The Goddess Test Boxed Set

by Aimee Carter

  I touched the broken wing, willing it to heal. The bones eased back into place, and at last the bird righted himself. He seemed to doubt that his wing was fixed; he kept it close as he expanded the other, as if readying himself for takeoff. But instead he remained in my palm, and he cocked his head as he chirped up at me once more.

  Despite the heartbreak of the morning, I smiled. “You can fly now, you know. You don’t have to stay with me.”

  He hopped from my palm to the tips of my fingers, and at last he spread both of his wings. As he took off, I felt that same keen wrench in my chest, and it only brought on another fresh wave of tears. Everyone would leave me eventually, given enough time.

  But even as I thought it, I felt a featherlight touch on my shoulder, and the bird chirped beside my ear. I wiped my cheeks. “You’re back,” I said thickly.

  Another chirp, and he took a few strands of my hair in his beak. I managed a small smile.

  “I wouldn’t eat that if I were you. Let’s find you some seeds.”

  The bird and I spent the rest of the day together, exploring the woods around the lake as I tried to find his home. But no matter how hard I searched the trees, I saw no evidence of a nest. He couldn’t have been very old, certainly not on his own yet, but I heard no cries of his mother or siblings. So he’d been abandoned, after all.

  “We aren’t so different, you and I,” I said as he perched on my finger. We sat on a rock, sunbathing in the warm afternoon glow. “I’m on my own, as well.”

  He gave a questioning chirp, as if he understood me. Maybe he did.

  “My brother—my friend, he abandoned me, as well.” It was silly, talking to a bird, spilling my secrets, but I had no one else. Not even my sisters were trustworthy anymore. “He promised to come see me, but it’s been a year. Not very long in the scheme of things, despite what you may think, but it still hurts.”

  Nearby, a tree rustled in the breeze, and the bird danced from one end of my finger to the other. He knew he could fly, and that he remained here healed something inside me. At last, someone was choosing to be with me.

  “My brother—my other brother, he wants to marry me,” I said. The bird tilted his head again, and I smiled. “He’s King of the Skies—your king, even if you don’t know it. I doubted he could do it at first, you know. We all did, and he proved us wrong, which only makes it hurt even more. Have you ever wanted to be needed so badly that you felt as if your heart would burst?”

  He hopped up my arm, climbing until he sat on my shoulder again. I offered him my finger, but he remained.

  “Of course you haven’t. But my brother Zeus, he only wants me as an ornament. Something to make him look stronger. He doesn’t see me—he doesn’t love me. He loves my power. And even if I did agree to marry him, he would never be faithful to me. I would never be his equal, and he would insist I bow down to him. That isn’t the life I want.”

  Another chirp, and his warm little body brushed up against the crook of my neck.

  “I want to live a life of respect and equality. Of partnership. I want someone to love me for who I am, not what I can do for him. I want someone who keeps his promises. Who doesn’t see me as a conquest.” I sighed and stared down at the pattern in the rock. “I want to be happy.”

  Without warning, the bird took flight, disappearing into the trees. My heart leaped, and I stood, ready to follow his path. He couldn’t leave, too. I could take him back to Olympus, make him immortal, keep him as my companion—

  But he didn’t return. The forest was never silent, with the rustling leaves, gentle laps of waves on the lake, and countless other sounds that mixed together in natural harmony, and I strained for any signs of his chirps. Nothing.

  A sob escaped me, and I sank back onto the warm rock. So this was how my life would be. Constant loneliness, an ache for something I could never have, and everyone I ever loved would leave me. First my mother, then Hades, and now a creature that I barely even knew. Yet his abandonment still stung as badly as the rest, a reminder of the pain I’d already endured.

  I buried my face in my hands, and without any thought to dignity, I cried. For myself, for the life I would never have, for the eons that would never end. For the hope that had been stolen from me time and time again, until it dwindled into nothing.

  “Hera?”

  I stiffened midsob, silencing myself. The voice had been too muffled for me to make it out properly, but it was male. One of my brothers. Hades?

  A twig snapped, and I was on my feet in an instant. No time to wash away my tears in the lake. A figure moved through the trees, at first obscured by shadows. As soon as he stepped into the sunlight, however, I recognized him.

  Zeus. Of course. I would never get my way.

  “What do you want?” I sank back down onto the rock and drew my knees to my chest. I expected a smart answer, a joke about how I could stop crying now that he was here. Instead he knelt a few feet away, and out of the corner of my eye, I saw the concern on his face. Sincere or not, I wouldn’t accept his pity.

  “I am sorry.” His words sounded heavy, as if he were weighing each one before he spoke. “Not only for how I have treated you, but for how I have thought of you, as well. Father—” He hesitated. “Father was no role model, but I am afraid I took his treatment of Mother to heart. You deserve better, as did she, and for that I apologize.”

  I shut my eyes. He could apologize all he wanted. It wouldn’t change anything.

