Stuart got up. Lauren grabbed his arm, pulled him back onto his sofa. ‘Look at me and listen,’ she said. ‘Kim provided an alibi for a rapist and murderer. It doesn’t matter if she’s completely innocent of any involvement in the abduction and murder of a child. She will always be hated by anyone who read or heard about the murder.’
She stormed off up the stairs. The bedroom door slammed shut.
A reflective silence pervaded the room. Stuart took a deep breath and was beginning to wish he’d never got involved with Jay and Kim’s hopeless situation.
***
Jay sat by his writing desk and bathed in the quietness and soft glow of the lamp. He looked small and defeated, nothing like the self-assured, striking teacher admired by his students and peers. Kayla came into the room. She draped her arm over his shoulder. ‘Dad, it’s three in the morning. Having trouble sleeping?’ She sat on the desk, looked down at him.
‘I can’t believe I did it. I suppose there are occasions when we all do something we regret.’
‘Do you mean, swallowing the capsules?’
‘The capsules, yes. The effects were bad enough. The guilt inside me is overwhelming. I can’t shake it off.’ The lowering of her eyebrows asked for an explanation. ‘It’s always there in the back of my mind. I suppose other male teachers have similar thoughts about how pretty and attractive the students are. They have crushes on older men, on teachers.’
‘Some of my friends had crushes on teachers when I was at school.’
‘But suppose there was an allegation against a teacher who had done nothing wrong? That is my fear. Sooner or later one of the students will stare at me in a provocative way, as if saying, “Come on, what are you waiting for?” You ignore it. You have to.’
‘And you always will.’
He nodded. ‘The hallucination was very powerful. Stuart said I had committed sex crimes and he’d found out I was not who I pretended to be. God, it was so real. When the police arrived, I knew I was going to be arrested for a sexual assault against one of my students. I can’t explain the mental anguish. They arrested me not for a sexual crime, but for thinking about committing one. Those officers are inside my head, leering at me, despising me. I feel dirty and sordid. I want it to go away.’
‘The effects will wear off soon enough, dad.’ She kissed his forehead. ‘Don’t stay down here all night. Get some rest.’
Jay crushed his eyes shut, tried to suppress the surge of a vile emotion. When he looked up, Kayla had gone.
He wiped away tears of shame.
***
Lauren leaned against the kitchen sink, arms folded. ‘Have you spoken to Jay?’
Her sharp voice sliced through Stuart. He looked up from his plate of spaghetti Bolognese. The look on her face set the scene for a heated conversation or an argument.
‘I’m not repeating myself.’ He sat back, gave her a hard stare. ‘If you have a problem, let’s talk.’
‘I don’t want you to contact him again. If he rings, ignore the call. We don’t want his problems straining our lives.’
‘I’m inclined to agree with you, but I can’t ignore him. He only wants to help Kim. Let’s not be too hasty.’
‘The whole business is a worry. Kim is in hospital because Gillian has drugged her. Perhaps she wants to kill her. Right? We sit here and do nothing? I don’t think so. We should report everything we know to the police, let them sort it.’
Stuart shook his head.
‘I’ll call them myself,’ she said.
Stuart shot up from the table. ‘Sit down.’
Her lips tightened. Reluctantly, she obeyed.
‘Look here, we’d have a hard time proving Gillian was slipping her a lethal drug, not to mention the difficulty trying to explain Kim’s new identity.’
‘The police will have information on who she is.’
‘I don’t think so. Only a handful of high-ranking officials and probation officers will be privy to such information.’
‘So, we ask the Eaton police to contact their counterpart in Grenthorpe.’
‘Even if they did, it could take months to complete an investigation.’
‘So be it.’
‘No. We should let Jay decide.’
‘You’re playing with fire. There’s more than one person gunning for Kim. Suppose they find out we’ve befriended her? They could come after us.’
Stuart threw his meal into the bin. ‘Don’t talk nonsense.’
