‘Jenny Powell doesn’t hate you. Kayla rang her. We paid her a visit. She told Kayla what Baines had done and that he’d been in prison. Did he tell you he’d been inside?’
‘I found out during the trial. It came as a massive shock. I had learned to accept his drug habit. I never suspected he was a paedophile, not until …’ Painful memories darkened her features.
‘I’m here to listen to your side of things. Give me a truthful account of the events between the abduction of the girl and the discovery of the body.’
‘I will tell you exactly what happened. I was twenty-four at the time. Me and Ethan were living in a flat on Union Road in Grenthorpe. Sarah McEnery’s home was a five-minute walk away from us. After she went missing, I found some newspapers with front-page articles about the abduction and investigation. I thought it odd because he never bought newspapers. He became irritable and we argued more than usual. I could tell something was on his mind.’
‘What were the signs?’
‘He became distant and often shut himself away in the bedroom for hours on end. He started going out on his own more often, usually in the evenings. If I asked where he’d been he got mad at me. I noticed packets of crisps and bottles of pop had gone missing from the fridge. I talked myself into believing he was seeing another woman, going out for picnics and sex. Doubt nagged in the back of my mind. One day he returned to the flat. His trainers were muddy and there was dirt and green patches on his clothes, like mould or slime off a wall. They reminded me of the days we used to come back all dirty after we’d been to some derelict cottages on the moor.’
‘Goresbreck Moor?’
‘Yeah. The cottages had been abandoned for years. We used to go there, smoke dope and have sex. Our clothes got covered in green stuff. The fields leading to the cottages were always muddy.’
‘It occurred to you he might have been going there?’
‘I had an idea he might be. I could only find out by going there myself and having a look round. I took a taxi to the outskirts of town and walked across the moor to the cottages. There was thick fog. When I got there, I looked in the ground-floor rooms. In one of them I spotted a bottle of water in the rubble. I saw a hole in the ceiling and wondered if it could have fallen from the room above. I had to go up some stairs that were hanging off the wall. Inside the room at the top, there were empty bottles and food wrappings on the floor, and a blanket in the corner. It looked lumpy as if it had been purposely put there. I was terrified at what might be underneath it. I crept over and had a look. I couldn’t believe what I was seeing. She was lying there cold and lifeless.’
‘Why didn’t you go to the police?’
‘I panicked. I was petrified. Ethan was in the system and became a person of interest. On the day of the abduction he said he’d broken into some houses to look for money and items he could sell. He needed the money for his addiction. He must have known we would be questioned and told me to give him an alibi so he wouldn’t be arrested for the burglaries. After I discovered the girl’s body I stayed with mum. I said me and Ethan had been arguing and fighting. I was going to tell the police I’d found the body, but a couple of days later the newspaper reported the discovery of two bodies in the derelict cottages. Ethan had fallen from the stairs and broke his neck. I was questioned by detectives and eventually charged with perverting the course of justice. I spent a year in custody and the judge gave me a two-year prison sentence … I lied to protect him, didn’t think I’d done anything wrong.’
‘Your story tallies with Jenny Powell’s’
‘I told her the truth. She was the only one who stood by me. I should never have been sent to a horrible, stinking prison. The prisoners and officers treated me bad. I’m ashamed to say it, but I became one of them.’
‘How do you mean?’
‘It was a prison for women,’ she said, scowling. ‘I was regularly strip-searched. The inmates were constantly bitching and fighting. I was attacked frequently and had boiling water thrown at me. There was no privacy. Some of the male staff kept looking through the Judas hole to see me undressing. They’d offer cigarettes in return for a blow job or to watch me strip naked. It was degrading.’
‘In what way did you become one of them?’