  “You are the best of us all, Hera,” he said quietly. “You are the strongest, the smartest, but you are also the most deserving, and—you are the loveliest girl I have ever seen. Not simply on the outside, but on the inside, as well.”

  That was a lie and we both knew it. Hestia was the kindest, the gentlest, and Demeter was the most even-tempered. I had power, and I had pride. I wasn’t content with what lay before me.

  But his words washed over me anyway, a small oasis within the desert of my life. Still, I didn’t acknowledge them.

  “I love you.” Zeus set his hand on my shoulder, the way Hades had the evening we’d won the war. “Not as an ornament. Not as a conquest. I see you, and I love you.”

  I jerked back from his touch. “You were spying on me?”

  “Only to make sure you were all right. After the meeting, I was worried—”

  “You had no right.” I stood furiously and started to march off. “That was a private conversation.”

  “Hera.” There was a command in his voice so reminiscent of our father’s that even I couldn’t resist stopping and turning to face him. In that instant, my tiny bird took Zeus’s place, flying closer to me before he changed back. Zeus was barely a foot in front of me now. “Everything you want, that is what I want to be to you. For you.”

  The magnitude of his deception hit me, and I slapped him. “I don’t care what you want to be to me. You will never be anything more than the god who stole my rightful place from me, and the god who tricked me into spilling my secrets.”

  “They are my secrets, as well.” Zeus took my hand with gentleness I’d been certain he wasn’t capable of. I pulled away, and his expression shattered. “Please, Hera—I’m lonely. I’m burdened. I want nothing more than someone to share my life with. Not to rule over as the Titans did. But a true equal in every sense of the word.”

  I shook my head. He was only repeating the things I’d unwittingly told him, and I would not let him worm his way into my heart. “You’re lying. You
could never be faithful to me, and I will not settle for anything short of absolute fidelity.”

  “Then you will have it. The other women—they are nothing compared to you, and I only want you. I only need you. I am yours, and I will forever be yours, despite the seasons that pass. I will do anything to prove myself to you, Hera.”

  “Then give me your kingdom,” I blurted before I could think it through. But that was the true test—if Zeus wanted me as badly as he claimed, then why not pit the two things he loved most against each other?

  I expected hesitation. I expected bargaining. Instead he nodded, and with the sun as our witness, he knelt before me. “My kingdom is yours. You will be queen, and I will be your king. We will rule together as partners, as equals, whether you consent to marry me or not. From this moment on, it is done, regardless of your choice.”

  I stared at him. He couldn’t be serious. Whatever game he was playing, I was nothing more than a pawn, a way for him to entertain himself while ignoring the responsibilities of his domain.

  But he had been a fair ruler so far, and he was no longer the boy who’d led us during the war. In the year since our victory, he had transformed into a young man, one I was nearly proud to call brother. Loath as I was to admit it, even to myself.

  “I will never bow at your feet,” I said.

  “Which is why I am bowing at yours.”

  “I will not consent to mistresses.”

  “You are all I need.”

  “I demand respect and honesty at all times.”

  “And you will have it, from this moment on.”

  The warmth and hope in his voice melted the ice around my heart, and at last I allowed myself to relax. Never completely, but enough to feel alive once more.

  “I will not give you an answer now,” I said at last. “Words are easy to speak, but I want you to show me that you mean this. I will give you one chance. If you break my trust in any way, or if you treat me as anything less than your equal for even a moment, it is over. But if you prove to me that you mean this, that you’ve changed and are willing to do this—then when the time is right, I will marry you.”

  Uncertainly flashed across his face, but it was gone before I could comment, and he stood. “Very well. You have my devotion.” He brushed his fingertips against my cheek, and my insides fluttered. “I will do whatever it takes to prove myself to you.”

  “Good.” No use allowing Zeus the satisfaction of knowing what his promises meant to me. As Hades had proven that day, a promise was easily broken. “I look forward to your efforts.”

  “For now, let us walk,” said Zeus. “It’s a beautiful afternoon, and I’m with the most beautiful woman in the world. It would be a crime to waste it.”

  Once again, he took my hand. This time I didn’t resist.

  * * *

  Zeus stuck to his word. I hadn’t thought it possible, but from that afternoon on, he treated me as his equal. Together we ruled his kingdom—our kingdom now, visiting humans, watching over them, intervening when problems became too great for them to handle peacefully. The last thing we needed was a war among mortals, and we both kept busy, putting out fires as they arose. One day they would be able to govern themselves, but not yet.

  On top of offering me equality, he showered me with gifts and attention. More than that, he offered me affection as well, never pushing for more than I was willing to give. Soon I began to look forward to spending time with him, and eventually the loss of Hades became little more than a twinge of regret.

  Each evening, Zeus asked me to marry him. After each proposal, I said no. But his determination never faltered, and as time passed, I could no longer deny that he’d changed. The days of wrestling in the mud with Poseidon were gone, and I was proud to stand beside him as his queen, as his equal. My affection for him ran deep, and though some nights I wondered what my life would be like with someone I was truly passionate about, I knew I would find no better offer.

