Full Bloom

by Janet Evanovich

  “Come again?”

  “I need a drink.”

  “Oh dear, I’ve never really been in a bar. We might look like a couple of sluts, walking in by ourselves.”

  “I am a slut,” Annie said. “A fool and a slut.”

  “You’re not a fool.”

  They drove a distance, the car bumping along as Theenie tried to reacquaint herself with a four-in-the-floor. “There’s a bar,” Annie said, pointing to a place called Jimbo’s Bar and Grill. “Pull in.”

  “It looks a little rough to me,” Theenie said, but did as she was told.

  Annie climbed from the car and marched toward the door. Theenie had to move quickly to keep up with her. They stepped inside and blinked, trying to adjust their eyes to the dark interior. It smelled of stale cigarette smoke. The bartender, a big man in a stained white T-shirt, paused and stared. “We want a drink,” Annie announced.

  “Have a seat.”

  “Let’s sit in the booth in the back,” Theenie whispered, “so nobody will see us.”

  They headed in that direction, still trying to maneuver their way in the dark. Theenie started to sit, then gave a little yelp and jumped up. “There’s a man lying here. He’s probably dead. Somebody probably shot him last night and forgot to remove the body. We should leave. You don’t need to be seen around dead people on account of you’re already up for a murder charge.”

  Erdle Thorney sat up and blinked. Annie and Theenie blinked back. “What are you two doing here?” he asked.

  “Annie needs a cold one,” Theenie said. She and Annie took the seat across from him. Theenie began picking at her fingernails. “You look awful,” she told Erdle.

  The bartender arrived. “This is Jimbo,” Erdle said. “He owns the place.”

  “I need something strong,” Annie said. “I’ve had the worst day of my life.” Well, maybe the second worst day, she thought, the first being when Charles’s remains were discovered buried in her backyard.

  “Give her a tequila straight up,” Erdle said, “and as long as she’s buying, bring me the usual.”

  “And you?” The bartender looked at Theenie.

  “I’ll just have a glass of tea.”

  “All we got is Long Island iced tea.”

  Theenie looked thoughtful. “Well, I usually drink Lipton, but I’m open to new experiences.”

  This brought a smile to Jimbo’s face. “I’ll be right back.”

  The front door opened, and a man stood there for a moment, silhouetted by the light streaming in from the outside. He closed the door behind him, blinked several times as though trying to see, and then headed toward them.

  “It’s Norm Schaefer,” Annie whispered.

  Theenie squinted. “I didn’t know he was a worthless drunk, too.”

  Norm approached the booth, a menacing look on his face. He pointed to Annie. “You and I need to have a little talk.”

  “How did you know where to find us?” she asked.

  “I followed you from the church.” He looked at Theenie. “Where’d you learn to drive? I’ve never seen such bad driving in my life. Somebody needs to take your license.”

  Theenie hitched her head high and sniffed. “That would be difficult, seeing as I don’t have one.”

  Norm gave a grunt of disgust. “You old people need to get off the road.”

  “Would you like to sit down?” Annie asked, trying to be polite but hoping he wouldn’t take her up on her offer. She had never seen Norm act so rude, but she was determined not to make a scene.

  He ignored her invitation. “What the hell did you tell the police?” he demanded, his eyes boring into hers. “They came to my office this morning and questioned me about your husband’s murder. I don’t like having cops show up at my place of business.”

  “I haven’t told the police anything,” Annie replied. “It’s not my favorite place right now.”

  He sneered. “Then it must have been your biker boyfriend.”

  Annie hated sneers. She had an urge to slap it right off his face, but she was in no hurry to go back to jail. “Wes is not my boyfriend. He’s just somebody I have sex with.” The sneer disappeared, and Annie decided it was worth having Theenie and Erdle openly gape at her.

  “I don’t care if he’s your damn plumber,” Norm said after he’d composed himself. “Tell him to mind his own business or you’re both going to be sorry.”

  “Are you threatening me?” she asked.

  “Don’t threaten her,” Erdle said. “I’m too drunk to kick your ass.”