‘One of the female staff befriended me, gave me good jobs and access to the library. We became attached. We had feelings for each other and our friendship went a lot further than just a kiss and a cuddle. Life became bearable. My sexuality had been challenged. In the end, I enjoyed what she could give me … I’m sorry it turned out the way it did, Jay.’ She stood up, dropped her hand onto the door handle. ‘Only you can help me. You saved my life. I want to enjoy the rest of it and I refuse to hide behind makeup and cosmetic lenses. I want to be who I was. I’ll go away if I have to – far away from Eaton Cross.’
‘You may not have to.’
‘If you and me become a couple, you’ll be looking over your shoulder for the rest of your life. They want me dead and they won’t bother what happens to you … I’m going for a rest. If you don’t want to see me again, I’ll understand.’
She returned to the dormitory, crashed onto the hard bed and fell asleep.
Jay asked to speak to the psychiatrist. He waited in the communal room, sipped bland coffee and looked at pictures in a magazine. His developing boredom ceased at the sight of a tall, striking lady walking purposefully towards him. She said his name. He confirmed.
‘I am Miss Squires, Dr Goodwin’s assistant. Follow me, please.’ She showed him to a dusty office. Two ancient filing cabinets, a desk and two chairs occupied an otherwise bare room. ‘Take a seat, Mr Yeldon … Kim Robins was brought to us by the police. Section 136 of the Mental Health Act allows them to remove people from a public place and transport them to a police station or a hospital. In some cases, these people, who are deemed to be a threat to themselves or members of the public, are suffering from a mental illness … Are you a friend or relative?’
‘A friend. What happened when they brought her in?’
‘She was kept under observation and seen by a clinician and Dr Goodwin. He gave her a sedative to calm her and blood and urine samples were obtained for analysis. The doctor had to determine if she was mentally unstable or suffering from a mental disorder. I’m happy to tell you she is making a good recovery. There are no signs of mental aberration and the drug she was taking hasn’t triggered any underlying psychosis.’
‘Thank goodness.’
‘At present, we are monitoring her temperature, blood pressure and pulse rate. She can’t go home until she is more stable. Is there a reason why she took this drug overdose? She won’t tell me.’
Jay had anticipated the question. ‘Her mother died earlier this year. They were close and Kim found it difficult to cope with the shock. Not long after, she lost her job and became depressed.’
Squires placed a finger over her lips, contemplated for a few seconds, then displayed an open hand as if to say, ‘Tell me more.’
Jay held her gaze for a moment. ‘One of Kim’s friends is an addict. I believe she offered Kim a drug to help her cope with depression.’
‘And why didn’t you stop her from taking it?’
‘Well, you see, I tried. She wouldn’t listen.’
‘You could have sought professional help.’
‘She booked an appointment at the medical centre. The doctor prescribed some medication. I can’t recall the name.’
‘Phenelzine. Kim mentioned she had been taking it. Lucky for her it slightly diminished the effects of the drug she was foolishly taking.’
‘Did your analysis reveal what the drug is?’
‘Blood analysis detected a complex designer drug commonly called, Snarl. It is addictive, as most of them are, and extremely dangerous in large doses. Habitual use of it often leads to suicide.’ He gave her an intense look, prompting her to continue. Squires straightened herself. ‘The drug contains a synthetic cathinone. Cathinone is obtained from a particular type of
shrub. The lab tests identified a cathinone similar to MDPV.’
‘MDPV?’
‘It’s a long word. Even I struggle to remember it. The drug found in Kim’s blood is relatively new on the market.’
‘What are the effects?’
‘Sharpening of memory, increased sex drive, reduced inhibitions. Larger quantities can lead to distortion of self-identity, inability to recognise people they know, paranoia and hallucinations. Unpleasant memories can be distorted and a persecution complex can develop making the addict believe they are wanted for crimes they haven’t committed. Addicts often resort to self-harm and withdraw from society.’
‘Would it be possible to explain the dangers of MDPV to a person who was under the influence of it?’
‘If they had taken large doses, the addict would misconstrue what was being said. They mistrust family and friends, even someone they love deeply. Any further questions?’