  So after a day that had been nothing more than average on the surface, yet had been quietly extraordinary because I’d spent it with Zeus—I said yes.

  On the morning of my wedding, my sisters helped me prepare. I bathed in the sweetest spring on earth, adorned my hair with the most beautiful flowers in creation and spent hours in my chamber taking every possible step to make sure I was perfect. But only Hestia seemed to share my happiness. Demeter was strangely quiet as she plaited my hair in an intricate style, and nothing Hestia and I said seemed to snap her out of it.

  At last, once she’d finished with my hair, I turned to face her. “Say it.”

  Demeter blinked innocently. “Say what?”

  “Whatever it is you’re thinking. I can see your disapproval with both of my eyes shut, and I will not have my sister unhappy on my wedding day.”

  She pursed her lips, and at last she murmured, “I am simply not sure you’re making the right decision, that’s all.”

  I knew it was coming, but something inside me snapped. “And why is that?” I said, not bothering to hide the challenge in my voice. She had no right to question my choices. She’d chosen to live her life alone thus far, and I wasn’t weaker than her for choosing the opposite.

  Hestia quickly stepped toward us. “There’s no need to fight. You’ve made your decision, and Demeter’s only concerned for your welfare—”

  “My welfare? I daresay it goes much deeper than that, doesn’t it, Demeter?”

  “Hera—” said Hestia, but I cut her off.

  “Let our sister say her piece.”

  Demeter hesitated again, but finally she said, “Zeus has gone to great lengths to prove he’s changed for you. But people don’t change like that, Hera—they change because they want to, not because someone demands they do. And I worry that as soon as the wedding’s over and the pair of you settle into marriage, he’s going to revert back to the person you hate.”

  “Have you heard something?” I said. “Have you seen him do anything that would make you question his fidelity to me?”

  “No, but—”

  “He’s changed.” I stood. “I know him. Not only did he decide to better himself for me, but he’s proud of the changes he’s made, and he wants to stay that way.”

  “Hera…” Demeter reached for me, but I pulled away.

  “If you had proof, if you had witnesses—but you don’t, because he’s loyal to me. He respects me, and he would never hurt me in such a way. He would never leave me like that.”

  “Zeus would say or do anything to get you to marry him,” she said. “It’s a game to him. I’ve no doubt he loves you, but that doesn’t mean he’ll remain loyal as soon as he has what he wants, and you must be prepared for the possibility—”

  “It is not a possibility,” I said. “He’s changed, and you will see. You’ll both see. Unless you intend on sabotaging his efforts to prove me wrong.”

  Her eyes widened. “No, of course not—”

  “Do you love him? Do you wish you were in my place? Do you have aspirations to be his queen, Demeter?”

  My sister’s expression hardened. “The only thing I wish is for you to be happy. If that’s suddenly a crime or something worthy of your anger, then so be it. I don’t regret looking out for you.”

  “I don’t need you to look out for me,” I snapped. “I’m Queen. I can look out for myself.”

  Fire flashed in her irises, and for a long moment, she said nothing as she stared at me. At last, as if it gave her great pain to do so, she c
urtsied. “As you wish, my queen.”

  She may as well have slapped me. I didn’t want her condescending deference. I wanted her respect. Her acknowledgment that I was more than some silly little girl who saw marriage as the end of aspiration. I wanted her to trust me to make my own decisions, rather than allowing my siblings to dictate it for me. It was my life. What I chose to do with it was my business, and she had no say. Yet with that single gesture, she’d said more about what she thought of my choice than words could possibly express, and I hated her for it.

  “Come,” said Hestia, touching my hand. “It’s nearly time. Zeus will be waiting.”

  I said nothing as she led me from my chambers and down the sunset hallway. If Demeter wanted to disapprove, that was her burden to bear, not mine. I was walking toward the rest of my eternal existence. If she chose to remain behind me, then so be it.

  * * *

  Hades was waiting for me in the antechamber.

  I felt his presence as soon as Hestia left, and until that moment, I hadn’t realized how much I’d craved being with him in the time we’d been apart. Warmth washed over me, and I smiled. It was as if I were coming home.

  “I missed you.” I stepped toward the window, where he stood gazing out across the endless sky. “I was worried you’d decided to separate from us completely.”

  “Never.” He turned, and his eyes swept over me. “You look beautiful.”

  My cheeks grew warm, and I moved to stand beside him. “I am getting married today, you know.”

  “So I’ve heard.” His fingertips brushed mine, and I slipped my hand into his without further prompting. “Demeter told me about your argument.”

  The bubble of happiness inside my chest popped. “She had no right.”

  “She’s only looking out for your well-being,” he said. “We’ve all seen what Zeus is capable of, and we all love you. No one wants to see you hurt.”