Taboo Boss: An Older Man Younger Woman Romance

by Black, Natasha L.

  “The fuck do you want?” he asked gruffly as he got close.

  “A beer,” I said. “Something dark.”

  “I don’t do fancy shit. I got one porter. Take it or leave it.”

  “Fine,” I said, sitting at the stool. He brought it over, slamming it a little harder than he needed to, and foam fell over the side.

  “Where are your troublemaking brothers?” he asked, looking around the bar. “You ain’t so intimidating by yourself.”

  I laughed over the beer and took a deep sip. It wasn’t good, but it wasn’t terrible, either.

  “I just wanted a beer, Danny. And to ask you one question,” I said.

  I took another long pull of the beer, draining the mug easily.

  “What?” Danny asked.

  “How much do you want?”

  “For what?” Danny asked. “The beer?”

  “For this shithole,” I said, putting the mug down. His face turned to stone, and he leaned on the bar with both hands.

  “I’m not sellin’,” he said.

  I pulled open my wallet, taking out a ten and one of my business cards. I sat the card down on top of the ten and looked him square in the eye.

  “You might want to consider it,” I said and left.

  24

  Amanda

  I might have been getting too accustomed to working at the hotel. So many of my strict routines had already gone by the wayside, and I was getting comfortable with a more relaxed approach to getting my work done during the day. I was still waking up far earlier than I needed to but gone were the days when I felt like I absolutely had to get up and get started the second my eyes snapped open.

  Instead, I had learned the joy of wriggling down deeper into the covers, cuddling close to Tom, and drifting for a while. He seemed to not be able to get enough of getting up earlier than me. The whole time we worked together, he was used to me already having a good chunk of my day done with by the time he even got into the office. While he never got angry with me or said it aggravated him, now that he was the one getting an earlier start some days, I could see it made him happy.

  I was more than willing to give him that little victory. If he enjoyed starting his day first and surprising me with coffee and chocolate croissants, who was I to deny him that joy?

  That thought made me laugh to myself as I got ready to work for the day. Tom had just left to work out getting the down payment to the real estate agent for the new property, and I had a full slate of tasks on my to-do list. If we were back in California, that would mean I needed to put on business clothes, do my makeup, and make sure my hair was styled.

  In Oregon that meant putting on my new favorite stretch pants and a lightweight sweater, foregoing heels for thick socks that warded off the perpetual chill of the hotel air conditioner, and curling up in the chair in front of the desk. It wasn’t something I would do if I was expected to be on video calls during the day, but when it was just phone calls and computer work, I felt like I could pull it off.

  If someone told me I would be uprooting my life and going to Astoria for an indefinite stretch with Tom, I would have immediately felt on edge. I could only imagine the anxiety I would feel thinking about everything that would have to change and how much I would have to adapt in order to keep up with what I did on a day-to-day basis. Not only that, but everything I would miss and how disconnected I would feel from life.

  It made sense. I was accustomed to my life. I liked my home and spent a lot of time with Emily. But now that I had been in Astoria for a while, I was realizing just how much I wasn’t fitting in with that assumption.

  Yes, I missed my best friend. It would have been nice to have her there to talk to and spend time with. Yet, she was really the only thing I found myself actively missing. I would never mention that to Landon, of course. He was a good guy, and we maintained a good friendship. But I was happy in Oregon. I was enjoying the change of scenery and the different pace of life.

  I really liked Ava and could see myself forming a close friendship with her. It was even nice being around Tom’s brothers and mother. I never had a big family to spend time with that way, and they made sure I felt welcome and comfortable.

  Of course, how my relationship with Tom was developing didn’t hurt my enjoyment of the situation. I was definitely happy to keep that going.

  I was just getting ready to settle in to respond to a long list of emails when my phone rang. It was the partners in Paris wanting to set up another meeting. I got it all arranged and added it to the calendar. Doing that gave me a strange little dip in my mood. It was like a sharp reminder of the reality that was still outside of the Astoria bubble we were living in.

  At some point, we were going to have to go back. Everything here in Astoria would be taken care of, and it would be time for Tom and me to go back to California and resume our normal lives again. Only, I didn’t know what that meant. Would it be a normal life like the one we left to come here? Or would there be something different now?

  I force myself to push those thoughts out of my mind and focus only on my tasks for the day. I responded to a couple dozen emails, then set up a few more meetings. Several of them had been rescheduled a couple of times already, so they couldn’t be held off any longer. What I was finished with that, I called Tom.

  “They’re all willing to do them over video,” I told him after rattling off the list of meetings I scheduled. “They were just getting impatient, and they needed to get on the books.”

  “No problem,” he said. “Thank you for doing that. I really appreciate it.”

  “It’s my job,” I said cheerfully. “Literally. That’s my job.”

  Tom laughed. “Well, I appreciate it anyway. We’re going to have dinner over at my mom’s house tonight, so I’ll be over at the hotel around five-thirty to pick you up.”

  “Sounds good,” I said.