‘Kim referred to scary films she watched during her younger days. Could they become a component of her paranoia or hallucinations?’
‘Possibly. She could, for example, believe a character was stalking her. Places and scenes from films are sometimes incorporated in a hallucination. The possibilities are endless. Hopefully, in a few days, she will be given phenelzine, as prescribed by her own doctor.’ Her pager bleeped. She read the message. ‘Sorry, I have to go.’
‘Thanks for talking to me. Can you give this mobile phone to Kim? I suspect she’ll want to use it at some point.’
‘No problem.’
Jay left the hospital harbouring emotions of relief, and fear of the days ahead.
Chapter Thirty-Three
Jay pushed himself hard to complete his teaching plan for the next day. Every stroke of the pen, every word written, was impeded by an unrelenting disquiet. Agitation had him pacing the room. He poured a lager and gazed at the church opposite, silhouetted against the evening sky. The scene he relished offered no reprieve from a consuming dread that made his stomach feel like a bag of ferrets.
When would the police come knocking on his door?
He downed his drink, picked up the piece of paper Kayla had stuck on his computer. One line scribbled in pencil, said, ‘Gone to stay with a friend.’ She hadn’t bothered to answer his calls. Jay surmised the enormity of what she had done had driven her away. He shuddered at the prospect of having to reveal to the police her involvement in his plan to confront Gillian – and the reasons why.
He took his empty glass to the kitchen. Someone knocked on the door. He summoned sufficient courage to answer it. Better now than later. He hoped Kayla had made a visit but prepared himself to be confronted by detectives. He took his time to answer. His body sagged and relief duelled with worry.
‘It’s a bit late, I know. I had to see you,’ Stuart said, a stern look on his face. He went inside, remained standing. ‘I’m not staying for long. Lauren didn’t want me to come here. She’s worried there might be trouble over the death of Gillian Ward.’
He gave Jay a searching look. Jay breathed uneasily and said, ‘The newspaper report said she fell off the castle walkway. Perhaps she lost her balance and fell.’
‘It’s a possibility.’
‘You have your own theory, don’t you?’
‘Yes. I think you arranged to meet her, told her you knew the truth about Kim’s past and accused her of passing a drug. You ended up arguing and, in a moment of fury, pushed her over the railings, or threw her over. You’re a strong fellow, easily capable of hurling a woman to her death.’
‘I didn’t murder Gillian Ward,’ Jay said, maintaining eye contact.
‘Who did?’ Stuart stepped closer to him, noticed the sweat of guilt forming on his forehead. ‘You’ve helped Kim in many ways,’ he said with a meaningful nod, ‘more than most men would be inclined to. You’re a good person. Men like you are few and far between. To be honest, I would have given up on Kim months back. I not only like you, I respect you … You’ve landed yourself in a mess and it’s up to you to sort it out. Tread carefully. I’ve nothing else to say.’
***
The nurse was hunched over a desk, scrutinising patients’ daily progress charts. She answered a tap on the door. Kim shuffled in. ‘Kelly, I’m ready for leaving. You wanted to see me?’
‘How are you getting home?’
‘I’m travelling back with a friend. He should be here soon.’
The nurse reached for a folder, took out a form and asked Kim to sign her name.
‘Is that it?’ Kim asked.
‘Not quite. Here’s your phenelzine, enough to last for two weeks. Make sure you see your doctor for a review. Your blood chemistry is satisfactory and your body temperature and blood pressure are back to normal. Take this card. It has a twenty-four-hour telephone number in case of an emergency or any problems. Have you collected your belongings?’
‘I’ve no belongings, except my phone and the clothes I’m wearing.’
‘Okay. Look after yourself, Kim. Think about what you did, how dangerous it was. We don’t want to see you here again.’
They hugged each other and said their goodbyes.
Jay arrived after a few minutes, didn’t immediately recognise the young dark-haired woman wearing a burgundy summer dress.