‘I can’t live with the notion of a threat hanging over me. They’re callous people who have access to a dangerous designer drug, possibly the one that’s found its way into this country. It’s caused three deaths already. I’ve read articles on it. They have street names for it like, Black Light and Pink Lizard. Most addicts call it, Snarl. If users take too much they start to hallucinate. They imagine all sorts of weird things like monsters and aliens. They become paranoid. They go crazy beyond our understanding. One man was convinced his girlfriend had changed into a scarecrow and was going to murder him. He poured petrol over her when she was asleep and set her on fire. Another addict believed his own family was planning to execute him. He waited till they were asleep and smashed their heads to a pulp with a sledgehammer. Shoppers in New York had their throats ripped out in broad daylight by a teenager who believed he was a vampire and needed blood to stay alive.’
‘Why are you telling me this?’
‘Some addicts are never cured. They say it is the drug that never lets go.’
***
‘This is our last chance. It’s Thursday tomorrow. Gillian leaves the flat on Friday.’
A look of surprise crossed Kayla’s face. ‘Dad, you’re not well enough to leave home. You’re pale, tired and thirsty all the time. Your body isn’t up to it. Kim Robins is in the Community Hospital. She’ll be taken care of.’
‘For how long? Gillian could be replaced and the revenge mission continued. Gillian could even be the murdered girl’s mother and I doubt she’s working alone.’
‘What are you going to do?’
‘I have Kim’s mobile. I’m going to text Gillian, something along the lines of, “I’m going to kill Ethan. He’s meeting me tonight at eleven o’ clock at the castle bandstand. After I’ve killed him, I’ll give myself up.”’
‘Won’t she think it’s a trick?’
‘She probably doesn’t know Kim is in hospital. She will think Kim is delusional and go to meet her. Or, somebody will.’
‘Suppose she doesn’t turn up?’
‘We’ll have to wait and see. I’ll send the text tomorrow evening. I don’t want to give her too much time to think matters over.’
‘And when she arrives, Kim won’t be there.’
‘Kayla, I’m asking you to go there and take the place of Kim. I’ll be close by to protect you.’
‘You’d put my life at risk? I might be murdered. This is ridiculous.’
‘You will not be hurt. Once you reveal yourself I will make my entrance. I know it’s a lot to ask …’
Kayla lit a roll-up and left him on his own.
He knew the answer would be yes.
***
Jay nervously checked his watch. The moment of action was fast approaching. Kayla dragged on a cigarette, blew smoke out of the open car window.
‘Are you ready for this?’ Jay said.
‘Yeah, sure. I’m looking forward to some excitement … Come on, dad, what do you think? I could be dead in an hour.’
‘You’ll be safe. I’ll be hiding under the wooden steps leading up to the stage.’
‘You don’t have to keep telling me. Why didn’t you organise some kind of backup? Did Stuart not offer to help?’
‘His wife doesn’t want him involved. She said it would be too risky.’
‘She ain’t stupid. This Gillian woman could have a gun.’
‘I doubt it.’
‘You don’t know for sure.’
‘Be quiet, Kayla. You’re making me nervous.’
>
‘Nervous and weak as a baby. You shouldn’t be doing this.’
‘Not too weak to fight – if I have to … Here we go. It’s twenty past. I’ll go and hide in the shadows.’
He opened the car door. Kayla pulled his arm. ‘Dad, a kiss for good luck.’
The plan was put into action. Kayla ran over the same questions as Jay. Had Gillian been informed of Kim’s hospital admittance? Was there another reason for her not to reply to the fake text? So many questions were left hanging. Kayla wished she had brought a friend along for support. No doubt Jay would have blown his top and called the whole thing off.
Smoking a cigarette made the next five minutes endurable. She took her last drag, flicked the stump onto the pavement and set off. On reaching the lower perimeter wall of the castle she took the curved path that led to the bandstand. The surroundings were cloaked in darkness, except for islands of wet foliage visible in the light from the ornamental lamps. She looked around nervously, half expecting a masked attacker to jump out from behind a tree or bush. Seeing the bandstand offered some comfort. Jay was kneeling underneath the wooden steps, out of sight. Kayla climbed them and waited in the shadows. Distant voices pierced the air, and the whirr of bicycle wheels came from a path behind the bandstand. She waited for an agonising ten minutes, resisted the urge to call out for Jay.