  Norm put his finger in Annie’s face, and she decided she liked that even less than sneering. But she wasn’t about to let him upset her; that’s exactly what he was looking for, and it would be her first time practicing anger management on her own. “Did you have something else you needed to say?” she asked lightly. “Before I ask the owner to throw you out?”

  “Yeah.” Norm put his hands flat on the table and leaned closer. “Don’t blame me because your husband had problems keeping his zipper closed.”

  Theenie gasped. “That’s a terrible thing to say on the day of Charles’s memorial service. Especially to his widow,” she added. “Didn’t your mother teach you any manners? Why, if I had children, which I don’t, I would have raised them to be more sensitive to other people’s feelings.”

  Jimbo arrived with their drinks and set them on the table. “Y’all want to run a tab?”

  “That’s fine,” Annie said. She waited for him to leave before she addressed Norm. Instead of lashing out as she was tempted to do, she decided to take the high road. “I’m sorry that you were embarrassed by the police, Norm,” she said, trying to sound sincere, “but they’re questioning all of Charles’s friends. That doesn’t mean you’re a suspect.”

  “She’s right,” Theenie said as though hoping to diffuse the man’s anger. “Annie’s the only one they want to fry.”

  With those words, Annie picked up her shot glass of tequila and tossed it back like she’d seen people do on TV. It took her breath away. “Holy crap!” she managed, and then began to wheeze.

  “Bite into the lemon,” Erdle said.

  Annie did as he said, but it didn’t help. “I can’t feel my tongue.”

  Norm shook his head, muttered a four-letter word, and walked away.

  “Here, dear,” Theenie said when Annie’s eyes began to roll around in her head. “Drink some of my tea. It’s not bad.”

  Annie took the glass and gulped thirstily. Beads of perspiration oozed from her pores. She drained the glass.

  “Uh-oh,” Erdle said.

  “It’s okay,” Theenie told him. “I’ll order another.” She motioned for Jimbo. “Would you be so kind as to bring us two more iced teas?”

  “Uh-oh,” Erdle said.

  Two hours and three Long Island iced teas later, Theenie’s head was on the table and Annie was still telling Erdle how sorry Wes Bridges was. “Did I tell you he’s a private investigator hired by my mean ol’ mother-in-law to snoop on me?” she said, her words badly slurred.

  Erdle nodded. “I believe you mentioned it once or twice or maybe ten times.” His words were equally slurred, but then, he’d drunk nonstop since Annie and Theenie had arrived.

  Jimbo delivered their check. Annie picked it up, and her mouth dropped open. “Holy marolly!” She looked at him. “I believe you gave us somebody else’s check. We didn’t have this many drinks.”

  “Long Island iced tea has four different kinds of booze in it, lady,” he said.

  Annie looked at Erdle. “Did you know that?”

  “Uh-huh. But you and the old gal seemed to like it.”

  Annie swallowed. That explained why she could barely see. She leaned closer to Erdle. “I don’t have this much cash.”

  “Don’t look at me. I’m flat busted.”

  Annie smiled at Jimbo. “My credit card is at its limit. Do you take personal checks?”

  “Nope.” He pointed to a big sign in bold letters that read: Abso
lutely No Personal Checks. Despite the size of it, Annie had to squint to see it, only to realize she was seeing double.

  “Aw, c’mon, Jimbo,” Erdle said. “I can vouch for her.”

  The man made a sound of disgust. “Look, Thorney, I don’t care if she’s the pope’s sister; you know the rules. If I had a dollar for every bounced check I’ve gotten over the years I could walk away from this dump a wealthy man.”

  “Well, what do you expect me to do?” Annie asked.

  “Hey, I don’t care if you have to go from table to table and give lap dances; it’s your problem. Let me know when you figure it out.”

  “This is not good,” Erdle said.

  “You’re right,” Annie said. “Because I don’t know the first thing about lap dancing.” She recounted her money in case she’d made a mistake. She was way short. “Will Jimbo call the cops on us?” she whispered to Erdle. “I can’t afford to get busted again.”

  “I’ve seen it happen,” he said. “First Jimbo takes ’em out back and slaps ’em around; then he calls the cops.”

