alone then, is because I love you so fucking much, and I never want to see you hurting because of something I did.”
Tears stream down her cheeks, and I want nothing more than to just wipe them away, just hold her and promise over and over this will never happen again.
“I love you too, Deacon. I just…”
I rise to my feet. She said the words I’ve waited a lifetime to hear.
I hold my arms out, letting her make the decision for herself. I don’t want to force anything on her this time. I want it to be purely her decision. “Come back to me, please. Quinn, I’m nothing without you.”
She stands there for a moment, staring at my outstretched arms.
Tears slide down her cheeks, then she rushes into me, burying her face in my chest.
I wrap her up in a hug and squeeze her against me so hard I worry she might not be able to breathe. “Thank God.” I look down at her. “Thank God.” I drop a kiss on top of her hair and run a hand up and down her back.
Just feeling her up against me, her heart thudding against my ribs, everything in life is perfect again, even if it’s only for a moment. I just sit there and hold her, praying it never ends. Praying that it’s real.
Finally, her chin tilts up and she looks at me once more, only this time there’s a smile on her face. “Hi.”
“Hi.” I lean down and kiss her, because it just feels like the right thing to do. Everything clicks. The moment our lips touch, heat blooms in my chest again and colors grow vibrant. That feeling of floating on the clouds returns.
We continue to kiss, like two old souls reunited after decades. That’s what it feels like, even though it’s only been a few days.
“I need you so damn bad.” I whisper the words against her neck, backing her up to the glass of the suite window that overlooks the Soldier Field. “Need you in my life. I can’t fucking breathe without you.”
“I need you too, Deacon.” This time Quinn is the one who kisses me.
It turns passionate quickly, her needy hands roaming my chest.
I grab her by each wrist and pin them above her head on the glass, then rake my eyes up and down her body as her chest heaves with deep, labored breaths. When my mouth hits her ear, I whisper, “You have no idea how bad I want you. Right here. Right now. But we need to go spend time with your dad at the party. And it’s too soon. When I’m with you I want to move at the speed of light, but I know going slow is better for us.”
Quinn’s eyebrows rise. “You’re turning down sex with me, again, at Soldier Field, to go hang out with my dad?”
“Well…” My eyes narrow on her. “I have one thing I could do that would be acceptable.”
“What’s that?”
“A proper apology.”
Quinn stares at me like I’m an alien from another planet. “Isn’t that, like, what all this was?”
“I said a proper apology, Quinn.” I flip her around and press her up against the glass.
“Ohh.”
My mouth is right in her ear. “One that’s tailored specifically for your own benefit.”
“Well, I do like the sound of that.”
I reach around and unbutton her jeans, then yank them down to the floor. “An apology that leaves my balls aching all night as punishment.”
“Tell me more, sir.”
I pull her panties down to the floor and she steps out of them and her jeans. “It requires a demonstration.”
I bend down and shove her panties in my pocket. Some traditions must continue. I rise and cup her pussy in my hand. “So. Fucking. Wet.”
Quinn’s mouth moves to say something, and I slide a finger in. It turns her sentence into a soft moan. There’s something about watching her squirm and writhe under my touch that just does it for me, every single time. She’s like an instrument I’ve already mastered. I love playing it more than anything in the world and can’t wait to perform the rest of my life.
I lower myself to my knees behind her, spread her ass, and sit back on my heels, just to stare at her slick, glistening folds. “I need to work fast, since we have somewhere to be.”
Quinn nods.
I always love doing the opposite of what she thinks, catching her by surprise. So, I slowly kiss up the backs of her legs, all the way to the bottom of her ass. I take my time working to her inner thighs, teasing closer and closer to where she needs my mouth. She tries to push back into me, but I have my hands on her ass and keep her from getting what she wants.
“Thought you were going to be fast.” Her words come out on several pants.
Teasing her is the best part. “Don’t rush an artist.”
“So damn cocky.”
I grin, my mouth just inches from her pussy, wanting to taste it more than anything in the world. I plan to work fast, when the time is right, but amping her up with anticipation is vital to the process. It has to be a slow build to the crescendo.
My tongue darts out and grazes her clit. It sends a shudder down the back of her legs.
That’s right.
I slide my thumb down and work lazy circles around it while I take my tongue as deep as it will go. One of her hands flies back and paws at the side of my head, looking for anything to grab hold of. She’s already so close, I can feel it in the tiny vibrations of her body. Before long, I have two fingers teasing the secret spot deep inside her while my tongue flicks across her clit.
Her hips buck and she jolts a few more times, then her muscles relax. I slowly work her jeans back up around her waist and button them in the front, kissing up the side of her neck as I do it.
“My panties?”
I love it when she’s so worn out she speaks in sentence fragments. “They belong to me, just like you.”
Quinn falls back into my arms and shakes her head, both of us staring out at the field. “I can’t believe you did all this for us.”
“I can’t take all the credit. It was Dexter’s idea.”
“I know. He told me.”
I spin her around to face me. “Of course he did.” I snicker.
“It’s not like that. Believe it or not, he was sweet and told me you thought of all the details. He just shoved you in the right direction.”
“He watches romantic comedies.”
We both laugh.
“Really?”
“He claims it’s to get laid, but I think he watches them alone at night eating ice cream.”
Quinn shakes her head. “Who would’ve thought…”
“So did it work?” I grin to lighten the mood, but inside I’m trembling in equal parts anticipation and fear of her response.
She smacks at my shoulder. “Yeah, dickhead. It worked. You got the girl.” She leans up on her tiptoes bringing her mouth to mine for a soft kiss. “Just don’t ever put me through that again. Promise?”
There’s not a doubt in my mind. I will never lose her again. “I promise.”
Epilogue
Quinn
“I’m so proud of you.” Deacon opens the car door and ushers me into the passenger seat. “Time to celebrate. I made reservations.”
“Okay.” I smirk and buckle my seatbelt as he goes around to the driver’s side. “Where you taking me?”
“It’s a surprise.” He starts up the car and backs out of his parking space.