Kim reached out to him. ‘You look surprised.’
They embraced each other. Tears glistened in her eyes.
‘I’ve never seen you in a dress. You look great.’
‘Do I? I’ve gone all skinny. I need to put some weight back on. Emma brought the dress and sandals. I didn’t expect to see her.’
He draped his arm around her shoulder, took her to the car park.
‘Emma’s living on her own now with her son,’ Kim said during the journey back to Jay’s house.
‘Her boyfriend left her?’
‘He was selling cannabis in some public toilets. The cops pounced and arrested him. He knew what was coming. He pushed his luck too far.’
‘What did you tell Emma regarding your admittance to hospital?’
‘Nothing. I said I didn’t want to talk about it.’
‘Fair enough.’
Several minutes swept by. ‘What a lovely evening,’ Kim commented. ‘I hope there’s a time when I can go for a walk without being followed. One day I might …’
She broke into tears. Her skin blushed beneath her freckles.
‘What is it, Kim? You can tell me anything.’
‘I’m upset over Smarty. I was going to say, one day I might have another dog to take out for walks.’
‘Wait a few months until you have settled down, and we’ll go and look at some Labradors. What do you think?’
‘You’re very kind, but, honestly, I can’t carry on living here surrounded by danger.’
‘Wait and see what happens. We can make changes. I can protect you.’
‘I can’t expect you to be my bodyguard. I’d be safer in another country, far away from those who hate me and want to see me dead. Would you come and visit me if I lived abroad?’
‘Who knows? You may not have to move abroad.’
Jay pulled into a garage, filled the tank. A man returning to his vehicle glanced at Kim. She dropped her head and covered her face. Jay spotted her action from inside the convenience store. When he returned to his car he asked what the matter was.
‘I’ve gone back to looking the way I used to and already I’m scared of being recognised. You should be scared as well. Gillian Ward has friends and family. Now she’s dead they’ll come after me and you and your daughter.’
‘I hope not,’ he said, hitting the main road. ‘The local paper said police were alerted to Ward’s flat on Carville Road. Apparently, the landlord found packets of a white substance. He became suspicious and no doubt raised his concerns when he was questioned. Obviously, it was the same drug she used on you to induce paranoia and eventual suicide. Detectives don’t suspect foul play. They must believe Gillian Ward was an addict who took an overdose. Let’s h
ope they stick to that theory.’
‘Surely they would have questioned her family?’
‘Yes, but nobody from her side would reveal the real reason why she came to Eaton Cross, would they?’
‘It doesn’t mean I’m safe, though. Next time it could be a gun or knife that kills me.’
Jay went into silent mode. Their conversation prompted a crucial question. ‘What if the police discover a connection between you and Ward? Two women in the same town are found to have the same drug in their blood.’
‘They won’t connect us. One of the nurses said I was taken to hospital because I was a danger to myself or the public. I hadn’t committed a crime. The staff are not obliged to report their findings to the police.’
‘And they respect the rule of patient confidentiality.’
‘Yes. If I’d been arrested and found to be in possession of an illegal drug it would have been a different matter. You did the right thing telling them I was depressed.’
‘Stopped a lot of awkward questions being asked … You should have told me about your life with Baines and his despicable actions.’
‘I would have done, eventually, and I wouldn’t have blamed you for turning your back on me. You have the whole truth. Can you forgive me?’
‘You should have gone to the police straight away and informed them of your suspicions. I’m sure you did what you thought was right at the time. The past can’t be cured. We can only look to the future.’
***
Jay checked behind the door for any late post or a note from Kayla and found nothing. He surmised she would be keeping up with the local news, would have breathed a sigh of relief knowing Gillian’s death wasn’t being treated as suspicious. A nagging uncertainty compelled him to call her. He rang the number, was put through to voice mail and left a message asking her to ring back.
All Your Fears Page 23