  “Uh-oh. I can’t afford to get slapped around, either. I have to give a wedding day after tomorrow. I mean, how would it look?” She glanced at Theenie, who was snoring. “Maybe she can lend me some money. She tried to wake Theenie, but the woman didn’t so much as budge. Annie shook her harder. “Wake up, Theenie, I need money,” she shouted in her ear, causing the other customers to look their way.

  “You’re making a scene,” Erdle hissed.

  Annie sank into the booth. From the looks of the other customers, it was hard to believe that she could possibly say anything to offend or embarrass them.

  “I have no other choice but to check Theenie’s purse,” Annie said. She pulled out the woman’s wallet, looked inside, and frowned. “She has less cash on her than I do.”

  “Uh-oh,” Erdle said.

  “What are we going to do?” Annie asked. “We can’t pay this tab.”

  He thought for a minute. “I’ll call for backup.” He slid from the booth and almost landed on the floor. He grabbed the edge of the table to steady himself. “I’ll be back.”

  Danny Gilbert arrived fifteen minutes later. He scratched his head and perused the threesome. “What happened to Theenie?”

  “She’s taking a nap,” Annie said.

  “So you ladies decided to drop in for a couple of drinks, huh?” he said, glancing about the room, now filled with bikers and construction workers.

  Jimbo suddenly appeared. “The guy across the room wants to buy the redhead a drink,” he said.

  Annie was flattered. “Oh yeah?”

  “I think we’re leaving,” Danny said. “Do you have the check?”

  “Sure do.” Jimbo handed it to Danny, who arched both brows. “Wow,” he said, reaching into his back pocket for his wallet. “When you guys decide to tie one on, you don’t mess around.”

  “It wasn’t our fault,” Annie said. “We didn’t know the bartender was putting extra booze in our drinks.” She looked at Jimbo as though she held him personally responsible for the condition they were in.

  “They were drinking Long Island iced tea,” Jimbo told Danny.

  Danny looked annoyed. “Did you inform them in advance how much alcohol was in each drink?”

  “I don’t run a babysitting business,” Jimbo said.

  Danny counted out the money and handed it to him.

  The man didn’t look pleased. “What, no tip?”

  “Yeah, I have a tip for you,” Danny said. “Next time tell people what they’re getting when they order a drink they’ve never heard of.”

  Jimbo pocketed the money. “Just get them out of here, okay?”

  “What are we going to do about Theenie?” Annie asked. “She’s passed out.”

  “Good question,” Danny said.

  Jimbo gave a disgusted sigh and motioned for Annie to get out of the booth. “Grab the old broad’s purse,” he said.

  “Excuse me, but did you just refer to my friend as a broad? Why, you’re nothing but a—”

  “Annie, let’s just get out of here,” Danny said. “Now.”

  Annie reached for her and Theenie’s purses and slid from the booth. Jimbo leaned over, pulled Theenie across the booth, and threw her over his shoulder. “Just tell me where you want her.”

  Annie fell asleep as soon as Danny helped her into the backseat of his car. “We’ll pick up your car in the morning,” he said, but she and Theenie were both out cold. “Guess you’re not really worried about it right now,” he said as he closed the door.

  “What happened?” Danny asked Erdle when he joined him in the front seat. “I’ve never seen Annie in this condition.”

  Erdle told him how Eve Fortenberry had treated Annie at Charles’s memorial service.

  Danny looked incredulous. “Wes is actually working for Eve?”

  “I don’t know what’s going on between them now. All I know is that Eve hired him to find out if Annie was responsible for her husband’s disappearance and obviously got a great deal of pleasure announcing it to Annie at the memorial.”

  “Does Wes know that Annie’s on to him?” Danny asked.

  “Not yet. But he will the minute Annie sets foot in that house, buh-lieve you me.” He paused and glanced over his shoulder at the two women. “Unless Annie is still unconscious.”

  Danny chuckled. “You know, I think I’d like to hang around and see that.”

  Annie and Theenie awoke as soon as Danny cut the engine. “Where am I?” Theenie asked. “What day is it? And how come my head hurts like the dickens?”

  “It was the tea at Jimbo’s Bar and Grill,” Annie said. “It was spiked with tons of alcohol.”