  I had a little while before he was going to be there to finish up the rest of my work. When I was done, I took a shower and got dressed. I might have used to working in my lounge clothes, but I still wanted to look my best for Tom. And definitely for his family. As welcoming as I had been, part of me still felt like I was trying to impress them.

  I didn’t know how I felt about that. There was still the question in the back of my mind of whether I needed to impress them at all. Tom and I still hadn’t gotten around to having any sort of conversation that would define our relationship. Maybe I was putting too much effort into all of this. But maybe not.

  When we got to Susan’s house, the rest of the brothers, Ava, and Robert were already there. Dinner smelled absolutely amazing. We sat down around the huge dining table and passed around platters of meatloaf, mashed potatoes, green beans, and fresh homemade yeast rolls. Everyone was laughing and talking. I couldn’t help but imagine what it would be like to have Thanksgiving with this family.

  After dinner, the guys clear the table. After putting the dishes in the sink, they all went out onto the back porch with beer while Ava and I helped Susan finish cleaning up. I stood at the sink washing the dishes Ava scraped off and handed to me. Susan dried them and put them away.

  “Thank you so much for your help, girls,” she said.

  “Of course,” I said. “I’m happy to help.”

  “It’s so nice to have all my boys home with me,” she said. “There were times there when I thought it would never happen again. The only thing that brought Tom back was his father’s death. And even that only gave me a couple of days.”

  “How have you been doing with that?” I asked.

  I didn’t even mean to ask it. The question just came out as soon as it formed in my thoughts. I felt terrible for asking it. This definitely wasn’t the sort of question you brought up on a happy night everybody was enjoying together. Especially when you barely knew the person. I waited for Susan to be offended or angry. Instead, she offered me a smile.

  “Better,” she said. “Thank you for asking. Sometimes I feel like most people have forgo
tten. Or are doing everything they can to pretend they have. Not you, Ava. Ava has never forgotten. She makes sure she checks in on me and listens when I need to talk. But a lot of people around town, even my boys, try to avoid even mentioning him.”

  “I’m sorry,” I said. Even as I said it, I was relieved she wasn’t upset by it.

  She shrugged and went back to drying the dish in her hands. “I guess I can understand it. They’re hurting, too. Maybe they don’t want to talk about him because it hurts too much. But that’s why I want to talk about him. It makes me feel closer. Like he’s still here with me.”

  “He is,” Ava said. “He always will be.”

  Tears stung in the backs of my eyes, and I felt a separation from the two women standing there in the kitchen with me. They had experienced something together I was not a part of. I certainly wasn’t envious of it. It hurt enough to hear about Tom’s father without me having known him. But it was also a reminder that I was coming into a strong and well-established family.

  Whatever was happening between Tom and me, I was getting a chance to be a part of something really special.

  We finished the dishes and cleaned up the kitchen. Susan handed each of us a beer and shooed us toward the back porch.

  “You two go on out there and relax,” she said.

  “Aren’t you coming with us?” Ava asked.

  “No,” Susan said, shaking her head. “Not my scene. I have a cuddle and game show date with my grandson.”

  Robert had been napping in his playpen in the living room but was now awake and gurgling. She scooped him up. I watched the smile cross Ava’s face and felt my heart warm.

  She went over and gave her baby a kiss on his face before we walked outside to join the boys. The door to the porch was standing open, so they didn’t hear us coming. Tom had his back to us, and Mason was at a slight diagonal from him. He didn’t notice us before talking.

  “So, what’s going on with you and Amanda?” he asked. “You guys seem to be getting close.”

  My breath caught slightly in my chest as I waited to hear what he was going to say. Ava’s eyes slid over to mine. She had a slight smile on her face, like she felt the same anticipation. But Tom’s answer was enough to wipe both of our faces blank.

  “Nothing. She’s my secretary. It’s strictly professional,” he said.

  It was like a wrecking ball had swung directly into the middle of my gut. I was so stunned, I couldn’t even move. Ava cleared her throat angrily, and Tom turned around. His face dropped, his expression going to surprise and shock.

  I could only feel sadness now I knew what he really thought.

  “Well,” I said to Ava, “I guess that’s a conversation I don’t need to have. Will you give me a ride back to the hotel?”

  Tom rushed to put his beer down and jump to his feet, coming around the side of the chair where he was sitting so he could come toward me.

  “You can ride with me,” he said. “We can leave now if you want to.”

  I shook my head and held up a hand to stop his progress toward me. “No need. I don’t want to impose.”

  He started to say something else, but I turned and rushed back into the house before he could. Ava hurried after me.

  “Susan, I’m going to take Amanda back to the hotel. I’ll be back,” she said.

  We got into her car, and I stared directly in front of me. I didn’t want to look at her, afraid of the emotions that might hit me if I did. I wasn’t crying, but that came as a surprise. If I knew I would hear Tom say something like that, I would have expected to be a mess.

  Instead, it was almost as though I couldn’t bring myself to cry. All I could do was sit there in silence and stare.

  Ava mercifully stayed silent with me throughout the drive. When we got back to the hotel, she walked me up to the room.