The oppressive silence was broken by footfall. From out of the gloom came a woman wearing a long, dark coat and a headscarf. Kayla inched forward to have a look. The woman was aware of movement. She quickened her pace, stood in front of the stage and looked up. ‘Is it you, Kim?’ she said, her voice smooth and calm.
‘Yeah,’ Kayla said quietly and retreated into the shadow.
Gill moved quickly, rushed up the steps and onto the stage. ‘Ethan will be here soon. How are you going to kill him?’
Before Kayla could answer, Gill sprang at her and released her pent-up revenge. She threw punches to her head, twisted her arms and kicked her legs. Kayla reeled and fell onto the wooden floor. She writhed in pain, tried to unlock stiff fingers biting into her neck, stifling her screams.
Jay summoned enough strength to pull Gill away from his daughter. She spun around, arms flailing. Jay grabbed her wrists. ‘Let go of me,’ she cried. She looked at Kayla. Confusion and panic wiped out her anger.
‘Who is behind this plan to destroy Kim Robins?’ Jay said. Kayla searched her pockets to make sure there was no knife or gun. Gill spat and cursed. Jay tightened his grip. ‘Kim no longer lives in this town,’ he explained. ‘She’s safe. You will never be able to torment her again and you will never have the opportunity to kill her.’
‘She deserves to die for what she and Baines did to my niece. Do you know what they did? Did she tell you? They abducted, drugged, raped and murdered a sweet, innocent little girl.’
‘Kim had no part in the murder,’ Jay countered.
Gillian yanked her hands free, stared at Kayla and said, ‘Who are you?’
‘It doesn’t matter who she is,’ Jay said.
‘What a moron you are to have allowed that callous woman into your life. And you think she’s innocent? The police proved she was at the place Sarah was murdered.’ To Kayla, she said, ‘So, you came here instead of her, and hid in the shadows so I couldn’t see you properly. You’re lucky I didn’t kill you. The pair of you are involved now. We’ll find Seddon. Her days are numbered. Yours as well.’
Gill went down the steps and dashed into the gloom. Rage exploded inside Kayla. She jumped off the bandstand, ran at Gillian and ploughed into her using her full weight. Jay’s adrenaline rush kicked in for the second time. When he reached them he wrapped his arms around Kayla’s abdomen, lifted her into a standing position. ‘Enough,’ he cried. He drank the air to stabilise his balance.
‘I don’t like threats,’ Kayla growled. ‘They annoy me. No way was she going to leave this place in one piece.’
‘We can’t leave her here.’
‘It’s no use … The syringe …’
‘What do you mean?’
‘She dropped a syringe when she attacked me. I kept it in my pocket. Before you got to me I stuck it in her neck and pressed the plunger. The bitch had it coming.’
Gillian rolled over on her back, moaning and mumbling words of vengeance.
Chapter Thirty-Two
Jay rushed over to the school car park, phone pressed to his ear. ‘When are you home?’ Kayla asked.
‘I’m not sure. Shouldn’t be late. Is there any news?’
‘I bought a paper. They’ve already identified her as Gillian Ward. There’s not much detail. She threw herself off the walkway near the top of the castle. Investigations are underway.’
Jay made a worried sigh and climbed into the car.
‘You there, dad?’
‘I’ll speak to you later.’
The first few days back at school had been overloaded with tension and a worried sickness in his gut. Students were alarmed by his lackadaisical manner. Over a period of a few days his staffroom demeanour had changed from bright and chatty to dull and reticent.
***
Dread wormed its way up his body like a snake undulating through long grass. The drive to the Community Hospital was hindered by the possible repercussions of Gillian’s death. He arrived there safely after driving on autopilot. An ambulance driver gave directions to the Fulford Ward. A short drive along a narrow road with severe speed bumps took him to a car park opposite a plain, three-storey building. He obtained a ticket, stuck it on the windscreen and traipsed over to the Victoria Wing. A ‘No Smoking’ sign was fixed to the wall near the entrance. Dozens of cigarette butts were scattered on the ground beneath it. He went inside, ascended two flights of stairs and followed the signs. The door to the ward was locked. He pressed the visitors call bell on the wall. An attractive young nurse, dressed in casual clothes, opened the door and smiled. He gave his name, said he had come to see Kim Robins.