  “Oh my. And it went down so easy.”

  The two women climbed from the car and stumbled up the front walk. The front door was thrown open by a worried-looking Wes. “You two look terrible,” he said. “Where have you been?”

  “They got all liquored up,” Erdle slurred.

  Annie walked past Wes without a word and headed for the kitchen to put on a pot of coffee. He followed. “Are you okay?”

  She glared at him. “Are you asking out of personal concern or is this just part of your job?”

  “What?”

  “Annie knows the truth,” Danny said. “Her mother-in-law gave her an earful at the memorial service.”

  Wes sighed and raked his hands through his hair. “I was planning to tell you.”

  “I don’t want to hear anything you have to say. I don’t even want to look at you. What I do want is for you to leave this house immediately.”

  “I don’t work for Eve anymore, Annie. In fact, I gave her a full refund, including her retainer. I’ll bet she didn’t bother to tell you that, did she?”

  “I don’t care if you gave her the Hope Diamond. You’re a liar and a phony, and I don’t ever want to look at your face again.” She staggered from the room and up the stairs.

  “I think she means it,” Danny said. “I’d start packing if I were you.”

  “That’s going to make things real convenient for you, isn’t it, Gilbert?”

  “Don’t blame me, friend,” Danny said. “You managed to screw up all by yourself.”

  When Annie opened her eyes the sun had gone down and her bedroom was bathed in shadows. She could barely make out Danny’s form in the corner chair. “Is he gone?”

  “Yes. I stayed with him while he packed so he wouldn’t be tempted to knock on your door.”

  “Thank you.”

  “How do you feel?”

  “Like I should be in ICU.”

  Danny moved to the bed, sat down, and took her hand. “Listen, I’ve got some time off, so I’m going away for a while.”

  “How long is a while?”

  “Actually, I’ve had a job offer in Charleston.”

  “I didn’t know.”

  “I’m supposed to report to work in a couple of days.”

  “So you’ve already decided
.”

  He nodded. “I think a change would be good for me.”

  “How will I reach you? Will you still have the same cell phone number?”

  “No, I’m going with a different plan.” He paused. “How about I call you once I find a place to live and get settled in?”

  “That’ll be great. Charleston’s only a little more than an hour away. I can come on a Saturday or Sunday morning and stay all day.”

  “Yeah.” He reached up and mussed her hair. “Be good to yourself, Anniekins.”

  Annie watched Danny leave through her bedroom door, and instinct told her he would not be calling anytime soon, if at all. She sat in the growing darkness, knowing she had never felt more alone. Wes was gone, and one of her very best friends had just said good-bye.

  She had a choice: she could either sit in bed and feel sorry for herself or move on.

  She would move on, because that’s the way she was.

  Annie entered the kitchen some minutes later, once she’d run a brush through her hair and brushed her teeth. She needed to eat; maybe the food would absorb whatever alcohol remained in her stomach. She found Theenie, ice pack pressed against her head and a bottle of Extra Strength Excedrin in her hand. Her other hand held the phone to her ear. She glanced at Annie.

  “Thank you for calling,” Theenie said. “I’ll be sure to pass the news to Annie. . . . No, she’s not mad at you.” Theenie hung up.

  “I hope that wasn’t Doc. If he sees us like this he’ll put us down for sure.”

  “Guess what?” Theenie said as she opened the bottle in her hand.

  “I could use a couple of those,” Annie said. “Maybe three.”

  Theenie shook two tablets into her palm and passed the bottle to Annie. “That was Lamar Tevis on the phone just now. And guess what?”

  “Okay, what?”

  “Donna Schaefer just confessed to murdering Charles. The charges against you have been dropped.”

  CHAPTER FOURTEEN

  Wes checked into a motel, grabbed his knapsack from the bike, and went inside the room. He dropped his bag on the bed, switched on the TV set, and went into the bathroom, where he threw cold water on his face. In the mirror over the sink a tired, haggard man looked back at him. Wes paced the room, picked up the remote, clicked on several channels, and turned off the TV. Finally, he kicked off his boots and lay down on the bed.