  “You know,” she said, “Tom hasn’t exactly had the best track record when it comes to relationships. He doesn’t date and as far as I know has never had a real connection with any woman. Maybe he just doesn’t want to come to terms with his feelings yet.”

  I shook my head. “I don’t think he ever can. And I can’t just keep waiting around and hoping.”

  “What are you going to do?” she asked.

  “I’m going to go home,” I said. “He doesn’t really need me here. He’s taking care of everything with the family, and I’m going to give him his space to do that. I can handle work from the office, and if he needs me at one of the meetings he has, I can join remotely just like him.”

  She looked like she wanted to argue with me, but she didn’t. She gathered me into a tight hug, then left. I took a few seconds to get my thoughts together, then went to my computer and pulled up the company website. I knew there were openings in other areas of the company, and I went to the online application. Once that was filled out, I packed my bags and went to bed.

  25

  Tom

  When I got into the hotel room, it was already dark and quiet. The box fan that Amanda insisted on ordering to help her sleep was in the door of the bedroom, droning on at a low level. Amanda was most likely already deep asleep, and I didn’t want to wake her, especially not when waking her would only result in the difficult conversation that I knew lay ahead.

  I fucked up, and I knew it. Talking that way to Mason, out loud in mixed company, was not only stupid, but wrong. As much as I wanted to believe that we would go back home and things would return to normal while I figured out how I wanted to proceed, I knew it wouldn’t work like that. Things had gone too far with Amanda now, and I had to make some choices about how I was going to make them work when we got back.

  I should have said that to Mason when he asked. I mean I didn’t know how we were going to make it work, but that I was figuring it out. I should have said anything other than what I did. But I couldn’t. I couldn’t admit what I knew was going on because then it would make it real. If I did that, it could have messed up everything, and the last thing I wanted to do was rock the boat.

  Of course, instead of rocking the boat, I had simply picked up a bazooka and blown a hole in the bottom of it. Amanda was pissed and hurt, and rightfully so, and I was settling back onto the couch that I realized was much less comfortable than the bed.

  At least the sound of the fan was soothing, and it didn’t take long before I was able to relax and let my mind wander toward sleep. As I drifted off, I thought in the morning I could make it right. I would be able to talk to her and tell her it was a mistake, that I panicked when I was asked and that I just needed some time to think about what we meant and how to move forward with whatever we decided.

  I woke up a little later than usual and sat up. The fan was off. The door to the bedroom was open. And Amanda was gone.

  Fuck.

  I stood and crossed the room to the desk, noticing a piece of paper folded on my laptop. Opening it up, I realized it was a note, in Amanda’s handwriting. It was short, just a few lines long, and my heart dropped into my stomach as I read it.

  She had left for home, taking an early flight. She would call or email if there were issues, but I clearly needed to stay and help my family. And I shouldn’t worry about the company during the time off, because she and Landon would handle it.

  “Dammit,” I said, crumpling the paper and tossing it away. I walked into the bedroom and noticed every trace of her was gone. I sat heavily on the bed and tried to breathe deeply.

  It hurt. It hurt way more than I was prepared to admit it did. I’d messed up in a way that was monumentally stupid, but I didn’t think she would just leave. Not without giving me a chance to explain myself. To figure out how to fix it. It was the worst possible scenario. Now she not only had returned home, and we weren’t together, but I had hurt her in the process.

  Deciding a shower might help me clear my mind, I stripped down and got under the hottest water I could stand. Instead of clearing my mind, however, it only made me laser focus on my anger and look for an outlet to direct it. It settl
ed on Danny.

  The PI, Dallas, had sent me Danny’s information, which included a home address. I was sure he thought I would never be so stupid as to go confront him directly, but at that moment, I was ready for the fight. If I could just clear this whole thing up with Danny, then I could move on, go back home, and try to figure out what could be done about Amanda. I wasn’t ready for her to be out of my life in that way yet. And the more I thought about it, I wasn’t sure I ever would be.

  I got out of the shower, got dressed, and headed down to my car. Speeding a bit, I made my way to Danny’s house hours before I knew he would have left for the bar. As I parked, I watched the house for a few moments, making sure there was no one around before I confronted him. I wanted this to go smoothly, but if it didn’t, I also didn’t want a whole lot of witnesses to see me beating the ever-loving piss out of him, either.

  Slamming the car door a bit harder than I perhaps thought I would, I wondered if I’d alerted Danny to my presence. Either way, the reckoning was coming, as I walked up his pathway and then up the steps to his porch. When I knocked on the door, I could hear the sound of a small dog yipping somewhere inside and feet shuffling toward the door.

  “Who is it?” Danny’s voice said from the other side of the door.

  “Tom Anderson. Open the fucking door,” I said.

  I realized as I said it, that perhaps it wasn’t the best way of ensuring he would either open the door or open the door and not have a gun in my face. Too late to change it, I stood there waiting, and when the knob turned, I readied myself to bolt if a piece of steel was shoved between my eyes. Instead, the bleary-eyed and confused Danny stood behind a screen door, wearing a T-shirt and striped pajama pants.

  “I ain’t letting you inside,” he said from behind the screen.