He followed her down another corridor with beige walls supporting childlike drawings and artwork. The air was stuffy, carried a trace of bleach. They stopped at the entrance to the communal area. Women, young and middle-aged, sat at tables, some drawing with crayons, others playing card games. One barefooted patient walked in circles, singing and laughing. The nurse coaxed her to sit down, then led Jay to the Quiet Room. The windowless room contained two chairs and a shelf supporting a row of dog-eared paperbacks. Two minutes went by. Voices grew louder and Kim walked in. Jay momentarily thought she’d sent in the wrong person or another nurse. Her hands were clasped tightly, her shoulders hunched. She sat opposite him. ‘I’m happy to see you, Jay.’ Her voice was soft, her eyes dull.
Jay gently squeezed her knee. ‘I’m happy to see you and relieved to see you’re all in one piece. How are you feeling?’
‘I can’t describe it. Empty, I suppose. I’ve been very tired and not eating much. I’m confused, can’t work out what happened to me … What are you staring at?’
‘Your hair’s a lot darker and your eyes are a different colour.’
She nodded. ‘This is the real me. Do you like what you see?’
‘You look pretty, I must say.’
She gave a hint of a smile. ‘The hospital fixed me up with these clothes. I was only wearing bra and knickers when the police brought me here.’
‘Do you know why you were brought here?’
‘I remember running along High Street. I hurt my foot. My whole body was on fire.’
‘Can you remember digging in your garden? Were you looking for the diaries you buried, the ones you didn’t want anyone else to read?’
‘The diaries? No, not the diaries. I went back to save Smarty’s life. He was alive, pining for me. I love him, miss him so much.’
‘Why did you kill him?’
Her face twisted in bewilderment. ‘He was becoming violent. He hated me. He barked and growled. I was sure he wanted to kill me.’
She shot up from the chair. Tears rolled. Jay embraced h
er. ‘Come on, sit down,’ he said. ‘I understand why you had to do it. I don’t blame you.’
‘You don’t understand. Not unless …’
‘Unless what?’
‘Doesn’t matter.’
‘All right. Can you remember the last time you took some of those Leso health capsules?’
A long silence ended by Kim saying, ‘I hope you’re not here to report me. I haven’t been arrested, I haven’t committed any crime. They brought me here because I was ill and you’re asking all these questions.’
‘I’m not going to report you to anyone. I’m here because I care for you. I want to help you live a life free from worry and anxiety.’
‘And why are Leso capsules important to you?’
‘I’ll tell you in a minute.’
‘I’ve been taking them for years, for my complexion. I took some last … What day is it?’
‘Wednesday.’
‘When did you last take Leso capsules?’ he asked again.
‘I’m not sure when it was. I remember being at the vicarage. There were red patches on my face. I tried using some cream and it didn’t work so I swallowed a handful of them.’
‘Those capsules affected your mind, drove you mad.’
‘What are you talking about? How do you know?’
‘I took some myself and had a frightening experience.’
Her body went rigid with shock. ‘You did what? I don’t understand.’
‘Your so-called friend, Gillian, substituted the contents of the capsules with a dangerous drug. I suspect she spiked your food and drinks. From the day you first met her the intention was to punish you. She used a drug that would warp your mind and eventually kill you. Your past has caught up with you again.’
She frowned and then her features softened with a welcoming relief in the realisation that Jay was there to help and had not abandoned her.
‘Gillian? I can’t believe she’d do such a thing. I was fond of her. She looked after me, bought me little presents, took Smarty to the vets and paid for his treatment.’
‘Gillian Ward is dead.’
Kim bowed her head and slowly looked up at him. He recounted details of what he knew about the abduction and murder of Sarah McEnery. Kim sat upright, her whole body listening to how Jay and Kayla hoodwinked Gillian into thinking she would turn up at the bandstand. Kim reflected on the scenario. ‘Gillian died instead of me. After all this time, they still hate me. Everyone hates me.’
All Your Fears Page 22